cb.imajica1-第53章

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er　than　these　relics。　After　a　few　moments　of　hesitation　she　left　them　in　the　dark；　locking　the　door　behind　her。　She　would　take　the　key　back　to　him；　she'd　decided。　If　his　words　of　admiration　were　not　simply　flattery…if　he　had　bed　on　his　mind…she'd　know　it　soon　enough。　And　if　he　rejected　her；　at　least　there'd　be　an　end　to　this　trial　by　doubt。
　She　knocked　on　the　bedroom　door。　There　was　no　reply。　There　was　light　seeping　from　under　the　door；　however；　so　she　knocked　again　and　then　turned　the　handle　and；　saying　his　name　softly；　entered。　The　lamp　beside　the　bed　was　burning；　illuminating　an　ancestral　portrait　that　hung　over　it。　Through　its　gilded　window　a　severe　and　sallow　individual　gazed　down　on　the　empty　sheets。　Hearing　the　sound　of　running　water　from　the　adjacent　bathroom；　Jude　crossed　the　bedroom；　taking　in　a　dozen　details　of　this；　his　most　private　chamber；　as　she　did　so：　the　plushness　of　the　pillows　and　the　linen；　the　spirit　decanter　and　glass　beside　the　bed；　the　cigarettes　and　ashtray　on　a　small　heap　of　well…thumbed　paperbacks…　Without　declaring　herself；　she　pushed　the　door　open。　Oscar　was　sitting　on　the　edge　of　the　bath　in　his　undershorts；　dabbing　a　washcloth　to　a　partially　healed　wound　in　his　side。　Reddened　water　ran　over　the　furry　swell　of　his　belly。　Hearing　her；　he　looked　up。　There　was　pain　on　his　face。
　She　didn't　attempt　to　offer　an　excuse　for　being　there；　nor　did　he　request　one。　He　simply　said；　〃Charlie　did　it。〃
　〃You　should　see　a　doctor。〃
　〃I　don't　trust　doctors。　Besides；　it's　getting　better。〃　He　tossed　the　washcloth　into　the　sink。　〃Do　you　make　a　habit　of　walking　into　bathrooms　unannounced？〃　he　said。　〃You　could　have　walked　in　on　something　even　less…〃
　〃Venereal？〃　she　said。
　〃Don't　mock　me；〃　he　replied。　〃I'm　a　crude　seducer；　I　know。　It　es　from　years　of　buying　pany。〃
　〃Would　you　be　more　fortable　buying　me？〃　she　said。
　〃My　God；〃　he　replied；　his　look　appalled。　〃What　do　you　take　me　for？〃
　〃A　lover；〃　she　said　plainly。　〃My　lover？〃
　〃I　wonder　if　you　know　what　you're　saying？〃
　〃What　I　don't　know　I'll　learn；〃　she　said。　〃I've　been　hiding　from　myself；　Oscar。　Putting　everything　out　of　my　head　so　I　wouldn't　feel　anything。　But　I　feel　a　lot。　And　I　want　you　to　know　that。〃
　〃I　know；〃　he　said。　〃More　than　you　can　understand；　I　know。　And　it　makes　me　afraid；　Judith。〃
　〃There's　nothing　to　be　afraid　of；〃　she　said；　astonished　that　it　was　she　who　was　mouthing　these　words　of　reassurance　when　he　was　the　elder　and　presumably　the　stronger；　the　wiser。　She　reached　out　and　put　her　palm　flat　against　his　massive　chest。　He　bent　forward　to　kiss　her；　his　mouth　closed　until　he　met　hers　and　found　it　open。　One　hand　went　around　her　back；　the　other　to　her　breast；　her　murmur　of　pleasure　smeared　between　their　mouths。　His　touch　moved　down；　over　her　stomach；　past　her　groin；　to　hoist　up　her　skirt　and　retrace　its　steps。　His　fingers　found　her　sopping…she'd　been　wet　since　first　stepping　into　the　treasure　room…and　he　slid　his　whole　hand　down　into　the　hot　pouch　of　her　underwear；　pressing　the　heel　of　his　palm　against　the　top　of　her　sex　while　his　long　middle　digit　sought　out　her　fundament；　gently　catching　its　flukes　with　his　nail。
　〃Bed；〃　she　said。
