pzb.drawingblood-第50章

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mirror…image　maps　of　the　palms；　the　pencil…calluses；　the　intricate　whorls　of　the　fingertips。　He　took　a　finger　into　his　mouth　and　sucked　softly；　heard　Trevor's　breath　catch。
　　〃Your　tongue　feels　like　velvet。〃
　　〃Your　hands　taste　like　seawater。〃
　　Zach　kissed　the　fold　of　Trevor's　left　wrist；　then　ran　his　tongue　along　the　forearm　and　into　the　soft　hollow　of　the　elbow。　Trevor　sighed　。and　relaxed　a　little；　though　his　pulse　still　beat　like　a　frightened　bird　against　Zach's　tongue。　The　veins　of　the　inner　elbow：　the　junkie　veins；　the　veins　to　sever　if　you　wanted　to　bleed　to　death。
　　Zach　slid　his　mouth　down　Trevor's　arm　and　kissed　the　raised　white　lines　of　his　scars。　He　had　hesitated　to　do　this　before；　unsure　if　Trevor　would　mind。　Now　the　scars'　rippled　texture　was　so　appealing　that　he　couldn't　help　himself。　Zach　imagined　the　razor　going　through　Trevor's　flesh　smooth　as　butter；　Trevor's　icy　eyes　screaming　out　of　his　impassive　face　as　he　watched　the　blood　well　up。
　　Trevor　made　a　soft　moaning　sound　deep　in　his　throat。　Zach　sucked　harder　at　the　tender　flesh；　and　the　scar　he　was　kissing　opened　against　his　tongue　like　a　torrid　kiss。　The　coppery　taste　of　fresh　blood　spilled　into　his　mouth。
　　Trevor　felt　a　silvery　stinging　sensation　in　his　arm；　then　another　and　another；　then　three　at　once；　a　deep　bone…shivering　pain。　He　raised　himself　on　his　right　elbow；　saw　the　old　cuts　on　his　left　arm　opening；　parting　like　little　red　mouths。　Zach　stared　up　at　him　in　confusion；　then　in　horror　as　he　realized　Trevor　was　seeing　the　blood　too。　Deep　wet　crimson　ringed　his　mouth　and　streaked　his　face；　shocking　against　the　whiteness　of　his　skin。
　　〃Trev？　What　。　。　。　？〃
　　Trevor　felt　weirdly　serene。　The　open　wounds　hurt　no　more　than　they　had　when　he'd　made　them。　It　was；　rather；　a　way　of　draining　off　pain。　He　remembered　the　feeling　so　well　now。　〃It's　nearly　here；〃　he　said。
　　〃What？〃
　　〃Birdland。〃
　　Zach's　pupils　were　enormous；　guttering。　His　mouth　hung　slightly　open。　Trevor　took　his　hands；　pulled　him　up　and　held　him；　smearing　Zach's　body　with　blood。　He　kissed　Zach's　sticky　lips。　〃Don't　be　scared。〃
　　〃But　。　。　。　aren't　you　bleeding？〃
　　〃Only　for　a　little　while。〃
　　〃Trevor！　Have　your　stigmata；　then；　goddammit；　but　don't　pull　this　mystical　shit　on　me！〃　Zach　pounded　the　mattress。　〃Don't　you　dare　die…if　you　die；　I　swear　to　God　I'll　e　after　you…I'll　hunt　you　down　and　haunt　your　damn　ghost…〃
　　〃I'm　not　dying。　e　here。　Hold　me。〃　He　wrapped　his　arms　tighter　around　Zach；　felt　the　blood　flowing　between　them；　trickling　down　Zach's　spine。　I　have　to　go；　he　thought。　You're　the　only　thing　that　will　bring　me　back。　But　that　would　just　frighten　Zach　worse；　so　he　didn't　say　it。
