pgw.psmith,journalist-第24章

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　〃It　is；〃　said　Psmith。　〃In　rade　Windsor's　pre…dungeon　days　he　was　wont　to　sit　where　I　am　sitting　now；　while　I　bivouacked　over　there　at　the　smaller　table。　On　busy　mornings　you　could　hear　our　brains　buzzing　in　Madison　Square　Garden。　But　wait！　A　thought　strikes　me。〃　He　called　for　Pugsy。
　〃rade　Maloney；〃　he　said；　〃if　the　Editorial　Staff　of　this　paper　were　to　give　you　a　day　off；　could　you　employ　it　to　profit？〃
　〃Surest　t'ing　you　know；〃　replied　Pugsy　with　some　fervour。　〃I'd　take　me　goil　to　de　Bronx　Zoo。〃
　〃Your　girl？〃　said　Psmith　inquiringly。　〃I　had　heard　no　inkling　of　this；　rade　Maloney。　I　had　always　imagined　you　one　of　those　strong；　rugged；　blood…and…iron　men　who　were　above　the　softer　emotions。　Who　is　she？〃
　〃Aw；　she's　a　kid；〃　said　Pugsy。　〃Her　pa　runs　a　delicatessen　shop　down　our　street。　She　ain't　a　bad　mutt；〃　added　the　ardent　swain。　〃I'm　her　steady。〃
　〃See　that　I　have　a　card　for　the　wedding；　rade　Maloney；〃　said　Psmith；　〃and　in　the　meantime　take　her　to　the　Bronx；　as　you　suggest。〃
　〃Won't　youse　be　wantin'　me　to…day。〃
　〃Not　to…day。　You　need　a　holiday。　Unflagging　toil　is　sapping　your　physique。　Go　up　and　watch　the　animals；　and　remember　me　very　kindly　to　the　Peruvian　Llama；　whom　friends　have　sometimes　told　me　I　resemble　in　appearance。　And　if　two　dollars　would　in　any　way　add　to　the　gaiety　of　the　jaunt　。　。　。〃
　〃Sure　t'ing。　T'anks；　boss。〃
　〃It　occurred　to　me；〃　said　Psmith；　when　he　had　gone；　〃that　the　probable　first　move　of　any　enterprising　Three　Pointer　who　invaded　this　office　would　be　to　knock　rade　Maloney　on　the　head　to　prevent　his　announcing　him。　rade　Maloney's　services　are　too　valuable　to　allow　him　to　be　exposed　to　unnecessary　perils。　Any　visitors　who　call　must　find　their　way　in　for　themselves。　And　now　to　work。　Work；　the　what's…its…name　of　the　thingummy　and　the　thing…um…a…bob　of　the　what　d'you…call…it。〃
　For　about　a　quarter　of　an　hour　the　only　sound　that　broke　the　silence　of　the　room　was　the　scratching　of　Psmith's　pen　and　the　musical　expectoration　of　Messrs。　Otto　and　Jarvis。　Finally　Psmith　leaned　back　in　his　chair　with　a　satisfied　expression；　and　spoke。
　〃While；　as　of　course　you　know；　rade　Jarvis；〃　he　said；　〃there　is　no　agony　like　the　agony　of　literary　position；　such　toil　has　its　pensations。　The　editorial　I　have　just　pleted　contains　its　measure　of　balm。　rade　Otto　will　bear　me　out　in　my　statement　that　there　is　a　subtle　joy　in　the　manufacture　of　the　well…formed　phrase。　Am　I　not　right；　rade　Otto？〃
　The　long　one　gazed　appealingly　at　Mr。　Jarvis；　who　spoke　for　him。
　〃He's　a　bit　shy　on　handin'　out　woids；　is　Otto；〃　he　said。
　Psmith　nodded。
