rh.royalassassin-第57章

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cords　are　another　race；　an　exceedingly　long…lived　one。　A　pale　lovely　race；　that　occasionally　mingled　its　bloodlines　with　that　of　men。　And　then！　〃　He　spun　in　a　circle；　suddenly　fey；　pleased　insufferably　with　himself。　〃And　then；　when　certain　ones　were　born；　ones　marked　so　clearly　that　history　must　recall　them；　they　are　called　to　step　forward；　to　find　their　places　in　that　future　history。　And　they　might　further　be　exhorted　to　examine　that　place；　that　juncture　of　a　hundred　threads；　and　say；　these　threads；　here；　these　are　the　ones　I　shall　tweak；　and　in　the　tweaking；　I　shall　change　the　tapestry；　I　shall　warp　the　weft；　alter　the　color　of　what　is　to　e。　I　shall　change　the　destiny　of　the　world。〃
　　　　　　　He　was　mocking　me。　I　was　certain　of　it　now。　〃Once；　in　perhaps　a　thousand　years；　there　may　e　a　man　capable　of　making　such　a　great　change　in　the　world。　A　powerful　King；　perhaps；　or　a　philosopher；　shaping　the　thoughts　of　thousands。　But　you　and　I；　Fool？　We　are　pawns。　Ciphers。〃
　　　　　　　He　shook　his　head　pityingly。　〃This；　more　than　anything　else；　is　what　I　have　never　understood　about　your　people。　You　can　roll　dice；　and　understand　that　the　whole　game　may　hinge　on　one　turn　of　a　die。　You　deal　out　cards；　and　say　that　all　a　man's　fortune　for　the　night　may　turn　upon　one　hand。　But　a　man's　whole　life；　you　sniff　at；　and　say；　what；　this　naught　of　a　human；　this　fisherman；　this　carpenter；　this　thief；　this　cook；　why；　what　can　they　do　in　the　great　wide　world？　And　so　you　putter　and　sputter　your　lives　away；　like　candles　burning　in　a　draft。〃
　　　　　　　〃Not　all　men　are　destined　for　greatness；〃　I　reminded　him。
　　　　　　　〃Are　you　sure；　Fitz？　Are　you　sure？　What　good　is　a　life　lived　as　if　it　made　no　difference　at　all　to　the　great　life　of　the　world？　A　sadder　thing　I　cannot　imagine。　Why　should　not　a　mother　say　to　herself；　if　I　raise　this　child　aright；　if　I　love　and　care　for　her；　she　shall　live　a　life　that　brings　joy　to　those　about　her；　and　thus　I　have　changed　the　world？　Why　should　not　the　farmer　that　plants　a　seed　say　to　his　neighbor；　this　seed　I　plant　today　will　feed　someone；　and　that　is　how　I　change　the　world　today？〃
　　　　　　　〃This　is　philosophy；　Fool。　I　have　never　had　time　to　study　such　things。〃
　　　　　　　〃No；　Fitz；　this　is　life。　And　no　one　has　time　not　to　think　of　such　things。　Each　creature　in　the　world　should　consider　this　thing；　every　moment　of　the　heart's　beating。　Otherwise；　what　is　the　point　of　arising　each　day？〃
　　　　　　　〃Fool；　this　is　beyond　me；〃　I　declared　uneasily。　I　had　never　seen　him　so　impassioned；　never　heard　him　speak　so　plainly。　It　was　as　if　I　had　stirred　gray…coated　embers　and　suddenly　found　the　cherry…red　coal　that　glowed　in　their　depths。　He　burned　too　brightly。