　　He　didn't　know　where　he　was　going；　or　even　how。　He　knew　it　would　be　Birdland；　the　true　Birdland　that　lay　paradoxically　far　beyond　the　house　and　deep　within　it。　But　Trevor　was　realizing　that　Birdland　wasn't　just　the　place　of　his　past；　the　place　in　his　childhood　where　he　had　found　his　talent；　his　dreams。　It　was　also　the　place　where　his　dreams　could　find　him；　and　some　of　them　were　very　bad。　It　was　a　place　of　scars；　and　of　wounds　that　had　never　healed。
　　〃Just　don't　leave　me　here；〃　Zach　murmured　against　his　chest。
　　〃I　promise。〃
　　Trevor　remembered　lying　in　bed　this　afternoon　imagining　Zach's　body　inextricably　linked　with　his；　remembered　his　fantasy　of　Zach's　flesh　flowing　over　him；　surrounding　him。　He　pressed　his　body　up　against　Zach's；　wrapped　his　legs　around　Zach's　skinny　hips。　〃I　want　you　to　fuck　me；〃　he　said。
　　〃Huh？　Now？〃
　　〃Yes。　Now。〃
　　Emotions　were　warring　in　Zach's　face：　confusion；　fear；　sorrow；　frustration；　arousal。　Trevor　felt　Zach's　penis　growing　cautiously　hard　against　the　back　of　his　thigh。　He　reached　down　and　cupped　Zach's　balls；　ran　his　hand　up　the　silky　shaft；　streaking　it　with　blood。　Zach　shuddered；　took　a　deep　breath。　〃Are　you　sure？〃
　　But　apparently　he　could　see　the　answer　in　Trevor's　face。　His　eyes　never　left　Trevor's　as　he　wet　his　hand　with　saliva　and　rubbed　it　up　and　down　his　penis；　then　lifted　Trevor's　knees　and　spread　his　legs　and　eased　in。　The　sensation　was　not　so　much　painful　as　pletely　alien。　Trevor　felt　his　asshole　trying　to　contract；　his　whole　body　trying　to　tense　up。　He　sought　Zach's　mouth　and　sucked　at　his　tongue。　He　would　have　this　boy　inside　him　any　and　every　way　he　could。　It　was　time。
　　Then　his　intestines　were　loosening　and　warming；　his　muscles　melting　in　concentric　rings　around　Zach；　drawing　him　in　deep。　He　linked　his　hands　at　the　small　of　Zach's　back。　Blood　ran　down　his　arms；　dripped　over　their　bodies；　began　to　soak　into　the　mattress。
　　〃Ahhh…〃　Zach's　teeth　closed　on　Trevor's　shoulder；　a　tiny　exquisite　pain。　〃You're　so　tight。　It　almost　hurts。〃
　　〃You　can　fuck　me　hard。　You　can　open　me　up。〃
　　〃Yeah？〃　Zach　scrambled　to　his　knees；　put　his　hands　on　Trevor's　thighs　and　pushed　them　up　and　back；　driving　in　still　deeper。　His　face　was　streaked　with　blood；　his　expression　poised　between　pain　and　ecstasy。　〃Like　that？　Does　that　feel　good？〃
　　〃Yes…but　harder…〃　Trevor　groped　for　Zach's　hand；　guided　it　to　his　penis。　When　Zach　closed　his　fingers　around　the　head　and　began　to　stroke；　Trevor　put　his　hand　over　Zach's　and　squeezed　brutally。
　　〃Trev；　I　don't　want　to　hurt　you…〃
　　〃Harder！〃　Trevor　sobbed。　〃I　have　to　get　there！〃
　　〃WHERE；　DAMMIT？〃　Zach　grabbed　Trevor's　chin　with　his　free　hand；　forced　Trevor　to　look　him　in　the　face。　Zach's　eyes　were　huge；　wild。　〃WHAT　ARE　YOU　MAKING　ME　DO　TO　YOU？〃
