rh.royalassassin-第80章

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！


seen　Celerity。　She's　beautiful。　I　even　made　an　excuse　to　speak　to　her　。。。。　I　asked　if　they　needed　more　candles　for　their　rooms　。。。。　She　spoke　back；　shyly；　but　courteously。　She　even　thanked　me　for　being　concerned；　as　few　here　thank　servants。　She's　。。。　she's　nice。　A　Lady。　Oh；　they'll　never　give　you　permission　to　marry　me。　Why　would　you　want　to　marry　a　servant？〃
　　　　　　　〃You　are　not　a　servant　to　me；〃　I　said　quietly。　〃I　never　think　of　you　that　way。〃
　　　　　　　〃Then　what　am　I？　I　am　not　a　wife；〃　she　pointed　out　quietly。
　　　　　　　〃In　my　heart；　you　are；〃　I　said　miserably。　It　was　a　pitiful　fort　to　offer　her。　It　shamed　me　that　she　accepted　it；　and　came　to　rest　her　forehead　on　my　shoulder。　I　held　her　gently　for　a　few　moments；　then　pulled　her　into　a　warmer　embrace。　As　she　nestled　against　me　I　said　softly　into　her　hair；　〃There's　something　I　have　to　ask　you。〃
　　　　　　　〃What？〃
　　　　　　　〃Are　you　。。。　with　child？〃
　　　　　　　〃What？〃　She　pulled　back　from　me；　to　look　up　into　my　face。
　　　　　　　〃Are　you　carrying　my　child？〃
　　　　　　　〃I　。。。　no。　No；　I'm　not。〃　A　pause。　〃What　makes　you　ask　such　a　thing　all　of　a　sudden？〃
　　　　　　　〃It　just　occurred　to　me　to　wonder。　That's　all。　I　mean…〃
　　　　　　　〃I　know　what　you　mean。　If　we　were　married；　and　I　weren't　pregnant　by　now；　the　neighbors　would　be　shaking　their　heads　over　us。〃
　　　　　　　〃Really？〃　Such　a　thing　had　never　occurred　to　me　before。　I　knew　that　some　folk　wondered　if　Kettricken　were　barren；　as　she　had　not　conceived　in　over　a　year　of　marriage；　but　a　concern　over　her　childlessness　was　a　public　issue。　I　had　never　thought　of　neighbors　watching　newlyweds　expectantly。
　　　　　　　〃Of　course。　By　now；　someone　would　have　offered　me　a　tea　recipe　from　their　mother's　telling。　Or　powdered　boar's　tusk　to　slip　into　your　ale　at　night。〃
　　　　　　　〃Oh　really？〃　I　gathered　her　closer　to　me；　grinning　foolishly。
　　　　　　　〃Um。〃　She　smiled　back　up　at　me。　The　smile　faded　slowly。　〃As　it　is；〃　she　said　quietly；　〃there　are　other　herbs　I　take。　To　be　sure　that　I　do　not　conceive。〃
　　　　　　　I　had　all　but　forgotten　Patience　scolding　me　that　day。　〃Some　herbs　like　that；　I've　heard；　can　make　a　woman　ill；　if　she　takes　them　for　long。〃
　　　　　　　〃I　know　what　I'm　doing；〃　she　said　flatly。　〃Besides；　what　is　the　alternative？〃　she　added　with　less　heart。
　　　　　　　〃Disaster；〃　I　conceded。
　　　　　　　She　nodded　her　head　against　me。　〃Fitz。　If　I　had　said　yes　tonight。　If　I　were　pregnant　。。。　what　would　you　have　done？〃
　　　　　　　〃I　don't　know。　I　haven't　thought　about　it。〃
　　　　　　　〃Think　about　it　now；〃　she　begged　me。
　　　　　　　I　spoke　slowly。　〃I　suppose　I'd　。。。　get　a　place　for　you；　somehow；　somewhere。〃　（I'd　go　to　Chade；　I'd　go　to　Burrich；　and　I'd　beg　for　help。　Inwardly　I　blanched　to　think　of　it。）　〃A　safe　place。　Away　from　Buckkeep。　Upriver；　maybe。　I'd　e　to　see　you　when　I　could。　Somehow；　I'd　take　care　of　you。〃