　He　didn't　let　her　go。　They　made　an　ungainly　exit　from　the　bathroom；　with　him　guiding　her　backwards　until　she　felt　the　edge　of　the　bed　behind　her　thighs。　There　she　sat　down；　taking　hold　of　the　waistband　of　his　blood…stained　shorts　and　easing　them　down　while　she　kissed　his　belly。　Suddenly　bashful；　he　reached　to　stop　her；　but　she　pulled　them　down　until　his　penis　appeared。　It　was　a　curiosity。　Only　a　little　engorged；　it　had　been　deprived　of　its　foreskin；　which　made　its　outlandishly　bulbous；　carmine　head　look　even　more　inflamed　than　the　wound　in　its　wielder's　side。　The　stem　was　very　considerably　thinner　and　paler；　its　length　knotted　with　veins　bearing　blood　to　its　crown。　If　it　was　this　disproportion　that　embarrassed　him　he　had　no　need；　and　to　prove　her　pleasure　she　put　her　lips　against　the　head。　His　objecting　hand　was　no　longer　in　evidence。　She　heard　him　make　a　little　moan　above；　and　looked　up　to　see　him　staring　down　at　her　with　something　very　like　awe　on　his　face。　Sliding　her　fingers　beneath　testicles　and　stem；　she　raised　the　curiosity　to　her　mouth　and　took　it　inside；　then　she　dropped　both　hands　to　her　blouse　and　began　to　unbutton。　But　he'd　no　sooner　started　to　harden　in　her　mouth　than　he　murmured　a　denial；　withdrew　his　member；　and　stepped　back　from　her；　pulling　up　his　underwear。
　〃Why　are　you　doing　this？〃　he　said。
　〃I'm　enjoying　it。〃
　He　was　genuinely　agitated；　she　saw；　shaking　his　head；　covering　the　bulge　in　his　underwear　in　a　new　fit　of　bashful…ness。
　〃For　whose　sake？〃　he　said。　〃You　don't　have　to；　you　know。〃
　〃I　know。〃
　〃I　wonder？〃　he　said；　genuine　puzzlement　in　his　voice。
　〃I　don't　want　to　use　you。〃
　〃I　wouldn't　let　you。〃
　〃Maybe　you　wouldn't　know。〃
　This　remark　inflamed　her。　A　rage　rose　such　as　she'd　not　felt　in　a　long　while。　She　stood　up。
　〃I　know　what　I　want；〃　she　said；　〃but　I'm　not　about　to　beg　for　it。〃
　〃That's　not　what　I'm　saying。〃
　〃What　are　you　saying？〃
　〃That　I　want　you　too。〃
　〃So　do　something　about　it；〃　she　said。
　He　seemed　to　find　her　fury　freshly　arousing　and　stepped　towards　her　again；　saying　her　name　in　a　voice　almost　pained　with　feeling。　〃I'd　like　to　undress　you；〃　he　said。　〃Would　you　mind？〃
　〃No。〃
　〃I　don't　want　you　to　do　anything…〃
　〃Then　I　won't。〃
　〃…except　lie　down。〃
　She　did　so。　He　turned　off　the　bathroom　light；　then　came　to　the　edge　of　the　bed　and　looked　down　at　her。　His　bulk　was　emphasized　by　the　light　from　the　lamp；　which　threw　his　shadow　up　to　the　ceiling。　Quantity　had　never　seemed　an　arousing　quality　hitherto；　but　in　him　she　found　it　intensely　attractive；　evidence　as　it　was　of　his　excesses　and　his　appetites。　Here　was　a　man　who　would　not　be　contained　by　one　world；　one　set　of　experiences；　but　who　was　kneeling　now　like　a　slave　in　front　of　her；　his　expression　that　of　one　obsessed。
　With　consummate　tenderness；　he　began　to　undress　her。　She'd　known　fetishists　before…men　to　whom　she　was　not　an　individual　but　a　hook　upon　which　some　particular　item　was　hung　for　worship。　If　there　was　any　such　particular　in　this　man's　head；　it　was　the　body　he　now　began　to　uncover；　proceeding　to　do　so　in　an　order　and　manner　that　made　some　fevered　sense　to　him。　First　he　slipped　off　her　underpants；　then　he　finished　unbuttoning　her　blouse；　without　removing　it。　Next　he　teased　her　breasts　from　her　bra；　so　that　they　were　available　to　his　toying；　but　then　didn't　play　there　but　went　to　her　shoes；　removing　them　and　setting　them　beside　the　bed　before　hoisting　up　her　skirt　so　as　to　have　a　view　of　her　sex。　Here　his　eyes　lingered；　his　fingers　advancing　up　her　thigh　to　the　crease　of　her　groin；　then　retreating。　Not　once　did　he　look　at　her　face。　She　looked　at　his；　however；　enjoying　the　zeal　and　veneration　there。　Finally　he　rewarded　his　own　diligence　with　kisses。　First　on　her　lower　legs；　moving　up　towards　her　knees；　then　her　stomach　and　her　breasts；　and　finally　returning　to　her　thighs　and　up　into　the　place　he'd　forbidden　them　both　till　now。　She　was　ready　for　pleasure；　and　he　supplied　it；　his　huge　hand　caressing　her　breasts　as　he　tongued　her。　She　closed　her　eyes　as　he　unfolded　her；　alive　to　every　drop　of　moisture　on　her　labia　and　legs。　When　he　rose　from　this　to　finish　undressing　her…skirt　first；　then　blouse　and　bra…her　face　was　hot　and　her　breath　fast。　He　tossed　the　clothes　onto　the　floor　and　stood　up　again；　taking　her　knees　and　pushing　them　up　and　back；　spreading　her　for　his　delectation；　and　holding　her　there；　prettily　exposed。