　　The　pleasure　and　the　drugs　overloaded　Trevor's　synapses　with　towering　sensation。　But　he　felt　a　vortex　beginning　to　open　in　his　brain。　His　consciousness　swirled　around　the　edges　of　it；　began　to　be　drawn　into　it。　He　drove　his　hips　up　hard　against　Zach；　impaling　himself。　The　area　between　his　asshole　and　his　balls　and　the　tip　of　his　penis　felt　like　one　huge　raw　nerve。　Zach's　heartbeat　throbbed　deep　in　his　guts。　Light　poured　out　of　the　vortex；　sparkling；　swarming。
　　Beyond　that　vortex　was　Birdland。　If　he　was　ever　going　to　be　with　Zach　again；　he　had　to　go　there　now。
　　Trevor　let　himself　go。
　　
　　〃Trev？　Trevor？！　GODDAMMIT；　TREVOR！！！〃　Zach　punched　the　pillow　beside　Trevor's　head。　Trevor　didn't　move　or　seem　to　hear。
　　Zach　had　felt　Trevor's　back　arching；　Trevor's　e　welling　into　his　palm　and　dripping　between　his　ringers；　and　he　had　nearly　e　too。　But　then　Trevor　had　stopped　moaning　and　his　eyes　had　gone　blank　and　he　had　fallen　back　on　the　mattress。
　　Zach's　heart　lurched　painfully。　He　felt　for　Trevor's　heartbeat；　listened　for　his　breathing。　Both　were　strong　and　steady。　Trevor's　eyes　were　half…open；　blinking　slowly。　But　they　were　unfocused；　and　did　not　flicker　when　Zach　passed　his　hand　before　them　or　peered　into　them。　Zach　shivered。　Trevor's　eyes　looked　abandoned。
　　〃Trev？〃　he　whispered。　〃Remember；　you　promised　not　to　leave　me。〃
　　No　response。
　　〃Trevor？　。　。　。　Please？〃　Zach　pressed　his　mouth　against　Trevor's　slack　lips；　kissed　hard。　Again　no　response。
　　He　didn't　think　Trevor　was　in　there。　Or　perhaps　Trevor　had　gone　so　deep　that　he　couldn't　hear。　A　word　rang　in　Zach's　mind　like　the　tolling　of　a　deep　dissonant　bell。　Catotonia。
　　The　thought　scared　him　so　badly　that　he　grabbed　Trevor　by　the　shoulders　and　shook　him　hard。　Trevor's　head　rolled　bonelessly　on　his　neck。　A　silvery　thread　of　saliva　leaked　from　one　corner　of　his　mouth。　There　was　nothing　in　his　eyes；　nothing　in　his　face。
　　Zach　clawed　at　his　own　face；　bit　his　fingers　viciously；　sobbed　in　frustration　and　dread。　Why　had　he　ever　thought　it　was　a　good　idea　to　feed　Trevor　mushrooms？　Why　had　he　thought　either　of　them　could　handle　such　a　heavy…duty　mindfuck　within　these　cursed；　malicious　walls？
　　Suddenly　he　remembered　what　Trevor　had　said　right　before　passing　out。　I　have　to　get　there。　Had　Trevor　used　the　shock　of　orgasm　to　detach　himself　from　his　body　somehow？　Was　his　spirit　careening　around　the　house；　unable　to　municate　with　Zach；　unable　to　get　back　in？
　　Or；　worse；　was　Trevor　no　longer　here　at　all？　What　if　he　went　crashing　into　the　spirit　world；　demanding　his　explanation　for　being　alive；　and　Bobby　decided　to　keep　him　there？　What　if　Bobby　just　wanted　to　finish　the　job　he'd　left　undone　before？　Embodied　or　not；　Trevor　was　still　tripping　his　ass　off；　and　that　made　him　more　vulnerable　than　he　already　was。　If　Trevor　had　gone　somewhere　else；　Zach　knew　he　had　to　follow。
