cb.imajica1-第14章

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　Clearing　his　tears；　he　left　the　doorstep　and　pursued　the　disappearing　figure；　daring　to　believe　as　he　went　that　there　might　yet　be　another　spring；　and　a　summer　of　reconciliations　to　follow。
　
　
　8
　
　WHEN　HE　GOT　BACK　TO　THE　HOTEL；　Gentle's　first　instinct　was　to　call　Jude。　She'd　made　her　feelings　towards　him　abundantly　clear；　of　course；　and　mon　sense　decreed　that　he　leave　this　little　drama　to　fizzle　out；　but　he'd　glimpsed　too　many　enigmas　tonight　to　be　able　to　shrug　off　his　unease　and　walk　away。　Though　the　streets　of　this　city　were　solid；　their　buildings　numbered　and　named；　though　the　avenues　were　bright　enough　even　at　night　to　banish　ambiguity；　he　still　felt　as　though　he　was　on　the　margin　of　some　unknown　land；　in　danger　of　crossing　into　it　without　realizing　he　was　even　doing　so。　And　if　he　went；　might　Jude　not　also　follow？　Determined　though　she　was　to　divide　her　life　from　his；　the　obscure　suspicion　remained　in　him　that　their　fates　were　interwoven。
　He　had　no　logical　explanation　for　this。　The　feeling　was　a　mystery；　and　mysteries　weren't　his　specialty。　They　were　the　stuff　of　after…dinner　conversation；　when…mellowed　by　brandy　and　candlelight…people　confessed　to　fascinations　they　wouldn't　have　broached　an　hour　earlier。　Under　such　influence　he'd　heard　rationalists　confess　their　devotion　to　tabloid　astrologies；　heard　atheists　lay　claim　to　heavenly　visitations；　heard　tales　of　psychic　siblings　and　prophetic　deathbed　pronouncements。　They'd　all　been　amusing　enough；　in　their　way。　But　this　was　something　different。　This　was　happening　to　him；　and　it　made　him　afraid。
　He　finally　gave　in　to　his　unease。　He　located　Martin's　number　and　called　the　apartment。　The　lover　boy　picked　up。
　He　sounded　agitated　and　became　more　so　when　Gentle　identified　himself。
　〃I　don't　know　what　your　goddamn　game　is；〃　he　said。
　〃It's　no　game；〃　Gentle　told　him。
　〃You　just　keep　away　from　this　apartment…〃
　〃I've　no　intention…〃
　〃…because　if　I　see　your　face；　I　swear…〃
　〃Can　I　speak　to　Jude？〃
　〃Judith's　not…〃
　〃I'm　on　the　other　line；〃　Jude　said。
　〃Judith；　put　down　the　phone！　You　don't　want　to　be　talking　with　this　scum。〃
　〃Calm　down；　Marlin。〃
　〃You　heard　her；　Mervin。　Calm　down。〃
　Marlin　slammed　down　the　receiver。
　〃Suspicious；　is　he？〃　Gentle　said。
　〃He　thinks　this　is　all　your　doing。〃
　〃So　you　told　him　about　Estabrook？〃
　〃No；　not　yet。〃
　〃You're　just　going　to　blame　the　hired　hand；　is　that　it？〃
　〃Look；　I'm　sorry　about　some　of　the　things　I　said。　I　wasn't　thinking　straight。　If　it　hadn't　been　for　you　maybe　I'd　be　dead　by　now。〃
　〃No　maybe　about　it；〃　Gentle　said。　〃Our　friend　Pie　meant　business。〃
　〃He　meant　something；〃　she　replied。　〃But　I'm　not　sure　it　was　murder。〃
　〃He　was　trying　to　smother　you；　Jude。〃
　〃Was　he？　Or　was　he　just　trying　to　hush　me？　He　had　such　a　strange　look…〃
　〃I　think　we　should　talk　about　this　face　to　face；〃　Gentle　said。　〃Why　don't　you　slip　away　from　lover　boy　for　a　late…night　drink？　I　can　pick　you　up　right　outside　your　building。　You'll　be　quite　safe。〃
　〃I　don't　think　that's　such　a　good　idea。　I've　got　packing　to　do。　I've　decided　to　go　back　to　London　tomorrow。〃
　〃Was　that　planned？〃
　〃No。　I'd　just　feel　more　secure　if　I　was　at　home。〃
　〃Is　Mervin　going　with　you？〃
　〃It's　Marlin。　And　no；　he　isn't。〃
　〃More　fool　him。〃
　〃Look；　I'd　better　go。　Thanks　for　thinking　of　me。〃
　〃It's　no　hardship；〃　he　said。　〃And　if　you　get　lonely　between　now　and　tomorrow　morning…〃
　〃I　won't。〃
　〃You　never　know。　I'm　at　the　Omni。　Room　one…oh…three。　There's　a　double　bed。〃
　〃You'll　have　plenty　of　room；　then。〃
　〃I'll　be　thinking　of　you；〃　he　said。　He　paused；　then　added；　〃I'm　glad　I　saw　you。〃
　〃I'm　glad　you're　glad。〃
　〃Does　that　mean　you're　not？〃
　〃It　means　I've　got　packing　to　do。　Good　night；　Gentle。〃
