fh.godemperorofdune-第56章

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mistakes　was　his　greatest　strength　now。　Knowledge　of　mistakes　taught　him　long…term　corrections。　He　had　to　be　constantly　aware　of　consequences。　If　consequences　were　lost　or　concealed；　lessons　were　lost。
　But　the　closer　he　came　to　being　a　sandworm；　the　harder　he　found　it　to　make　decisions　which　others　would　call　inhuman。　Once；　he　had　done　it　with　ease。　As　his　humanity　slipped　away；　though；　he　found　himself　filled　with　more　and　more　human　concerns。
　
　In　the　cradle　of　our　past；　I　lay　upon　my　back　in　a　cave　so　shallow　I　could　penetrate　it　only　by　squirming；　not　by　crawling。　There；　by　the　dancing　light　of　a　resin　torch；　I　drew　upon　walls　and　ceiling　the　creatures　of　the　hunt　and　the　souls　of　my　people。　How　illuminating　it　is　to　peer　backward　through　a　perfect　circle　at　that　ancient　struggle　for　the　visible　moment　of　the　soul。　All　time　vibrates　to　that　call：　〃Here　I　am！〃　With　a　mind　informed　by　artist…giants　who　came　afterward；　I　peer　at　handprints　and　flowing　muscles　drawn　upon　the　rock　with　charcoal　and　vegetable　dyes。　How　much　more　we　are　than　mere　mechanical　events！　And　my　anti…civil　self　demands：　〃Why　is　it　that　they　do　not　want　to　leave　the　cave？〃
　…The　Stolen　Journals
　THE　INVITATION　to　attend　Moneo　in　his　workroom　came　to　Idaho　late　in　the　afternoon。　All　day；　Idaho　had　sat　upon　the　sling　couch　of　his　quarters；　thinking。　Every　thought　radiated　outward　from　the　ease　with　which　Moneo　had　spilled　him　onto　the　corridor　floor　that　morning。
　〃You're　just　an　older　model。〃
　With　every　thought；　Idaho　felt　himself　diminished。　He　sensed　the　will　to　live　as　it　faded；　leaving　ashes　where　his　anger　had　burned　itself　out。
　I　am　the　conveyance　of　some　useful　sperm　and　nothing　more；
　he　thought。
　It　was　a　thought　which　invited　either　death　or　hedonism。　He　felt　himself　impaled　on　a　thorn　of　chance　with　irritating　forces　pecking　at　him　from　all　sides。
　The　young　messenger　in　her　neat　blue　uniform　was　merely　another　irritation。　She　entered　at　his　low…voiced　response　to　her　knock　and　she　stopped　under　the　arched　portal　from　his　anteroom；　hesitating　until　she　had　assessed　his　mood。
　How　quickly　the　word　travels；　he　thought。
　He　saw　her　there；　framed　in　the　portal；　a　projection　of　Fish　Speaker　essence…more　voluptuous　than　some；　but　no　more　blatantly　sexual。　The　blue　uniform　did　not　conceal　graceful　hips；　firm　breasts。　He　looked　up　at　her　puckish　face　under　a　brush　of　blonde　hair…acolyte　cut。
　〃Moneo　sends　me　to　inquire　after　you；〃　she　said。　〃He　asks　that　you　attend　him　in　his　workroom。〃
　Idaho　had　seen　that　workroom　several　times；　but　still　remembered　it　best　from　his　first　view　of　it。　He　had　known　on　entering　the　room　that　it　was　where　Moneo　spent　most　of　his　time。　There　was　a　table　of　dark　brown　wood　streaked　by　fine　golden　graining；　a　table　about　two　meters　by　one　meter　and　set　low　on　stubby　legs　in　the　midst　of　gray　cushions。　The　table　had　struck　Idaho　as　something　rare　and　expensive；　chosen　for　a　single　accent。　It　and　the　cushions…which　were　the　same　gray　as　floor；　walls　and　ceiling…were　the　only　furnishings。
　Considering　the　power　of　its　occupant；　the　room　was　small；　no　more　than　five　meters　by　four；　but　with　a　high　ceiling。　Light　came　from　two　slender　glazed　windows　opposite　each　other　on　the　narrower　walls。　The　windows　looked　out　from　a　considerable　height；　one　onto　the　northwest　fringes　of　the　Sareer　and　the　bordering　green　of　the　Forbidden　Forest；　the　other　providing　a　southwest　view　over　rolling　dunes。
　Contrast。