　　　　　　　〃No；　Fitz。　I　have　e　to　believe　it　is　through　you。〃　He　reached　out　and　tapped　me　lightly　with　Ratsy。　〃Keystone。　Gate。　Crossroads。　Catalyst。　All　these　you　have　been；　and　continue　to　be。　Whenever　I　e　to　a　crossroads；　whenever　the　scent　is　uncertain；　when　I　put　my　nose　to　the　ground；　and　cast　about　and　bay　and　snuffle；　I　find　one　scent。　Yours。　You　create　possibilities。　While　you　exist；　the　future　can　be　steered。　I　came　here　for　you；　Fitz。　You　are　the　thread　I　tweak。　One　of　them；　anyway。　〃
　　　　　　　I　felt　a　sudden　chill　of　foreboding。　Whatever　more　he　had　to　say；　I　did　not　wish　to　hear　it。　Somewhere；　far　away；　a　thin　howl　arose。　A　wolf　baying　in　midday。　A　shiver　ran　up　me；　setting　up　every　hair　on　my　body。　〃You've　had　your　joke；〃　I　said；　laughing　nervously。　〃I　should　have　known　better　than　to　expect　a　real　secret　from　you。〃
　　　　　　　〃You。　Or　not　you。　Linchpin；　anchor；　knot　in　the　line。　I　have　seen　the　end　of　the　world；　Fitz。　Seen　it　woven　as　plainly　as　I've　seen　my　birth。　Oh；　not　in　your　lifetime；　nor　even　mine。　But　shall　we　be　happy；　to　say　that　we　live　in　the　dusk　rather　than　in　the　full　night？　Shall　we　rejoice　that　we　shall　only　suffer；　while　your　offspring　will　be　the　ones　to　know　the　torments　of　the　damned？　Shall　this　be　why　we　do　not　act？〃
　　　　　　　〃Fool。　I　wish　not　to　hear　this。〃
　　　　　　　〃You　had　a　chance　to　deny　me。　But　thrice　you　demanded　it；　and　hear　it　you　shall。〃　He　lifted　his　staff　as　if　leading　a　charge；　and　spoke　as　if　he　addressed　the　full　Council　of　the　Six　Duchies。　〃The　fall　of　the　Kingdom　of　the　Six　Duchies　was　the　pebble　that　started　the　landslide。　The　soulless　ones　moved　on　from　there；　spreading　like　a　bloodstain　down　the　world's　best　shirt。　Darkness　devours；　and　is　never　satiated　until　it　feeds　upon　itself。　And　all　because　the　line　of　House　Farseer　failed。　That　is　the　future　as　it　is　woven。　But　wait！　Farseer？〃　He　cocked　his　head　and　peered　at　me；　considering　as　a　gore…crow。　〃Why　do　they　call　you　that；　Fitz？　What　have　your　ancestors　ever　foreseen　afar　to　gain　such　a　name？　Shall　I　tell　you　how　it　es　about？　The　very　name　of　your　house　is　the　future　reaching　back　in　time　to　you；　and　naming　you　by　the　name　that　someday　your　house　will　deserve。　The　Farseers。　That　was　the　clue　I　took　to　my　heart。　That　the　future　reached　back　to　you；　to　your　house；　to　where　your　bloodlines　intersected　with　my　lifetime；　and　named　you　so。　I　came　here；　and　what　did　I　discover？　One　Farseer；　with　no　name　at　all。　Unnamed　in　any　history；　past　or　future。　But　I　have　seen　you　take　a　name；　FitzChivalry　Farseer。　And　I　shall　see　that　you　deserve　it。〃　He　advanced　on　me；　seized　me　by　the　shoulders。　〃We　are　here；　Fitz；　you　and　I；　to　change　the　fixture　of　the　world。　To　reach　out　and　hold　in　place　the　tiny　pebble　that　could　trigger　the　boulder's　tumbling。〃
　　　　　　　〃No。〃　A　terrible　cold　was　welling　up　inside　me。　I　shook　with　it。　My　teeth　began　to　chatter；　and　the　bright　motes　of　light　to　sparkle　at　the　edges　of　my　vision。　A　fit。　I　was　going　to　have　another　fit。　Right　here；　in　front　of　the　Fool。　〃Leave！〃　I　cried　out；　unable　to　abide　the　thought。　〃Go　away。　Now！　Quickly。　Quickly！　〃
