tp.lightfantastic-第21章

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dy　horshe　ran　off　with　my　linament！'
　Rincewind　remembered　something；　and　fumbled　in　the　depths　of　his　torn　and　now　very　grubby　robe。　He　held　up　a　green　bottle。
　'That'sh　the　shtuff！'　said　Cohen。　'You're　a　marvel。'　He　ooked　sideways　at　Twoflower。
　'I　would　have　beaten　it；'　he　said　quietly；　'even　if　you　hadn't　called　it　off；　I　would　have　beaten　it　in　the　end。'
　'That's　right；'　said　Bethan。
　'You　two　can　make　yourshelf　usheful；'　he　added。　That　Luggage　broke　through　a　troll　tooth　to　get　ush　out。　That　wash　diamond。　Shee　if　you　can　find　the　bitsh。　I've　had　an　idea　about　them。'
　As　Bethan　rolled　up　her　sleeves　and　uncorked　the　bottle　Rincewind　took　Twoflower　to　one　side。　When　they　were　safely　hidden　behind　a　shrub　he　said；　'He's　gone　barmy。'
　'That's　Cohen　the　Barbarian　you're　talking　about！'　said　Twoflower；　genuinely　shocked。　'He　is　the　greatest　warrior　that　…'
　'Was；'　said　Rincewind　urgently。　'All　that　stuff　with　the　warrior　priests　and　man…eating　zombies　was　years　ago。　All　he's　got　now　is　memories　and　so　many　scars　you　could　play　noughts…and…crosses　on　him。'
　'He　is　rather　more　elderly　than　I　imagined；　yes；'　said　Twoflower。　He　picked　up　a　fragment　of　diamond。
　'So　we　ought　to　leave　them　and　find　our　horses　and　move　on；'　said　Rincewind。
　'That's　a　bit　of　a　mean　trick；　isn't　it？'
　'They'll　be　all　right；'　said　Rincewind　heartily。　'The　point　is；　would　you　feel　happy　in　the　pany　of　someone　who　would　attack　the　Luggage　with　his　bare　hands？'
　'That　is　a　point；'　said　Twoflower。
　'They'll　probably　be　better　off　without　us　anyway。'
　'Are　you　sure？'
　'Positive；'　said　Rincewind。
　

　They　found　the　horses　wandering　aimlessly　in　the　scrub；　breakfasted　on　badly…dried　horse　jerky；　and　set　off　in　what　Rincewind　believed　was　the　right　direction。　A　few　minutes　later　the　Luggage　emerged　from　the　bushes　and　followed　them。
　The　sun　rose　higher　in　the　sky；　but　still　failed　to　blot　out　the　light　of　the　star。
　'It's　got　bigger　overnight；'　said　Twoflower。　'Why　isn't　anybody　doing　something？'
　'Such　as　what？'
　Twoflower　thought。　'Couldn't　somebody　tell　Great　A'Tuin　to　avoid　it？'　he　said。　'Sort　of　go　around　it？'
　'That　sort　of　thing　has　been　tried　before；'　said　Rincewind。　Wizards　tried　to　tune　in　to　Great　A'Tuin's　mind。'
　'It　didn't　work？'
　'Oh；　it　worked　all　right；'　said　Rincewind。　'Only　。　。　。'
　Only　there　had　been　certain　unforeseen　risks　in　reading　a　mind　as　great　as　the　World　Turtle's；　he　explained。　The　wizards　had　trained　up　on　tortoises　and　giant　sea　turtles　first；　to　get　the　hang　of　the　chelonian　frame　of　mind；　but　although　they　knew　that　Great　A'Tuin's　mind　would　be　big　they　hadn't　realised　that　it　would　be　slow。
　'There's　a　bunch　of　wizards　that　have　been　reading　it　in　shifts　for　thirty　years；'　said　Rincewind。　'All　they've　found　out　is　that　Great　A'Tuin　is　looking　forward　to　something。'
　'What？'
　'Who　knows？'
　They　rode　in　silence　for　a　while　through　a　rough　country　where　huge　limestone　blocks　lined　the　track。　Eventually　Twoflower　said；　'We　ought　to　go　back；　you　know。'
　'Look；　we'll　reach　the　Smarl　tomorrow；'　said　Rincewind。　'Nothing　will　happen　to　them　out　here；　I　don't　see　why　…'
　He　was　talking　to　himself。　Twoflower　had　wheeled　his　horse　and　was　trotting　back；　demonstrating　all　the　horsemanship　of　a　sack　of　potatoes。
　Rincewind　looked　down。　The　Luggage　regarded　him　owlishly。
　'What　are　you　looking　at？'　said　the　wizard。　'He　can　go　back　if　he　wants；　why　should　I　bother？'
　The　Luggage　said　nothing。
　'Look；　he's　not　my　responsibility；'　said　Rincewind。　let's　be　absolutely　clear　about　that。'
　The　Luggage　said　nothing；　but　louder　this　time。
　'Go　on　…　follow　him。　You're　nothing　to　do　with　me。'
