hard cash-第10章

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Dr。　Short　Mr。　OsmondMrs。　HetheringtonMr。　Alfred　HardieLady　DewryMrs。　and　Miss　Bosanquet。　What　a　pity　Edward　was　not　at　home；　dear；　Mr。　Alfred　Hardie's　visit　must　have　been　to　him。〃

〃Oh；　of　course；　mamma。〃

〃A　very　manly　young　gentleman。〃

〃'Oh；　yes。　No。　He　is　so　rude。〃

〃Is　he？　Ah！　he　was　ill　just　then；　and　pain　irritates　gentlemen；　they　are　not　accustomed　to　it；　poor　Things。〃

〃That　is　like　you；　dear　mamma；　making　excuses　for　one。〃　Julia　added　faintly；　〃But　he　is　so　impetuous。〃

〃I　have　a　daughter　who　reconciles　me　to　impetuosity。　And　he　_must_　have　a　good　heart；　he　was　so　kind　to　my　boy。〃

Julia　looked　down　smiling；　but　presently　seemed　to　be　seized　with　a　spirit　of　contradiction：　she　began　to　pick　poor　Alfred　to　pieces；　he　was　this；　that；　and　the　other；　and　then　so　bold；　she　might　say　impudent。

Mrs。　Dodd　replied　calmly　that　he　was　very　kind　to　her　boy。

〃Oh；　mamma；　you　cannot　approve　all　the　words　he　spoke。〃

〃It　is　not　worth　while　to　remember　all　the　words　young　gentlemen　speak　now…a…days。　He　was　very　kind　to　my　boy；　I　remember　that。〃

The　tea　was　now　ready；　and　Mrs。　Dodd　sat　down；　and　patted　a　chair；　with　a　smile　of　invitation　for　Julia　to　come　and　sit　beside　her。　But　Julia　said；　〃In　one　minute；　dear；〃　and　left　the　room。

When　she　came　back；　she　fluttered　up　to　her　mother　and　kissed　her　vehemently；　then　sat　down　radiant。　〃Ah！〃　said　Mrs。　Dodd；　〃why；　you　are　looking　yourself　once　more。　How　do　you　feel　now？　Better？〃

〃How　do　I　feel？　Let　me　see：　The　world　seems　one　e…nor…mous　flower…garden；　and　Me　the　butterfly　it　all　belongs　to。〃　She　spake；　and　to　confirm　her　words　the　airy　thing　went　waltzing；　sailing；　and　fluttering　round　the　room；　and　sipping　mamma　every　now　and　then　on　the　wing。

In　this　buoyancy　she　remained　some　twenty…four　hours；　and　then　came　clouds　and　chills；　which；　in　their　turn；　gave　way　to　exultation；　duly　followed　by　depression。　Her　spirits　were　so　uncertain；　that　things　too　minute　to　justify　narration　turned　the　scale　either　way：　a　word　from　Mrs。　Dodda　new　face　at　St。　Anne's　Church　looking　devoutly　her　waya　piece　of　town　gossip　distilled　in　her　ear　by　Mrs。　Maxleyand　she　was　sprightly　or　languid；　and　both　more　than　reason。

One　drizzly　afternoon　they　were　sitting　silent　and　saddish　in　the　drawing…room；　Mrs。　Dodd　correcting　the　mechanical　errors　in　a　drawing　of　Julia's；　and　admiring　the　rare　dash　and　figure；　and　Julia　doggedly　studying　Dr。　Whately's　Logic；　with　now　and　then　a　sigh；　when　suddenly　a　trumpet　seemed　to　articulate　in　the　little　hall：　〃Mestress　Doedd　at　home　？〃

The　lady　rose　from　her　seat；　and　said　with　a　smile　of　pleasure；　〃I　hear　a　voice。〃