　〃I　understand。　I　am　a　man　of　few　words　myself。　All　great　men　are　like　that。　Von　Moltke；　rade　Otto；　and　myself。　But　what　are　words？　Action　is　the　thing。　That　is　the　cry。　Action。　If　that　is　rade　Otto's　forte；　so　much　the　better；　for　I　fancy　that　action　rather　than　words　is　what　we　may　be　needing　in　the　space　of　about　a　quarter　of　a　minute。　At　least；　if　the　footsteps　I　hear　without　are；　as　I　suspect；　those　of　our　friends　of　the　Three　Points。〃
　Jarvis　and　Long　Otto　turned　towards　the　door。　Psmith　was　right。　Some　one　was　moving　stealthily　in　the　outer　office。　Judging　from　the　sound；　more　than　one　person。
　〃It　is　just　as　well；〃　said　Psmith　softly；　〃that　rade　Maloney　is　not　at　his　customary　post。　Now；　in　about　a　quarter　of　a　minute；　as　I　saidAha！〃
　The　handle　of　the　door　began　to　revolve　slowly　and　quietly。　The　next　moment　three　figures　tumbled　into　the　room。　It　was　evident　that　they　had　not　expected　to　find　the　door　unlocked；　and　the　absence　of　resistance　when　they　applied　their　weight　had　had　surprising　effects。　Two　of　the　three　did　not　pause　in　their　career　till　they　cannoned　against　the　table。　The　third；　who　was　holding　the　handle；　was　more　fortunate。
　Psmith　rose　with　a　kindly　smile　to　wele　his　guests。
　〃Why；　surely！〃　he　said　in　a　pleased　voice。　〃I　thought　I　knew　the　face。　rade　Repetto；　this　is　a　treat。　Have　you　e　bringing　me　a　new　hat？〃
　The　white…haired　leader's　face；　as　he　spoke；　was　within　a　few　inches　of　his　own。　Psmith's　observant　eye　noted　that　the　bruise　still　lingered　on　the　chin　where　Kid　Brady's　upper…cut　had　landed　at　their　previous　meeting。
　〃I　cannot　offer　you　all　seats；〃　he　went　on；　〃unless　you　care　to　dispose　yourselves　upon　the　tables。　I　wonder　if　you　know　my　friend；　Mr。　Bat　Jarvis？　And　my　friend；　Mr。　L。　Otto？　Let　us　all　get　acquainted　on　this　merry　occasion。〃
　The　three　invaders　had　been　aware　of　the　presence　of　the　great　Bat　and　his　colleague　for　some　moments；　and　the　meeting　seemed　to　be　causing　them　embarrassment。　This　may　have　been　due　to　the　fact　that　both　Mr。　Jarvis　and　Mr。　Otto　had　produced　and　were　toying　meditatively　with　distinctly　ugly…looking　pistols。
　Mr。　Jarvis　spoke。
　〃Well；〃　he　said；　〃what's　doin'？〃
　Mr。　Repetto；　to　whom　the　remark　was　directly　addressed；　appeared　to　have　some　difficulty　in　finding　a　reply。　He　shuffled　his　feet；　and　looked　at　the　floor。　His　two　panions　seemed　equally　at　a　loss。
　〃Goin'　to　start　any　rough　stuff？〃　inquired　Mr。　Jarvis　casually。
　〃The　cigars　are　on　the　table；〃　said　Psmith　hospitably。　〃Draw　up　your　chairs；　and　let's　all　be　jolly。　I　will　open　the　proceedings　with　a　song。〃
　In　a　rich　baritone；　with　his　eyeglass　fixed　the　while　on　Mr。　Repetto；　he　proceeded　to　relieve　himself　of　the　first　verse　of　〃I　only　know　I　love　thee。〃
　〃Chorus；　please；〃　he　added；　as　he　finished。　〃e　along；　rade　Repetto。　Why　this　shrinking　coyness？　Fling　out　your　chest；　and　cut　loose。〃
　But　Mr。　Repetto's　eye　was　fastened　on　Mr。　Jarvis's　revolver。　The　sight　apparently　had　the　effect　of　quenching　his　desire　for　song。