　The　Luggage　retracted　its　little　legs　and　settled　down　on　the　track。
　'Well；　I'm　going；'　said　Rincewind。　'I　mean　it；'　he　added。
　He　turned　the　horse's　head　back　towards　the　new　horizon；　and　glanced　down。　The　Luggage　sat　there。
　'It's　no　good　trying　to　appeal　to　my　better　nature。　You　can　stay　there　all　day　for　all　I　care。　I'm　just　going　to　ride　off；　okay？'
　He　glared　at　the　Luggage。　The　Luggage　looked　back。
　

　'I　thought　you'd　e　back；'　said　Twoflower。
　'I　don't　want　to　talk　about　it；'　said　Rincewind。
　'Shall　we　talk　about　something　else？'
　'Yeah；　well；　discussing　how　to　get　these　ropes　off　would　be　favourite；'　said　Rincewind。　He　wrenched　at　the　bonds　around　his　wrists。
　'I　can't　imagine　why　you're　so　important；'　said　Herrena。　She　sat　on　a　rock　opposite　them；　sword　across　her　knees。　Most　of　the　gang　laying　among　the　rocks　high　above；　watching　the　road。　Rincewind　and　Twoflower　had　been　a　pathetically　easy　ambush。
　'Weems　told　me　what　your　box　did　to　Gancia；'　she　added。　'I　can't　say　that's　a　great　loss；　but　I　hope　it　understands　that　if　it　es　within　a　mile　of　us　I　will　personally　cut　both　your　throats；　yes？'
　Rincewind　nodded　violently。
　'Good；'　said　Herrena。　'You're　wanted　dead　or　alive；　I'm　not　really　bothered　which；　but　some　of　the　lads　might　want　to　have　a　little　discussion　with　you　about　those　trolls。　If　the　sun　hadn't　e　up　when　it　did…'
　She　left　the　words　hanging；　and　walked　away。
　'Well；　here's　another　fine　mess；'　said　Rincewind。　He　had　another　pull　at　the　ropes　that　bound　him。　There　was　a　rock　behind　him；　and　if　he　could　bring　his　wrists　up　…　yes；　as　he　thought；　it　lacerated　him　while　at　the　same　time　eing　too　blunt　to　have　any　effect　on　the　rope。
　'But　why　us？'　said　Twoflower。　'It's　to　do　with　that　star；　isn't　it？'
　'I　don't　know　anything　about　the　star；'　said　Rincewind。　'I　never　even　attended　astrology　lessons　at　the　University！'
　'I　expect　everything　will　turn　out　all　right　in　the　end；'　said　Twoflower。
　Rincewind　looked　at　him。　Remarks　like　that　always　threw　him。
　'Do　you　really　believe　that？'　he　said。　'I　mean；　really？'
　'Well；　things　generally　do　work　out　satisfactorily；　when　you　e　to　think　about　it。'
　'If　you　think　the　total　disruption　of　my　life　for　the　last　year　is　satisfactory　then　you　might　be　right。　I've　lost　count　of　the　times　I've　nearly　been　killed　…'
　'Twenty…seven；'　said　Twoflower。
　'What？'
　'Twenty…seven　times；'　said　Twoflower　helpfully。　'I　worked　it　out。　But　you　never　actually　have。'
　'What？　Worked　it　out？'　said　Rincewind；　who　was　beginning　to　have　the　familiar　feeling　that　the　conversation　had　been　mugged。
　'No。　Been　killed。　Doesn't　that　seem　a　bit　suspicious？'
　'I've　never　objected　to　it；　if　that's　what　you　mean；'　said　Rincewind。　He　glared　at　his　feet。　Twoflower　was　right；　of　course。　The　Spell　was　keeping　him　alive；　it　was　obvious。　No　doubt　if　he　jumped　over　a　cliff　a　passing　cloud　would　cushion　his　fall。
　The　trouble　with　that　theory；　he　decided；　was　that　it　only　worked　if　he　didn't　believe　it　was　true。　The　moment　he　thought　he　was　invulnerable　he'd　be　dead。
　So；　on　the　whole　it　was　wisest　not　to　think　about　it　at　all。
　Anyway；　he　might　be　wrong。
　The　only　thing　he　could　be　certain　of　was　that　he　was　getting　a　headache。　He　hoped　that　the　Spell　was　somewhere　in　the　area　of　the　headache　and　really　suffering。
　When　they　rode　out　of　the　hollow　both　Rincewind　and　Twoflower　were　sharing　a　horse　with　one　of　their　captors。
　Rincewind　perched　unfortably　in　front　of　Weems。　who　had　sprained　an　ankle　and　was　not　in　a　good　mood。　Twoflower　sat　in　front　of　Herrena　which；　since　he　was　fairly　short；　meant　that　at　least　he　kept　his　ears　warm。　She　rode　with　a　drawn　knife　and　a　sharp　eye　out　for　any…walking　boxes；　Herrena　hadn't　quite　worked　out　what　the　Luggage　was；　but　she　was　bright　enough　to　know　that　it　wouldn't　let　Twoflower　be　killed。
