the clouds-第3章
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STREPSIADES
It is then for this that they praise 〃the rapid flight of the
moist clouds； which veil the brightness of day〃 and 〃the waving
locks of the hundred…headed Typho〃 and 〃the impetuous tempests；
which float through the heavens； like birds of prey with aerial
wings loaded with mists〃 and 〃the rains； the dew； which the clouds
outpour。〃 As a reward for these fine phrases they bolt well…grown；
tasty mullet and delicate thrushes。
SOCRATES
Yes； thanks to these。 And is it not right and meet？
STREPSIADES
Tell me then why； if these really are the Clouds； they so very
much resemble mortals。 This is not their usual form。
SOCRATES
What are they like then？
STREPSIADES
I don't know exactly； well； they are like great packs of wool； but
not like women…no； not in the least。。。。And these have noses。
SOCRATES
Answer my questions。
STREPSIADES
Willingly！ Go on； I am listening。
SOCRATES
Have you not sometimes seen clouds in the sky like a centaur； a
leopard； a wolf or a bull？
STREPSIADES
Why； certainly I have； but what of that？
SOCRATES
They take what metamorphosis they like。 If they see a debauchee
with long flowing locks and hairy as a beast； like the son of
Xenophantes； they take the form of a Centaur in derision of his
shameful passion。
STREPSIADES
And when they see Simon； that thiever of public money； what do
they do then？
SOCRATES
To picture him to the life； they turn at once into wolves。
STREPSIADES
So that was why yesterday； when they saw Cleonymus； who cast
away his buckler because he is the veriest poltroon amongst men；
they changed into deer。
SOCRATES
And to…day they have seen Clisthenes； you see。。。。they are women
STREPSIADES
Hail； sovereign goddesses； and if ever you have let your celestial
voice be heard by mortal ears； speak to me； oh！ speak to me； ye
all…powerful queens。
CHORUS…LEADER
Hail！ veteran of the ancient times； you who burn to instruct
yourself in fine language。 And you； great high…priest of subtle
nonsense； tell us； your desire。 To you and Prodicus alone of all the
hollow orationers of to…day have we lent an ear…to Prodicus； because
of his knowledge and his great wisdom； and to you； because you walk
with head erect； a confident look； barefooted； resigned to
everything and proud of our protection。
STREPSIADES
Oh！ Earth！ What august utterances！ how sacred！ how wondrous！
SOCRATES
That is because these are the only goddesses； all the rest are
pure myth。
STREPSIADES
But by the Earth！ is our father； Zeus； the Olympian； not a god？
SOCRATES
Zeus！ what Zeus！ Are you mad？ There is no Zeus。
STREPSIADES
What are you saying now？ Who causes the rain to fall？ Answer me
that！
SOCRATES
Why； these； and I will prove it。 Have you ever seen it raining
without clouds？ Let Zeus then cause rain with a clear sky and
without their presence！
STREPSIADES
By Apollo！ that is powerfully argued！ For my own part； I always
thought it was Zeus pissing into a sieve。 But tell me； who is it makes
the thunder； which I so much dread？
SOCRATES
These； when they roll one over the other。
STREPSIADES
But how can that be？ you most daring among men！
SOCRATES
Being full of water； and forced to move along； they are of
necessity precipitated in rain； being fully distended with moisture
from the regions where they have been floating； hence they bump each
other heavily and burst with great noise。
STREPSIADES
But is it not Zeus who forces them to move？
SOCRATES
Not at all； it's the aerial Whirlwind。
STREPSIADES
The Whirlwind！ ah！ I did not know that。 So Zeus； it seems； has
no existence； and its the Whirlwind that reigns in his stead？ But
you have not yet told me what makes the roll of the thunder？
SOCRATES
Have you not understood me then？ I tell you； that the Clouds； when
full of rain； bump against one another； and that； being inordinately
swollen out； they burst with a great noise。
STREPSIADES
How can you make me credit that？
SOCRATES
Take yourself as an example。 When you have heartily gorged on stew
at the Panathenaea； you get throes of stomach…ache and then suddenly
your belly resounds with prolonged rumbling。
STREPSIADES
Yes； yes； by Apollo I suffer； I get colic； then the stew sets to
rumbling like thunder and finally bursts forth with a terrific
noise。 At first； it's but a little gurgling pappax； pappax！ then it
increases； papapappax！ and when I take my crap； why； it's thunder
indeed； papapappax！ pappax！！ papapappax！！！ just like the clouds。
SOCRATES
Well then； reflect what a noise is produced by your belly； which
is but small。 Shall not the air； which is boundless； produce these
mighty claps of thunder？
STREPSIADES
And this is why the names are so much alike： crap and clap。 But
tell me this。 Whence comes the lightning； the dazzling flame； which at
times consumes the man it strikes； at others hardly singes him。 Is
it not plain； that Zeus is hurling it at the perjurers？
SOCRATES
Out upon the fool！ the driveller！ he still savours of the golden
age！ If Zeus strikes at the perjurers； why has he not blasted Simon；
Cleonymus and Theorus？ Of a surety； greater perjurers cannot exist。
No； he strikes his own temple； and Sunium； the promontory of Athens；
