hard cash-第12章

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Mrs。　Dodd；　with　an　air　of　nonchalance；　replied　to　the　effect　that　Dr。　Sampson　was　not　her　offspring；　and　so　she　was　not　bound　to　correct　his　eccentricities。　〃And　I　suppose；〃　said　she；　languidly；　〃we　must　accept　these　extraordinary　people　as　we　find　them。　But　that　is　no　reason　why　_you_　should　say　'P's　and　Q's；'　darling。〃

That　day　her　hospitable　board　was　spread　over　a　trap。　Blessed　with　an　oracle　irrelevantly　fluent；　and　dumb　to　the　point；　she　had　asked　him　to　dinner　with　maternal　address。　He　could　not　be　on　his　guard　eternally；　sooner　or　later；　through　inadvertence；　or　in　a　moment　of　convivial　recklessness；　or　in　a　parenthesis　of　some　grand　Generality；　he　would　cure　her　child：　or；　perhaps；　at　his　rate　of　talking；　would　wear　out　all　his　idle　themes；　down　to　the　very　〃well…being　of　mankind；〃　and　them　Julia's　mysterious　indisposition　would　come　on　the　blank　tapis。　With　these　secret　hopes　she　presided　at　the　feast；　all　grace　and　gentle　amity。　Julia；　too；　sat　down　with　a　little　design；　but　a　very　different　one；　viz。；　of　being　chilly　company；　for　she　disliked　this　new　acquaintance；　and　hated　the　science　of　medicine。

The　unconscious　Object　chatted　away　with　both；　and　cut　their　replies　very　short；　and　did　strange　things：　sent　away　Julia's　chicken；　regardless　of　her　scorn；　and　prescribed　mutton；　called　for　champagne　and　made　her　drink　it　and　pout；　and　thus　excited　Mrs。　Dodd's　hopes　that　he　was　attending　to　the　case　by　degrees。

But　after　dinner；　Julia；　to　escape　medicine　universal　and　particular；　turned　to　her　mother；　and　dilated　on　treachery　of　her　literary　guide；　the　_Criticaster。_　〃It　said　'Odds　and　Ends'　was　a　good　novel　to　read　by　the　seaside。　So　I　thought　then　oh！　how　different　it　must　be　from　most　books；　if　you　can　sit　by　the　glorious　sea　and　even　look　at　it。　So　I　sent　for　it　directly；　and；　would　you　believe；　it　was　an　ignoble　thing；　all　flirtations　and　curates。　The　sea　indeed！　A　pond　would　be　fitter　to　read　it　by；　and　one　with　a　good　many　geese　on。〃

〃Was　ever　such　simplicity！〃　said　Mrs。　Dodd。　〃Why；　my　dear；　that　phrase　about　the　sea　does　not　_mean_　anything。　I　shall　have　you　believing　that　Mr。　So…and…So；　a　novelist；　can　_'wither　fashionable　folly；'_　and　that　_'a　painful　incident'_　to　one　shopkeeper　has　_'thrown　a　gloom'_　over　a　whole　market…town；　and　so　on。　Now…a…days　every　third　phrase　is　of　this　character；　a　starling's　note。　Once；　it　appears；　there　was　an　age　of　gold；　and　then　came　one　of　iron；　and　then　of　brass。　All　these　are　gone；　and　the　age　of　'jargon'　has　succeeded。〃

She　sighed；　and　Sampson　generalised；　he　plunged　from　the　seaside　novel　into　the　sea　of　fiction。　He　rechristened　that　joyous　art　Feckshin；　and　lashed　its　living　professors。　〃You　devour　their　three　volumes　greedily；〃　said　he；　〃but　after　your　meal　you　feel　as　empty　as　a　drum；　there　is　no　leading　idea　in　'um；　now　there　always　isin　Moliere；　and　_he_　comprehended　the　midicine　of　his　age。　But　what　fundamental　truth　d'our　novelists　iver　convey？　All　they　can　do　is　pile　incidents。　Their　customers　dictate　th'　article：　unideaed　melodrams　for　unideaed　girls。　The　writers　and　their　feckshins　belong　to　one　species；　and　that's　'the　non…vertebrated　animals；'　and　their　midicine　is　Bosh；　why；　they　bleed　still　for　falls　and　fevers；　and　niver　mention　vital　chronometry。　Then　they　don't　look　straight　at　Nature；　but　see　with　their　ears；　and　repeat　one　another　twelve　deep。　Now；　listen　me！　there　are　the　cracters　for　an　'ideaed　feckshin'　in　Barkington；　and　I'd　write　it；　too；　only　I　haven't　time。〃

At　this；　Julia；　forgetting　her　resolution；　broke　out；　〃Romantic　characters　in　Barkington？　Who？　who？〃