　〃Good　night。〃
　〃Have　fun。〃
　He　did　what　little　packing　of　his　own　he　had　to　do；　then　ordered　up　a　small　supper：　a　club　sandwich；　ice　cream；　bourbon；　and　coffee。　The　warmth　of　the　room　after　the　icy　street　and　its　exertions　made　him　feel　sluggish。　He　undressed　and　ate　his　supper　naked　in　front　of　the　television；　picking　the　crumbs　from　his　pubic　hair　like　lice。　By　the　time　he　got　to　the　ice　cream　he　was　too　weary　to　eat；　so　he　downed　the　bourbon…which　instantly　took　its　toll…and　retired　to　bed；　leaving　the　television　on　in　the　next　room；　its　sound　turned　down　to　a　soporific　burble。
　His　body　and　his　mind　went　about　their　different　businesses。　The　former；　freed　from　conscious　instruction；　breathed；　rolled；　sweated；　and　digested。　The　latter　went　dreaming。　First；　of　Manhattan　served　on　a　plate；　sculpted　in　perfect　detail。　Then　of　a　waiter；　speaking　in　a　whisper；　asking　if　sir　wanted　night；　and　of　night　ing　in　the　form　of　a　blueberry　syrup；　poured　from　high　above　the　plate　and　falling　in　viscous　folds　upon　the　streets　and　towers。　Then；　Gentle　walking　in　those　streets；　between　those　towers；　hand　in　hand　with　a　shadow；　the　pany　of　which　he　was　happy　to　keep；　and　which　turned　when　they　reached　an　intersection　and　laid　its　feather　finger　upon　the　middle　of　his　brow；　as　though　Ash　Wednesday　were　dawning。
　He　liked　the　touch　and　opened　his　mouth　to　lightly　lick　the　ball　of　the　shadow's　hand。　It　stroked　the　place　again。　He　shuddered　with　pleasure；　wishing　he　could　see　into　the　darkness　of　this　other　and　know　Its　face。　In　straining　to　see；　he　opened　his　eyes；　body　and　mind　converging　once　again。　He　was　back　in　his　hotel　room；　the　only　light　the　flicker　of　the　television；　reflected　in　the　gloss　of　a　half…open　door。　Though　he　was　awake　the　sensation　continued；　and　to　it　was　added　sound：　a　milky　sigh　that　excited　him。　There　was　a　woman　in　the　room。
　〃Jude？〃　he　said。
　She　pressed　her　cool　palm　against　his　open　mouth；　hushing　his　inquiry　even　as　she　answered　it。　He　couldn't　distinguish　her　from　the　darkness；　but　any　lingering　doubt　that　she　might　belong　to　the　dream　from　which　he'd　risen　was　dispatched　as　her　hand　went　from　his　mouth　to　his　bare　chest。　He　reached　up　in　the　darkness　to　take　hold　of　her　face　and　bring　it　down　to　his　mouth；　glad　that　the　murk　concealed　the　satisfaction　he　wore。　She'd　e　to　him。　After　all　the　signals　of　rejection　she'd　sent　out　at　the　apartment…despite　Marlin；　despite　the　dangerous　streets；　despite　the　hour；　despite　their　bitter　history…she'd　e；　bearing　the　gift　of　her　body　to　his　bed。
　Though　he　couldn't　see　her；　the　darkness　was　a　black　canvas；　and　he　painted　her　there　to　perfection；　her　beauty　gazing　down　on　him。　His　hands　found　her　flawless　cheeks。　They　were　cooler　than　her　hands；　which　were　on　his　belly　now；　pressing　harder　as　she　hoisted　herself　over　him。　There　was　everywhere　in　their　exchange　an　exquisite　syn…chronicity。　He　thought　of　her　tongue　and　tasted　it；　he　imagined　her　breasts；　and　she　took　his　hands　to　them；　he　wished　she　would　speak；　and　she　spoke　（oh；　how　she　spoke）；　words　he　hadn't　dared　admit　he'd　wanted　to　hear。
　〃I　had　to　do　this　。　。　。〃　she　said。
　〃I　know。　I　know。〃
　〃Forgive　me。〃
　〃What's　to　forgive？〃
　〃I　can't　be　without　you；　Gentle。　We　belong　to　each　other；　like　man　and　wife。〃
　With　her　here；　so　close　after　such　an　absence；　the　idea　of　marriage　didn't　seem　so　preposterous。　Why　not　claim　her　now　and　forever？
　〃You　want　to　marry　me？〃　he　murmured。
　〃Ask　me　again　another　night；〃　she　replied。
〃I'm　asking　you　now。〃
　She　put　her　hand　back　upon　that　anointing　place　in　the　middle　of　his　brow。　〃Hush；〃　she　said。　〃What　you　want　now　you　might　not　want　tomorrow。　。　。。〃
