ericlustbader.the ninja-第74章

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f　he　was　caught　trespassing；　and　he　had　no　desire　to　involve　his　father's　name　in　these　precincts；　the　less　the　Colonel　knew　of　his　activities　in　Kumamoto；　the　better。　Windowless；　the　warehouse　was　just　as　lightless　during　the　day　as　it　was　at　night。　Time　had　no　meaning　here。　On　the　third…floor　landing；　he　reached　out　a　pocket　torch；　played　it　on　the　door。
　He　stood　perfectly　still　for　some　moments。　Wood　creaked　somewhere　downstairs；　a　settling　rather　than　from　a　footstep。　Outside；　in　an　alley　perhaps；　judging　by　the　hollowness　of　the　sound；　a　dog　barked　twice　and　was　still。　The　brief　rumble　of　a　truck。
　The　sergeant　had　not　lied。　The　door　was　pletely　free　of　any　sign。
　He　went　across　the　landing　for　a　closer　look。　Rubbed　his　fingertips　over　the　surface　in　the　light　of　the　torch。　Nothing。　Had　it　ever　been　there？　He　sprung　the　padlock。
　Fifteen　minutes　later　he　was　away；　walking　stiff…legged　from　the　pain　down　the　street。　A　warehouse。　Only　a　warehouse。　And　not　a　sign　that　it　had　even　been　a　ryu。　Don't　bother　ing　after。　Because　we　won't　be　there？
　In　the　railroad　car；　the　radio　played　a　pop　song　he　did　not　know。　Its　tempo　was　fast；　its　tone　optimistic。　The　passing　landscape　was　blurry　with　mist　and；　out　of　it；　the　hail；　raiding　and　jumping　like　ping…pong　balls。
　Nicholas　leaned　his　head　against　the　perspex；　glad'　of　the　chill　it　afforded。　He　tried　to　make　a　sense　of　it　all。　What　a　superb　actress　Yukio　had　been。　And　what　a　naive　little　boy　he　had　proved　to　be。　It　was　almost　amusing。　He　working　so　hard　to　gain　her　trust　when　it　was　she　for　whom　trust　was　a　meaningless　word。　No；　it　was　far　too　dispiriting　to　be　in　the　least　amusing。
　But　ironic；　yes。　So　ironic。
　There　was　a　kind　of　numbness　inside　him　as　if　Saigo's　cruel　intrusion　had　somehow　anaesthetized　him；　shorting　out　some　spark　of　current。　He　thought　of　Yukio's　remark　at　seeing　the　bombed…out　observatory　in　Hiroshima。　That　is　what　I　am　like　inside。　Another　part　of　her　lie；　but　it　was　all　too　true　now　of　him。
　It　began　to　snow；　the　sky　turning　white。　The　silence　seemed　appalling　and　absolute　after　the　long　siege　of　the　hail。　The　radio　had　been　switched　off　at　last。
　It　was　the　reverse　of　the　story　she　had　told　him；　he　thought；　his　head　pounding。　Except　he　was　the　lady　waiting　in　vain　for　the　broken；　promises　of　her　lover　to　e　true。　Would　Yukio；　returning　to　find　him　gone；　bee　a　nun？　For　the　first　time；　he　began　to　think　of　America　as　more　than　just　a　country　on　the　other　side　of　the　world。　Forsake　his　beloved　Japan？　Yes；　he　thought。　Yes！　But　first。。。
　With　a　raucous　burst；　the　radio　broke　into　renewed　life。。。　　I'll　pretend　that　I'm　pissing　the　lips　I　am　missing/And　hope　that　my　dreams　will　e　true/And　then　while　I'm　away/I'll　write　home　every　day　I　And　I'll　send　all　my　loving　to　you　。。。　It　hardly　seemed　surprising　that　Nicholas　did　not　go　straight'　home　from　the　station。
　He　threw　his　bags　in　the　back　of　a　taxi　and；　climbing　in　after　them；　gave　the　address　of　Kansatsu's　ryu。
　Apparently　the　snow　had　been　falling　in　Tokyo　for　some　time。　There　was　already　more　than　an　inch　on　the　ground　and　traffic　was　snarled。　This　first　snow　had　e　so　late　in　the　year　that　everyone　had　given　up　on　it　and　so　had　been　taken　by　surprise。　　　　…
　The　heavily　laden　windshield　wipers　gave　off　a　hypnotic　hiss…thunk；　hiss…thunk　as　they　crept　through　the　city　in　maddening　herky…jerky　fashion。　But　once　on　the　highway　at　the　outskirts　they　made　better　time；　the　sanding　crews　had　done　their　job。
　He　sat　slumped　in　one　corner　of　the　back　seat　and　did　not　open　his　eyes　until　they　came　to　a　stop　outside　the　ryu。　The　driver　called　to　him　and　he　asked　the　man　to　wait　until　he　was　certain　someone　was　still　there。