〃Who　_should_　they　be；　but　my　pashints？　Ay；　ye　may　lauch；　Miss　Julee；　but　wait　till　ye　see　them。〃　He　was　then　seized　with　a　fit　of　candour；　and　admitted　that　some；　even　of　his　pashints；　were　colourless；　indeed；　not　to　mince　the　matter；　six　or　seven　of　that　sacred　band　were　nullity　in　person。　〃I　can　compare　the　beggars　to　nothing；〃　said　he；　〃but　the　globules　of　the　Do…Nothings；　deed　insipid；　and　nothing　in　'em。　But　the　others　make　up。　Man　alive；　I've　got　'a　rosy…cheeked　miser；'　and　an　'ill…used　attorney；'　and　an　'honest　Screw'he　is　a　gardener；　with　a　head　like　a　cart…horse。〃

〃Mamma！　mamma！　that　is　Mr。　Maxley；〃　cried　Julia；　clapping　her　hands；　and　thawing　in　her　own　despite。

〃Then　there's　my　virgin　martyr　and　my　puppy。　They　are　brother　and　sister；　and　there's　their　father；　but　he　is　an　impenetrable　dogwon't　unbosom。　Howiver；　he　sairves　to　draw　chicks　for　the　other　two；　and　so　keep　'em　goen。　By…the…bye；　you　know　my　puppy？〃

〃We　have　not　that　honour。　Do　we　know　Dr。　Sampson's　puppy；　love？〃　inquired　Mrs。　Dodd；　rather　languidly。

〃Mamma！IIknow　no　one　of　that　name。〃

〃Don't　tell　me！　Why　it　was　he　sent　me　here　told　me　where　you　lived；　and　I　was　to　make　haste；　for　Miss　Dodd　was　very　ill：　it　is　young　Hardie；　the　banker's　son；　ye　know。〃

Mrs。　Dodd　said　good…humouredly；　but　with　a　very　slight　touch　of　irony；　that　really　they　were　very　much　flattered　by　the　interest　Mr。　Alfred　Hardie　had　shown；　especially　as　her　daughter　had　never　exchanged　ten　words　with　him。　Julia　coloured　at　this　statement；　the　accuracy　of　which　she　had　good　reason　to　doubt；　and　the　poor　girl　felt　as　if　an　icicle　passed　swiftly　along　her　back。　And　then；　for　the　first　the　in　her　life；　she　thought　her　mother　hardly　gracious；　and　she　wanted　to　say　_she_　was　obliged　to　Mr。　Alfred　Hardie；　but　dared　not；　and　despised　herself　for　not　daring。　Her　composure　was　further　attacked　by　Mrs。　Dodd　looking　full　at　her；　and　saying　interrogatively；　〃I　wonder　how　that　young　gentleman　could　know　about　your　being　ill　？〃

At　this　Julia　eyed　her　plate　very　attentively；　and　murmured；　〃I　believe　it　is　all　over　the　town：　and　seriously　too；　so　Mrs。　Maxley　says；　for　she　tells　me　that　in　Barkington　if　more　than　one　doctor　is　sent　for；　that　bodes　ill　for　the　patient。〃

〃Deevelich　ill；〃　cried　Sampson　heartily。

　　　　　〃For　two　physicians；　like　a　pair　of　oars；　　　　　　Conduck　him　faster　to　the　Styjjin　shores。〃*

*　Garth。

Julia　looked　him　in　the　face；　and　coldly　ignored　this　perversion　of　Mrs。　Maxley's　meaning；　and　Mrs。　Dodd　returned　pertinaciously　to　the　previous　topic。　〃Mr。　Alfred　Hardie　interests　me；　he　was　good　to　Edward。　I　am　curious　to　know　why　you　call　him　a　puppy？〃

〃Only　because　he　is　one；　ma'am。　And　that　is　no　reason　at　all　with　'the　Six。'　He　is　a　juveneel　pidant　and　a　puppy；　and　contradicts　ivery　new　truth；　bekase　it　isn't　in　Aristotle　and　th'　Eton　Grammar；　and　he's　such　a　chatterbox；　ye　can't　get　in　a　word　idgeways；　and　he　and　his　sisterthat's　my　virgin　martyrare　a　farce。　_He_　keeps　sneerin'　at　her　relijjin；　and　that　puts　_her_　in　such　a　rage；　she　threatens　't'　intercede　for　him　at　the　throne。〃

〃Jargon；〃　sighed　Mrs。　Dodd；　and　just　shrugged　her　lovely　shoulders。　〃We　breathe　itwe　float　in　an　atmosphere　of　it。　My　love？〃　And　she　floated　out　of　the　room；　and　Julia　floated　after。

Sampson　sat　meditating　on　the　gullibility　of　man　in　matters　medical。　This　favourite　speculation　detained　him　late；　and　almost　his　first　word　on　entering　the　drawing…room　was；　〃Good　night；　little　girl。〃

Julia　coloured　at　this　broad　hint；　drew　herself　up；　and　lighted　a　bedcandle。　She　went　to　Mrs。　Dodd；　kissed　her；　and　whispered　in　her　ear；　〃I　hate　him！〃　and；　as　she　retired；　her　whole　elegant　person　launched　ladylike　defiance；　under　which　brave　exterior　no　little　uneasiness　was　hidden。　〃Oh；　what　will　become　of　me！〃　thought　she；　〃if　_he_　has　gone　and　told　him　about　Henley？〃


