hard cash-第76章

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e　comfort　of　the　lodgers。

On　the　eighth　day　Alfred　succeeded　at　last　in　an　object　he　had　steadily　pursued　for　some　time：　he　caught　the　two　see…saw　humbugs　together。

〃Now；〃　said　he；　_〃you_　say　_he_　intercepts　my　letters；　and　_he_　says　it　is　_you_　who　do　it。　Which　is　the　truth？〃

They　were　staggered；　and　he　followed　up　his　advantage：　〃Look　me　in　the　face；　gentlemen；〃　said　he。　〃Can　you　pretend　you　do　not　know　I　am　sane？　Ah；　you　turn　your　heads　away。　You　can　only　tell　this　bare…faced　lie　behind　my　back。　Do　you　believe　in　God；　and　in　a　judgment　to　come？　Then；　if　you　cannot　release　me；　at　least　don't　be　such　scoundrels　as　to　stop　my　letters；　and　so　swindle　me　out　of　a　fair　trial；　an　open；　public　trial。〃

The　doctor　parried　with　a　formula。　〃Publicity　would　be　the　greatest　misfortune　could　befall　you。　Pray　be　calm。〃

Now；　an　asylum　is　a　place　not　entirely　exempt　from　prejudices：　and　one　of　them　is；　that　any　sort　of　appeal　to　God　Almighty　is　a　sign　or　else　forerunner　of　maniacal　excitement。

These　philosophers　forget　that　by　stopping　letters；　evading　public　trials；　and；　in　a　word；　cutting　off　all　appeals　to　human　justice；　they　compel　the　patient　to　turn　his　despairing　eyes；　and　lift　his　despairing　voice　to　Him；　whose　eye　alone　can　ever　really　penetrate　these　dark　abodes。

However；　the　patient　who　appealed　to　God　above　a　whisper　in　Silverton　Grove　House　used　to　get　soothed　directly。　And　the　tranquillising　influences　employed　were　morphia；　croton　oil；　or　a　blister。

The　keeper　came　to　Alfred　in　his　room。　〃Doctor　has　ordered　a　blister。〃

〃What　for？　Send　for　him　directly。〃

〃He　is　gone。〃

This　way　of　ordering　torture；　and　then　coolly　going；　irritated　Alfred　beyond　endurance。　Though　he　knew　he　should　soon　be　powerless；　he　showed　fight；　made　his　mark　as　usual　on　a　couple　of　his　zealous　attendants；　but　not　having　room　to　work　in　was　soon　overpowered；　hobbled；　and　handcuffed：　then　they　cut　off　his　hair；　and　put　a　large　blister　on　the　top　of　his　head。


The　obstinate　brute　declined　to　go　mad。　They　began　to　respect　him　for　this　tenacity　of　purpose：　a　decent　bedroom　was　allotted　him；　his　portmanteau　and　bag　were　brought　him；　and　he　was　let　walk　every　day　on　the　lawn　with　a　keeper；　only　there　were　no　ladders　left　about；　and　the　trap…door　was　locked；　_i。e。_　the　iron　gate。

On　one　of　these　occasions　he　heard　the　gatekeeper　whistle　three　times　consecutively；　his　attendant　followed　suit；　and　hurried　Alfred　into　the　house；　which　soon　rang　with　treble　signals。

〃What　is　it？〃　inquired　Alfred。

〃The　visiting　justices　are　in　sight：　go　into　your　room；　please。〃

〃Yes；　I'll　go；〃　said　Alfred；　affecting　cheerful　compliance；　and　the　man　ran　off。

The　whole　house　was　in　a　furious　bustle。　All　the　hobbles；　and　chains；　and　instruments　of　restraint　were　hastily　collected　and　bundled　out　of　sight；　and　clean　sheets　were　being　put　on　many　a　filthy　bed　whose　occupant　had　never　slept　in　sheets　since　he　came　there；　when　two　justices　arrived　and　were　shown　into　the　drawing…room。

During　the　few　minutes　they　were　detained　there　by　Mrs。　Archbold；　who　was　mistress　of　her　whole　business；　quite　a　new　face　was　put　on　everything　and　everybody；　ancient　cobwebs　fell；　soap　and　water　explored　unwonted　territories：　the　harshest　attendants　began　practising　pleasant　looks　and　kind　words　on　the　patients；　to　get　into　the　way　of　it；　so　that　it　might　not　come　too　abrupt　and　startle　the　patients　visibly　under　the　visitors'　eyes：　something　like　actors　working　up　a　factitious　sentiment　at　the　wing　for　the　public　display；　or　like　a　racehorse's　preliminary　canter。　Alfred's　heart　beat　with　joy　inexpressible。　He　had　only　to　keep　calm；　and　this　was　his　last　day　at　Silverton　Grove。　The　first　thing　he　did　was　to　make　a　careful　toilet。

