sidneysheldon.astrangerinthemirror-第22章

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it　be　a　blessing？　〃Not　very　good；　I'm　afraid。　Doctor。〃　She　tried　to　put　concern　in　her　voice。　She　tried　again。　〃Not　very　good。　I'm　afraid。　Doctor。〃　Alarmed。　He　was　going　to　die。　〃Not　very　good；　I'm　afraid。　Doctor。〃　Accusing。　It　was　the　doctor's　fault。　If　he　had　not　been　away　with　his　mistress　。。。　
　Jill　stayed　up　the　entire　night　working　on　the　part；　too　keyed…up　to　sleep；　but　in　the　morning；　when　she　reported　to　the　studio；　she　felt　exhilarated　and　alive。　It　was　still　dark　when　she　arrived　at　the　guard's　gate　off　Lankershim　Boulevard；　in　a　car　borrowed　from　her　friend　Harriet。　Jill　gave　the　guard　her　name；　and　he　checked　it　against　a　roster　and　waved　her　on。　
　〃Stage　Seven；〃　he　said。　〃Two　blocks　down；　turn　right。〃　
　Her　name　was　on　the　roster。　Universal　Studios　was　expecting　her。　It　was　like　a　wonderful　dream。　As　Jill　drove　toward　the　sound　stage；　she　decided　she　would　discuss　the　part　with　the　director；　let　him　know　that　she　was　capable　of　giving　him　any　interpretation　he　wanted。　Jill　pulled　into　the　large　parking　lot　and　went　onto　Stage　Seven。　The　sound　stage　was　crowded　with　people　busily　moving　lights；　carrying　electrical　equipment；　setting　up　the　camera；　giving　orders　in　a　foreign　language　she　did　not　understand。　〃Hit　the　inky　clink　and　give　me　a　brute。。。。　I　need　a　scrim　here。。。。　Kill　the　baby。。。。〃　Jill　stood　there　watching；　savoring　the　sights　and　smells　and　sounds　of　show　business。　This　was　her　world；　her　future。　She　would　find　a　way　to　impress　the　director；　show　him　that　she　was　someone　special。　He　would　get　to　know　her　as　a　person；　not　as　just　another　actress。　The　second　assistant　director　herded　Jill　and　a　dozen　other　actors　over　to　wardrobe；　where　Jill　was　handed　a　nurse's　uniform　and　sent　back　to　the　sound　stage；　where　she　was　made　up　with　all　the　other　bit　players　in　a　corner　of　the　sound　stage。　Just　as　they　were　finished　with　her；　the　assistant　director　called　her　name。　Jill　hurried　on　to　the　hospital…room　set　where　the　director　stood　near　the　camera；　talking　to　the　star　of　the　series。　The　star's　name　was　Rod　Hanson；　and　he　played　a　surgeon　full　of　passion　and　wisdom。　As　Jill　approached　them。　Rod　Hanson　was　saying；　
　〃I　have　a　German　shepherd　that　can　fart　better　dialogue　than　this　shit。　Why　can't　the　writers　ever　give　me　some　character；　for　Christ's　sake？〃　　
　〃Rod；　we've　been　on　the　air　five　years。　Don't　improve　a　hit。　The　public　loves　you　the　way　you　are。〃　The　cameraman　walked　up　to　the　director。　
　〃All　lit；　chief。〃　
　〃Thanks；　Hal；〃　the　director　said。　He　turned　to　Rod　Hanson。　〃Can　we　make　this；　baby？　We'll　finish　the　discussion　later。〃　
　〃One　of　these　days；　I'm　going　to　wipe　my　ass　with　this　studio；〃　Hanson　snapped。　He　strode　away。　Jill　turned　to　the　director；　who　was　now　alone。　This　was　her　opportunity　to　discuss　the　interpretation　of　the　character；　to　show　him　that　she　understood　his　problems　and　was　there　to　help　make　the　scene　great。　She　gave　him　a　warm；　friendly　smile。　
　〃I'm　Jill　Castle；〃　she　said。　〃I'm　playing　the　nurse。　I　think　she　can　really　be　very　interesting　and　I　have　some　ideas　about　…〃　
　He　nodded　absently　and　said；　〃Over　by　the　bed；〃　and　walked　away　to　speak　to　the　cameraman。　Jill　stood　looking　after　him；　stunned。　The　second　assistant　director；　Harriet's　third　cousin's　ex…brother…in…law；　hurried　up　to　Jill　and　said　in　a　low　voice；　
　〃For　Chrissakes；　didn't　you　hear　him？　Over　by　the　bed！〃　
　〃I　wanted　to　ask　him　…〃　
　〃Don't　blow　it！〃　he　whispered　fiercely。　〃Get　out　there！〃　
　Jill　walked　over　to　the　patient's　bed。　
　〃All　right。　Let's　have　it　quiet；　everybody。〃　
　The　assistant　director　looked　at　the　director。　〃Do　you　want　a　rehearsal；　chief？〃　
　〃For　this？　Let's　go　for　a　take。〃　