　　But　how　in　hell　was　Zach　supposed　to　leave　his　body？　He　was　used　to　having　orgasms；　no　matter　how　intense　they　were；　his　spirit　did　not　separate　from　his　flesh；　did　not　extrude　on　some　umbilical　thread　of　ectoplasm；　did　not　detach。　He　had　never　thought　about　how　solidly　mired　in　his　body　he　was　until　now；　when　he　wanted　to　get　out　of　it。
　　He　concentrated　furiously；　tried　to　project　himself　into　Trevor's　brain。　He'd　gotten　in　once；　but　it　seemed　the　password　had　been　changed。　Zach　tried　to　imagine　what　the　new　one　might　be；　tried　to　feel　around　the　edges　of　Trevor's　blown　consciousness。　He　forced　himself　to　go　limp；　surrender　to　the　drug；　think　about　anything　but　projecting。　He　tore　at　his　hair　and　his　scalp；　trying　to　rip　his　own　ghost　out　of　his　skull。　None　of　it　worked。　Zach　collapsed　back　on　the　mattress；　hugged　Trevor　and　sobbed　into　his　chest。　A　thin　sheen　of　sweat　had　e　up　on　Trevor's　skin。　It　rippled　with　opalescent　colors　and　smelled　faintly　of　coffee。
　　Coffee　。　。　。
　　Zach　had　a　dangerous　idea。
　　He　tested　Trevor's　heartbeat　again。　It　remained　even　and　strong。　He　kissed　Trevor's　cheek；　spoke　into　his　ear。　〃I　love　you；　Trev。　I'm　ing　to　get　you。　Just　try　not　to　go　too　far　in。〃
　　He　pushed　himself　up；　nearly　passed　out　himself　as　the　blood　rushed　to　his　head；　tried　to　let　it　happen　but　recovered。　He　crossed　the　bedroom　and　edged　into　the　hall；　refused　to　look　toward　the　bathroom　or　at　the　doorway　into　the　living　room；　would　not　glance　over　his　shoulder　as　he　entered　the　kitchen。　He　had　never　felt　so　unsafe　in　this　house。
　　Zach　opened　the　refrigerator；　squinted　into　the　dazzling　light；　took　out　the　bag　of　coffee　Trevor　had　bought。　He　carried　it　over　to　the　coffee　maker　from　Potter's　Store　and　shook　a　generous　amount　into　the　filter　basket；　then　ran　tapwater　into　the　pot　and　poured　it　through。　A　few　seconds　later　the　machine　began　to　bubble　and　a　dark；　rich　scent　filled　the　kitchen。　The　odor　nauseated　him：　he　knew　what　he　was　probably　going　to　have　to　do。
　　Zach　couldn't　wait　for　the　pot　to　fill。　As　soon　as　a　cupful　had　collected；　he　yanked　it　out　and　splashed　it　into　a　mug。　The　stream　of　brewing　coffee　sizzled　against　the　hotplate。　Zach's　nerves　twitched　in　sympathy。　He　thrust　the　pot　back　in；　flipped　the　switch　off；　grabbed　the　steaming　mug；　and　hurried　back　to　the　bedroom。
　　〃Trev？　Want　some　joe？　C'mon　。　。　。〃　He　slid　a　hand　behind　Trevor's　neck　and　propped　his　head　up；　wafted　the　mug　back　and　forth　under　Trevor's　nose　without　much　hope。　As　he　had　feared；　Trevor　made　no　response。　He　was　gone；　all　right。
　　Zach　looked　into　the　mug。　The　black　surface　of　the　coffee　shimmered；　as　full　of　subtle　sinister　colors　as　an　oil　slick。　To　Zach　it　looked　like　the　surface　of　death。　His　heart　twinged；　and　Zach　apologized　to　it　in　advance　for　what　he　was　about　to　do。
　　He　took　a　deep　breath　and　blew　on　the　demon　joe；　the　drug　that　bore　his　father's　name。　He　said　a　prayer　to