　　　　　　　〃You'd　set　me　aside　is　what　you're　saying。　Me；　and　our　。。。　my　child。〃
　　　　　　　〃No！　I'd　keep　you　safe；　put　you　where　no　one　would　point　shame　at　you　or　mock　you　for　having　a　child　alone。　And　when　I　could；　I'd　e　to　you　and　our　child。〃
　　　　　　　〃Have　you　ever　considered　that　you　could　e　with　us？　That　we　could　leave　Buckkeep；　you　and　I；　and　go　upriver　now？〃
　　　　　　　〃I　can't　leave　Buckkeep。　I've　explained　that　to　you　every　way　I　know　how。〃
　　　　　　　〃I　know　you　have。　I've　tried　to　understand　it。　But　I　don't　see　why。〃
　　　　　　　〃The　work　I　do　for　the　King　is　such　that…〃
　　　　　　　〃Stop　doing　it。　Let　someone　else　do　it。　Go　away　with　me；　to　a　life　of　our　own。〃
　　　　　　　〃I　can't。　It's　not　that　simple。　I　wouldn't　be　allowed　to　just　leave　like　that。〃　Somehow；　we　had　e　uncoupled。　Now　she　folded　her　arms　across　her　chest。
　　　　　　　〃Verity's　gone。　Almost　no　one　believes　he's　ing　back。
　　　　　　　King　Shrewd　grows　more　feeble　each　day；　and　Regal　prepares　himself　to　inherit。　If　half　of　Regal's　feelings　for　you　are　what　you　say　they　are；　why　on　earth　would　you　wish　to　stay　here　with　him　as　king？　Why　would　he　want　to　keep　you　here？　Fitz；　can't　you　see　that　it's　all　tumbling　apart？　The　Near　Islands　and　Ferry　are　just　the　beginning。　The　Raiders　won't　stop　there。〃
　　　　　　　〃All　the　more　reason　for　me　to　stay　here。　To　work　and；　if　need　be；　fight　for　our　people。〃
　　　　　　　〃One　man　can't　stop　them；〃　Molly　pointed　out。　〃Not　even　a　man　as　stubborn　as　you。　Why　not　take　all　that　stubbornness　and　fight　for　us　instead？　Why　don't　we　run　away；　up　the　river　and　inland；　away　from　the　Raiders；　to　a　life　of　our　own？　Why　should　we　have　to　give　up　everything　for　a　hopeless　cause？〃
　　　　　　　I　couldn't　believe　what　I　was　hearing　from　her。　If　I　had　said　it；　it　would　have　been　treason。　But　she　said　it　as　if　it　were　the　monest　sense。　As　if　she　and　I　and　a　child　that　didn't　exist　yet　were　more　important　than　the　King　and　the　Six　Duchies　bined。　I　said　as　much。
　　　　　　　〃Well；〃　she　asked　me；　looking　at　me　levelly。　〃It's　true。　To　me。　If　you　were　my　husband　and　I　had　our　child；　that's　how　important　it　would　be　to　me。　More　important　than　the　whole　rest　of　the　world。〃
　　　　　　　And　what　was　I　to　say　to　that？　I　reached　for　the　truth；　knowing　it　wouldn't　satisfy　her。　〃You　would　be　that　important　to　me。　You　are　that　important　to　me。　But　it's　also　why　I　have　to　stay　here。　Because　something　that　important　isn't　something　you　run　away　and　hide　with。　It's　something　that　you　stand　and　defend。〃
　　　　　　　〃Defend？〃　Her　voice　went　up　a　notch。　〃When　will　you　learn　we　aren't　strong　enough　to　defend　ourselves？　I　know。　I've　stood　between　Raiders　and　children　of　my　own　blood；　and　just　barely　survived。　When　you've　done　that；　talk　to　me　about　defending！　〃
