the monk(僧侣)-第30章

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glance。　　She　rose　hastily　from　her　seat　with　an　exclamation　of
surprize；　and　attempted　to　retire；　But　I　followed　her；　detained
her；　and　entreated　to　be　heard。　　Persuaded　of　my　falsehood　She
refused　to　listen　to　me；　and　ordered　me　positively　to　quit　the
Garden。　　It　was　now　my　turn　to　refuse。　　I　protested　that　however
dangerous　might　be　the　consequences；　I　would　not　leave　her　till
She　had　heard　my　justification。　　I　assured　her　that　She　had　been
deceived　by　the　artifices　of　her　Relations；　that　I　could　convince
her　beyond　the　power　of　doubt　that　my　passion　had　been　pure　and
disinterested；　and　I　asked　her　what　should　induce　me　to　seek　her
in　the　Convent；　were　I　influenced　by　the　selfish　motives　which　my
Enemies　had　ascribed　to　me。

My　prayers；　my　arguments；　and　vows　not　to　quit　her；　till　She　had
promised　to　listen　to　me；　united　to　her　fears　lest　the　Nuns
should　see　me　with　her；　to　her　natural　curiosity；　and　to　the
effection　which　She　still　felt　for　me　in　spite　of　my　supposed
desertion；　at　length　prevailed。　She　told　me　that　to　grant　my
request　at　that　moment　was　impossible；　But　She　engaged　to　be　in
the　same　spot　at　eleven　that　night；　and　to　converse　with　me　for
the　last　time。　　Having　obtained　this　promise　I　released　her　hand；
and　She　fled　back　with　rapidity　towards　the　Convent。

I　communicated　my　success　to　my　Ally；　the　old　Gardener：　　He
pointed　out　an　hiding　place　where　I　might　shelter　myself　till
night　without　fear　of　a　discovery。　　Thither　I　betook　myself　at
the　hour　when　I　ought　to　have　retired　with　my　supposed　Master；
and　waited　impatiently　for　the　appointed　time。　　The　chillness　of
the　night　was　in　my　favour；　since　it　kept　the　other　Nuns　confined
to　their　Cells。　　Agnes　alone　was　insensible　of　the　inclemency　of
the　Air；　and　before　eleven　joined　me　at　the　spot　which　had
witnessed　our　former　interview。　　Secure　from　interruption；　I
related　to　her　the　true　cause　of　my　disappearing　on　the　fatal
fifth　of　May。　　She　was　evidently　much　affected　by　my　narrative：　
When　it　was　concluded；　She　confessed　the　injustice　of　her
suspicions；　and　blamed　herself　for　having　taken　the　veil　through
despair　at　my　ingratitude。

'But　now　it　is　too　late　to　repine！'　She　added；　'The　die　is
thrown：　　I　have　pronounced　my　vows；　and　dedicated　myself　to　the
service　of　heaven。　　I　am　sensible；　how　ill　I　am　calculated　for　a
Convent。　　My　disgust　at　a　monastic　life　increases　daily：　　Ennui
and　discontent　are　my　constant　Companions；　and　I　will　not　conceal
from　you　that　the　passion　which　I　formerly　felt　for　one　so　near
being　my　Husband　is　not　yet　extinguished　in　my　bosom。　　But　we
must　part！　　Insuperable　Barriers　divide　us　from　each　other；　and
on　this　side　the　Grave　we　must　never　meet　again！'

I　now　exerted　myself　to　prove　that　our　union　was　not　so
impossible　as　She　seemed　to　think　it。　　I　vaunted　to　her　the
Cardinal…Duke　of　Lerma's　influence　at　the　Court　of　Rome：　　I
assured　her　that　I　should　easily　obtain　a　dispensation　from　her
vows；　and　I　doubted　not　but　Don　Gaston　would　coincide　with　my
views；　when　informed　of　my　real　name　and　long　attachment。　　Agnes
replied　that　since　I　encouraged　such　an　hope；　I　could　know　but
little　of　her　Father。　　Liberal　and　kind　in　every　other　respect；
Superstition　formed　the　only　stain　upon　his　character。　　Upon　this
head　He　was　inflexible；　He　sacrificed　his　dearest　interests　to
his　scruples；　and　would　consider　it　an　insult　to　suppose　him
capable　of　authorising　his　daughter　to　break　her　vows　to　heaven。

'But　suppose；'　said　I　interrupting　her；　'Suppose　that　He　should
disapprove　of　our　union；　Let　him　remain　ignorant　of　my
proceedings；　till　I　have　rescued　you　from　the　prison　in　which
you　are　now　confined。　　Once　my　Wife；　you　are　free　from　his
authority：　　I　need　from　him　no　pecuniary　assistance；　and　when　He
sees　his　resentment　to　be　unavailing；　He　will　doubtless　restore
you　to　his　favour。　　But　let　the　worst　happen；　Should　Don　Gaston
be　irreconcileable；　my　Relations　will　vie　with　each　other　in
making　you　forget　his　loss：　and　you　will　find　in　my　Father　a
substitute　for　the　Parent　of　whom　I　shall　deprive　you。'