　He　opened　his　mouth　to　disagree；　but　the　thought　lost　its　way　between　his　brain　and　his　tongue；　distracted　by　the　small　circular　motions　she　was　making　on　his　forehead。　A　calm　emanated　from　the　place；　moving　down　through　his　torso　and　out　to　his　fingertips。　With　it；　the　pain　of　his　bruising　faded。　He　raised　his　hands　above　his　head；　stretching　to　let　bliss　run　through　him　freely。　Released　from　aches　he'd　bee　accustomed　to；　his　body　felt　new　minted：　gleaming　invisibly。
　〃I　want　to　be　inside　you；〃　he　said。
　〃How　far？〃
　〃All　the　way。〃
　He　tried　to　divide　the　darkness　and　catch　some　glimpse　of　her　response；　but　his　sight　was　a　poor　explorer　and　returned　from　the　unknown　without　news。　Only　a　flicker　from　the　television；　reflected　in　the　^loss　of　his　eye　and　thrown　up　against　the　blank　darkness；　lent　him　the　illusion　of　a　luster　passing　through　her　body；　opaline。　He　started　to　sit　up；　seeking　her　face；　but　she　was　already　moving　down　the　bed；　and　moments　later　he　felt　her　lips　on　his　stomach；　and　then　upon　the　head　of　his　cock；　which　she　took　into　her　mouth　by　degrees；　her　tongue　playing　on　it　as　she　went；　until　he　thought　he　would　lose　control。　He　warned　her　with　a　murmur；　was　released　and；　a　breath　later；　swallowed　again。
　The　absence　of　sight　lent　potency　to　her　touch。　He　felt　every　motion　of　tongue　and　tooth　in　play　upon　him；　his　prick；　particularized　by　her　appetite；　being　vast　in　his　mind's　eye　until　it　was　his　body's　size：　a　veiny　torso　and　a　blind　head　lying　on　the　bed　of　his　belly　wet　from　end　to　end；　straining　and　shuddering；　while　she；　the　darkness；　swallowed　him　utterly。　He　was　only　sensation　now；　and　she　its　supplier；　his　body　enslaved　by　bliss；；　unable　to　remember　its　making　or　conceive　of　its　undoing。　God；　but　she　knew　how　he　liked　to　be　pleasured；　taking　care　not　to　stale　his　nerves　with　repetition；　but　cajoling　his　juice　into　cells　already　brimming；　until　he　was　ready　to　e　in　blood　and　be　murdered　by　her　work；　willingly。
　Another　skitter　of　light　behind　his　eye　broke　the　hold　of　sensation；　and　he　was　once　again　entire…his　prick　its　modest　length…and　she　not　darkness　but　a　body　through　which　waves　of　iridescence　seemed　to　pass。　Only　seemed；　he　knew。　This　was　his　sight…starved　eyes'　invention。　Yet　it　came　again；　a　sinuous　light；　sleeking　her；　then　going　out。　Invention　or　not　it　made　him　want　her　more　pletely；　and　he　put　his　arms　beneath　her　shoulders；　lifting　her　up　and　off　him。　She　rolled　over　to　his　side；　and　he　reached　across　to　undress　her。　Now　that　she　was　lying　against　white　sheets　her　form　was　visible；　albeit　vaguely。　She　moved　beneath　his　hand；　raising　her　body　to　his　touch。
　〃Inside　you　。　。　。〃　he　said；　rummaging　through　the　damp　folds　of　her　clothes。
　Her　presence　beside　him　had　stilled；　her　breathing　lost　its　irregularity。　He　bared　her　breasts；　put　his　tongue　to　them　as　his　hands　went　down　to　the　belt　of　her　skirt；　to　find　that　she'd　changed　for　the　trip　and　was　wearing　jeans。　Her　hands　were　on　the　belt；　almost　as　if　to　deny　him。　But　he　wouldn't　be　delayed　or　denied。　He　pulled　the　jeans　down　around　her　hips；　feeling　skin　so　smooth　beneath　his　hands　it　was　almost　fluid；　her　whole　body　a　slow　curve；　like　a　wave　about　to　break　over　him。
　For　the　first　time　since　she'd　appeared　she　said　his　name；　tentatively；　as　though　in　this　darkness　she'd　suddenly　doubted　he　was　real。
　〃I'm　here；〃　he　replied。　〃Always。〃
　〃This　is　what　you　want？〃　she　said。
　〃Of　course　it　is。　Of　course；〃　he　replied；　and　put　his　hand　on　her　sex。
　This　time　the　iridescence；　when　it　came；　was　almost　bright；　and　fixed　in　his　head　the　image　of　her　crotch；　his　fingers　sliding　over　and　between　her　labia。　As　the　light　went；　leaving　its　afterglow　on　his　blind　eyes；　he　was　vaguely　distracted　by　a　ringing　sound；　far　off　at　first　but　closer　with　every　repetition。　The　telephone；　damn　it！　He　did　his　best　to　ignore　it；　failed；