　　　　　　　I　was　silent。　Not　just　that　her　words　cut　me。　They　did；　and　deeply。　But　she　brought　back　to　me　a　memory　of　holding　a　child；　studying　the　blood　that　had　trickled　down　her　cooling。　arm。　I　couldn't　abide　the　thought　of　ever　doing　it　again。　But　it　could　not　be　fled。　〃There　is　no　running　away；　Molly。　We　either　stand　and　fight　here；　or　are　slaughtered　when　the　fighting　overtakes　us。〃
　　　　　　　〃Really？〃　she　asked　me　coldly。　〃It　isn't　just　your　putting　your　loyalty　to　a　King　ahead　of　what　we　have？〃　I　could　not　meet　her　eyes。　She　snorted。　〃You're　just　like　Burrich。　You　don't　even　know　how　much　you're　like　him！〃
　　　　　　　〃Like　Burrich？〃　I　was　left　floundering。　I　was　startled　that　she　said　it　at　all；　let　alone　that　she　said　it　as　if　it　were　a　fault。
　　　　　　　〃Yes。〃　She　was　decisive。
　　　　　　　〃Because　I　am　true　to　my　king？〃　I　was　still　grasping　at　straws。
　　　　　　　〃No！　Because　you　put　your　king　before　your　woman　。。。　or　your　love；　or　your　own　life。〃
　　　　　　　〃I　don't　know　what　you're　talking　about！〃
　　　　　　　〃There！　You　see！　You　really　don't。　And　you　go　about；　acting　like　you　know　all　these　great　things　and　secrets　and　every　important　thing　that　ever　happened。　So　answer　me　this。　Why　does　Patience　hate　Burrich？〃
　　　　　　　I　was　pletely　at　a　loss　now。　I　had　no　idea　how　this　figured　into　what　was　wrong　with　me。　But　I　knew　somehow　Molly　would　make　a　connection。　Gingerly　I　tried：　〃She　blames　him　for　me。　She　thinks　Burrich　led　Chivalry　into　bad　ways　。。。　and　hence　into　conceiving　me。〃
　　　　　　　〃There。　You　see。　That's　how　stupid　you　are。　It's　nothing　of　the　kind。　Lacey　told　me　one　night。　A　bit　too　much　elderberry　wine；　and　I　was　talking　of　you　and　she　of　Burrich　and　Patience。　Patience　loved　Burrich　first；　you　idiot。　But　he　wouldn't　have　her。　He　said　he　loved　her；　but　he　couldn't　marry　her；　even　if　her　father　would　give　consent　for　her　to　wed　beneath　her　station。　Because　he　was　already　sworn；　life　and　sword；　to　a　lord　of　his　own。　And　he　didn't　think　he　could　do　justice　to　both　of　them。　Oh；　he　said　he　wished　he　were　free　to　marry　her；　and　that　he　wished　he　hadn't　sworn　before　he'd　met　her。　But　all　the　same；　he　said　he　wasn't　free　to　marry　her　just　then。　He　said　something　stupid　to　her；　about　no　matter　how　willing　the　horse；　it　can　only　wear　one　saddle。　So　she　told　him；　well；　go　off；　then；　go　follow　this　lord　who's　more　important　to　you　than　I　am。　And　he　did。　Just　as　you　would；　if　I　told　you　that　you　had　to　choose。〃　There　were　two　spots　of　high　color　on　her　cheeks。　She　tossed　her　head　as　she　turned　her　back　on　me。
　　　　　　　So　there　was　the　connection　to　my　fault。　But　my　mind　was　reeling　as　bits　and　pieces　of　stories　and　ments　suddenly　fell　into　place。　Burrich's　tale　of　first　meeting　Patience。　She'd　been　sitting　in　an　apple　tree；　and　she'd　demanded　that　he　take　a　splinter　out　of　her　foot。　Scarcely　something　a　woman　would　ask　of　her　lord's　man。　But　something　a　direct　young　maid　might　ask　of　a　young　man　who　had　caught　her　eye。　And　his　reaction　the　night　I　had　spoken　to　him　about　Molly　and　Patience；　and　repeated　Patience's　words　about　horses　and　saddles。
