sidneysheldon.astrangerinthemirror-第21章

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rbo；　but　I　can't　waste　my　time　finding　out。　You　go　get　yourself　a　screen　credit　and　I'll　be　your　agent。〃　
　〃How　can　I　get　a　screen　credit　if　no　one　will　give　me　a　job？〃　
　He　nodded。　〃Yeah。　That's　the　problem。　Lots　of　luck。〃　
　There　was　only　one　agency　left　on　Jill's　list；　remended　by　a　girl　she　had　sat　next　to　at　the　Mayflower　Coffee　Shop　on　Hollywood　Boulevard。　The　Dunning　Agency　was　located　in　a　small　bungalow　off　La　Cienega　in　a　residential　area。　Jill　had　telephoned　for　an　appointment；　and　a　woman　had　told　her　to　e　in　at　six　o'clock。　Jill　found　herself　in　a　small　office　that　had　once　been　someone's　living　room。　There　was　an　old　scarred　desk　littered　with　papers；　a　fake…leather　couch　mended　with　white　surgical　tape　and　three　rattan　chairs　scattered　around　the　room。　A　tall；　heavyset　woman　with　a　pockmarked　face　came　out　of　another　room　and　said；　
　〃Hello。　Can　I　help　you？〃　
　〃I'm　Jill　Castle。　I　have　an　appointment　to　see　Mr。　Dunning。〃　
　〃Miss　Dunning；〃　the　woman　said。　〃That's　me。〃　
　〃Oh；〃　said　Jill；　in　surprise。　〃I'm　sorry；　I　thought　〃　
　The　woman's　laugh　was　warm　and　friendly。　〃It　doesn't　matter。〃　But　it　does　matter；　Jill　thought；　filled　with　a　sudden　excitement。　Why　hadn't　it　occurred　to　her　before？　A　woman　agent！　Someone　who　had　gone　through　all　the　traumas；　someone　who　would　understand　what　it　was　like　for　a　young　girl　just　starting　out。　She　would　be　more　sympathetic　than　any　man　could　ever　be。　
　〃I　see　you　brought　your　portfolio；〃　Miss　Dunning　was　saying。　〃May　I　look　at　it？〃　
　〃Certainly；〃　Jill　said。　She　handed　it　over。　The　woman　sat　down；　opened　the　portfolio　and　began　to　turn　the　pages；　nodding　approval。　〃The　camera　likes　you。〃　
　Jill　did　not　know　what　to　say。　〃Thank　you。〃　
　The　agent　studied　the　pictures　of　Jill　in　a　bathing　suit。　〃You've　got　a　good　figure。　That's　important。　Where　you　from？〃　
　〃Texas；〃　Jill　said。　〃Odessa。〃　
　〃How　long　have　you　been　in　Hollywood；　Jill？〃　
　〃About　two　months。〃　
　〃How　many　agents　have　you　been　to？〃　
　For　an　instant；　Jill　was　tempted　to　lie；　but　there　was　nothing　but　passion　and　understanding　in　the　woman's　eyes。　〃About　thirty；　I　guess。〃　
　The　agent　laughed。　〃So　you　finally　got　down　to　Rose　Dunnins。　Well；　you　could　have　done　worse。　I'm　not　MCA　or　William　Morris；　but　I　keep　my　people　working。〃　
　〃I　haven't　had　any　acting　experience。〃　
　The　woman　nodded；　unsurprised。　〃If　you　had；　you'd　be　at　MCA　or　William　Morris。　I'm　a　kind　of　breaking…in　station。　I　get　the　kids　with　talent　started；　and　then　the　big　agencies　snatch　them　away　from　me。〃　
　For　the　first　time　in　weeks；　Jill　began　to　feel　a　sense　of　hope。　〃Do　　do　you　think　you'd　be　interested　in　handling　me？〃　she　asked。　
　The　woman　smiled。　〃I　have　clients　working　who　aren't　half　as　pretty　as　you。　I　think　I　can　put　you　to　work。　That's　the　only　way　you'll　ever　get　experience；　right？〃　
　Jill　felt　a　glow　of　gratitude。　〃The　trouble　with　this　damned　town　is　that　they　won't　give　kids　like　you　a　chance。　All　the　studios　scream　that　they're　desperate　for　new　talent；　and　then　they　put　up　a　big　wall　and　won't　let　anybody　in。　Well；　we'll　fool　'em。　I　know　of　three　things　you　might　be　right　for。　A　daytime　soap；　a　bit　in　the　Toby　Temple　picture　and　a　part　in　the　new　Tessie　Brand　movie。〃　
　Jill's　head　was　spinning。　〃But　would　they　？〃　
　〃If　I　remend　you；　they'll　take　you。　I　don't　send　clients　who　aren't　good。　They're　just　bit　parts；　you　understand；　but　it　will　be　a　start。〃　
　〃I　can't　tell　you　how　grateful　I'd　be；〃　Jill　said。　　
　〃I　think　I've　got　the　soap…opera　script　here。〃　Rose　Dunning　lumbered　to　her　feet；　pushing　herself　out　of　her　chair；　and　walked　into　the　next　room；　beckoning　Jill　to　follow　her。　The　room　was　a　bedroom　with　a　double　bed　in　a　corner　under　a　window　and　a　metal　filing　cabinet　in　the　opposite　corner。　Rose　Dunning　waddled　over　to　the　filing　cabinet；　opened　a　drawer；　took　out　a　script　and　brought　it　over　to　Jill。　