　　　　　　　I　had　never　seen　the　Fool　astonished　before。　His　jaw　actually　dropped　open；　revealing　his　tiny　white　teeth　and　pale　tongue。　A　moment　longer　he　gripped　me；　and　then　he　let　go。　I　did　not　stop　to　think　of　what　he　might　feel　at　my　abrupt　dismissal。　I　snatched　the　door　open　and　pointed　out　it；　and　he　was　gone。　I　shut　it　behind　him；　latched　it；　and　then　staggered　to　my　bed　as　wave　after　wave　of　darkness　surged　through　me。　I　fell　facedown　on　the　coverlets。　〃Molly！〃　I　cried　out。　〃Molly；　save　me！〃　But　I　knew　she　could　not　hear　me；　and　I　sank　alone　into　my　blackness。
　　　　　　　The　brightness　of　a　hundred　candles；　festoons　of　evergreen　and　swags　of　holly　and　bare　black　winter　branches　hung　with　sparkling　sugar　candies　to　delight　the　eye　and　tongue。　The　clacking　of　the　puppets'　wooden　swords　and　the　delighted　exclamations　of　the　children　when　the　Piebald　Prince's　head　actually　came　flying　off　and　arced　out　over　the　crowd。　Mellow's　mouth　wide　in　a　bawdy　song　as　his　unattended　fingers　danced　independently　over　his　harp　strings。　A　blast　of　cold　as　the　great　doors　of　the　hall　were　thrown　open　and　yet　another　group　of　merrymakers　came　into　the　Great　Hall　to　join　us。　The　slow　knowledge　stole　over　me　that　this　was　no　longer　a　dream；　this　was　Winterfest；　and　I　was　wandering　benignly　through　the　celebration；　smiling　blandly　at　everyone　and　seeing　no　one。　I　blinked　my　eyes　slowly。　I　could　do　nothing　quickly。　I　was　wrapped　in　soft　wool；　I　was　drifting　like　an　unmanned　sailboat　on　a　still　day。　A　wonderful　sleepiness　filled　me。　Someone　touched　my　arm。　I　turned。　Burrich　frowning　and　asking　me　something。　His　voice；　always　so　deep；　almost　a　color　washing　against　me　when　he　spoke。　〃It's　all　good；〃　I　told　him　calmly。　〃Don't　worry；　it's　all　good。〃　I　floated　away　from　him；　wafting　through　the　room　with　the　milling　of　the　crowd。
　　　　　　　King　Shrewd　sat　on　his　throne；　but　I　knew　now　that　he　was　made　of　paper。　The　Fool　sat　on　the　step　by　his　feet　and　clutched　his　rat　scepter　like　an　infant　clutches　a　rattle。　His　tongue　was　a　sword；　and　as　the　King's　enemies　drew　closer　to　the　throne；　the　Fool　slew　them；　slashed　them　to　bits；　and　turned　them　back　from　the　paper　man　on　the　throne。
　　　　　　　And　here　were　Verity　and　Kettricken　on　another　dais；　pretty　as　the　Fool's　doll；　each　of　them。　I　looked　and　saw　they　were　both　made　of　hungers；　like　containers　made　of　emptiness。　I　felt　so　sad；　I'd　never　be　able　to　fill　either　of　them；　for　they　were　both　so　terribly　empty。　Regal　came　to　speak　to　them；　and　he　was　a　big　black　bird；　not　a　crow；　no；　not　so　merry　as　a　crow；　and　not　a　raven；　he　hadn't　the　cheery　cleverness　of　a　raven；　no；　a　miserable　eye…pecker　of　a　bird；　circling；　circling；　dreaming　of　them　as　carrion　for　himself　to　feast　on。　He　smelled　of　carrion；　and　I　covered　my　mouth　and　nose　with　a　hand　and　walked　away　from　them。