〃Let's　see　the　prescriptions；　ma'am；〃　said　Dr。　Sampson。

Delighted　at　this　concession；　Mrs。　Dodd　took　them　out　of　her　desk　and　spread　them　earnestly。　He　ran　his　eye　over　them；　and　pointed　out　that　the　mucous…membrane　man　and　the　nerve　man　had　prescribed　the　same　medicine；　on　irreconcilable　grounds；　and　a　medicine；　moreover；　whose　effect　on　the　nerves　was　_nil；_　and　on　the　mucous　membrane　was　not　to　soothe　it；　but　plough　it　and　harrow　it；　〃and　did　not　that　open　her　eyes？〃　He　then　reminded　her　that　all　these　doctors　in　consultation　would　have　contrived　to　agree。　〃But　you；〃　said　he；　〃have　baffled　the　collusive　hoax　by　which　Dox　arrived　at　a　sham　uniformityhonest　uniformity　can　never　exist　till　scientific　principles　obtain。　Listme！　To　begin；　is　the　pashint　in　love？〃

The　doctor　put　this　query　in　just　the　same　tone　in　which　they　inquire　〃Any　expectoration？〃　But　Mrs。　Dodd；　in　reply；　was　less　dry　and　business…like。　She　started　and　looked　aghast。　This　possibility　had　once；　for　a　moment；　occurred　to　her；　but　only　to　be　rejected；　the　evidence　being　all　against　it。

〃In　love？〃　said　she。　〃That　child；　and　I　not　know　it！〃

He　said　he　had　never　supposed　that。　〃But　I　thought　I'd　just　ask　ye；　for　she　has　no　bodily　ailment；　and　the　passions　are　all　counterfeit　diseases；　they　are　connected；　like　all　diseases；　with　cerebral　instability；　have　their　hearts　and　chills　like　all　diseases；　and　their　paroxysms　and　remissions　like　all　diseases。　Nlistme！　You　have　detected　the　signs　of　a　slight　cerebral　instability；　I　have　ascertained　th'　absence　of　all　physical　cause：　then　why　make　this　healthy　pashint's　buddy　a　test…tube　for　poisons？　Sovereign　drugs　（I　deal　with　no　other；　I　leave　the　nullities　to　the　noodles）　are　either　counterpoisons　or　poisons；　and　here　there　is　nothing　to　counterpoison　at　prisent。　So　I'm　for　caushin；　and　working　on　the　safe　side　th'　hidge；　till　we　are　less　in　the　dark。　Mind　ye；　young　women　at　her　age　are　kittle　cattle；　they　have　gusts　o'　this；　and　gusts　o'　that；　th'　unreasonable　imps。　D'ye　see　these　two　pieces　pasteboard？　They　are　tickets　for　a　ball；

　　　　　In　Barkton　town…hall。〃

〃Yes；　of　course　I　see　them；〃　said　Mrs。　Dodd　dolefully。

〃Well；　I　prescribe　'em。　And　when　they　have　been　taken；

　　　　　And　the　pashint　well　shaken；

perhaps　we　shall　see　whether　we　are　on　the　right　system：　and　if　so；　we'll　dose　her　with　youthful　society　in　a　more　irrashinal　form；　conversaziones；　cookeyshines；　et　citera。　And　if　we　find　ourselves　on　the　wrong　_tack_　why　then　we'll　hark　_back。_

　　　　　Stick　blindly　to　'a　course；'　the　Dockers　cry。　　　　　　But　it　does　me　harm：　_Then_　'twill　do　good　_by…and…bye。_　　　　　　Where　lairned　ye　that；　Echoes　of　Echoes；　say！　　　　　　The　killer　ploughs　'a　course；'　the　healer　_'feels　his　way。'_〃

So　mysterious　are　the　operations　of　the　human　mind；　that；　when　we　have　exploded　in　verse　tuneful　as　the　above；　we　lapse　into　triumph　instead　of　penitence。　Not　that　doggrel　meets　with　reverence　here　belowthe　statues　to　it　are　few；　and　not　in　marble；　but　in　the　material　itselfBut　then　an　Impromptu！　A　moment　ago　our　Posy　was　not：　and　now　is；　with　the　speed；　if　not　the　brilliancy；　of　lightning；　we　have　added　a　handful　to　the　intellectual　dust…heap　of　an　oppressed　nation。　From　this　bad　eminence　Sampson　then　looked　down　complacently；　and　saw　Mrs。　Dodd's　face　as　long　as　his　arm。　She　was　one　that　held　current　opinions；　and　the　world　does　not　believe　Poetry　can　sing　the　Practical。　Verse　and　useful　knowledge　pass　for　incompatibles；　and；　though　Doggrel　is　not　Poetry；　yet　it　has　a　lumbering　proclivity　that　way；　and　so　forfeits　the　confidence　of　grave　sensible　people。　This　versification；　and　this　impalpable　and　unprecedented　prescription　she　had　waited　for　so　long；　seemed　all　of　a　piece　to　poor　mamma：　wild；　unpractical；　and〃oh；　horror！　horror！〃eccentric。

Sampson　read　her　sorrowful　face　after　h