cpike.thelastvampire-第8章

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　〃Fine；〃　he　says。
　〃Did　you　tell　her　you　were　ing　to　visit　me？〃
　He　lowers　his　head。　He　feels　a　twinge　of　guilt；　but　no　more。　〃I　told　her　I　was　tired　and　wanted　to　go　to　bed。〃
　〃You　can　sleep　here　if　you　want。　Once　you　bring　in　the　beds。〃
　My　boldness　startles　him。　〃My　father　would　wonder　where　I　was。〃
　〃I　have　a　phone。　You　can　call　him。〃　I　add；　〃What　does　your　father　do？〃
　〃He's　a　private　detective。〃
　〃Sounds　glamorous。　Do　you　want　to　call　him？〃
　Ray　catches　my　eye。　I　catch　his　in　return。　He　doesn't　flinch　as　his　father　did　under　my　scrutiny。　Ray　is　strong　inside。
　〃Let's　see　how　it　goes　and　how　late　it　gets；〃　Ray　says　carefully。
　He　sets　to　work。　Soon　he　is　huffing　and　puffing。　I　help　him；　but　only　a　little。　Nevertheless；　he　ments　on　my　strength。　I　tell　him　how　I　befriended　Seymour　and　he　is　interested。　Apparently　Seymour　is　a　friend　of　his　as　well。
　〃He's　probably　the　smartest　guy　in　the　school；〃　Rays　says；　lugging　in　a　couple　of　dining　room　chairs。　〃He's　only　sixteen　years　old　and　he'll　be　graduating　in　June。〃
　〃He　told　me　he　likes　to　write；〃　I　say。
　〃He's　an　incredible　writer。　He　let　Pat　read　a　couple　of　his　short　stories；　and　she　gave　them　to　me。　They　were　real　dark；　but　beautiful。　One　was　about　what　goes　on　in　the　space　between　moments　of　time。　It　was　called　'The　Second　Hand。'　He　had　this　character　who　suddenly　begins　to　live　between　the　moments；　and　finds　that　there　is　more　going　on　there　than　in　normal　time。〃
　〃Sounds　interesting。　What　made　the　story　dark？〃
　〃The　guy　was　in　the　last　hour　of　his　life。　But　it　took　him　a　year　to　live　it。〃
　〃Did　the　guy　know　it　was　his　last　hour？〃
　Ray　hesitates。　He　must　know　Seymour　is　not　well。　〃I　don't　know；　Lara。〃
　He　has　not　used　my　name　before。　〃Call　me　Sita；〃　I　say；　surprising　myself。
　He　raises　an　eyebrow。　〃A　nickname？〃
　〃Sort　of。　My　father　used　to　call　me　that。〃
　Ray　is　alert　to　my　change　of　tone；　for　I　have　allowed　sadness　to　enter　my　voice。　Or　maybe　it　is　the　sound　of　longing；　which　is　different　from　sorrow。　No　one　I　have　cared　about　has　used　my　real　name　in　thousands　of　years。　I　think　how　nice　it　will　be　to　have　Ray　say　it。
　〃How　long　will　your　family　be　in　Colorado？〃　Ray　asks。
　〃I　lied。　My　father's　not　there。　He's　dead。〃
　〃I'm　sorry。〃
　〃I　was　thinking　about　him　before　you　came。〃　I　sigh。　〃He　died　a　long　time　ago。〃
　〃How　did　he　die？〃
　〃He　was　murdered。〃
　Ray　makes　a　face。　〃That　must　have　been　terrible　for　you。　I　know　if　anything　ever　happened　to　my　father；　I　would　be　devastated。　My　mother　left　us　when　I　was　five。〃
