pgw.psmith,journalist-第2章

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h　to　a　post　on　one　of　the　big　New　York　dailies；　where　there　was　something　doing　and　a　man　would　have　a　chance　of　showing　what　was　in　him。
　The　unfortunate　thing；　however；　was　that　Cosy　Moments　took　up　his　time　so　pletely。　He　had　no　chance　of　attracting　the　notice　of　big　editors　by　his　present　work；　and　he　had　no　leisure　for　doing　any　other。
　All　of　which　may　go　to　explain　why　his　normal　aspect　was　that　of　a　caged　eagle。
　To　him；　brooding　over　the　outpourings　of　Luella　Granville　Waterman；　there　entered　Pugsy　Maloney；　the　office…boy；　bearing　a　struggling　cat。
　〃Say！〃　said　Pugsy。
　He　was　a　nonchalant　youth；　with　a　freckled；　mask…like　face；　the　expression　of　which　never　varied。　He　appeared　unconscious　of　the　cat。　Its　existence　did　not　seem　to　occur　to　him。
　〃Well？〃　said　Billy；　looking　up。　〃Hello；　what　have　you　got　there？〃
　Master　Maloney　eyed　the　cat；　as　if　he　were　seeing　it　for　the　first　time。
　〃It's　a　kitty　what　I　got　in　de　street；〃　he　said。
　〃Don't　hurt　the　poor　brute。　Put　her　down。〃
　Master　Maloney　obediently　dropped　the　cat；　which　sprang　nimbly　on　to　an　upper　shelf　of　the　book…case。
　〃I　wasn't　hoitin'　her；〃　he　said；　without　emotion。　〃Dere　was　two　fellers　in　de　street　sickin'　a　dawg　on　to　her。　An'　I　es　up　an'　says；'　G'wan！　What　do　youse　t'ink　you're　doin'；　fussin'　de　poor　dumb　animal？'　An'　one　of　de　guys；　he　says；　'G'wan！　Who　do　youse　t'ink　youse　is？'　An'　I　says；　'I'm　de　guy　what's　goin'　to　swat　youse　one　on　de　coco　if　youse　don't　quit　fussin'　de　poor　dumb　animal。'　So　wit　dat　he　makes　a　break　at　swattin'　me　one；　but　I　swats　him　one；　an'　I　swats　de　odder　feller　one；　an'　den　I　swats　dem　bote　some　more；　an'　I　gets　de　kitty；　an'　I　brings　her　in　here；　cos　I　t'inks　maybe　youse'll　look　after　her。〃
　And　having　finished　this　Homeric　narrative；　Master　Maloney　fixed　an　expressionless　eye　on　the　ceiling；　and　was　silent。
　Billy　Windsor；　like　most　men　of　the　plains；　bined　the　toughest　of　muscle　with　the　softest　of　hearts。　He　was　always　ready　at　any　moment　to　bee　the　champion　of　the　oppressed　on　the　slightest　provocation。　His　alliance　with　Pugsy　Maloney　had　begun　on　the　occasion　when　he　had　rescued　that　youth　from　the　clutches　of　a　large　negro；　who；　probably　from　the　soundest　of　motives；　was　endeavouring　to　slay　him。　Billy　had　not　inquired　into　the　rights　and　wrongs　of　the　matter：　he　had　merely　sailed　in　and　rescued　the　office…boy。　And　Pugsy；　though　he　had　made　no　verbal　ment　on　the　affair；　had　shown　in　many　ways　that　he　was　not　ungrateful。
　〃Bully　for　you；　Pugsy！〃　he　cried。　〃You're　a　little　sport。　Here〃　he　produced　a　dollar…bill〃go　out　and　get　some　milk　for　the　poor　brute。　She's　probably　starving。　Keep　the　change。〃