　〃Give　us　a　bell。　Settle　down；　everybody。　Nice　and　quiet。　We're　rolling。　Speed。〃　
　Unbelievingly；　Jill　listened　to　the　sound　of　the　bell。　She　looked　frantically　toward　the　director；　wanting　to　ask　him　how　he　would　like　her　to　interpret　the　scene；　what　her　relationship　was　to　the　dying　man；　what　she　was　…　A　voice　called；　〃Action！〃　
　They　were　all　looking　at　Jill　expectantly。　She　wondered　whether　she　dare　ask　them　to　stop　the　cameras　for　just　a　second；　so　she　could　discuss　the　scene　and　…　
　The　director　yelled；　〃Jesus　Christ！　Nurse！　This　isn't　a　morgue　　it's　a　hospital。　Feel　his　god　damned　pulse　before　he　dies　of　old　age！〃　
　Jill　looked　anxiously　into　the　circle　of　bright　lights　around　her。　She　took　a　deep　breath；　lifted　the　patient's　hand　and　took　his　pulse。　If　they　would　not　help　her；　she　would　have　to　interpret　the　scene　in　her　own　way。　The　patient　was　the　father　of　the　doctor。　The　two　of　them　had　quarreled。　The　father　had　been　in　an　accident　and　the　doctor　had　just　been　notified。　Jill　looked　up　and　saw　Rod　Hanson　approaching。　He　walked　up　to　her　and　said；　
　〃How　is　he。　Nurse？〃　
　Jill　looked　into　the　doctor's　eyes　and　read　the　concern　there。　She　wanted　to　tell　him　the　truth；　that　his　father　was　dying；　that　it　was　too　late　for　them　to　make　up　their　quarrel。　Yet　she　had　to　break　it　to　him　in　such　a　way　that　it　would　not　destroy　him　and　　The　director　was　yelling；　
　〃Cut！　Cut！　Cut！　Goddamn　it；　the　idiot's　got　one　line；　and　she　can't　even　remember　it。　Where　did　you　find　her　　in　the　Yellow　Pages？〃　
　Jill　turned　toward　the　voice　shouting　from　the　darkness；　aflame　with　embarrassment。　
　〃I　　I　know　my　line；〃　she　said　coldly。　〃I　was　just　trying　to　〃　
　〃Well；　if　you　know　it；　for　Chrissakes；　would　you　mind　saying　it？　You　could　drive　a　train　through　that　pause。　When　he　asks　you　the　fucking　question；　answer　it。　Okay？〃　
　〃I　was　just　wondering　if　I　should　〃　
　〃Let's　go　again；　right　away。　Give　us　a　bell。〃　
　〃We're　on　a　bell。　Hold　it　down。　We're　rolling。〃　
　〃Speed。〃　〃Action。〃　
　Jill's　legs　were　trembling。　It　was　as　though　she　was　the　only　one　here　who　cared　about　the　scene。　All　she　had　wanted　to　do　was　create　something　beautiful。　The　hot　lights　were　making　her　dizzy；　and　she　could　feel　the　perspiration　running　down　her　arms；　ruining　the　crisp；　starched　uniform。　〃Action！　Nurse！〃　Jill　stood　over　the　patient　and　put　her　hand　on　his　pulse。　If　she　did　the　scene　wrong　again；　they　would　never　give　her　another　chance。　She　thought　of　Harriet　and　of　her　friends　at　the　roominghouse　and　of　what　they　would　say。　
　The　doctor　entered　and　walked　up　to　her。　〃How　is　he；　Nurse？〃　
　She　would　no　longer　be　one　of　them。　She　would　be　a　laughingstock。　Hollywood　was　a　small　town。　Word　got　around　fast。　
　〃Not　very　good；　I'm　afraid。　Doctor。〃　
　No　other　studio　would　touch　her。　It　would　be　her　last　job。　It　would　be　the　end　of　everything；　her　whole　world。　The　doctor　said；　
　〃I　want　this　man　put　in　intensive　care　immediately。〃　
　〃Good！〃　the　director　called。　〃Cut　and　print。〃　
　Jill　was　hardly　aware　of　the　people　rushing　past　her；　starting　to　dismantle　the　set　to　make　room　for　the　next　one。　She　had　done　her　first　sceneand　she　had　been　thinking　about　something　else。　She　could　not　believe　it　was　over。　She　wondered　whether　she　should　find　the　director　and　thank　him　for　the　opportunity；　but　he　was　at　the　other　end　of　the　stage　talking　to　a　group　of　people。　The　second　assistant　director　came　up　to　her　and　squeezed　her　arm　and　said；　
　〃You　did　okay；　kid。　Only　next　time；　learn　your　lines。〃　
　There　was　film　on　her；　she　had　her　first　credit。　From　now　on；　Jill　thought；　I'll　be　working　all　the　time。　