　　　　　　　〃Did　Chivalry　know　anything　of　all　this？〃　I　asked。
　　　　　　　Molly　spun　about　to　consider　me。　It　was　obviously　not　the　question　she　had　expected　me　to　ask。　But　she　couldn't　resist　finishing　the　story　either。　〃No。　Not　at　first。　When　Patience　first　came　to　know　him；　she　had　no　idea　he　was　Burrich's　master。　Burrich　had　never　told　her　what　lord　he　was　sworn　to。　At　first　Patience　would　have　nothing　to　do　with　Chivalry。　Burrich　still　held　her　heart；　you　see。　But　Chivalry　was　stubborn。　From　what　Lacey　says；　he　loved　her　to　distraction。　He　won　her　heart。　It　wasn't　until　after　she　had　said　yes；　she'd　marry　him；　that　she　found　out　he　was　Burrich's　master。　And　only　because　Chivalry　sent　Burrich　to　deliver　a　special　horse　to　her。〃
　　　　　　　I　suddenly　remembered　Burrich　in　the　stable；　looking　at　Patience's　mount　and　saying；　〃I　trained　that　horse。〃　I　wondered　if　he'd　trained　Silk；　knowing　she　was　to　go　to　a　woman　he'd　loved；　as　a　gift　from　the　man　she'd　marry。　I'd　bet　it　was　so。　I　had　always　thought　that　Patience's　disdain　for　Burrich　was　a　sort　of　jealousy　that　Chivalry　could　care　so　much　for　him。　Now　the　triangle　was　an　even　stranger　one。　And　infinitely　more　painful。　I　closed　my　eyes　and　shook　my　head　at　the　unfairness　of　the　world。　〃Nothing　is　ever　simple　and　good；〃　I　said　to　myself。　〃There　is　always　a　bitter　peel；　a　sour　pip　somewhere。〃
　　　　　　　〃Yes。〃　Molly's　anger　seemed　suddenly　spent。　She　sat　down　on　the　bedside；　and　when　I　went　and　sat　beside　her；　she　didn't　push　me　away。　I　took　her　hand　and　held　it。　A　thousand　thoughts　cluttered　my　mind。　How　Patience　hated　Burrich's　drinking。　How　Burrich　had　recalled　her　lapdog；　and　how　she　always　carried　it　about　in　a　basket。　The　care　he　always　took　with　his　own　appearance　and　behavior。　〃Just　because　you　cannot　see　a　woman　does　not　mean　she　does　not　see　you。〃　Oh；　Burrich。　The　extra　time　he　still　took；　grooming　a　horse　that　she　seldom　rode　anymore。　At　least　Patience　had　had　a　marriage　to　a　man　she　loved；　and　some　years　of　happiness；　plicated　as　they　were　by　political　intrigues。　But　some　years　of　happiness；　anyway。　What　would　Molly　and　I　ever　have？　Only　what　Burrich　had　now？
　　　　　　　She　leaned　against　me　and　I　held　her　for　a　long　time。　That　was　all。　But　somehow　in　that　melancholy　holding　that　night；　we　were　closer　than　we　had　been　for　a　very　long　time。
　　　　　　　
　　　　　　　CHAPTER　TWENTY…ONE
　　　　　　　Dark　Days
　　　　　　　
　　　　　　　KING　EYOD　OF　the　Mountains　held　the　Mountain　throne　during　the　years　of　the　Red…Ships。　The　death　of　his　elder　son；　Rurisk；　had　left　his　daughter；　Kettricken；　sole　heir　to　the　Mountain　throne。　By　their　customs；　she　would　bee　queen　of　the　Mountains；　or　〃Sacrifice；　〃　as　that　people　call　it；　upon　the　demise　of　her　father。　Thus　her　marriage　to　Verity　ensured　not　only　t