The　door　opened；　and　in　darted　a　grey…headed　man；　with　handsome　but　strongly　marked　features；　laughing　and　shouting　like　a　schoolboy　broke　loose。　He　cried　out；　〃Ah！　I've　found　y'　out　at　last。〃　Mrs。　Dodd　glided　to　meet　him；　and　put　out　both　her　hands；　the　palms　downwards；　with　the　prettiest　air　of　ladylike　cordiality；　he　shook　them　heartily。　〃The　vagabins　said　y'　had　left　the　town；　but　y'　had　only　flitted　from　the　quay　to　the　subbubs；　'twas　a　pashint　put　me　on　the　scint　of　ye。　And　how　are　y'　all　these　years？　an'　how's　Sawmill？〃

〃Sawmill！　What　is　that？〃

〃It's　just　your　husband。　Isn't　his　name　Sawmill？〃

〃Dear　no！　Have　you　forgotten？David。〃

〃Ou；　ay。　I　knew　it　was　some　Scripcher　Petrarch　or　another；　Daavid；　or　Naathan；　or　Sawmill。　And　how　is　he；　and　where　is　he？〃

Mrs。　Dodd　replied　that　he　was　on　the　seas；　but　expect

〃Then　I　wish　him　well　off　'em；　confound　'em　oncannall！　Halloa！　why；　this　will　be　the　little　girl　grown　up　int'　a　wumman　while　ye　look　round。〃

〃Yes；　may　good　friend；　and　her　mother's　darling。〃

〃And　she's　a　bonny　lass；　I　can　tell　ye。　But　no　freend　to　the　Dockers；　I　see。〃

〃Ah！〃　said　Mrs。　Dodd　sadly；　〃looks　are　deceitful；　she　is　under　medical　advice　at　this　very〃

〃Well；　that　won't　hurt　her；　unless　she　takes　it。〃　And　he　burst　into　a　ringing　laugh：　but　in　the　middle　of　it；　stopped　dead　short；　and　his　face　elongated。　〃Lord　sake；　mad'm；〃　said　he　impressively；〃　mind　what　y'　are　at；　though；　Barkton's　just　a　trap　for　fanciful　femuls：　there's　a　n'oily　ass　called　Osmond；　and　a　canting　cut…throat　called　Stephenson　and　a　genteel；　cadaveris　old　assassin　called　Short；　as　long　as　a　maypole；　they'd　soon　take　the　rose　out　of　Miss　Floree's　cheek　here。　Why；　they'd　starve　Cupid；　an'　veneseck　Venus；　an'　blister　Pomonee；　the　vagabins。〃

Mrs。　Dodd　looked　a　little　confused；　and　exchanged　speaking　glances　with　Julia。　〃　However；〃　she　said　calmly；　〃I　_have_　consulted　Mr。　Osmond　and　Dr。　Short；　but　have　not　relied　on　them　alone。　I　have　taken　her　to　Sir　William　Best。　And　to　Dr。　Chalmers。　And　to　Dr。　Kenyon。〃　And　she　felt　invulnerable　behind　her　phalanx　of　learning　and　reputation。

〃Good　Hivens！〃　roared　the　visitor；　〃what　a　gauntlet　o'　gabies　for　one　girl　to　run；　and　come　out　alive！　And　the　picter　of　health。　My　faith；　Miss　Floree；　y'　are　tougher　than　ye　look。〃

〃My　daughter's　name　is　Julia；〃　observed　Mrs。　Dodd；　a　little　haughtily；　but　instantly　recovering　herself；　she　said；　〃This　is　Dr。　Sampson；　lovean　old　friend　of　your　mother's。〃

〃And　th'　Author　an'　Invintor　of　th'　great　Chronothairmal　Therey　o'　Midicine；　th'　Unity　Perriodicity　an'　Remittency　of　all　disease；〃　put　in　the　visitor；　with　such　prodigious　swiftness　of　elocution　that　the　words　went　tumbling　over　one　another　like　railway　carriages　out　on　pleasure；　and　the　sentence　was　a　pile　of　loud；　indistinct　syllables。