　I　swallow　thickly。　By　the　strength　of　my　reaction；　I　realize　how　involved　I　have　allowed　myself　to　bee　with　the　boy。　All　because　he　has　Rama's　eyes？　There　is　more　to　it　than　that。　He　also　has　Rama's　voice。　No；　not　his　accent　surely…the　average　person　would　have　said；　had　they　heard　them　together；　that　they　sounded　nothing　alike。　But　to　me；　with　my　vampire　ears；　the　subtle　aspects　of　their　voices　are　almost　identical。　The　silence　between　their　syllables。　It　was　Rama's　deep　silence　that　initially　attracted　me　to　him。
　〃You　must　be　very　close〃　is　all　I　can　say。　But　I　know　I　will　have　to　bring　up　the　father　again　soon。　I　want　in　that　office　tonight。　I　just　hope　I　mopped　up　every　drop　of　blood。　I　have　no　wish　to　be　with　Ray　when　he　learns　the　truth。
　If　he　ever　does。
　I　let　him　finish　bringing　in　the　furniture；　which　takes　him　a　couple　of　hours；　although　it　took　me　less　than　twenty　minutes　to　put　it　in　the　garage。　It　is　after　midnight。　I　offer　him　another　glass　of　wine…a　large　glass…and　he　drinks　it　down　quick。　He　is　thirsty；　as　I　am　thirsty。　I　want　his　blood；　I　want　his　body。　Blood　drinking　and　sex　are　not　that　separate　in　my　mind。　Yet　I　am　no　black　widow。　I　do　not　mate　and　kill。　But　the　urges；　the　lusts…they　sometimes　e　together。　But　I　don't　want　to　hurt　this　young　man；　I　don't　want　any　harm　to　befall　him。　Yet　just　by　being　with　me　his　chances　of　dying　are　much　greater。　I　have　only　to　think　of　my　history；　and　of　the　person　who　stalks　me　now。　I　watch　as　Ray　sets　down　his　empty　glass。
　〃I　should　get　home；〃　he　says。
　〃You　can't　drive。〃
　〃Why　not？〃
　〃You're　drunk。〃
　〃I'm　not　drunk。〃
　I　smile。　〃I　gave　you　enough　alcohol　to　make　you　drunk。　Face　it；　boy；　you're　trapped　here　for　a　while。　But　if　you　want　to　sober　up　quick；　then　take　a　hot　tub　with　me。　You　can　sweat　the　alcohol　out　of　your　system。〃
　〃I　didn't　bring　my　suit。〃
　〃I　don't　own　a　suit；〃　I　say。
　He　is　interested…very…but　doubtful。　〃I　don't　know。〃
　I　step　over　and　rest　my　palms　on　his　sweaty　chest　His　muscles　are　well　developed。　It　would　be　fun　to　wrestle　with　him；　I　think；　especially　since　I　know　who　would　win。　I　look　up　into　his　eyes；　he　is　almost　a　head　taller　than　I。　He　looks　down　at　me；　and　he　feels　as　if　he　is　falling　into　my　eyes；　into　bottomless　wells　of　blue；　twin　skies　behind　which　the　eternal　black　of　space　hides。　The　realm　of　the　yakshinis。　He　senses　my　darkness　in　this　moment。　I　sense　other　things　about　him　and　feel　a　chill。　So　much　like　Rama；　this　boy。　He　haunts　me。　Could　it　be　true？　Those　words　of　Krishna's　that　Radha　had　told　me　about　love？
　〃Time　cannot　destroy　it。　I　am　that　love…time　cannot　touch　me。　Time　but　changes　the　form。　Somewhere　in　some　time　it　will　return。　When　you　least　expect　it；　the　face　of　a　loved　one　reappears。　Look　beyond　the　face　and…　〃
　Odd；　but　I　cannot　remember　the　last　part　of　it。　I　of　the　perfect　memory。
　〃I　will　not　tell　Pat；〃　I　say。　〃She　will　never　know。〃
　He　draws　in　a　breath。　〃I　don't　like　lying　to　her。〃