'Don　Raymond；'　replied　Agnes　in　a　firm　and　resolute　voice；　'I
love　my　Father：　　He　has　treated　me　harshly　in　this　one　instance；
but　I　have　received　from　him　in　every　other　so　many　proofs　of
love　that　his　affection　is　become　necessary　to　my　existence。　
Were　I　to　quit　the　Convent；　He　never　would　forgive　me；　nor　can　I
think　that　on　his　deathbed　He　would　leave　me　his　curse；　without
shuddering　at　the　very　idea。　　Besides；　I　am　conscious　myself；
that　my　vows　are　binding：　　Wilfully　did　I　contract　my　engagement
with　heaven；　I　cannot　break　it　without　a　crime。　　Then　banish　from
your　mind　the　idea　of　our　being　ever　united。　　I　am　devoted　to
religion；　and　however　I　may　grieve　at　our　separation；　I　would
oppose　obstacles　myself；　to　what　I　feel　would　render　me　guilty。'

I　strove　to　overrule　these　ill…grounded　scruples：　　We　were　still
disputing　upon　the　subject；　when　the　Convent　Bell　summoned　the
Nuns　to　Matins。　　Agnes　was　obliged　to　attend　them；　But　She　left
me　not　till　I　had　compelled　her　to　promise　that　on　the　following
night　She　would　be　at　the　same　place　at　the　same　hour。　　These
meetings　continued　for　several　Weeks　uninterrupted；　and　'tis　now；
Lorenzo；　that　I　must　implore　your　indulgence。　　Reflect　upon　our
situation；　our　youth；　our　long　attachment：　Weigh　all　the
circumstances　which　attended　our　assignations；　and　you　will
confess　the　temptation　to　have　been　irresistible；　you　will　even
pardon　me　when　I　acknowledge；　that　in　an　unguarded　moment；　the
honour　of　Agnes　was　sacrificed　to　my　passion。'

（Lorenzo's　eyes　sparkled　with　fury：　　A　deep　crimson　spread　itself
over　his　face。　　He　started　from　his　seat；　and　attempted　to　draw
his　sword。　　The　Marquis　was　aware　of　his　movement；　and　caught　his
hand：　　He　pressed　it　affectionately。

'My　Friend！　My　Brother！　Hear　me　to　the　conclusion！　　Till　then
restrain　your　passion；　and　be　at　least　convinced；　that　if　what　I
have　related　is　criminal；　the　blame　must　fall　upon　me；　and　not
upon　your　Sister。'

Lorenzo　suffered　himself　to　be　prevailed　upon　by　Don　Raymond's
entreaties。　　He　resumed　his　place；　and　listened　to　the　rest　of
the　narrative　with　a　gloomy　and　impatient　countenance。　　The
Marquis　thus　continued。）

'Scarcely　was　the　first　burst　of　passion　past　when　Agnes；
recovering　herself；　started　from　my　arms　with　horror。　　She　called
me　infamous　Seducer；　loaded　me　with　the　bitterest　reproaches；　and
beat　her　bosom　in　all　the　wildness　of　delirium。　　Ashamed　of　my
imprudence；　I　with　difficulty　found　words　to　excuse　myself。　　I
endeavoured　to　console　her；　I　threw　myself　at　her　feet；　and
entreated　her　forgiveness。　　She　forced　her　hand　from　me；　which　I
had　taken；　and　would　have　prest　to　my　lips。

'Touch　me　not！'　She　cried　with　a　violence　which　terrified　me；
'Monster　of　perfidy　and　ingratitude；　how　have　I　been　deceived　in
you！　　I　looked　upon　you　as　my　Friend；　my　Protector：　　I　trusted
myself　in　your　hands　with　confidence；　and　relying　upon　your
honour；　thought　that　mine　ran　no　risque。　　And　'tis　by　you；　whom　I
adored；　that　I　am　covered　with　infamy！　　'Tis　by　you　that　I　have
been　seduced　into　breaking　my　vows　to　God；　that　I　am　reduced　to　a
level　with　the　basest　of　my　sex！　　Shame　upon　you；　Villain；　you
shall　never　see　me　more！'

She　started　from　the　Bank　on　which　She　was　seated。　　I　endeavoured
to　detain　her；　But　She　disengaged　herself　from　me　with　violence；
and　took　refuge　in　the　Convent。