　〃Here　we　are。　The　casting　director　is　a　good　friend　of　mine；　and　if　you　e　through　on　this；　he'll　keep　you　busy。〃　
　〃I'll　e　through；〃　Jill　promised　fervently。　
　The　agent　smiled　and　said；　〃Course；　I　can't　send　over　a　pig　in　a　poke。　Would　you　mind　reading　for　me？〃　
　〃No。　Certainly　not。〃　The　agent　opened　the　script　and　sat　down　on　the　bed。　〃Let's　read　this　scene。〃　
　Jill　sat　on　the　bed　next　to　her　and　looked　at　the　script。　
　〃Your　character　is　Natalie。　She's　a　rich　girl　who's　married　to　a　weakling。　She　desides　to　divorce　him；　and　he　won't　let　her。　You　make　your　entrance　here。〃　
　Jill　quickly　scanned　the　scene。　She　wished　she　had　had　a　chance　to　study　the　script　overnight　or　even　for　an　hour。　She　was　desperately　anxious　to　make　a　good　impression。　
　〃Ready？〃　
　〃I　　I　think　so；〃　Jill　said。　She　closed　her　eyes　and　tried　to　think　like　the　character。　A　rich　woman。　Like　the　mothers　of　the　friends　that　she　had　grown　up　with；　people　who　took　it　for　granted　that　they　could　have　anything　they　wanted　in　life；　believing　that　other　people　were　there　for　their　convenience。　The　Cissy　Toppings　of　the　world。　She　opened　her　eyes；　looked　down　at　the　script　and　began　to　read。　
　〃I　want　to　talk　to　you；　Peter。〃　
　〃Can't　it　wait？〃　That　was　Rose　Dunning；　cueing　her。　
　〃I'm　afraid　it's　waited　too　long　already。　I'm　catching　a　plane　for　Reno　this　afternoon。〃　
　〃Just　like　that？〃　
　〃No。　I've　been　trying　to　catch　that　plane　for　five　years；　Peter。　This　time　I'm　going　to　make　it。〃　
　Jill　felt　Rose　Dunning's　hand　patting　her　thigh。　
　〃That's　very　good；〃　the　agent　said；　approvingly。　〃Keep　reading。〃　She　let　her　hand　rest　on　Jill's　leg。　
　〃Your　problem　is　that　you　haven't　grown　up　yet。　You're　still　playing　games。　Well；　from　now　on；　you're　going　to　have　to　play　by　yourself。〃　
　Rose　Dunning's　hand　was　stroking　her　thigh。　It　was　disconcerting。　〃Fine。　Go　on；〃　she　said。　
　〃I　　I　don't　want　you　to　try　to　get　in　touch　with　me　ever　again。　Is　that　quite　clear？〃　
　The　hand　was　stroking　Jill　faster；　moving　toward　her　groin。　Jill　lowered　the　script　and　looked　at　Rose　Dunning。　The　woman's　face　was　flushed　and　her　eyes　had　a　glazed　look　in　them。　
　〃Keep　reading；〃　she　said　huskily。　
　〃I　　I　can't；〃　Jill　said。　〃If　you　〃　
　The　woman's　hand　began　to　move　faster。　〃This　is　to　get　you　in　the　mood；　darling。　It's　a　sexual　fight；　you　see。　I　want　to　feel　the　sex　in　you。〃　Her　hand　was　pressing　harder　now；　moving　between　Jill's　legs。　
　〃No！　〃　Jill　got　to　her　feet；　trembling。　Saliva　was　dribbling　out　of　the　corner　of　the　woman's　mouth。　
　〃Be　good　to　me　and　I'll　be　good　to　you。〃　Her　voice　was　pleading。　〃e　here；　baby。〃　She　held　out　her　arms　and　made　a　grab　for　her；　and　Jill　ran　out　of　the　office。　In　the　street　outside；　she　vomited。　Even　when　the　racking　spasms　were　over　and　her　stomach　had　quieted　down；　she　felt　no　better。　Her　headache　had　started　again。　It　was　not　fair。　The　headaches　didn't　belong　to　her。　They　belonged　to　Josephine　Czinski。　
　
　During　the　next　fifteen　months；　Jill　Castle　became　a　full…fledged　member　of　the　Survivors；　the　tribe　of　people　on　the　fringes　of　show　business　who　spent　years　and　sometimes　a　whole　lifetime　trying　to　break　into　the　Business；　working　at　other　jobs　temporarily。　The　fact　that　the　temporary　jobs　sometimes　lasted　ten　or　fifteen　years　did　not　discourage　them。　As　ancient　tribes　once　sat　around　long…ago　campfires　and　recounted　sagas　of　brave　deeds；　so　the　Survivors　sat　around　Schwab's　Drugstore；　telling　and　retelling　heroic　tales　of　show　business；　nursing　cups　of　cold　coffee　while　they　exchanged　the　latest　bits　of　inside　gossip。　