　〃People　always　lie　to　one　another。　It's　the　way　of　the　world。　Accept　it。　It　doesn't　mean　you　have　to　hurt　with　your　lies。〃　I　take　his　hands；　they　tremble　slightly；　but　his　eyes　remained　fastened　on　mine。　I　kiss　his　fingers　and　rub　them　on　my　cheek。　〃What　happens　with　me　will　not　hurt　her。〃
　He　smiles　faintly。　〃Is　that　a　lie　to　save　me　hurt？〃
　〃Maybe。〃
　〃Who　are　you？〃
　〃Sita。〃
　〃Who　is　Sita？〃
　〃I　told　you　already；　but　you　weren't　listening。　It　doesn't　matter。　e；　we'll　sit　in　the　water　together　and　I'll　rub　your　tired　muscles。　You'll　love　it。　I　have　strong　hands。〃
　Not　long　after；　we　are　naked　in　the　Jacuzzi　together。　I　have　had　many　lovers；　of　course；　both　male　and　female…thousands　actually…but　the　allure　of　the　flesh　has　yet　to　fade　in　me。　I　am　excited　as　Ray　sits　with　his　bare　back　to　me；　my　knees　lightly　hugging　his　rib　cage；　my　hands　kneading　deep　into　the　tissue　along　his　spine。　It　has　been　a　long　time　since　I　have　massaged　anybody　and　I　enjoy　it。　The　water　is　very　hot。　Steam　swirls　around　us　and　Ray's　skin　reddens。　But　he　says　he　likes　it　this　way；　so　hot　he　feels　he's　being　boiled　alive。　I；　of　course；　don't　mind　boiling　water。　I　lean　over　and　bite　him　gently　on　the　shoulder。
　〃Careful；〃　he　says。　He　does　not　want　me　to　leave　any　marks　for　Pat　to　find。
　〃It　will　be　gone　in　the　morning。〃　I　suck　a　few　drops　of　blood　from　his　wound。　Such　a　pleasant　way　to　spend　a　night。　The　blood　flows　like　an　elixir　down　my　throat；　making　me　want　more。　But　I　resist　the　urge。　I　pinch　the　tip　of　my　tongue　with　my　teeth　and　a　drop　of　blood　oozes　onto　the　small　bite。　It　vanishes　instantly。　I　return　to　my　massage。　〃Ray？〃　I　say。
　He　moans　with　pleasure。　〃Yes。〃
　〃You　can　make　love　to　me　if　you　want。〃
　He　moans　some　more。　〃You　are　an　amazing　girl；　Sita。〃
　I　turn　him　around；　slowly；　easily；　pleasurably。　He　tries　not　to　look　at　my　body　and　fails。　I　lean　over　and　kiss　him　hard　on　the　lips。　I　feel　what　he　feels。　His　initial　surprise…kissing　a　vampire　is　not　like　kissing　a　mortal。　Many　men　and　women　have　swooned　just　from　the　brush　of　my　lips。　Such　is　the　pleasure　I　can　give。　Yet　there　is　the　painful　side…my　kiss　often　sucks　the　breath　from　a　person；　even　when　I　don't　intend　it　to。　Inside；　I　feel　Ray's　heart　begin　to　pound。　I　release　him　before　there　is　any　danger。　The　later　it　gets；　the　more　I　vow　not　to　harm　him；　and　the　more　inevitable　it　seems。　He　hugs　me；　all　slippery　and　wet；　and　tries　to　catch　his　breath　while　resting　his　chin　on　my　shoulder。
　〃Are　you　choking　on　something？〃　I　ask。
　〃Yes。〃　He　coughs。　〃I　think　it's　you。〃
　I　chuckle　as　I　continue　to　stroke　his　back。　〃You　could　do　worse。〃
　〃You　are　not　like　any　girl　I've　ever　met。〃
　〃You　don't　want　just　any　girl；　Ray。〃
　He　sits　back；　my　naked　legs　still　around　him。　He　is　not　afraid　to　look　me　in　the　eyes。　〃I　don't　want　to　cheat　on　Pat。〃
　〃Tell　me　what　you　do　want。〃
　〃I　want　to　spend　the　night　with　you。〃