　〃Finger　yourself；〃　he　said；　not　letting　her　go。
　She　put　her　hands　between　her　legs　and　made　a　show　for　him。　He'd　slickened　her　well；　but　her　fingers　went　deeper　than　his　tongue；　readying　herself　for　the　curiosity。　He　gorged　on　the　sight；　meanwhile；　glancing　up　to　her　face　several　times；　then　returning　to　the　spectacle　below。　All　trace　of　his　previous　hesitation　had　gone。　He　encouraged　her　with　his　admiration；　calling　her　a　host　of　sweet　names；　his　tented　underwear　proof…as　if　she　needed　it…of　his　arousal。　She　started　to　push　her　hips　up　from　the　bed　to　meet　her　fingers；　and　he　took　firmer　grip　of　her　knees　as　she　moved；　opening　her　wider　still。　Lifting　his　right　hand　to　his　mouth　he　licked　his　middle　finger　and　put　it　down　against　her　pucker　of　her　other　hole；　rubbing　it　gently。
　〃Will　you　suck　me　now？〃　he　asked　her。　〃Just　a　little？〃
　〃Show　me　it；〃　she　said。
　He　stepped　away　from　her　and　took　off　his　underwear。　The　curiosity　was　now　fully　risen　and　florid。　She　sat　up　and　put　it　back　between　her　lips；　one　hand　holding　it　by　its　pulsing　root　while　the　other　continued　its　dalliance　with　her　own　sex。　She'd　never　been　good　at　guessing　the　point　at　which　the　milk　boiled　over；　so　she　took　it　from　the　heat　of　her　mouth　to　cool　him　a　little；　glancing　up　at　him　as　she　did　so。　Either　the　extraction　or　her　glance　set　him　off；　however。
　〃Damn！〃　he　said。　〃Damn！〃；　and　started　to　step　back　from　her；　his　hand　going　down　to　his　groin　to　take　the　curiosity　in　a　stranglehold。
　It　seemed　he　might　have　succeeded；　as　two　desultory　dribbles　ran　from　its　head。　Then　his　testicles　unleashed　their　flood；　and　it　came　forth　in　unmon　abundance。　He　moaned　as　it　came；　as　much　in　self…admonishment　as　pleasure；　she　thought；　that　assumption　confirmed　when　he'd　emptied　his　sac　upon　the　floor。
　〃I'm　sorry　。　。　。〃　he　said；　〃。。；　I'm　sorry。　。　。。〃
　〃There's　no　need；〃　she　said；　standing　up　and　putting　her　lips　to　his。　He　continued　to　murmur　his　apologies；　however。
　〃I　haven't　done　that　in　a　long　time；〃　he　said。　〃So　adolescent。〃
　She　kept　her　silence；　knowing　anything　she　said　would　only　begin　a　further　round　of　self…reproach。　He　slipped　away　into　the　bathroom　to　find　a　towel。　When　he　returned　she　was　picking　up　her　clothes。
　〃Are　you　going？〃　he　said。
　〃Only　to　my　room。〃
　〃Do　you　have　to？〃　he　said。　〃I　know　that　wasn't　much　of　a　performance；　but　。　。　。　the　bed's　big　enough　for　us　both。　And　I　don't　snore。〃
　〃The　bed's　enormous。〃
　〃So　。　。　。　would　you　stay？〃　he　said。
　〃I'd　like　to。〃
　He　made　a　charming　smile。　〃I'm　honored；〃　he　said。　〃Will　you　excuse　me　a　moment？〃
　He　switched　the　bathroom　light　back　on　and　disappeared　inside；　closing　the　door；　leaving　her　to　lie　back　on　the　bed　and　wonder　at　this　whole　turn　of　events。　Its　very　oddness　seemed　appropriate。　After　all；　this　whole　journey　had　begun　with　an　act　of　misplaced　love：　love　bee　murder。　Now　a　new　dislocation。　Here　she　was；　lying　in　the　bed　of　a　man　with　a　body　far　from　beautiful；　whose　bulk　she　longed　to　have　upon　her；　whose　hands　were　capable　of　fratricide　but　aroused　her　like　none　she'd　ever　known；　who'd　walked　more　worlds　than　an　opium　poet；　but　couldn't　speak　love　without　stumbling；　who　was　a　titan；　and　yet。　afraid。　She　made　a　nest　among　his　duck…down　pillows　and　waited　there　for　him　to　e　back　and　tell　her　a　story　of　love。
　He　reappeared　after　a　long　while　and　slipped　beneath　the　sheets　beside　her。　True　to　her　imaginings；　he　said　he　loved　her　at　last；　but　only　once　he'd　turned　the　light　out；　and　his　eyes　were　not　available　for　study。
　When　she　slept；　it　was　deeply；　and　when　she　woke　again；　it　was　like　sleeping；　dark　and　pleasurable；　the　former　because　the　drapes　were　still　drawn；　and　between　their　cracks　she　could　see　that　t