rh.royalassassin-第20章

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ried　to　be　sternly　aloof　from　him；　to　know　him　through　the　Wit　as　little　as　possible。　I　feared　he　might　lose　the　wildness　that　he　would　need　to　survive　on　his　own。　Over　and　over　I　warned　him；　〃You　must　keep　yourself　hidden。　Every　man　is　a　danger　to　you；　as　is　every　hound。　You　must　keep　yourself　within　this　structure；　and　make　no　sound　if　anyone　is　near。〃
　　　　　　　At　first　it　was　easy　for　him　to　obey。　He　was　sadly　thin；　and　would　fall　immediately　upon　the　food　I　brought　and　devour　it　all。　Usually　he　was　asleep　in　his　bedding　before　I　left　the　cottage；　or　jealously　eyeing　me　as　he　lay　gnawing　a　treasured　bone。　But　as　he　was　fed　adequately；　and　had　room　to　move；　and　lost　his　fear　of　me；　the　innate　playfulness　of　a　cub　began　to　reassert　itself。　He　took　to　springing　upon　me　in　mock　attacks　as　soon　as　the　door　was　opened；　and　expressing　delight　in　knuckly　beef　bones　with　snarls　and　tusslings　inflicted　on　them。　When　I　rebuked　him　for　being　too　noisy；　or　for　the　tracks　that　betrayed　his　night　romp　in　the　snowy　field　behind　the　cottage；　he　would　cower　before　my　displeasure。
　　　　　　　But　I　noted　as　well　the　masked　savagery　in　his　eyes　at　those　times。　He　did　not　concede　mastery　to　me。　Only　a　sort　of　pack　seniority。　He　bided　his　time　until　his　decisions　should　be　his　own。　Painful　as　it　was　sometimes；　it　was　as　it　needed　to　be。　I　had　rescued　him　with　the　firm　intent　of　returning　him　to　freedom。　A　year　from　now；　he　would　be　but　one　more　wolf　howling　in　the　distance　at　night。　I　told　him　this　repeatedly。　At　first；　he　would　demand　to　know　when　he　would　be　taken　from　the　smelly　Keep　and　the　confining　stone　walls　that　fenced　it。　I　would　promise　him　soon；　as　soon　as　he　was　fed　to　strength　again；　as　soon　as　the　deepest　snows　of　winter　were　past　and　he　could　fend　for　himself。　But　as　weeks　passed；　and　the　storms　outside　reminded　him　of　the　snugness　of　his　bed　and　the　good　meat　filled　out　on　his　bones；　he　asked　less　often。　Sometimes　I　forgot　to　remind　him。
　　　　　　　Loneliness　ate　at　me　from　inside　and　out。　At　night　I　would　wonder　what　would　happen　if　I　crept　upstairs　and　knocked　at　Molly's　door。　By　day　I　held　myself　back　from　bonding　to　the　small　cub　who　depended　so　pletely　on　me。　There　was　only　one　other　creature　in　the　Keep　who　was　as　lonely　as　I　was。
　　　　　　　〃I　am　sure　you　have　other　duties。　Why　do　you　e　to　call　on　me　each　day？〃　Kettricken　asked　me　in　the　forthright　Mountain　way。　It　was　midmorning；　on　a　day　following　a　night　of　storm。　Snow　was　falling　in　fat　flakes；　and　despite　the　chill；　Kettricken　had　ordered　the　window　shutters　opened　so　she　might　watch　it。　Her　sewing　chamber　overlooked　the　sea；　and　I　thought　she　was　fascinated　by　the　immense　and　restless　waters。　Her　eyes　were　much　the　same　color　as　the　water　that　day。
　　　　　　　〃I　had　thought　to　help　time　pass　more　pleasantly　for　you；　my　queen…in…waiting。〃
　　　　　　　〃Passing　time。〃　She　sighed。　She　cupped　her　chin　in　her　hand　and　leaned　on　her　elbow　to　stare　pensively　out　at　the　falling　snow。　The　sea　wind　tangled　in　her　pale　hair。　〃It　is　an　odd　language；　yours。　You　speak　of　passing　time　as　in　the　Mountains　we　speak　of　passing　wind。　As　if　it　were　a　thing　to　be　gotten　rid　of。〃
　　　　　　　Her　little　maid　Rosemary；　seated　at　her　feet；　giggled　into　her　hands。　Behind　us；　her　two　ladies　tittered　apprehensively；　then　bent　their　heads　industriously　over　their　needlework　again。　Kettricken　herself　had　a　large　embroidery　frame　set　up；　with　the　beginning　of　mountains　and　a　waterfall　in　it。　I　had　not　noticed　her　making　much　progress　on　it。　Her　other　ladies　had　not　presented　themselves　today；　but　had　sent　pages　with　excuses　as　to　why　they　could　not　attend　her。　Headaches；　mostly。　She　did　not　seem　to　understand　that　she　was　being　slighted　by　their　inattention。　I　did　not　know　how　to　explain　it　to　her；　and　on　some　days　I　wondered　if　I　should。　Today　was　one　of　those　days。