　Jill's　next　acting　job　was　thirteen　months　later；　when　she　did　a　bit　part　at　MGM。　In　the　meantime；　she　held　a　series　of　civilian　jobs。　She　became　the　local　Avon　lady；　she　worked　behind　a　soda　fountain　and　　briefly　　she　drove　a　taxi。　With　her　money　running　low；　Jill　decided　to　share　an　apartment　with　Harriet　Marcus。　It　was　a　two…bedroom　apartment　and　Harriet　kept　her　bedroom　working　overtime。　Harriet　worked　at　a　downtown　department　store　as　a　model。　She　was　an　attractive　girl　with　short　dark　hair；　black　eyes；　a　model's　boyish　figure　and　a　sense　of　humor。　
　〃When　you　e　from　Hoboken；〃　she　told　Jill；　〃you'd　better　have　a　sense　of　humor。〃　In　the　beginning；　Jill　had　been　a　bit　daunted　by　Harriet's　cool　self…sufficiency；　but　she　soon　learned　that　underneath　that　sophisticated　facade；　Harriet　was　a　warm；　frightened　child。　She　was　in　love　constantly。　The　first　time　Jill　met　her；　Harriet　said；　〃I　want　you　to　meet　Ralph。　We're　getting　married　next　month。〃　A　week　later；　Ralph　had　left　for　parts　unknown；　taking　with　him　Harriet's　car。　A　few　days　after　Ralph　had　departed；　Harriet　met　Tony。　He　was　in　import…export　and　Harriet　was　head…over…heels　in　love　with　him。　〃He's　very　important；〃　Harriet　confided　to　Jill。　But　someone　obviously　did　not　think　so；　because　a　month　later；　Tony　was　found　floating　in　the　Los　Angeles　River　with　an　apple　stuffed　in　his　mouth。　Alex　was　Harriet's　next　love。　〃He's　the　best…looking　thing　you've　ever　seen；〃　Harriet　confided　to　Jill。　Alex　was　handsome。　He　dressed　in　expensive　clothes；　drove　a　flashy　convertible　and　spent　a　lot　of　time　at　the　racetracks。　The　romance　lasted　until　Harriet　started　running　out　of　money。　It　angered　Jill　that　Harriet　had　so　little　sense　about　men。　〃I　can't　help　it；〃　Harriet　confessed。　〃I'm　attracted　to　guys　who　are　in　trouble。　I　think　it's　my　mother　instinct。〃　She　grinned　and　added；　〃My　mother　was　an　idiot。〃　Jill　watched　a　procession　of　Harriet's　frances　e　and　go。　There　was　Nick　and　Bobby　add　John　and　Raymond；　until　finally　Jill　could　no　longer　keep　track　of　them。　A　few　months　after　they　had　moved　in　together；　Harriet　announced　that　she　was　pregnant。　〃I　think　it's　Leonard；〃　she　quipped；　〃but　you　know　they　all　look　alike　in　the　dark。〃　〃Where　is　Leonard？〃　〃He's　either　in　Omaha　or　Okinawa。　I　always　was　lousy　at　geography。〃　〃What　are　you　going　to　do？〃　〃I'm　going　to　have　my　baby。〃　Because　of　her　slight　figure；　Harriet's　pregnancy　became　obvious　in　a　matter　of　weeks　and　she　had　to　give　up　her　modeling　job。　Jill　found　a　job　in　a　supermarket　so　that　she　could　support　the　two　of　them。　　
　One　afternoon　when　Jill　returned　home　from　work；　she　found　a　note　from　Harriet。　It　read：　〃I've　always　wanted　my　baby　to　be　born　in　Hoboken。　Have　gone　back　home　to　my　folks。　I'll　bet　there's　a　wonderful　guy　there；　waiting　for　me。　Thanks　for　everything。〃　It　was　signed：　〃Harriet；　The　Nun。〃　
　The　apartment　had　suddenly　bee　a　lonely　place。
　
　　
　It　was　a　heady　time　for　Toby　Temple。　He　was　forty…two　years　old　and　owned　the　world。　He　joked　with　kings　and　golfed　with　Presidents；　but　his　millions　of　beer…drinking　fans　did　not　mind　because　they　knew　Toby　was　one　of　them；　their　champion　who　milked　all　the　sacred　cows；　ridiculed　the　high　and　mighty；　shattered　the　shibboleths　of　the　Establishment。　They　loved　Toby；　just　as　they　knew　that　Toby　loved　them。　He　spoke　about　his　mother　in　all　his　interviews；　and　each　time　she　became　more　saintlike。　It　was　the　only　way　Toby　could　share　his　success　with　her。　
　Toby　acquired　a　beautiful　estate　in　Bel…Air。　The　house　was　Tudor；　with　eight　bedrooms　and　an　enormous　staircase　and　hand…carved　paneling　from　England。　It　had　a　movie　theater；　a　game　room；　a　wine　cellar；　and　on　the　grounds　were　a　large　swimming　pool；　a　housekeeper's　cottage　and　two　guest　cottages。　He　bought　a　lavish　home　in　Palm　Springs；　a　string　of　racehorses　and　a　trio　of　stooges。　Toby　called　them　all　〃Mac〃　and　they　adored　him。　They　ran　errands；　chauffeured　him；　got　him　girls　at　any　hour　of　the　day　or　night；　took　t