Julia's　lovely　eyes　dilated　at　this　clishmaclaver；　and　she　bowed　coldly。　Dr。　Sampson　had　revealed　in　this　short　interview　nearly　all　the　characteristics　of　voice；　speech；　and　manner；　she　had　been　taught　from　infancy　to　shun：　boisterous；　gesticulatory；　idiomatic；　and　had　taken　the　discourse　out　of　her　mamma's　mouth　twice。　Now　Albion　Villa　was　a　Red　Indian　hut　in　one　respect：　here　nobody　interrupted。

Mrs。　Dodd　had　little　personal　egotism；　but　she　had　a　mother's；　and　could　not　spare　this　opportunity　of　adding　another　Doctor　to　her　collection：　so　she　said　hurriedly；　〃Will　you　permit　me　to　show　you　what　your　learned　confreres　have　prescribed　her？〃　Julia　sighed　aloud；　and　deprecated　the　subject　with　earnest　furtive　signs；　Mrs。　Dodd　would　not　see　them。　Now；　Dr。　Sampson　was　himself　afflicted　with　what　I　shall　venture　to　call　a　mental　ailment；　to　wit；　a　furious　intolerance　of　other　men's　opinions；　he　had　not　even　patience　to　hear　them。　〃Maidearmad'm；〃　said　he　hastily；　〃when　you've　told　me　their　names；　that's　enough。　Short　treats　her　for　liver；　Sir　William　goes　in　for　lung　disease　or　heart；　Chalmers　sis　it's　the　nairves；　and　Kinyon　the　mookis　membrin；　and　_I_　say　they　are　fools　and　lyres　all　four。〃

〃Julia！〃　ejaculated　Mrs。　Dodd；　〃this　is　very　extraordinary。〃

〃No；　it　is　not　extraordinary；〃　cried　Dr。　Sampson　defiantly；　〃nothing　is　extraordinary。　D'ye　think　I've　known　these　shallow　men　thirty　years；　and　not　plumbed　'um？〃

〃Shallow；　my　good　friend？　Excuse　me！　they　are　the　ablest　men　in　your　own　branch　of　your　own　learned　profession。〃

〃Th'　ablest！　Oh；　you　mean　the　money…makingest：　now　listen　me！　our　lairned　Profession　is　a　rascally　one。　It　is　like　a　barrel　of　beer。　What　rises　to　the　top？〃　Here　he　paused　for　a　moment；　then　answered　himself　furiously；　〃THE　SCUM。〃

This　blast　blown；　he　moderated　a　little。　〃Look　see！〃　said　he；　〃up　to　three　or　four　thousand　a　year；　a　Docker　is　often　an　honest　man；　and　sometimes　knows　something　of　midicine；　not　much；　because　it　is　not　taught　anywhere。　But　if　he　is　making　over　five　thousand；　he　must　be　a　rogue　or　else　a　fool：　either　he　has　booed　an'　booed；　an'　cript　an'　crawled；　int'　wholesale　collusion　with　th'　apothecary　an'　the　accoucheurthe　two　jockeys　that　drive　John　Bull's　faemily　coachand　they　are　sucking　the　pashint　togither；　like　a　leash　o'　leeches：　or　else　he　has　turned　spicialist；　has　tacked　his　name　to　some　poplar　disorder；　real　or　imaginary；　it　needn't　exist　to　be　poplar。　Now；　those　four　you　have　been　to　are　spicialists；　and　that　means　monomaniuestheir　buddies　exspatiate　in　West…ind　squares；　but　their　souls　dwell　in　a　n'alley；　ivery　man　jack　of　'em：　Aberford's　in　Stomich　Alley；　Chalmers's　in　Nairve　Court；　Short's　niver　stirs　out　o'　Liver　Lane；　Paul's　is　stuck　fast　in　Kidney　Close；　Kinyon's　in　Mookis　Membrin　Mews；　and　Hibbard's　in　Lung　Passage。　Look　see！　nixt　time　y'　are　out　of　sorts；　stid　o'　consultin'　three　bats　an'　a　n'owl　at　a　guinea　the　piece；　send　direct　to　me；　and　I'll　give　y'　all　their　opinions；　and　all　their　prescriptions；　_gratis。_　And　deevilich　dear　ye'll　find　'em　at　the　price；　if　ye　swallow　'm。〃