　　　　　　　I　sat　down　on　a　hearth；　next　to　a　giggling　girl；　happy　in　her　blue　skirts。　She　chattered　like　a　squirrel　and　I　smiled　at　her；　and　soon　she　leaned　against　me　and　began　to　sing　a　funny　little　song　about　three　milkmaids。　There　were　others　sitting　and　standing　about　the　hearth；　and　they　joined　in　the　song。　We　all　laughed　at　the　end；　but　I　wasn't　sure　why。　And　her　hand　was　warm；　resting　so　casually　on　my　thigh。
　　　　　　　Brother；　are　you　mad？　Have　you　eaten　fishbones；　are　you　burned　by　fever？
　　　　　　　〃Huh？〃
　　　　　　　Your　mind　is　clouded。　Your　thoughts　are　bloodless　and　sickly。　You　move　like　prey。
　　　　　　　〃I　feel　fine。〃　。
　　　　　　　〃Do　you；　sir？　Then　I　do；　too。〃　She　smiled　up　at　me。　Chubby　little　face；　dark　eyes；　curly　hair　peeking　out　from　under　her　cap。　Verity　would　like　this　one。　She　patted　my　leg　panionably。　A　bit　higher　than　she　had　touched　me　before。
　　　　　　　〃FitzChivalry！　〃
　　　　　　　I　looked　up　slowly。　Patience　was　standing　over　me；　with　Lacey　at　her　elbow。　I　smiled　to　see　her　there。　She　so　seldom　came　out　of　her　rooms　to　socialize。　Especially　in　winter。　Winter　was　a　hard　time　for　her。　〃I　shall　be　so　glad　when　summer　returns；　and　we　can　walk　in　the　gardens　together；〃　I　told　her。
　　　　　　　She　looked　at　me　silently　for　a　moment。　〃I　have　something　heavy　I　wish　carried　up　to　my　rooms。　Will　you　bring　it　for　me？〃
　　　　　　　〃Certainly。〃　I　stood　carefully。　〃I　have　to　go；〃　I　told　the　little　servant　girl。　〃My　mother　needs　me。　I　liked　your　song。〃
　　　　　　　〃Good…bye；　sir！〃　she　chirped　at　me；　and　Lacey　glared　at　her。　Patience's　cheeks　were　very　rosy。　I　followed　her　through　the　ebb　and　press　of　folk。　We　came　to　the　foot　of　the　stairs。
　　　　　　　〃I　forget　how　to　do　these；〃　I　told　her。　〃And　where　is　the　heavy　thing　you　wish　carried？〃
　　　　　　　〃That　was　an　excuse　to　get　you　away　from　there　before　you　pletely　disgraced　yourself！〃　she　hissed　at　me。　〃What　is　the　matter　with　you？　How　could　you　behave　so　badly？　Are　you　drunk？〃
　　　　　　　I　thought　about　it。　〃Nighteyes　said　I　was　poisoned　by　fishbones。　But　I　feel　fine。〃
　　　　　　　Lacey　and　Patience　looked　at　me　very　carefully。　Then　they　each　took　an　arm　and　guided　me　upstairs。　Patience　made　tea。　I　talked　to　Lacey。　I　told　her　how　much　I　loved　Molly　and　that　I　was　going　to　marry　her　as　soon　as　the　King　said　I　could。　She　patted　my　hand　and　felt　my　forehead　and　asked　what　I'd　eaten　today　and　where。　I　couldn't　remember。　Patience　gave　me　tea。　Very　soon　I　puked。　Lacey　gave　me　cold　water。　Patience　gave　me　more　tea。　I　puked　again。　I　said　I　didn't　want　any　more　tea。　Patience　and　Lacey　argued。　Lacey　said　she　thought　I'd　be　all　right　after　I　slept。　She　took　me　back　to　my　room。
　　　　　　　I　woke　up　with　no　clear　idea　of　what　had　been　dream　and　what　had　been　real；　if　anything。　My　enti