　〃'Lov'　muh；　ahnd　ther　world　isahmine！'〃　concluded　Psmith。
　He　looked　round　the　assembled　pany。
　〃rade　Otto；〃　he　observed；　〃will　now　recite　that　pathetic　little　poem　'Baby's　Sock　is　now　a　Blue…bag。'　Pray；　gentlemen；　silence　for　rade　Otto。〃
　He　looked　inquiringly　at　the　long　youth；　who　remained　mute。　Psmith　clicked　his　tongue　regretfully。
　〃rade　Jarvis；〃　he　said；　〃I　fear　that　as　a　smoking…concert　this　is　not　going　to　be　a　success。　I　understand；　however。　rade　Repetto　and　his　colleagues　have　e　here　on　business；　and　nothing　will　make　them　forget　it。　Typical　New　York　men　of　affairs；　they　close　their　minds　to　all　influences　that　might　lure　them　from　their　business。　Let　us　get　on；　then。　What　did　you　wish　to　see　me　about；　rade　Repetto？〃
　Mr。　Repetto's　reply　was　unintelligible。
　Mr。　Jarvis　made　a　suggestion。
　〃Youse　had　better　beat　it；〃　he　said。
　Long　Otto　grunted　sympathy　with　this　advice。
　〃And　youse　had　better　go　back　to　Spider　Reilly；〃　continued　Mr。　Jarvis；　〃and　tell　him　that　there's　nothin'　doin'　in　the　way　of　rough　house　wit　dis　gent　here。〃　He　indicated　Psmith；　who　bowed。　〃And　you　can　tell　de　Spider；〃　went　on　Bat　with　growing　ferocity；　〃dat　next　time　he　gits　gay　and　starts　in　to　shoot　guys　in　me　dance…joint　I'll　bite　de　head　off'n　him。　See？　Does　dat　go？　If　he　t'inks　his　little　two…by…four　gang　can　put　it　across　de　Groome　Street；　he　can　try。　Dat's　right。　An'　don't　fergit　dis　gent　here　and　me　is　pals；　and　any　one　dat　starts　anyt'ing　wit　dis　gent　is　going　to　have　to　git　busy　wit　me。　Does　dat　go！〃
　Psmith　coughed；　and　shot　his　cuffs。
　〃I　do　not　know；〃　he　said；　in　the　manner　of　a　chairman　addressing　a　meeting；　〃that　I　have　anything　to　add　to　the　very　well…expressed　remarks　of　my　friend；　rade　Jarvis。　He　has；　in　my　opinion；　covered　the　ground　very　thoroughly　and　satisfactorily。　It　now　only　remains　for　me　to　pass　a　vote　of　thanks　to　rade　Jarvis　and　to　declare　this　meeting　at　an　end。〃
　〃Beat　it；〃　said　Mr。　Jarvis；　pointing　to　the　door。
　The　delegation　then　withdrew。
　〃I　am　very　much　obliged；〃　said　Psmith；　〃for　your　courtly　assistance；　rade　Jarvis。　But　for　you　I　do　not　care　to　think　with　what　a　splash　I　might　not　have　been　immersed　in　the　gumbo。　Thank　you；　rade　Jarvis。　And　you；　rade　Otto。〃
　〃Aw　chee！〃　said　Mr。　Jarvis；　handsomely　dismissing　the　matter。　Mr。　Otto　kicked　the　leg　of　the　table；　and　grunted。
　For　half　an　hour　after　the　departure　of　the　Three　Pointers　Psmith　chatted　amiably　to　his　two　assistants　on　matters　of　general　interest。　The　exchange　of　ideas　was　somewhat　one…sided；　though　Mr。　Jarvis　had　one　or　two　striking　items　of　information　to　impart；　notably　some　hints　on　the　treatment　of　fits　in　kittens。
　At　the　end　of　this　period　the　conversation　was　once　more　interrupted　by　the　sound　of　movements　in　the　outer　office。
　〃If　dat's　dose　stiffs　e　back〃　began　Mr。　Jarvis；　reaching　for　his　revolver。