　〃Sure　thing；〃　assented　Master　Maloney。　He　strolled　slowly　out；　while　Billy　Windsor；　mounting　a　chair；　proceeded　to　chirrup　and　snap　his　fingers　in　the　effort　to　establish　the　foundations　of　an　entente　cordiale　with　the　rescued　cat。
　By　the　time　that　Pugsy　returned；　carrying　a　five…cent　bottle　of　milk；　the　animal　had　vacated　the　book…shelf；　and　was　sitting　on　the　table；　washing　her　face。　The　milk　having　been　poured　into　the　lid　of　a　tobacco…tin；　in　lieu　of　a　saucer；　she　suspended　her　operations　and　adjourned　for　refreshments。　Billy；　business　being　business；　turned　again　to　Luella　Granville　Waterman；　but　Pugsy；　having　no　immediate　duties　on　hand；　concentrated　himself　on　the　cat。
　〃Say！〃　he　said。
　〃Well？〃
　〃Dat　kitty。〃
　〃What　about　her？〃
　〃Pipe　de　leather　collar　she's　wearing。〃
　Billy　had　noticed　earlier　in　the　proceedings　that　a　narrow　leather　collar　encircled　the　cat's　neck。　He　had　not　paid　any　particular　attention　to　it。　〃What　about　it？〃　he　said。
　〃Guess　I　know　where　dat　kitty　belongs。　Dey　all　have　dose　collars。　I　guess　she's　one　of　Bat　Jarvis's　kitties。　He's　got　a　lot　of　dem　for　fair；　and　every　one　wit　one　of　dem　collars　round　deir　neck。〃
　〃Who's　Bat　Jarvis？　Do　you　mean　the　gang…leader？〃
　〃Sure。　He's　a　cousin　of　mine；〃　said　Master　Maloney　with　pride。
　〃Is　he？〃　said　Billy。　〃Nice　sort　of　fellow　to　have　in　the　family。　So　you　think　that's　his　cat？〃
　〃Sure。　He's　got　twenty…t'ree　of　dem；　and　dey　all　has　dose　collars。〃
　〃Are　you　on　speaking　terms　with　the　gentleman？〃
　〃Huh？〃
　〃Do　you　know　Bat　Jarvis　to　speak　to？〃
　〃Sure。　He's　me　cousin。〃
　〃Well；　tell　him　I've　got　the　cat；　and　that　if　he　wants　it　he'd　better　e　round　to　my　place。　You　know　where　I　live？〃
　〃Sure。〃
　〃Fancy　you　being　a　cousin　of　Bat's；　Pugsy。　Why　did　you　never　tell　us？　Are　you　going　to　join　the　gang　some　day？〃
　〃Nope。　Nothin'　doin'。　I'm　goin'　to　be　a　cow…boy。〃
　〃Good　for　you。　Well；　you　tell　him　when　you　see　him。　And　now；　my　lad；　out　you　get；　because　if　I'm　interrupted　any　more　I　shan't　get；　through　to…night。〃
　〃Sure；〃　said　Master　Maloney；　retiring。
　〃Oh；　and　Pugsy　。　。　。〃
　〃Huh？〃
　〃Go　out　and　get　a　good　big　basket。　I　shall　want　one　to　carry　this　animal　home　in。〃
　〃Sure；〃　said　Master　Maloney。
　
　CHAPTER　III
　AT　〃THE　GARDENIA〃
　
　〃It　would　ill　beseem　me；　rade　Jackson；〃　said　Psmith；　thoughtfully　sipping　his　coffee；　〃to　run　down　the　metropolis　of　a　great　and　friendly　nation；　but　candour　pels　me　to　state　that　New　York　is　in　some　respects　a　singularly　blighted　town。〃
　〃What's　the　matter　with　it？〃　asked　Mike。
　〃Too　decorous；　rade　Jackson。　I　came　over　here　principally；　it　is　true；　to　be　at　your　side；　should　you　be　in　any　way　persecuted　by　scoundrels。　But　at　the　same　time　I　confess　that　at　the　back　of　my　mind　there　lurked　a　hope　that　stirring　adventures　might　e　my　way。　I　had　heard　so　much　of　the　place。　Report　had　it　that　an　earnest　seeker　after　amusement　might　have　a　tolerably　spacious　rag　in　this　modern　Byzantium。　I　thought　that　a　few　weeks　here　might　restore　that　keen　edge　to　my　nervous　system　which　the　languor　of　the　past　term　had　in　a　measure　blunted。　I　wished　my　visit　to　be　a　tonic　rather　than　a　sedative。　I　anticipated　that　on　my　return　the　cry　would　go　round　Cambridge；　'Psmith　has　been　to　New　York。　He　is　full　of　oats。　For　he　on　honey…dew　hath　fed；　and　drunk　the　milk　of　Paradise。　He　is　hot　stuff。　Rah！'　But　what　do　we　find？〃