　　　　　　　I　shifted　in　my　chair　and　crossed　my　legs　the　other　way。　〃I　meant　only　that　in　winter；　Buckkeep　can　bee　a　tedious　place。　The　weather　keeps　us　within　doors　so　much；　there　is　little　that　is　amusing。〃
　　　　　　　〃That　is　not　the　case　down　at　the　shipwrights'　sheds；〃　she　informed　me。　Her　eyes　got　a　strangely　hungry　look。　〃There　it　is　all　a　bustle；　with　every　bit　of　daylight　used　in　the　setting　of　the　great　timbers　and　the　bending　of　the　planks。　Even　when　the　day　is　dim　or　wild　with　storm；　within　the　sheds　shipbuilders　are　still　hewing　and　shaping　and　planing　wood。　At　the　metal　forges；　they　make　chains　and　anchors。　Some　weave　stout　canvas　for　sails；　and　others　cut　and　sew　it。　Verity　walks　about　there；　overseeing　it　all。　While　I　sit　here　with　fancywork；　and　prick　my　fingers　and　strain　my　eyes　to　knot　in　flowers　and　birds'　eyes。　So　that　when　I　am　finished；　it　can　be　set　aside　with　a　dozen　other　pretty　works。〃
　　　　　　　〃Oh；　not　set　aside；　no；　never；　my　lady；〃　one　of　her　women　burst　in　impulsively。　〃Why；　your　needlework　is　much　treasured　when　you　gift　it　out。　In　Shoaks　there　is　a　framed　bit　in　Lord　Shemshy's　private　chambers；　and　Duke　Kelvar　of　Rippon…〃
　　　　　　　Kettricken's　sigh　cut　short　the　woman's　pliment。　〃I　would　I　worked　at　a　sail　instead；　with　a　great　iron　needle　or　a　wooden　fid；　to　grace　one　of　my　husband's　ships。　There　would　be　a　work　that　was　worthy　of　my　time；　and　his　respect。　Instead；　I　am　given　toys　to　amuse　me；　as　if　I　were　a　spoiled　child　that　did　not　understand　the　value　of　time　well　spent。〃　She　turned　back　to　her　window。　I　noticed　then　that　the　smoke　rising　from　the　shipyards　was　as　easily　visible　as　the　sea。　Perhaps　I　had　mistaken　the　direction　of　her　attention。
　　　　　　　〃Shall　I　send　for　tea　and　cakes；　my　lady？〃　one　of　her　ladies　inquired　hopefully。　Both　of　them　sat　with　their　shawls　pulled　up　over　their　shoulders。　Kettricken　did　not　appear　to　notice　the　chill　sea　air　spilling　in　the　open　window；　but　it　could　not　have　been　pleasant　for　those　two　to　sit　and　ply　their　needles　in　it。
　　　　　　　〃If　you　wish　them；〃　Kettricken　replied　disinterestedly。　〃I　do　not　hunger　or　thirst。　Indeed；　I　fear　I　will　grow　fat　as　a　penned　goose；　sitting　at　needlework　and　nibbling　and　sipping　all　day。　I　long　to　do　something　of　significance。　Tell　me　true；　Fitz。　If　you　did　not　feel　required　to　call　upon　me；　would　you　be　sitting　idly　in　your　chambers？　Or　doing　fancywork　at　a　loom？〃
　　　　　　　〃No。　But　then；　I　am　not　the　Queen…in…Waiting。〃
　　　　　　　〃Waiting。　Ah；　I　understand　well　now　that　part　of　my　title。〃　A　bitterness　I　had　never　heard　from　her　before　crept　into　her　voice。　〃But　Queen？　In　my　land；　as　well　you　know；　we　do　not　say　Queen。　Were　I　there　now；　and　ruling　instead　of　my　father；　I　would　be　called　Sacrifice。　More；　I　would　be　Sacrifice。　To　whatever　was　to　the　good　of　my　land　and　my　people。〃
　　　　　　　〃Were　you　there　now；　in　the　deep　of　winter；　what　would　you　be　doing？〃　I　asked；　thinking　only　to　find　a　more　fortable　area　of　conversation。　It　was　a　mistake。
　　　　　　　She　grew　silent　and　stared　out　the　window。　〃In　the　Mountains；〃　she　said　softly；　〃there　was　never　time　to　be　idle。　I　was　the　younger　of　course；　and　most　of　the　duties　of　Sacrifice　fell　upon　my　father　and　my　older　brother。　But；　as　Jonqui　says；　there　is　always　enough　work　to　go　'round　and　some　to　spare。　Here；　in　Buckkeep；　all　is　done　by　servants；　out　of　sight；　and　one　sees　only　the　results；　the　tidied　chamber；　the　meal　on　the　table。　Perhaps　it　is　because　this　is　such　a　populous　place。〃