　The　taxi　seemed　to　sit　there　in　the　snow；　panting；　its　exhaust　expelled　in　tiny　white　bursts。　He　returned　in　a　moment；　paid　the　driver　and　hauled　out　his　bags。
　Kansatsu　served　him　green　tea　in　one　of　the　ryu's　back　rooms。　The　dojo；　itself；　was　deserted。　There　was　no　one　here　save　the　sensei　and　himself。
　'You　have　had　a　most　difficult　trip；'　Kansatsu　said。　Through　an　open　shoji；　Nicholas　could　see　the　snow　silently　falling；　muffling　all　sound。　In　the　twilight　it　seemed　more　blue　than　white。　Fuji　was　invisible　now；　in　the　weather。　'I　can　see　it　on　your　face。'　So　Nicholas　told　him。
　There　was　a　great　silence　after　he　had　finished；　or　so　it　seemed　to　Nicholas。
　'Kansatsu　…'　_But　the　sensei　stopped　him。　'Drink　your　tea；　Nicholas。'
　Nicholas　threw　the　grey　porcelain　cup　away　from　him；　tea　spilled　across　the　tatami。　'I　am　tired　of　being　treated　like　a　child！　　I　know　what　I　want　to　do　now　…　what　I　must　do。'
　'I　think；'　said　Kansatsu；　unperturbed　by　the　outburst；　'that　you　should　go　home　now。'
　Nicholas　stood　up；　his　face　red　with　rage。　'Don't　you　understand　what　has　happened？　Have　you　been　listening　to　what　I've　been　telling　you？'
　'I　have　heard　every　word。'　Kansatsu's　tone　was　calm；　soothing。'　'I　sympathize　with　you。　You　have　confirmed　what　I　have　suspected　for　some　time。　But　no　decision　can　be　made　in　haste。　You　may　think　that　you　know　what　it　is　you　want　to　do　now　but　I　doubt　if　you　do。　Please　take　my　advice　and　return　home。　Take　some　time　to　think　…'
　'There　are　some　answers　I　want　from　you；'　Nicholas　said　harshly。　'You　set　me　up　for　this。　You　knew　…'
　'I　knew　nothing。　As　I　said。　Now　I　know；　as　do　you。　That　is　better；　you　will　admit；　than　being　unsure。　No　decisions　can　be　accurately　made；　no　course　of　action　taken；　in　such　circumstances。　That　is　basic。　You　understand　that。'　There　was　a　slight　interrogative　at　the　end。
　'Yes。'
　'All　right。'　Kansatsu　sighed　and　stood　up。　They　faced　each　other　across　the　low；　lacquered　table。　'Let　me　tell　you　that　which　I　withheld　from　you　was　for　your　own　benefit…'
　'My　own　benefit'
　Kansatsu　held　up　one　hand。　'Please　allow　me　to　finish　my　thought。　I　had；　at　the　time；　only　conjecture　to　go　on　as　regards　Saigo。'　His　tone　of　voice　changed；　softening　somewhat。　'As　for　yourself；　I　told　you　what　was　in　my　mind。　Working　here　will　no　longer　well　serve　either　of　us。　That　you　have　survived　your　journey　to　Kumamoto　is　proof　enough　of　that　…　if　you　might　be　inclined　to　mistrust　my　word。'
　'I　would　never　…'
　'No。　I　know。　You　would　not。'　Kansatsu　came　round　the　table；　touched　Nicholas　on　the　biceps。　It　was　the　first　such　gesture　he　had　ever　made　towards　Nicholas。　'You　have　been　my　finest　pupil。　But　the　time　has　e　for　us　to　part　ways。　You　must　grow　along　your　own　path；　Nicholas。　Too　long　in　this　ryu；　any　ryu；　can　be　detrimental　to　that　growth。　But'　…　he　raised　a　long　forefinger　…　'before　you　decide　on　where　to　go；　your　mind　must　be　clear。　And　you　will　admit　that　you　cannot　claim　such　clarity　now；　hm？'
　Nicholas　was　silent；　thinking。
　'Take　several　days；　as　long　as　you　need；　in　fact。　Then；　when　you　feel　you　are　ready；　e　to　me。　I　will　be　here。　I　shall　answer　all　your　questions　as　best　I　can。　And；　together；　we　will　decide　on　your　future。'
　'There　is　something；'　Nicholas　said　at　last；　'that　cannot　be　ignored。'
　'And　what　is　that。'
　'I　have　an　enemy　now。'　Don't　bother　ing　after。　'I　invaded　their　territory　1　Ignored　their　warning。　When　they　e；　I　must　be　prepared。'
　Beside　him；　Kansatsu　had　never　seemed　so　old　and　frail　as　he　stared　out　at　the　falling　snow。
　'I　am　afraid　there's　been　some　bad　news。'
　He　stood　with　his　bags　in　the　doorway　of　his　house。　Immediately　he　thought　of　Cheong。　'Where's　Mother？'
　'At　your　aunt's。　e　inside；　Nicholas。'　The　Colonel　seemed　pale　and　drawn。