　He　paused；　and　lit　a　cigarette。
　〃What　do　we　find？〃　he　asked　again。
　〃I　don't　know；〃　said　Mike。　〃What？〃
　〃A　very　judicious　query；　rade　Jackson。　What；　indeed？　We　find　a　town　very　like　London。　A　quiet；　self…respecting　town；　admirable　to　the　apostle　of　social　reform；　but　disappointing　to　one　who；　like　myself；　arrives　with　a　brush　and　a　little　bucket　of　red　paint；　all　eager　for　a　treat。　I　have　been　here　a　week；　and　I　have　not　seen　a　single　citizen　clubbed　by　a　policeman。　No　negroes　dance　cake…walks　in　the　street。　No　cow…boy　has　let　off　his　revolver　at　random　in　Broadway。　The　cables　flash　the　message　across　the　ocean；　'Psmith　is　losing　his　illusions。'〃
　Mike　had　e　to　America　with　a　team　of　the　M。C。C。　which　was　touring　the　cricket…playing　section　of　the　United　States。　Psmith　had　acpanied　him　in　a　private　capacity。　It　was　the　end　of　their　first　year　at　Cambridge；　and　Mike；　with　a　century　against　Oxford　to　his　credit；　had　been　one　of　the　first　to　be　invited　to　join　the　tour。　Psmith；　who　had　played　cricket　in　a　rather　desultory　way　at　the　University；　had　not　risen　to　these　heights。　He　had　merely　taken　the　opportunity　of　Mike's　visit　to　the　other　side　to　acpany　him。　Cambridge　had　proved　pleasant　to　Psmith；　but　a　trifle　quiet。　He　had　weled　the　chance　of　getting　a　change　of　scene。
　So　far　the　visit　had　failed　to　satisfy　him。　Mike；　whose　tastes　in　pleasure　were　simple；　was　delighted　with　everything。　The　cricket　so　far　had　been　rather　of　the　picnic　order；　but　it　was　very　pleasant；　and　there　was　no　limit　to　the　hospitality　with　which　the　visitors　were　treated。　It　was　this　more　than　anything　which　had　caused　Psmith's　grave　disapproval　of　things　American。　He　was　not　a　member　of　the　team；　so　that　the　advantages　of　the　hospitality　did　not　reach　him。　He　had　all　the　disadvantages。　He　saw　far　too　little　of　Mike。　When　he　wished　to　consult　his　confidential　secretary　and　adviser　on　some　aspect　of　Life；　that　invaluable　official　was　generally　absent　at　dinner　with　the　rest　of　the　team。　To…night　was　one　of　the　rare　occasions　when　Mike　could　get　away。　Psmith　was　being　bored。　New　York　is　a　better　city　than　London　to　be　alone　in；　but　it　is　never　pleasant　to　be　alone　in　any　big　city。
　As　they　sat　discussing　New　York's　shortings　over　their　coffee；　a　young　man　passed　them；　carrying　a　basket；　and　seated　himself　at　the　next　table。　He　was　a　tall；　loose…jointed　young　man；　with　unkempt　hair。