and the towering oaks。 Now； why should he do that？ An oak is no
perjurer。
STREPSIADES
I cannot tell； but it seems to me well argued。 What is the
lightning then？
SOCRATES
When a dry wind ascends to the Clouds and gets shut into them；
it blows them out like a bladder； finally； being too confined； it
bursts them； escapes with fierce violence and a roar to flash into
flame by reason of its own impetuosity。
STREPSIADES
Ah； that's just what happened to me one day。 It was at the feast
of Zeus！ I was cooking a sow's belly for my family and I had forgotten
to slit it open。 It swelled out and； suddenly bursting； discharged
itself right into my eyes and burnt my face。
LEADER OF THE CHORUS
Oh； mortal； you who desire to instruct yourself in our great
wisdom； the Athenians； the Greeks will envy you your good fortune。
Only you must have the memory and ardour for study； you must know
how to stand the tests； hold your own； go forward without feeling
fatigue； caring but little for food； abstaining from wine； gymnastic
exercises and other similar follies； in fact； you must believe as
every man of intellect should； that the greatest of all blessings is
to live and think more clearly than the vulgar herd； to shine in the
contests of words。
STREPSIADES
If it be a question of hardiness for labour； of spending whole
nights at work； of living sparingly； of fighting my stomach and only
eating chickpease； rest assured； I am as hard as an anvil。
SOCRATES
Henceforward； following our example； you will recognize no other
gods but Chaos； the Clouds and the Tongue； these three alone。
STREPSIADES
I would not speak to the others； even if I met them in the street；
not a single sacrifice； not a libation； not a grain of incense for
them！
LEADER OF THE CHORUS
Tell us boldly then what you want of us； you cannot fail to
succeed。 If you honour and revere us and if you are resolved to become
a clever man。
STREPSIADES
Oh； sovereign goddesses； it is only a very small favour that I ask
of you； grant that I may outdistance all the Greeks by a hundred
stadia in the art of speaking。
LEADER OF THE CHORUS
We grant you this； and henceforward no eloquence shall more
often succeed with the people than your own。
STREPSIADES
May the gods shield me from possessing great eloquence！ That's not
what I want。 I want to be able to turn bad law…suits to my own
advantage and to slip through the fingers of my creditors。
LEADER OF THE CHORUS
It shall be as you wish； for your ambitions are modest。 Commit
yourself fearlessly to our ministers； the sophists。
STREPSIADES
This I will do； for I trust in you。 Moreover there is no drawing
back； what with these cursed horses and this marriage； which has eaten
up my vitals。 （More and more volubly from here to the end of speeck）
So let them do with me as they will； I yield my body to them。 Come
blows； come hunger； thirst； heat or cold； little matters it to me；
they may flay me； if I only escape my debts； if only I win the
reputation of being a bold rascal； a fine speaker； impudent；
shameless； a braggart； and adept at stringing lies； an old stager at
quibbles； a complete table of laws； a thorough rattle； a fox to slip
through any hole； supple as a leathern strap； slippery as an eel； an
artful fellow； a blusterer； a villain； a knave with a hundred faces；
cunning； intolerable； a gluttonous dog。 With such epithets do I seek
to be greeted； on these terms they can treat me as they choose； and；
if they wish； by Demeter！ they can turn me into sausages and serve
me up to the philosophers。
CHORUS （singing）
Here have we a bold and well…disposed pupil indeed。 When we have
taught you； your glory among the mortals will reach even to the skies。
STREPSIADES （singing）
Wherein will that profit me？
CHORUS （singing）
You will pass your whole life among us and will be the most envied
of men。
STREPSIADES （singing）
Shall I really ever see such happiness？
CHORUS （singing）
Clients will be everlastingly besieging your door in crowds；
burning to get at you； to explain their business to you and to consult
you about their suits； which； in return for your ability； will bring
you in great sums。
LEADER OF THE CHORUS
But； Socrates； begin the lessons you want to teach this old man；
rouse his mind； try the strength of his intelligence。
SOCRATES
Come； tell me the kind of mind you have； it's important that I
know this； that I may order my batteries against you in the right
fashion。
STREPSIADES
Eh； what！ in the name of the gods； are you purposing to assault me
then？
SOCRATES
No。 I only wish to ask you some questions。 Have you any memory？
STREPSIADES
That depends： if anything is owed me； my memory is excellent；
but if I owe； alas！ I have none whatever。
SOCRATES
Have you a natural gift for speaking？
STREPSIADES
For speaking； no； for cheating； yes。
SOCRATES
How will you be able to learn then？
STREPSIADES
Very easily； have no fear。
SOCRATES
Thus； when I throw forth some philosophical thought anent things
celestial。； you will seize it in its very flight？
STREPSIADES
Then I am to snap up wisdom much as a dog snaps up a morsel？
SOCRATES （aside）
Oh！ the ignoramus！ the barbarian！ （to STREPSIADES） I greatly fear；
old man； it will be n
