pgw.uneasymoney-第21章

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　'Bless　him！'　said　Lady　Wetherby。　'I'd　no　idea　your　Dudley　had　so　much　imagination；　Claire。　He's　a　perfect　bomb…shell。'
　Claire　laughed　shakily。
　'It　is　odd；　though；'　said　Lady　Wetherby；　meditatively；　'that　this　man　should　have　said　that　he　knew　you；　when　you　don't'
　Claire　turned　impulsively。
　'Polly；　I　want　to　tell　you　something。　Promise　you　won't　tell　Dudley。　I　wasn't　telling　the　truth　just　now。　I　do　know　this　man。　I　was　engaged　to　him　once。'
　'What！'
　'For　goodness'　sake　don't　tell　Dudley！'
　'But'
　'It's　all　over　now；　but　I　used　to　be　engaged　to　him。'
　'Not　when　I　was　in　England？'
　'No；　after　that。'
　'Then　he　didn't　know　you　are　engaged　to　Dudley　now？'
　'N…no。　II　haven't　seen　him　for　a　long　time。'
　Lady　Wetherby　looked　remorseful。
　'Poor　man！　I　must　have　given　him　a　jolt！　But　why　didn't　you　tell　me　about　him　before？'　　'Oh；　I　don't　know。'
　'Oh；　well；　I'm　not　inquisitive。　There's　no　rubber　in　my　position。　It's　your　affair。'
　'You　won't　tell　Dudley？'
　'Of　course　not。　But　why　not？　You've　nothing　to　be　ashamed　of。'
　'No；　but'
　'Well；　I　won't　tell　him；　anyway。　But　I'm　glad　you　told　me　about　him。　Dudley　was　so　eloquent　about　burglars　that　he　almost　had　me　going。　I　wonder　where　he　rushed　off　to？'
　Dudley　Pickering　had　rushed　off　to　his　bedroom；　and　was　examining　a　revolver　there。　He　examined　it　carefully；　keenly。　Preparedness　was　Dudley　Pickering's　slogan。　He　looked　rather　like　a　stout　sheriff　in　a　film　drama。
　
　16
　In　the　interesting　land　of　India；　where　snakes　abound　and　scorpions　are　mon　objects　of　the　wayside；　a　native　who　has　had　the　misfortune　to　be　bitten　by　one　of　the　latter　pursues　an　admirably　mon…sense　plan。　He　does　not　stop　to　lament；　nor　does　he　hang　about　analysing　his　emotions。　He　runs　and　runs　and　runs；　and　keeps　on　running　until　he　has　worked　the　poison　out　of　his　system。　Not　until　then　does　he　attempt　introspection。
　Lord　Dawlish；　though　ignorant　of　this　fact；　pursued　almost　identically　the　same　policy。　He　did　not　run　on　leaving　Lady　Wetherby's　house；　but　he　took　a　very　long　and　very　rapid　walk；　than　which　in　times　of　stress　there　are　few　things　of　greater　medicinal　value　to　the　human　mind。　To　increase　the　similarity；　he　was　conscious　of　a　curious　sense　of　being　poisoned。　He　felt　stifledin　want　of　air。
　Bill　was　a　simple　young　man；　and　he　had　a　simple　code　of　ethics。　Above　all　things　he　prized　and　admired　and　demanded　from　his　friends　the　quality　of　straightness。　It　was　his　one　demand。　He　had　never　actually　had　a　criminal　friend；　but　he　was　quite　capable　of　intimacy　with　even　a　criminal；　provided　only　that　there　was　something　spacious　about　his　brand　of　crime　and　that　it　did　not　involve　anything　mean　or　underhand。　It　was　the　fact　that　Mr　Breitstein　whom　Claire　had　wished　him　to　insinuate　into　his　club；　though　acquitted　of　actual　crime；　had　been　proved　guilty　of　meanness　and　treachery；　that　had　so　prejudiced　Bill　against　him。　The　worst　accusation　that　he　could　bring　against　a　man　was　that　he　was　not　square；　that　he　had　not　played　the　game。
　Claire　had　not　been　square。　It　was　that；　more　than　the　shock　of　surprise　of　Lady　Wetherby's　news；　that　had　sent　him　striding　along　the　State　Road　at　the　rate　of　five　miles　an　hour；　staring　before　him　with　unseeing　eyes。　A　sudden　recollection　of　their　last　interview　brought　a　dull　flush　to　Bill's　face　and　accelerated　his　speed。　He　felt　physically　ill。
　It　was　not　immediately　that　he　had　arrived　at　even　this　sketchy　outline　of　his　feelings。　For　perhaps　a　mile　he　walked　as　the　scorpion…stung　natives　runblindly；　wildly；　with　nothing　in　his　mind　but　a　desire　to　walk　faster　and　faster；　to　walk　as　no　man　had　ever　walked　before。　And　thenone　does　not　wish　to　be　unduly　realistic；　but　the　fact　is　too　important　to　be　ignoredhe　began　to　perspire。　And　hard　upon　that　unrefined　but　wonder…working　flow　came　a　certain　healing　of　spirit。　Dimly　at　first　but　every　moment　more　clearly；　he　found　it　possible　to　think。