　〃A　paradox。　Which　one　of　us　is　going　to　win？〃　I　pause；　add；　〃I　am　a　master　at　keeping　secrets。　We　can　both　win。〃
　〃What　do　you　want　from　me？〃
　His　question　startles　me；　it　is　so　perceptive。　〃Nothing；〃　I　lie。
　〃I　think　you　want　something。〃
　I　smile。　〃There　is　your　body。〃
　He　has　to　smile；　I　sound　so　cute；　I　know。　But　he　is　not　dissuaded。　〃What　else　do　you　want？〃
　〃I'm　lonely。〃
　〃You　don't　look　lonely。〃
　〃I'm　not　when　I'm　looking　at　you。〃
　〃You　hardly　know　me。〃
　〃You　hardly　know　me。　Why　do　you　want　to　spend　the　night　with　me？〃
　〃There　is　your　body。〃　But　he　loses　his　smile　and　lowers　his　head。　〃There　is　something　else；　too。　When　you　look　at　me　I　feel…I　feel　you　are　seeing　something　nobody　else　sees。　You　have　such　amazing　eyes。〃
　I　pull　him　back　toward　me。　I　kiss　him。　〃That's　true。〃　I　kiss　him　again。　〃I　see　right　through　you。〃　Again；　another　kiss。　〃I　see　what　makes　you　tick。〃　A　fourth　time；　a　hard　kiss。　He　gasps　as　I　release　him。
　〃What　is　that？〃　he　asks；　sucking　in　a　breath。
　〃You　love　Pat；　but　you　crave　mystery。　Mystery　can　be　as　strong　as　love；　don't　you　think？　You　find　me　mysterious　and　you're　afraid　if　you　let　me　slip　away　you'll　regret　it　later。〃
　He　is　impressed。　〃That　is　how　I　feel。　How　did　you　know？〃
　I　laugh。　〃That　is　part　of　the　mystery。〃
　He　laughs　with　me。　〃I　like　you；　Sita；〃　he　says。
　I　stop　laughing。　His　remark…so　simple；　so　innocent…pierces　me　like　a　dagger。　No　one　in　many　years　has　said　something　as　charming　as　〃I　like　you〃　to　me。　The　sentiment　is　childish；　I　know；　but　it　is　there　nevertheless。　I　reach　to　kiss　him　again；　knowing　this　time　I　am　going　to　squeeze　him　so　tight　he　will　not　be　able　to　resist　making　love　to　me。　But　something　makes　me　stop。
　〃Look　beyond　the　face　and　you　will　see　me。〃
　Krishna's　words　to　Radha　that　she　has　given　to　me。　There　is　something　in　Ray's　eyes；　a　light　behind　them；　that　makes　me　reluctant　to　soil　them　with　my　touch。　I　feel　it　then；　that　I　am　a　creature　of　evil。　Inside　I　swear　at　Krishna。　Only　the　memory　of　him　can　make　me　feel　this　way。　Otherwise；　if　we　had　never　met；　I　would　not　care。
　〃I　care　about　you；　Ray。〃　I　turn　away。　〃e　on；　let's　get　out　and　get　dressed。　I　want　to　talk　to　you　about　some　things。〃
　Ray　is　shocked　at　my　sudden　withdrawal；　disappointed。
　But　I　sense　his　relief　as　well。
　Later　we　sit　on　the　floor　in　the　living　room　by　the　fire　and　finish　the　bottle　of　wine。　Alcohol　has　little　effect　on　me；　I　can　drink　a　dozen　truck　drivers　under　the　table。　We　talk　of　many　things　and　I　learn　more　details　of　Ray's　life。　He　plans　to　go　to　Stanford　the　next　fall　and　study　physics　and　art…an　odd　double　major　he　is　quick　to　admit。　The　tuition　at　Stanford　worries　him；　he　doesn't　know　if　his　father　can　afford　it。　He　should　be　worried；　I　think。　He　is　a　fan　of　modern　quantum　mechanics　and　abstract　art。　He　works　after　school　at　a　supermarket。　He　does