　　　　　　　She　paused　a　moment　and　her　eyes　went　afar。　〃In　Jhaampe；　in　winter；　the　hall　and　the　town　itself　grow　quiet。　Snows　fall　thick　and　heavy；　and　great　cold　closes　in　on　the　land。　The　lesser…used　trails　disappear　for　the　winter。　Wheels　are　replaced　by　runners。　Visitors　to　the　city　have　long　gone　home　by　now。　In　the　palace　at　Jhaampe；　there　is　only　the　family；　and　those　who　choose　to　stay　and　help　them。　Not　serve　them；　no；　not　exactly。　You　have　been　to　Jhaampe。　You　know　there　are　no　ones　who　only　serve；　save　for　the　royal　family。　In　Jhaampe；　I　would　rise　early；　to　fetch　the　water　for　the　household　porridge；　and　to　take　my　turn　at　the　stirring　of　the　kettle。　Keera　and　Sennick　and　Jofron　and　I　would　make　the　kitchen　lively　with　talk。　And　all　the　young　ones　dashing　about；　bringing　in　the　firewood　and　setting　out　the　plates　and　talking　of　a　thousand　things。〃　Her　voice　faltered；　and　I　listened　to　the　silence　of　her　loneliness。
　　　　　　　After　a　bit　she　went　on：　〃If　there　was　work　to　be　done；　heavy　or　light；　we　all　joined　in　it。　I　have　helped　to　bend　and　lash　the　branches　for　a　barn。　Even　in　the　deep　of　winter；　I　have　helped　to　clear　snow　and　raise　new　roof　arches　for　a　family　devastated　by　a　fire。　Do　you　think　a　Sacrifice　cannot　hunt　down　a　cranky　old　bear　that　has　turned　to　killing　goats；　or　strain　against　a　rope　to　help　brace　a　bridge　battered　by　floodwaters？〃　She　looked　at　me　with　real　pain　in　her　eyes。
　　　　　　　〃Here；　in　Buckkeep；　we　do　not　risk　our　queens；〃　I　told　her　simply。　〃Another　shoulder　can　brace　a　rope；　we　have　dozens　of　hunters　who　would　vie　for　the　honor　of　dispatching　a　cattle　killer。　We　have　but　one　Queen。　There　are　things　a　Queen　can　do　that　no　other　can。〃
　　　　　　　Behind　us　in　the　room；　her　ladies　had　all　but　forgotten　her。　One　had　summoned　a　page；　and　he　had　returned　with　sweet　cakes　and　steaming　tea　in　a　pot。　They　chatted　together；　warming　their　hands　about　their　teacups。　Briefly　I　looked　at　them；　to　remember　well　what　ladies　had　chosen　to　attend　their　queen。　Kettricken；　I　was　ing　to　see；　might　not　be　the　easiest　of　Queens　to　attend　upon。　Kettricken's　little　maid；　Rosemary；　sat　on　the　floor　by　the　tea…table；　dreamy…eyed；　a　sweet　cake　clasped　in　her　small　hands。　I　suddenly　wished　I　were　eight　years　old　again　and　could　join　her　there。
　　　　　　　〃I　know　what　you　speak　of；〃　Kettricken　said　bluntly。　〃I　am　here　to　bear　an　heir　to　Verity。　It　is　a　duty　I　do　not　avoid；　for　I　do　not　consider　it　a　duty；　but　a　pleasure。　I　only　wish　I　were　sure　my　lord　shared　my　sentiments。　Always　he　is　away　and　about　the　town　on　business。　I　know　where　he　is　today；　down　there；　watching　his　ships　arise　from　planks　and　timbers。　Could　I　not　be　with　him　with　no　danger　to　myself？　Surely；　if　only　I　can　bear　his　heir；　only　he　can　sire　it。　Why　must　I　be　confined　here　while　he　immerses　himself　in　the　task　of　protecting　our　people？　That　is　a　task　I　should　be　sharing　as　Sacrifice　for　the　Six　Duchies。〃
　　　　　　　Accustomed　as　I　had　bee　to　Mountain　forthrightness　in　my　time　there；　I　was　still　shocked　at　how　bluntly　she　spoke。　It　made　me　overbold　in　my　reply。　I　found　myself　rising　to　lean　past　her　and　pull　the　shutters　tight　over　the　drafty　window。　I　took　advantage　of　the　closeness　to　whisper　fiercely；　〃If　you　think　that　is　the　only　duty　that　our　queens　bear；　you　are　gravely　mistaken；　my　lady。　To　speak　as　plainly　as　you　have；　you　neglect　your　duties　to　your　ladies；　who　are　here　this　day　only　to　attend　upon　you　and　converse　with　you。　Think。　Could　they　not　be　doing　this　same　needlework　in　the　coziness　of　their　own　chambers；　or　in　the　pany　of　Mistress　Hasty？　You　sigh　after　what　you　perceive　as　a　more　important　task；　but　before　you　is　a　task　the　King　himself　cannot　do。　You　are　here　to　do　it。　Rebuild　the　court　at　Buckkeep。　Make　it　a　desirable　and　attractive　place　to　be。　Encourage　his　lord　and　ladies　to　vie　for　his　attention；　make　them　eager　to　support　him　in　his　endeavors。　It　has　been　long　since　there　was　a　congenial　Queen　in　this　castle。　Instead　of　looking　down　at　a　ship　that　other　hands　are　mo