　In　a　man　of　Bill's　temperament　there　are　so　many　qualities　wounded　by　a　blow　such　as　he　had　received；　that　it　is　hardly　surprising　that　his　emotions；　when　he　began　to　examine　them；　were　mixed。　Now　one；　now　another；　of　his　wounds　presented　itself　to　his　notice。　And　then　individual　wounds　would　bee　difficult　to　distinguish　in　the　mass　of　injuries。　Spiritually；　he　was　in　the　position　of　a　man　who　has　been　hit　simultaneously　in　a　number　of　sensitive　spots　by　a　variety　of　hard　and　hurtful　things。　He　was　as　little　able；　during　the　early　stages　of　his　meditations；　to　say　where　he　was　hurt　most　as　a　man　who　had　been　stabbed　in　the　back；　bitten　in　the　ankle；　hit　in　the　eye；　smitten　with　a　blackjack；　and　kicked　on　the　shin　in　the　same　moment　of　time。　All　that　such　a　man　would　be　able　to　say　with　certainty　would　be　that　unpleasant　things　had　happened　to　him；　and　that　was　all　that　Bill　was　able　to　say。
　Little　by　little；　walking　swiftly　the　while；　he　began　to　make　a　rough　inventory。　He　sorted　out　his　injuries；　catalogued　them。　It　was　perhaps　his　self…esteem　that　had　suffered　least　of　all；　for　he　was　by　nature　modest。　He　had　a　savage　humility；　valuable　in　a　crisis　of　this　sort。
　But　he　looked　up　to　Claire。　He　had　thought　her　straight。　And　all　the　time　that　she　had　been　saying　those　things　to　him　that　night　of　their　last　meeting　she　had　been　engaged　to　another　man；　a　fat；　bald；　doddering；　senile　fool；　whose　only　merit　was　his　money。　Scarcely　a　fair　description　of　Mr　Pickering；　but　in　a　man　in　Bill's　position　a　little　bias　is　excusable。
　Bill　walked　on。　He　felt　as　if　he　could　walk　for　ever。　Automobiles　whirred　past；　hooting　peevishly；　but　he　heeded　them　not。　Dogs　trotted　out　to　exchange　civilities；　but　he　ignored　them。　The　poison　in　his　blood　drove　him　on。
　And　then　quite　suddenly　and　unexpectedly　the　fever　passed。　Almost　in　mid…stride　he　became　another　man；　a　healed；　sane　man；　keenly　aware　of　a　very　vivid　thirst　and　a　desire　to　sit　down　and　rest　before　attempting　the　ten　miles　of　cement　road　that　lay　between　him　and　home。　Half　an　hour　at　a　wayside　inn　pleted　the　cure。　It　was　a　weary　but　clear…headed　Bill　who　trudged　back　through　the　gathering　dusk。
　He　found　himself　thinking　of　Claire　as　of　someone　he　had　known　long　ago；　someone　who　had　never　touched　his　life。　She　seemed　so　far　away　that　he　wondered　how　she　could　ever　have　affected　him　for　pain　or　pleasure。　He　looked　at　her　across　a　chasm。　This　is　the　real　difference　between　love　and　infatuation；　that　infatuation　can　be　slain　cleanly　with　a　single　blow。　In　the　hour　of　clear　vision　which　had　e　to　him；　Bill　saw　that　he　had　never　loved　Claire。　It　was　her　beauty　that　had　held　him；　that　and　the　appeal　which　her　circumstances　had　made　to　his　pity。　Their　minds　had　not　run　smoothly　together。　Always　there　had　been　something　that　jarred；　a　subtle　antagonism。　And　she　was　crooked。
　Almost　unconsciously　his　mind　began　to　build　up　an　image　of　the　ideal　girl；　the　girl　he　would　have　liked　Claire　to　be；　the　girl　who　would　conform　to　all　that　he　demanded　of　woman。　She　would　be　brave。　He　realized　now　that；　even　though　it　had　moved　his　pity；　Claire's　querulousness　had　offended　something　in　him。
　He　had　made　allowances　for　her；　but　the　ideal　girl　would　have　had　no　need　of　allowances。　The　ideal　girl　would　be　plucky；　cheerfully　valiant；　a　fighter。　She　would　not　admit　the　existence　of　hard　luck。