I　retired；　filled　with　confusion　and　inquietude。　　The　next
morning　I　failed　not　as　usual　to　appear　in　the　Garden；　but　Agnes
was　no　where　to　be　seen。　　At　night　I　waited　for　her　at　the　place
where　we　generally　met；　I　found　no　better　success。　　Several　days
and　nights　passed　away　in　the　same　manner。　　At　length　I　saw　my
offended　Mistress　cross　the　walk　on　whose　borders　I　was　working：
She　was　accompanied　by　the　same　young　Pensioner；　on　whose　arm　She
seemed　from　weakness　obliged　to　support　herself。　　She　looked　upon
me　for　a　moment；　but　instantly　turned　her　head　away。　　I　waited
her　return；　But　She　passed　on　to　the　Convent　without　paying　any
attention　to　me；　or　the　penitent　looks　with　which　I　implored　her
forgiveness。

As　soon　as　the　Nuns　were　retired；　the　old　Gardener　joined　me　with
a　sorrowful　air。

'Segnor；'　said　He；　'it　grieves　me　to　say；　that　I　can　be　no　longer
of　use　to　you。　　The　Lady　whom　you　used　to　meet　has　just　assured
me　that　if　I　admitted　you　again　into　the　Garden；　She　would
discover　the　whole　business　to　the　Lady　Prioress。　　She　bade　me
tell　you　also；　that　your　presence　was　an　insult；　and　that　if　you
still　possess　the　least　respect　for　her；　you　will　never　attempt
to　see　her　more。　　Excuse　me　then　for　informing　you　that　I　can
favour　your　disguise　no　longer。　　Should　the　Prioress　be
acquainted　with　my　conduct；　She　might　not　be　contented　with
dismissing　me　her　service：　　Out　of　revenge　She　might　accuse　me　of
having　profaned　the　Convent；　and　cause　me　to　be　thrown　into　the
Prisons　of　the　Inquisition。'

Fruitless　were　my　attempts　to　conquer　his　resolution。　　He　denied
me　all　future　entrance　into　the　Garden；　and　Agnes　persevered　in
neither　letting　me　see　or　hear　from　her。　　In　about　a　fortnight
after；　a　violent　illness　which　had　seized　my　Father　obliged　me　to
set　out　for　Andalusia。　　I　hastened　thither；　and　as　I　imagined；
found　the　Marquis　at　the　point　of　death。　　Though　on　its　first
appearance　his　complaint　was　declared　mortal；　He　lingered　out
several　Months；　during　which　my　attendance　upon　him　during　his
malady；　and　the　occupation　of　settling　his　affairs　after　his
decease；　permitted　not　my　quitting　Andalusia。　　Within　these　four
days　I　returned　to　Madrid；　and　on　arriving　at　my　Hotel；　I　there
found　this　letter　waiting　for　me。

（Here　the　Marquis　unlocked　the　drawer　of　a　Cabinet：　He　took　out　a
folded　paper；　which　He　presented　to　his　Auditor。　　Lorenzo　opened
it；　and　recognised　his　Sister's　hand。　　The　Contents　were　as
follows。

Into　what　an　abyss　of　misery　have　you　plunged　me！　　Raymond；　you
force　me　to　become　as　criminal　as　yourself。　　I　had　resolved　never
to　see　you　more；　if　possible；　to　forget　you；　If　not；　only　to
remember　you　with　hate。　　A　Being　for　whom　I　already　feel　a
Mother's　tenderness；　solicits　me　to　pardon　my　Seducer；　and　apply
to　his　love　for　the　means　of　preservation。　　Raymond；　your　child
lives　in　my　bosom。　　I　tremble　at　the　vengeance　of　the　Prioress；　I
tremble　much　for　myself；　yet　more　for　the　innocent　Creature　whose
existence　depends　upon　mine。　　Both　of　us　are　lost；　should　my
situation　be　discovered。　　Advise　me　then　what　steps　to　take；　but
seek　not　to　see　me。　　The　Gardener；　who　undertakes　to　deliver
this；　is　dismissed；　and　we　have　nothing　to　hope　from　that
quarter：　　The　Man　engaged　in　his　place　is　of　incorruptible
fidelity。　　The　best　means　of　conveying　to　me　your　answer；　is　by
concealing　it　under　the　great　Statue　of　St。　Francis；　which　stands
in　the　Capuchin　Cathedral。　　Thither　I　go　every　Thursday　to
confession；　and　shall　easily　have　an　opportunity　of　securing　your
letter。　　I　hear　that　you　are　now　absent　from　Madrid；　Need　I
entreat　you　to　write　the　very　moment　of　your　return？　　I　will　not
think　it。　　Ah！　Raymond！　　Mine　is　a　cruel　situation！　　Deceived　by
my　nearest　Relations；　compelled　to　embrac