The　stinginess　of　relations；　and　the　greed　of　madhouse　proprietors；　make　many　a　patient　look　ten　times　madder　than　he　is；　by　means　of　dress。　Clothes　wear　out　in　an　asylum；　and　are　not　always　taken　off；　though　Agriculture　has　long　and　justly　claimed　them　for　her　own。　And　when　it　is　no　longer　possible　to　refuse　the　Reverend　Mad　Tom　or　Mrs。　Crazy　Jane　some　new　raiment；　then　consanguineous　munificence　does　not　go　to　Pool　or　Elise；　but　oftener　to　paternal　or　maternal　wardrobes；　and　even　to　the　ancestral　chest；　the　old　oak　one；　singing：

〃Poor　things；　they　are　out　of　the　world：　what　need　for　them　to　be　in　the　fashion！〃　（Formula。）

This　arrangement　keeps　the　bump　of　self…esteem　down；　especially　in　women；　and　so　co…operates　with　many　other　little　arrangements　to　perpetuate　the　lodger。

Silverton　Grove　in　particular　was　supplied　with　the　grotesque　in　dress　from　an　inexhaustible　source。　Whenever　money　was　sent　Baker　to　buy　a　patient　a　suit；　he　went　from　his　lunacy　shop　to　his　pawnbroker's；　dived　headlong　into　unredeemed　pledges；　dressed　his　patient　as　gentlemen　are　dressed　to　reside　in　cherry…trees；　and　pocketed　five　hundred　per　cent。　on　the　double　transaction。　Now　Alfred　had　already　observed　that　many　of　the　patients　looked　madder　than　they　werethanks　to　short　trousers　and　petticoats；　holey　gloves；　ear…cutting　shirt…collars；　frilled　bosoms；　shoes　made　for　and　declined　by　the　very　infantry：　coats　short　in　the　waist　and　long　in　the　sleeves；　coalscuttle　bonnets；　and　grand…maternal　caps。　So　he　made　his　toilet　with　care；　and　put　his　best　hat　on　to　hide　his　shaven　crown。　He　then　kept　his　door　ajar；　and　waited　for　a　chance　of　speaking　to　the　justices。　One　soon　came：　a　portly　old　gentleman；　with　a　rubicund　face　and　honest　eye；　walked　slowly　along　the　corridor；　looking　as　wise　as　he　could；　cringed　on　by　Cooper　and　Dr。　Bailey；　the　latter　had　arrived　post　haste；　and　Baker　had　been　sent　for。　Alfred　came　out；　touched　his　hat　respectfully；　and　begged　a　private　interview　with　the　magistrate。　The　old　gentleman　bowed　politely；　for　Alfred's　dress；　address；　and　countenance；　left　no　suspicion　of　insanity　possible　in　an　unprejudiced　mind。

But　the　doctor　whispered　in　his　ear；　〃Take　care；　sir。　Dangerous！〃

Now　this　is　one　of　the　most　effective　of　the　formulae　in　a　private　asylum。　How　can　an　inexperienced　stranger　know　for　certain　that　such　a　statement　is　a　falsehood？　And　even　the　just　do　not　love　justice_to　others_quite　so　well　as　they　love　their　own　skins。　So　Squire　Tollett　very　naturally　declined　a　private　interview　with　Alfred；　and　even　drew　back　a　step；　and　felt　uneasy　at　being　so　near　him。　Alfred　implored　him　not　to　be　imposed　upon。　〃An　honest　man　does　not　whisper；〃　said　he。　〃Do　not　let　him　poison　your　mind　against　me；　on　my　honour；　I　am　as　sane　as　you　are；　and　he　knows　it。　Pray；　pray　use　your　own　eyes　and　ears；　sir；　and　give　yourself　a　chance　of　discovering　the　truth　in　this　stronghold　of　lies。〃

〃Don't　excite　yourself；　Mr。　Hardie；〃　put　in　the　doctor　parentally。　（Formula。）

〃Don't　you　interrupt　me；　doctor；　I　am　as　calm　as　you　are。　Calmer；　for；　see；　you　are　pale　at　this　moment；　that　is　with　fear　that　your　wickedness　in　detaining　a　sane　man　here　is　going　to　be　exposed。　Oh；　sir；〃　said　he；　turning　to　the　justice；　〃fear　no　violence　from　me；　not　even　angry　words；　my　misery　is　too　deep　for　irritation；　or　excitement。　I　am　an　Oxford　man；　sir；　a　prize　man；　an　Ireland　scholar。　But；　unfortunately　for　me；　my　mother　left　me　ten　thousand　pounds；　and　a　heart。　I　love　a　lady　whose　name　I　will　not　pollute　by　mentioning　it　in　this　den　of　thieves。　My　father　is　the　well…known　banker；　bankrupt；　and　cheat；　of　Barkington。　He　has　wasted　his　own　money；　and　now　covets　his　neighbour's　and　his　son's。　He　had　me　entrapped　here　on　my　wedding…day；　to　get　hold　of　my　money；　and　rob　me　of　her　I　love。　I　appeal　to　you；　sir；　to　discharge　me；　or；　if　you　have　not　so　much　confidence　in　your　own　judgment　as　to　do　that；　then　I　demand　a　commission　of　lunacy；　and　a　public　inquiry。〃