Mrs。　Dodd　thanked　him　coldly　for　the　offer；　but　said　she　would　be　more　grateful　if　he　would　show　his　superiority　to　persons　of　known　ability　by　just　curing　her　daughter　on　the　spot。

〃Well；　I　will；〃　said　he　carelessly：　and　all　his　fire　died　out　of　him。　〃Put　out　your　tongue！Now　your　pulse！〃


Mrs。　Dodd　knew　her　man　（ladies　are　very　apt　to　fathom　their　male　acquaintancetoo　apt；　_I_　think）；　and；　to　pin　him　to　the　only　medical　theme　which　interested　her；　seized　the　opportunity　while　he　was　in　actual　contact　with　Julia's　wrist；　and　rapidly　enumerated　her　symptoms；　and　also　told　him　what　Mr。　Osmond　had　said　about　Hyperaesthesia。

〃GOOSE　GREECE！〃　barked　Sampson；　loud；　clear；　and　sharp　as　an　irritated　watch…dog；　but　this　one　bow…wow　vented；　he　was　silent　as　abruptly。

Mrs。　Dodd　smiled；　and　proceeded　to　Hyperaemia；　and　thence　to　the　Antiphlogistic　Regimen；

At　that　unhappy　adjective；　Sampson　jumped　up；　cast　away　his　patient's　hand；　forgot　her　existenceshe　was　but　a　charming　individualand　galloped　into　his　native　region；　Generalities。

〃Antiphlogistic！　Maidearmad'm；　that　one　long　fragmint　of　ass's　jaw　has　slain　a　million。　Adapted　to　the　weakness　of　human　nature；　which　receives　with　rivirince　ideas　however　childish；　that　come　draped　in　long…tailed　and　exotic　words；　that　aasimine　polysyllable　has　riconciled　the　modern　mind　to　the　chimeras　of　th'　ancients；　and　outbutchered　the　guillotine；　the　musket；　and　the　sword：　ay；　and　but　for　me

　　　　　Had　barred　the　door　　　　　　For　cinturies　more

on　the　great　coming　sceince；　the　sceince　of　healing　diseases；　instead　of　defining　and　dividing　'em　and　lengthening　their　names　and　their　durashin；　and　shortening　nothing　but　the　pashint。　Th'　Antiphlogistic　Therey　is　this：　That　disease　is　fiery；　and　that　any　artificial　exhaustion　of　vital　force　must　cool　the　system；　and　reduce　the　morbid　fire；　called；　in　their　donkey　Latin　'flamma；'　and　in　their　compound　donkey　Latin　'inflammation；'　and　in　their　Goose　Greece；　'phlogosis；'　'phlegmon；'　&c。　And　accordingly　th'　Antiphlogistic　Practice　is；　to　cool　the　sick　man　by　bleeding　him；　and；　when　blid；　either　to　rebleed　him　with　a　change　of　instrument；　bites　and　stabs　instid　of　gashes；　or　else　to　rake　the　blid；　and　then　blister　the　blid　and　raked；　and　then　push　mercury　till　the　teeth　of　the　blid；　raked；　and　blistered　shake　in　their　sockets；　and　to　starve　the　blid；　purged；　salivated；　blistered　wretch　from　first　to　last。　This　is　the　Antiphlogistic　system。　It　is　seldom　carried　out　entire；　because　the　pashint；　at　the　first　or　second　link　in　their　rimedial　chain；　expires；　or　else　gives　such　plain　signs　of　sinking；　that　even　these　ass…ass…ins　take　fright；　and　try　t'　undo　their　own　work；　not　disease's；　by　tonics　an'　turtle；　and　stimulants：　which　things　given　at　the