　〃Stay　your　hand；　rade　Jarvis；〃　said　as　a　sharp　knock　sounded　on　the　door。　〃I　do　not　think　it　can　be　our　late　friends。　rade　Repetto's　knowledge　of　the　usages　of　polite　society　is　too　limited；　I　fancy；　to　prompt　him　to　knock　on　doors。　e　in。〃
　The　door　opened。　It　was　not　Mr。　Repetto　or　his　colleagues；　but　another　old　friend。　No　other；　in　fact；　than　Mr。　Francis　Parker；　he　who　had　e　as　an　embassy　from　the　man　up　top　in　the　very　beginning　of　affairs；　and　had　departed；　wrathful；　mouthing　declarations　of　war。　As　on　his　previous　visit；　he　wore　the　dude　suit；　the　shiny　shoes；　and　the　tall…shaped　hat。
　〃Wele；　rade　Parker；〃　said　Psmith。　〃It　is　too　long　since　we　met。　rade　Jarvis　I　think　you　know。　If　I　am　right；　that　is　to　say；　in　supposing　that　it　was　you　who　approached　him　at　an　earlier　stage　in　the　proceedings　with　a　view　to　engaging　his　sympathetic　aid　in　the　great　work　of　putting　rade　Windsor　and　myself　out　of　business。　The　gentleman　on　your　left　is　rade　Otto。〃
　Mr。　Parker　was　looking　at　Bat　in　bewilderment。　It　was　plain　that　he　had　not　expected　to　find　Psmith　entertaining　such　pany。
　〃Did　you　e　purely　for　friendly　chit…chat；　rade　Parker；〃　inquired　Psmith；　〃or　was　there；　woven　into　the　social　motives　of　your　call；　a　desire　to　talk　business　of　any　kind？〃
　〃My　business　is　private。　I　didn't　expect　a　crowd。〃
　〃Especially　of　ancient　friends　such　as　rade　Jarvis。　Well；　well；　you　are　breaking　up　a　most　interesting　little　symposium。　rade　Jarvis；　I　think　I　shall　be　forced　to　postpone　our　very　entertaining　discussion　of　fits　in　kittens　till　a　more　opportune　moment。　Meanwhile；　as　rade　Parker　wishes　to　talk　over　some　private　business〃
　Bat　Jarvis　rose。
　〃I'll　beat　it；〃　he　said。
　〃Reluctantly；　I　hope；　rade　Jarvis。　As　reluctantly　as　I　hint　that　I　would　be　alone。　If　I　might　drop　in　some　time　at　your　private　residence？〃
　〃Sure；〃　said　Mr。　Jarvis　warmly。
　〃Excellent。　Well；　for　the　present；　good…bye。　And　many　thanks　for　your　invaluable　co…operation。〃
　〃Aw　chee！〃　said　Mr。　Jarvis。
　〃And　now；　rade　Parker；〃　said　Psmith；　when　the　door　had　closed；　〃let　her　rip。　What　can　I　do　for　you？〃
　〃You　seem　to　be　all　to　the　merry　with　Bat　Jarvis；〃　observed　Mr。　Parker。
　〃The　phrase　exactly　expresses　it；　rade　Parker。　I　am　as　a　tortoiseshell　kitten　to　him。　But；　touching　your　business？〃
　Mr。　Parker　was　silent　for　a　moment。
　〃See　here；〃　he　said　at　last；　〃aren't　you　going　to　be　good？　Say；　what's　the　use　of　keeping　on　at　this　fool　game？　Why　not　quit　it　before　you　get　hurt？〃
　Psmith　smoothed　his　waistcoat　reflectively。
　〃I　may　be　wrong；　rade　Parker；〃　he　said；　〃but　it　seems　to　me　that　the　chances　of　my　getting　hurt　are　not　so　great　as　you　appear　to　imagine。　The　person　who　is　in　danger　of　getting　hurt　seems　to　me　to　be　the　gentleman　whose　name　is　on　that　paper　which　is　now　in　my　possession。〃
　〃Where　is　it？〃　demanded　Mr。　Par