Dr。　Bailey　said；　〃That　would　be　a　most　undesirable　exposure；　both　to　yourself　and　your　friends。〃　（Formula。）

〃It　is　only　the　guilty　who　fear　the　light；　sir；〃　was　the　prompt　reply。

Mr。　Tollett　said　he　thought　the　patient　had　a　legal　right　to　a　commission　of　lunacy　if　there　was　property；　and　he　took　note　of　the　application。　He　then　asked　Alfred　if　he　had　any　complaint　to　make　of　the　food；　the　beds；　or　the　attendants。

〃Sir；〃　said　Alfred；　〃I　leave　those　complaints　to　the　insane　ones：　with　me　the　gigantic　wrong　drives　out　the　petty　worries。　I　cannot　feel　my　stings　for　my　deep　wound。〃

〃Oh；　then；　you　admit　you　are　not　treated　_unkindly_　here？〃

I　admit　nothing　of　the　kind；　sir。　I　merely　decline　to　encumber　your　memory　with　petty　injuries；　when　you　are　good　enough　to　inquire　into　a　monstrous　one。〃

〃Now　that　is　very　sensible　and　considerate；〃　said　Mr。　Tollett。　〃　I　will　see　you；　sir；　again　before　we　leave。〃

With　this　promise　Alfred　was　obliged　to　be　content。　He　retired　respectfully；　and　the　justice　said；　〃He　seems　as　sane　as　I　am。〃　The　doctor　smiled。　The　justice　observed　it；　and　not　aware　that　this　smile　was　a　formula；　as　much　so　as　a　prizefighter's　or　a　ballet…dancer's；　began　to　doubt　a　little：　He　reflected　a　moment；　then　asked　who　had　signed　the　certificates。

〃Dr。　Wycherley　for　one。〃

〃Dr。　Wycherley？　that　is　a　great　authority。〃

〃One　of　the　greatest　in　the　country；　sir。〃

〃Oh；　then　one　would　think　he　must　be　more　or　less　deranged。〃

〃Dangerously　so　at　times。　But　in　his　lucid　intervals　you　never　saw　a　more　quiet　gentlemanly　creature。〃　（Formula。）

〃How　sad！〃

〃Very。　He　is　my　most　interesting　patient　（formula）；　though　terribly　violent　at　times。　Would　you　like　to　see　the　medical　journal　about　him？〃

〃Yes；　by…and…bye。〃

The　inspection　then　continued：　the　inspector　admired　the　clean　sheets　that　covered　the　beds；　all　of　them　dirty；　some　filthy：　and　asked　the　more　reasonable　patients　to　speak　freely　and　say　if　they　had　any　complaint　to　make。　This　question　being；　with　the　usual　sagacity　of　public　inspectors；　put　in　the　presence　of　Cooper　and　the　doctor；　who　stuck　to　Tollett　like　wax；　the　mad　people　all　declared　they　were　very　kindly　treated。　The　reason　they　were　so　unanimous　was　this：　they　knew　by　experience　that；　if　they　told　the　truth；　the　justices　could　not　at　once　remedy　their　discomforts；　whereas　the　keepers；　the　very　moment　the　justices　left　the　house；　would　knock　them　down；　beat　them；　shake　them；　strait…jacket　them；　and　starve　them：　and　the　doctor；　less　merciful；　would　doctor　them。　So　they　shook　in　their　shoes；　and　vowed　they　were　very　comfortable　in　Silverton　Grove。

Thus；　in　later　days；　certain　Commissioners　of　Lunacy　inspecting　Accomb　House；　extracted　nothing　from　Mrs。　Turner；　but　that　she　was　happy　and　comfortable　under　the　benignant　sway　of　Metcalf　the　mildthere　present。　It　was　only　by　a　miracle　the　public　learned　the　truth；　and　miracles　are　rare。

Meantime；　Alfred　had　a　misgiving。　The　plausible　doctor　had　now　Squire　Tollett's　ear；　and　Tollett　was　old；　and　something　about　him　reminded　the　Oxonian　of　a　trait　his　friend　Horace　had　detected　in　old　age：

　　　　〃Vel　quod　res　omnes　timide　gelide　que　ministrat。　　　　　　Dilator；　spe　longus；　iners；〃　&c。

He　knew　there　was　another　justice　in　the　house；　but　he　knew　also　he　should　not　be　allowed　to　get　speech　with　him；　if　by　cunning　or　force　it　could　be　prevented。　He　kept　his　door　ajar。　Presently　Nurse　Hannah　came　bustling　along　with　an　apronful　of　things；　and　let　herself　into　a　vacant　room　hard　by。　This　Hannah　was　a　young　woman　with　a　pretty　and　rathe