　After　about　ten　minutes　they　saw　it　in　the　middle　of　the　road。　It's　lid　lay　open　invitingly。　It　was　full　of　gold。
　'Go　round　it；'　said　Herrena。
　'But　…'
　'It's　a　trap。'
　'That's　right；'　said　Weems；　white…faced。　'You　take　it　from　me。'
　Reluctantly　they　reined　their　horses　around　the　glittering　temptation　and　trotted　on　along　the　track。　Weems　glanced　back　fearfully；　dreading　to　see　the　chest　ing　after　him。
　What　he　saw　was　almost　worse。　It　had　gone。
　Far　off　to　one　side　of　the　path　the　long　grass　moved　mysteriously　and　was　still。
　Rincewind　wasn't　much　of　a　wizard　and　even　less　of　a　fighter；　but　he　was　an　expert　at　cowardice　and　he　knew　fear　when　he　smelt　it。　He　said；　quietly；　'It'll　follow　you；　you　know。'
　'What？'　said　Weems；　distractedly。　He　was　still　peering　at　the　grass。
　'It's　very　patient　and　it　never　gives　up。　That's　sapient　pearwood　you're　dealing　with。　It'll　let　you　think　it's　forgotten　you；　then　one　day　you'll　be　walking　along　a　dark　street　and　you'll　hear　these　little　footsteps　behind　you　…　shlup；　shlup；　they'll　go；　then　you'll　start　running　and　they'll　speed　up；　shlupshlupSHLUP…'
　'Shut　up！'　shouted　Weems。
　'It's　probably　already　recognised　you；　so　…'
　'I　said　shut　up！'
　Herrena　turned　around　in　her　saddle　and　glared　at　them。　Weems　scowled　and　pulled　Rincewind's　ear　until　it　was　ight　in　front　his　mouth；　and　said　hoarsely；　I'm　afraid　of　nothing；　understand？　This　wizard　stuff；　I　spit　on　it。'
　'They　all　say　that　until　they　hear　the　footsteps；'　said　Rincewind。　He　stopped。　A　knifepoint　was　pricking　his　ribs。
　

　Nothing　happened　for　the　rest　of　the　day　but；　to　Rincewind's　satisfaction　and　Weems'　mounting　paranoia；　the　Luggage　showed　itself　several　times。　Here　it　would　be　perched　incongruously　on　a　crag；　there　it　would　be　half…hidden　in　a　ditch　with　moss　growing　over　it。
　By　late　afternoon　they　came　to　the　crest　of　a　hill　and　looked　down　on　the　broad　valley　of　the　upper　Smarl；　the　longest　river　on　the　Disc。　It　was　already　half　a　mile　across；　and　heavy　with　the　silt　that　made　the　lower　valley　the　most　fertile　area　on　the　continent。　A　few　wisps　of　early　mist　wreathed　its　banks。
　'Shlup；'　said　Rincewind。　He　felt　Weems　jerk　upright　in　the　saddle。
　'Eh？'
　'Just　clearing　my　throat；'　said　Rincewind；　and　grinned。　He　had　put　a　lot　of　thought　into　that　grin。　It　was　the　sort　of　grin　people　use　when　they　stare　at　your　left　ear　and　tell　you　in　an　urgent　tone　of　voice　that　they　are　being　spied　on　by　secret　agents　from　the　next　galaxy。　It　was　not　a　grin　to　inspire　confidence。　More　horrible　grins　had　probably　been　seen；　but　only　on　the　sort　of　grinner　that　is　orange　with　black　stripes；　has　a　long　tail　and　hangs　around　in　jungles　looking　for　victims　to　grin　at。
　'Wipe　that　off；'　said　Herrena；　trotting　up。
　Where　the　track　led　down　to　the　river　bank　there　was　a　crude　jetty　and　a　big　bronze　gong。
　'It'll　summon　the　ferryman；'　said　Herrena。　'If　we　cross　here　we　can　cut　off　a　big　bend　in　the　river。　Might　even　make　it　to　a　town　tonight。'
　Weems　looked　doubtful。　The　sun　was　getting　fat　and　red；　and　the　mists　were　beginning　to　thicken。
　'Or　maybe　you　want　to　spend　the　night　this　side　of　the　water？'
　Weems　picked　up　the　hammer　and　hit　the　gong　so　hard　that　it　spun　right　around　on　its　hanger　and　fell　off。
　They　waited　in　silence。　Then　with　a　wet　clinking　sound　a　chain　sprang　out　of　the　water　and　pulled　taut　against　an　iron　peg　set　into　the　bank。　Eventually　the　slow　flat　shape　of　the　ferry　emerged　from　the　mist；　its　hooded　ferryman　heaving　on　a　big　wheel　set　in　its　centre　as　he　winched　his　way　towards　the　shore。
　The　ferry's　flat　bottom　grated　on　the　gravel；　and　the　hooded　figure　leaned　against　the　wheel　panting。
　'Two　at　a　time；'　it　muttered。'　That'sh　a