　The　house　seemed　subtly　different。　Emptier。　'What's　happened？'
　'It's　Satsugai；'　the　Colonel　said　evenly。　He　had　his　pipe　in　one　hand；　unlit。　'We　tried　to　reach　you　in　Kumamoto。　I　finally　got　hold　of　Saigo　this　afternoon。　Itami　was　surprised　to　learn　Yukio　decided　to　stay　with　him。'
　Nicholas　felt　a　knife　twisting　inside　him。　All　my　loving　darling；　I　will　send　to　you。　There　was　a　silence。　He　could　hear　the　clock　on　the　mantel　in　the　Colonel's　study。　All　the　way　in　here。　Nothing　moved　outside。　It　was　as　if　the　world　had　frozen　over　in　a　new　ice　age。
　The　Colonel　cleared　his　throat。　'Satsugai's　been　killed。　I'm　sorry；　it's　a　hell　of　a　homeing。　I　can　see　you　didn't　have　the　best　of　trips。'
　Was　it　so　indelibly　etched　across　his　face；　skywriting　that　he　refused　to　face？
　'How　did　it　happen？'
　…The　Colonel　put　the　pipe　stem　to　his　lips；　blew　sharply　outwards　to　unclog　it。　He　looked　at　the　bowl。　'Robbery；　the　police　think。　Satsugai　must　have　surprised　the　thief。'
　'No　one　else　heard　him？'
　The　Colonel　shrugged。　'No　one　else　was　in　the　house　at　the　time。　Itami　was　at　her　sister's。〃
　'Which　one？　Ikura？'
　'No　Teoke。'
　Nicholas　disliked　Teoke。
　'Well。'　He　went　to　take　his　bags　into　his　room。　The　Colonel　stooped　to　help　him　and　together　they；　went　through　the　house。
　'It's　so　quiet；'　Nicholas　said。　'Nothing　seems　right。'
　'No；'　the　Colonel　agreed；　something　far　off　in　his　eyes。　'It's　never　the　same。'　He　sat　on　the　futon；　pressed　his　thumb　and　forefinger　against　his　eyelids。　'The　servants　have　gone　with　your　mother　and　Ataki　won't　e　today。'
　Nicholas　began　to　unpack；　separating　the　soiled　clothes　from　the　unworn　ones。　'Dad；'　he　said　after　a　time；　'what　do　you　know　of　the　ninja？'
　'Oh；　not　very　much。　Why？'
　He　shrugged；　looking　down　at　the　shirt　he　was　holding。
　'Kansatsu's　been　talking　about　them。　Did　you　know　that　when　firearms　were　first　introduced　here　in　1543　by　the　Portuguese　they　were　immediately　incorporated　into　ninjutsu　techniques？　No？　And　because　of　that；　firearms　were　shunned　by　the　majority　of　the　other　classes　…　most　especially　the　samurai　…　until　the　Meiji　Restoration。'
　The　Colonel　got　up；　went　across　the　room　to　stand　beside　his　son。　'Nicholas；'　he　said　gently；　'what　happened　between　you　and　Yukio？'　When　Nicholas　said　nothing；　he　put　his　hand　on　his　son's　shoulder；　said；　'Are　you　afraid　to　tell　me？'
　Nicholas　turned　round　to　face　him。　'Afraid？　No。　I　…　It's　just　that　I　know　how　you　felt　about　her。　You　disliked　her　from　the　beginning。'
　'So　now　you　won't　tell　me　…'
　'I　love　her；'　Nicholas　said　in　anguish。　'And　she　told　me　she　loved　me。　And　then。　And　then；　it　all　fell　apart　just　as　if　it　had　never　existed。'　The　Colonel's　heart　ached　at　the　look　he　saw　on　Nicholas's　face。　'How　could　she　go　off　with　Saigo？　How　could　she　do　it？'　Tears　stood　in　the　corners　of　his　eyes。　'I　don't　understand　any　of　it。'
　When　he　had　seen　Nicholas　standing　there　in　the　doorway；　the　Colonel　had　felt　an　enormous　urge　to　tell　him　everything；　to　confess。　Now　he　knew　that　he　would　never　do　that；　it　would　be　far　too　selfish。　It　was　a　burden　designed　for　him　alone。　How　unfair　to　make　Nicholas　carry　it　for　the　rest　of　his　life。　But　he　wanted　desperately　to　say　something　forting　to　his　son。　He　was　dumbfounded　now　by　his　inarticulateness。　Is　this　how　I　have　been　with　him　all　his　life？　he　wondered。　I　don't　know　what　to　say；　what　would　calm　him。　He　wished　that　Cheong　were　here　now　and　was　instantly　ashamed　of　the　thought。　My　God；　he　thought；　am　I　that　estranged　from　my　own　son？　Is　this　what　my　work　has　done　to　me？　It　seemed　to　the　Colonel　to　be　the　final　irony。　And　now　he　realized　how　he　had　envied　Satsugai's　close　relationship　with　Saigo。　It　was　something　he　could　never　have　with　Nicholas。　The　fault；　he　saw；　lay　within　himself。
　He　heard　the　door　c