They　were　outside　the　Business；　and　yet；　in　some　mysterious　fashion；　they　were　at　the　very　pulse　and　heartbeat　of　it。　They　could　tell　you　what　star　was　going　to　be　replaced；　what　producer　had　been　caught　sleeping　with　his　director；　what　network　head　was　about　to　be　kicked　upstairs。　They　knew　these　things　before　anyone　else　did；　through　their　own　special　kind　of　jungle　drums。　For　the　Business　was　a　jungle。　They　had　no　illusions　about　that。　Their　illusions　lay　in　another　direction。　They　thought　they　could　find　a　way　to　get　through　the　studio　gates；　scale　the　studio　walls。　They　were　artists；　they　were　the　Chosen。　Hollywood　was　their　Jericho　and　Joshua　would　blow　his　golden　trumpet　and　the　mighty　gates　would　fall　before　them　and　their　enemies　would　be　smitten；　and　lo；　Sam　Winters's　magic　wand　would　be　waved　and　they　would　be　wearing　silken　robes　and　be　Movie　Stars　and　adored　ever　after　by　their　grateful　public。　Amen。　The　coffee　at　Schwab's　was　heady　sacramental　wine；　and　they　were　the　Disciples　of　the　future；　huddling　together　for　fort；　warming　one　another　with　their　dreams；　on　the　very　brink　of　making　it。　They　had　met　an　assistant　director　who　told　them　a　producer　who　said　a　casting　director　who　promised　and　any　second　now；　and　the　reality　would　be　in　their　grasp。　In　the　meantime；　they　worked　in　supermarkets　and　garages　and　beauty　parlors　and　car　washes。　They　lived　with　each　other　and　married　each　other　and　divorced　each　other；　and　they　never　noticed　how　time　was　betraying　them。　They　were　unaware　of　the　new　lines　and　the　graying　temples；　and　the　fact　that　it　took　half　an　hour　longer　in　the　morning　to　put　on　makeup。　They　had　bee　shopworn　without　having　been　used；　aged　without　mellowing；　too　old　for　a　career　with　a　plastics　pany；　too　old　to　have　babies；　too　old　for　those　younger　parts　once　so　coveted。　They　were　now　character　actors。　But　they　still　dreamed。　The　younger　and　prettier　girls　were　picking　up　what　they　called　mattress　money。　
　〃Why　break　your　ass　over　some　nine…to…five　job　when　all　you　have　to　do　is　lay　on　your　back　a　few　minutes　and　pick　up　an　easy　twenty　bucks？　Just　till　your　agent　calls。〃　
　Jill　was　not　interested。　Her　only　interest　in　life　was　her　career。　A　poor　Polish　girl　could　never　marry　a　David　Kenyon。　She　knew　that　now。　But　Jill　Castle；　the　movie　star；　could　have　anybody；　and　anything　she　wanted。　Unless　she　could　achieve　that；　she　would　change　back　into　Josephine　Czinski　again。　She　would　never　let　that　happen。　
　Jill's　first　acting　job　came　through　Harriet　Marcus；　one　of　the　Survivors　who　had　a　third　cousin　whose　ex…brother…in…law　was　a　second　assistant　director　on　a　television　medical　series　shooting　at　Universal　Studios。　He　agreed　to　give　Jill　a　chance。　The　part　consisted　of　one　line；　for　which　Jill　was　to　receive　fifty…seven　dollars；　minus　deductions　for　Sodal　Security；　withholding　taxes　and　the　Motion　Picture　Relief　Home。　Jill　was　to　play　the　part　of　a　nurse。　The　script　called　for　her　to　be　in　a　hospital　room　at　a　patient's　bedside；　taking　his　pulse　when　the　doctor　entered。　Doctor　：　〃How　is　he；　Nurse？〃　nurse：　〃Not　very　good；　I'm　afraid。　Doctor。〃　
　That　was　it。　Jill　was　given　a　single；　mimeographed　page　from　the　script　on　a　Monday　afternoon　and　told　to　report　for　makeup　at　six　a。m。　the　following　morning。　She　went　over　the　scene　a　hundred　times。　She　wished　the　studio　had　given　her　the　entire　script。　How　did　they　expect　her　to　figure　out　what　the　character　was　like　from　one　page？　Jill　tried　to　analyze　what　kind　of　a　woman　the　nurse　might　be。　Was　she　married？　Single？　She　could　be　secretly　in　love　with　the　doctor。　Or　maybe　they　had　had　an　affair　and　it　was　over。　How　did　she　feel　about　the　patient？　Did　she　hate　the　thought　of　his　death？　Or　would　it　be　a　blessing？　〃Not　very　good；　I'm　afraid。　Doctor。〃　She　tried　to　put　concern　in　her　voice。　She　tr