　A　waiter　made　an　ingratiating　gesture　towards　the　basket；　but　the　young　man　stopped　him。　〃Not　on　your　life；　sonny；〃　he　said。　〃This　stays　right　here。〃　He　placed　it　carefully　on　the　floor　beside　his　chair；　and　proceeded　to　order　dinner。
　Psmith　watched　him　thoughtfully。
　〃I　have　a　suspicion；　rade　Jackson；〃　he　said；　〃that　this　will　prove　to　be　a　somewhat　stout　fellow。　If　possible；　we　will　engage　him　in　conversation。　I　wonder　what　he's　got　in　the　basket。　I　must　get　my　Sherlock　Holmes　system　to　work。　What　is　the　most　likely　thing　for　a　man　to　have　in　a　basket？　You　would　reply；　in　your　unthinking　way；　'sandwiches。'　Error。　A　man　with　a　basketful　of　sandwiches　does　not　need　to　dine　at　restaurants。　We　must　try　again。〃
　The　young　man　at　the　next　table　had　ordered　a　jug　of　milk　to　be　acpanied　by　a　saucer。　These　having　arrived；　he　proceeded　to　lift　the　basket　on　to　his　lap；　pour　the　milk　into　the　saucer；　and　remove　the　lid　from　the　basket。　Instantly；　with　a　yell　which　made　the　young　man's　table　the　centre　of　interest　to　all　the　diners；　a　large　grey　cat　shot　up　like　a　rocket；　and　darted　across　the　room。　Psmith　watched　with　silent　interest。
　It　is　hard　to　astonish　the　waiters　at　a　New　York　restaurant；　but　when　the　cat　performed　this　feat　there　was　a　squeal　of　surprise　all　round　the　room。　Waiters　rushed　to　and　fro；　futile　but　energetic。　The　cat；　having　secured　a　strong　strategic　position　on　the　top　of　a　large　oil…painting　which　hung　on　the　far　wall；　was　expressing　loud　disapproval　of　the　efforts　of　one　of　the　waiters　to　drive　it　from　its　post　with　a　walking…stick。　The　young　man；　seeing　these　manoeuvres；　uttered　a　wrathful　shout；　and　rushed　to　the　rescue。
　〃rade　Jackson；〃　said　Psmith；　rising；　〃we　must　be　in　this。〃
　When　they　arrived　on　the　scene　of　hostilities；　the　young　man　had　just　possessed　himself　of　the　walking…stick；　and　was　deep　in　a　plex　argument　with　the　head…waiter　on　the　ethics　of　the　matter。　The　head…waiter；　a　stout　impassive　German；　had　taken　his　stand　on　a　point　of　etiquette。　〃Id　is；〃　he　said；　〃to　bring　gats　into　der　grill…room　vorbidden。　No　gendleman　would　gats　into　der　grill…room　bring。　Der　gendleman〃
　The　young　man　meanwhile　was　making　enticing　sounds；　to　which　the　cat　was　maintaining　an　attitude　of　reserved　hostility。　He　turned　furiously　on　the　head…waiter。
　〃For　goodness'　sake；〃　he　cried；　〃can't　you　see　the　poor　brute's　scared　stiff？　Why　don't　you　clear　your　gang　of　German　edians　away；　and　give　her　a　chance　to　e　down？〃
　〃Der　gendleman〃　argued　the　head…waiter。
　Psmith　stepped　forward　and　touched　him　on　the　arm。
　〃May　I　have　a　word　with　you　in　private？〃
　〃Zo？〃
　Psmith　drew　him　away。
　〃You　don't　know　who　that　is？〃　he　whispered；　nodding　towards　the　young　man。
　〃No　gendleman　he　is；〃　asserted　the　head…waiter。　〃Der　gendleman　would　not　der　gat　into〃
　Psmith　shook　his　head　pityingly。
　〃Thes