　She　would　be　honest。　Here；　too；　she　would　have　no　need　of　allowances。　No　temptation　would　be　strong　enough　to　make　her　do　a　mean　act　or　think　a　mean　thought；　for　her　courage　would　give　her　strength；　and　her　strength　would　make　her　proof　against　temptation。　She　would　be　kind。　That　was　because　she　would　also　be　extremely　intelligent；　and；　being　extremely　intelligent；　would　have　need　of　kindness　to　enable　her　to　bear　with　a　not　very　intelligent　man　like　himself。　For　the　rest；　she　would　be　small　and　alert　and　pretty；　and　fair　hairedand　brown…eyedand　she　would　keep　a　bee　farm　and　her　name　would　be　Elizabeth　Boyd。
　Having　arrived　with　a　sense　of　mild　astonishment　at　this　conclusion；　Bill　found；　also　to　his　surprise；　that　he　had　walked　ten　miles　without　knowing　it　and　that　he　was　turning　in　at　the　farm　gate。　Somebody　came　down　the　drive；　and　he　saw　that　it　was　Elizabeth。
　She　hurried　to　meet　him；　small　and　shadowy　in　the　uncertain　light。　James；　the　cat；　stalked　rheumatically　at　her　side。　She　came　up　to　Bill；　and　he　saw　that　her　face　wore　an　anxious　look。　He　gazed　at　her　with　a　curious　feeling　that　it　was　a　very　long　time　since　he　had　seen　her　last。
　'Where　have　you　been？'　she　said；　her　voice　troubled。　'I　couldn't　think　what　had　bee　of　you。'
　'I　went　for　a　walk。'
　'But　you've　been　gone　hours　and　hours。'
　'I　went　to　a　place　called　Morrisville。'
　'Morrisville！'　Elizabeth's　eyes　opened　wide。　'Have　you　walked　twenty　miles？'
　'Why；　II　believe　I　have。'
　It　was　the　first　time　he　had　been　really　conscious　of　it。　Elizabeth　looked　at　him　in　consternation。　Perhaps　it　was　the　association　in　her　mind　of　unexpected　walks　with　the　newly…born　activities　of　the　repentant　Nutty　that　gave　her　the　feeling　that　there　must　be　some　mental　upheaval　on　a　large　scale　at　the　back　of　this　sudden　ebullition　of　long…distance　pedestrianism。　She　remembered　that　the　thought　had　e　to　her　once　or　twice　during　the　past　week　that　all　was　not　well　with　her　visitor；　and　that　he　had　seemed　downcast　and　out　of　spirits。
　She　hesitated。
　'Is　anything　the　matter；　Mr　Chalmers？'
　'No；'　said　Bill；　decidedly。　He　would　have　found　a　difficulty　in　making　that　answer　with　any　ring　of　conviction　earlier　in　the　day；　but　now　it　was　different。　There　was　nothing　whatever　the　matter　with　him　now。　He　had　never　felt　happier。
　'You're　sure？'
　'Absolutely。　I　feel　fine。'
　'I　thoughtI've　been　thinking　for　some　daysthat　you　might　be　in　trouble　of　some　sort。'
　Bill　swiftly　added　another　to　that　list　of　qualities　which　he　had　been　framing　on　his　homeward　journey。　That　girl　of　his　would　be　angelically　sympathetic。
　'It's　awfully　good　of　you；'　he　said；　'but　honestly　I　feel　likeI　feel　great。'
　The　little　troubled　look　passed　from　Elizabeth's　face。　Her　eyes　twinkled。
　'You're　really　feeling　happy？'
　'Tremendously。'
　'Then　let　me　damp　you。　We're　in　an　awful　fix！'
　'What！　In　what　way？'
　'About　the　monkey。'
　'Has　he　escaped？'
　'That's　the　troublehe　hasn't。'
　'I　don't　understand。'
　'e　and　sit　down　and　I'll　tell　you。　It's　a　shame　to　keep　you　standing　after　your　walk。'
　They　made　their　way　to　the　massive　stone　seat　which　Mr　Flack；　the　landlord；　had　bought　at　a　sale　and　dumped　in　a　moment　of　exuberance　on　the　farm　grounds。
　'This　is　the　most　hideous　thing　on　earth；'　said　Elizabeth　casually；　'but　it　will　do　to　sit　on。　Now　tell　me：　why　did　you　go　to　Lady　Wetherby's　this　afternoon？'
　It　was　all　so　remote；　it　seemed　so　long　ago　that　he　had　wanted　to　find　an　excuse　for　meeting　Claire　again；　that　for　a　moment　Bill　hesitated　in　actual　perplexity；　and　before　he　could　speak　Elizabeth　had　answered　the　question　for　him。
　'I　suppose　you　went　out　of　kindness　of　heart　to　relieve　the　poor　lady's　mind；'　she　said。　'But　you　certainly　did　the　wrong　thing。　You　started　something！'
　'I　didn't　tell　her　the　animal　was　here。'
　'What　did　you　tell　her？'
　'I　said　I　had　seen　it；　don't　you　know。'
　'That　was　enough。'
　'I'm　awfully　sorry。'
　'Oh；　we　shall　pull　through　all