　The　table　had　put　an　interesting　accent　on　this　initial　thought。　The　surface　had　appeared　as　an　arrangement　demonstrating　the　idea　of　clutter。　Thin　sheets　of　crystal　paper　lay　scattered　across　the　surface；　leaving　only　glimpses　of　the　wood　grain　underneath。　Fine　printing　covered　some　of　the　paper。　Idaho　recognized　words　in　Galach　and　four　other　languages；　including　the　rare　transite　tongue　of　Perth。　Several　sheets　of　the　paper　revealed　plan　drawings　and　some　were　scrawled　with　black　strokes　of　brush…script　in　the　bold　style　of　the　Bene　Gesserit。　Most　interesting　of　all　had　been　four　rolled　white　tubes　about　a　meter　long…tri…D　printouts　from　an　illegal　puter。　He　had　suspected　the　terminal　lay　concealed　behind　a　panel　in　one　of　the　walls。
　The　young　messenger　from　Moneo　cleared　her　throat　to　awaken　Idaho　from　his　reverie。　〃What　response　shall　I　return　to　Moneo？〃　she　asked。
　Idaho　focused　on　her　face。　〃Would　you　like　me　to　impregnate　you？〃　he　asked。
　〃mander！〃　She　was　obviously　shocked　not　so　much　by　his　suggestion　as　by　its　non　sequitur　intrusion。
　〃Ahhh；　yes；〃　Idaho　said。　〃Moneo。　What　shall　we　tell　Moneo？〃
　〃He　awaits　your　reply；　mander。〃
　〃Is　there　really　any　point　in　my　responding？〃　Idaho　asked。
　〃Moneo　told　me　to　inform　you　that　he　wishes　to　confer　with　both　you　and　the　Lady　Hwi　together。〃
　Idaho　sensed　a　vague　arousal　of　interest。　〃Hwi　is　with　him？〃
　〃She　has　been　summoned；　mander。〃　The　messenger　cleared　her　throat　once　more。　〃Would　the　mander　wish　me　to　visit　him　here　later　tonight？〃
　〃No。　Thank　you；　anyway。　I've　changed　my　mind。〃
　He　thought　she　concealed　her　disappointment　well；　but　her　voice　came　out　stiffly　formal：　〃Shall　I　say　that　you　will　attend　Moneo？〃
　〃Do　that。〃　He　waved　her　away。
　After　she　had　gone；　he　considered　just　ignoring　the　summons。　Curiosity　grew　in　him；　though。　Moneo　wanted　to　talk　to　him　with　Hwi　present？　Why？　Did　he　think　this　would　bring　Idaho　running？　Idaho　swallowed。　When　he　thought　of　Hwi；　the　emptiness　in　his　breast　became　full。　The　message　of　that　could　not　be　ignored。　Something　of　terrible　power　bound　him　to　Hwi。
　He　stood　up；　his　muscles　stiff　after　their　long　inaction。　Curiosity　and　this　binding　force　impelled　him。　He　went　out　into　the　corridor；　ignored　the　curious　glances　of　guards　he　passed；　and　followed　that　pelling　inner　force　up　to　Moneo's　workroom。
　Hwi　was　already　there　when　Idaho　entered　the　room。　She　was　across　the　cluttered　table　from　Moneo；　her　feet　in　red　slippers　tucked　back　beside　the　gray　cushion　on　which　she　sat。　Idaho　saw　only　that　she　wore　a　long　brown　gown　with　a　braided　green　belt；　then　she　turned　and　he　could　look　at　nothing　except　her　face。　Her　mouth　formed　his　name　without　speaking　it。
　Even　she　has　heard；　he　thought。
　Oddly；　this　thought　strengthened　him。　The　thoughts　of　this　day　began　to　form　new　shapes　in　his　mind。
　〃Please　sit　down；　Duncan；〃　Moneo　said。　He　gestured　to　a　cushion　beside　Hwi。　His　voice　conveyed　a　curious；　halting　tone；　a　manner　that　few　people　other　than　Leto　had　ever　observed　in　him。　He　kept　his　gaze　directed　downward　at　the　cluttered　surface　of　his　table。　The　late　afternoon　sunlight　cast　a　spidery　shadow　across　the　jumble　from　a　golden　paperweight　in　the　shape　of　a　fanciful　tree　with　jeweled　fruit；　all　mounted　on　a　flame…crystal　mountain。
　Idaho　took　the　indicated　cushion；　watching　Hwi's　gaze　follow　him　until　he　was　seated。　She　looked　at　Moneo　then　and　he　thought　he　saw　anger　in　her　expression。　Moneo's　usual　plain…white　uniform　was　open　at　the　throat；　revealing　a　wrinkled　neck　and　a　bit　of　dewlap。　Idaho　stared　into　the　man's　eyes；　prepared　to　wait；　forcing　Moneo　to　open　the　conversation。
　Moneo　returned　the　stare；　noting　that　Idaho　still　wore　the　black　uniform　of　their　morning　encounter。　There　was　even　a　small　trace　of　grime　down　the　front；　memento　of　the　corridor　floor　where　Moneo　had　spilled　him。　But　Idaho　no　longer　wore　the　antique　Atreides　knife。　That　bothered　Moneo。
　〃What　I　did　this　morning　was　unforgivable；〃　Moneo　said。　〃Therefore；　I　do　not　ask　you　to　forgive　me。　I　merely　ask　that　you　try　to　understand。〃
　Hwi　did　not　appear　surprised　by　this　opening；　Idaho　noted。　It　revealed　much　about　what　the　two　of　them　had　been　discussing　before　Idaho's　arrival。
　When　Idaho　did　not　respond；　Moneo　said：　〃I　had　no　right　to　make　you　feel　inadequate。〃
　Idaho　found　himself　undergoing　a　curious　response　to　Moneo's　words　and　manner。　There　was　still　the　feeling　of　being　outmaneuvered　and　outclassed；　too　far　from　his　time；　but　he　no　longer　suspected　that　Moneo　might　be　toying　with　him。　Something　had　reduced　the　majordomo　to　a　gritty　substratum　of　honesty。　The　realization　put　Leto's　universe；　the　deadly　eroticism　of　the　Fish　Speakers；　Hwi's　undeniable　candor　everything…into　a　new　relationship；　a　form　which　Idaho　felt　that　he　understood。　It　was　as　though　the　three　of　them　in　this　room　were　the　last　true　humans　in　the　entire　universe。　He　spoke　from　a　sense　of　wry　self…deprecation：
　〃You　had　every　right　to　protect　yourself　when　I　attacked　you。　It　pleases　me　that　you　were　so　capable。〃
　Idaho　turned　toward　Hwi；　but　before　he　could　speak；　Moneo　said：　〃You　needn't　plead　for　me。　I　think　her　displeasure　toward　me　is　quite　adamant。〃
　Idaho　shook　his　head。　〃Does　everyone　here　know　what　I'm　going　to　say　before　I　say　it；　what　I'm　going　to　feel　before　I　feel　it？〃
　〃One　of　your　admirable　qualities；〃　Moneo　said。　〃You　do　not　conceal　your　feelings。　We…〃　he　shrugged…　〃are　necessarily　more　circumspect。〃
　Idaho　looked　at　Hwi。　〃Does　he　speak　for　you？〃
　She　put　her　hand　in　Idaho's。　〃I　speak　for　myself。〃
　Moneo　craned　to　peer　at　the　clasped　hands；　sank　back　on　his　cushion。　He　sighed。　〃You　must　not。〃
　Idaho　clasped　her　hand　more　tightly；　felt　her　equal　response。
　〃Before　either　of　you　asks；〃　Moneo　said；　〃my　daughter　and　the　God　Emperor　have　not　yet　returned　from　the　testing。〃
　Idaho　sensed　the　effort　Moneo　had　required　to　speak　calmly。　Hwi　heard　it；　too。
　〃Is　it　true　what　the　Fish　Speakers　say？〃　she　asked。　〃Siona　dies　if　she　fails？〃
　Moneo　remained　silent；　but　his　face　was　a　rock。
　〃Is　it　like　the　Bene　Gesserit　test？〃　Idaho　asked。　〃Muad'Dib　said　the　Sisterhood　tests　to　try　to　find　out　if　you　are　human。〃
　Hwi's　hand　began　to　tremble。　Idaho　felt　it　and　looked　at　her。　〃Did　they　test　you？〃
　〃No；〃　Hwi　said；　〃but　I　heard　the　young　ones　talking　about　it。　They　said　you　must　pass　through　agony　without　losing　your　sense　of　self。〃
　Idaho　returned　his　attention　to　Moneo；　noting　the　start　of　a　tic　beside　the　majordomo's　left　eye。
　〃Moneo；〃　Idaho　breathed；　overe　by　sudden　realization。　〃He　tested　you！〃
　〃I　do　not　wish　to　discuss　tests；〃　Moneo　said。　〃We　are　here　to　decide　what　must　be　done　about　you　two。〃
　〃Isn't　that　up　to　us？〃　Idaho　asked。　He　felt　Hwi's　hand　in　his　grow　slippery　with　perspiration。
　〃It　is　up　to　the　God　Emperor；〃　Moneo　said。
　〃Even　if　Siona　fails？〃　Idaho　asked。
　〃Especially　then！〃
　〃How　did　he　test　you？〃　Idaho　asked。
　〃He　showed　me　a　small　glimpse　of　what　it's　like　to　be　the　God　Emperor。〃
　〃And？〃
　〃I　saw　as　much　as　I'm　capable　of　seeing。〃
　Hwi's　hand　tightened　convulsively　in　Idaho's。
　〃Then　it's　true　that　you　were　a　rebel　once；〃　Idaho　said。
　〃I　began　with　love　and　prayer；〃　Moneo　said。　〃I　changed　to　anger　and　rebellion。　I　was　transformed　into　what　you　see　before　you。　I　recognize　my　duty　and　I　do　it。〃
　〃What　did　he　do　to　you？〃　Idaho　demanded。
　〃He　quoted　to　me　the　prayer　of　my　childhood：　‘I　give　my　life　in　dedication　to　the　greater　glory　of　God。〃'　Moneo　spoke　in　a　musing　voice。
　Idaho　noted　Hwi's　stillness；　her　stare　fixed　on　Moneo's　face。　What　was　she　thinking？
　〃I　admitted　that　this　had　been　my　prayer；〃　Moneo　said。　〃And　the　God　Emperor　asked　me　what　I　would　give　up　if　my　life　were　not　enough。　He　shouted　at　me：　‘What　is　your　life　when　you　hold　back　the　greater