hr.thecarpetbaggers-第44章

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t　will　wait。〃　He　hissed　at　a　passing　waiter；　〃Psst！〃
　The　waiter　stopped　and　bowed　respectfully；　〃Monsieur？〃
　Rina　sank　back　into　her　chair。　Jacques　looked　at　her　questioningly。　〃Pernod。　Over　ice。〃
　He　shuddered。　〃Over　ice；〃　he　repeated　to　the　waiter。　〃You　heard　mademoiselle。〃
　The　waiter　looked　at　her　quickly　with　that　glance　of　appraisal　that　all　Frenchmen　seemed　to　share。　〃Over　ice；　monsieur；〃　he　said。　〃The　usual　for　you？〃
　Jacques　nodded　and　the　waiter　left。　He　turned　back　to　Rina。　〃And　how　does　the　painting　go？〃　he　asked。　〃You　are　making　progress？〃
　Rina　laughed。　〃You　know　better　than　that。　I'm　afraid　I'll　never　be　a　painter。〃
　〃But　you　are　having　fun？〃
　She　turned　and　looked　out　at　the　street。　The　faint　smell　of　May　that　came　only　to　Paris　was　in　the　air。　The　truck　drivers　were　already　in　their　shirt　sleeves　and　the　women　had　long　since　begun　to　abandon　their　drab　gray　and　black　winter　coats。
　〃You　do　not　answer；〃　he　said。
　She　turned　back　to　him　as　the　waiter　came　with　their　drinks。　〃I'm　having　fun；〃　she　said；　picking　up　her　drink。
　〃You　are　not　sure？〃　he　persisted。
　She　smiled　suddenly。　〃Of　course　I'm　sure。〃
　He　lifted　his　glass。　〃à　votre　santé。〃
　〃à　votre　santé；〃　she　echoed。
　He　put　his　glass　down。　〃And　your　friend？〃　he　asked。　〃How　is　she？〃
　〃Peggy's　fine；〃　Rina　said　automatically。　She　looked　at　him　steadily。　〃Peggy　is　very　good　to　me。　I　don't　know　what　I'd　do　without　her。〃
　〃How　do　you　know？〃　he　said　quickly。　〃You　have　never　tried。　You　could　be　many　things。　You　are　young；　beautiful。　You　could　marry；　have　children；　you　could　even…　〃
　〃Be　your　mistress？〃　She　smiled；　interrupting。
　He　nodded　and　smiled。　〃Even　be　my　mistress。　That　is　not　the　worst　thing　that　could　happen。　But　you　remember　my　terms。〃
　She　looked　into　his　face。　〃You're　a　very　kind　man；　Jacques；〃　she　said；　remembering　the　afternoon　she　had　first　heard　them。
　She　and　Peggy　had　been　in　Paris　a　few　months　and　had　just　found　their　apartment；　after　her　father　had　given　his　permission　for　her　to　stay　in　Paris　for　a　year。　Peggy　had　taken　her　to　a　party　given　by　a　professor　at　the　University；　where　she　had　just　begun　to　work。
　Rina　felt　very　alone　at　the　party。　Her　French　was　not　good　enough　to　let　her　mix　easily　and　she　had　retreated　to　a　corner。　She　was　leafing　through　a　magazine　when　she　heard　a　voice。　〃Miss　Américaine？〃
　She　looked　up。　A　slim；　dark　man　with　a　touch　of　gray　at　his　temples　was　standing　there。　He　was　smiling　gently。
　〃Non　parle　fran…　〃
　〃I　speak　English；〃　he　said　quickly。
　She　smiled。
　〃And　what　is　a　pretty　girl　like　you　doing　all　alone　with　a　magazine？〃　he　asked。　〃Who　is　fool　enough　to　bring　you　to　a　party　like　this　and　then…　〃　He　gestured　expressively。
　〃My　friend　brought　me；〃　Rina　said；　indicating　Peggy。　〃She　has　just　got　a　job　at　the　University。〃
　Peggy　was　talking　animatedly　with　one　of　the　professors。　She　looked　very　attractive　in　her　slim；　tailored　suit。　〃Oh；〃　he　said；　a　strangely　quizzical　look　on　his　face。
　〃And　whom　did　you　bring？〃
　〃No　one。〃　He　shrugged。　〃Actually。　I　came　in　the　hopes　of　meeting　you。〃
　She　glanced　at　his　hands　and　saw　that　he　wore　a　wedding　ring；　as　so　many　Frenchmen　did。　〃You　don't　expect　me　to　believe　that？〃　she　said。　〃What　would　your　wife　say？〃
　He　smiled　and　laughed　with　her。　〃My　wife　would　be　very　understanding。　She　could　not　e　with　me。　She　is　very；　very　pregnant。〃　He　held　his　arms　out　in　an　exaggerated　circle　in　front　of　him。
　She　laughed　again　and　just　then；　Peggy's　voice　came　over　her　shoulder。　〃Having　fun；　darling？〃
　Some　weeks　later；　she　was　alone　in　the　apartment　one　afternoon　when　the　telephone　rang。　It　was　Jacques　and　she　met　him　for　lunch。　And　several　times　after　that。
　Then　one　afternoon　…　it　had　been　a　day　just　like　this　one　…　they　sat　dawdling　over　their　liqueurs。　〃Why　are　you　so　afraid　of　men？〃　he　asked　her　suddenly。
　She　felt　the　red　fire　creep　up　into　her　throat　and　over　her　face。　〃What　makes　you　say　that？〃
　〃I　have　the　feeling；〃　he　said。　〃Inside。　I　know。〃
　She　looked　down　at　her　drink。　She　didn't　speak。
　〃Your　friend　is　not　the　answer；〃　he　said。
　She　looked　up　at　him。　〃Peggy　has　nothing　to　do　with　it。　She's　a　good　friend；　no　more。〃
　He　smiled　knowingly。　〃You　are　in　France；　remember？　There　is　nothing　wrong；　we　understand　such　things。　But　I　do　not　understand　you。　You　are　not　the　usual　kind　who　lives　like　that。〃
　She　could　feel　her　face　flaming　now。　〃I　don't　think　that's　very　nice　of　you。〃
　He　laughed。　〃It　is　not；〃　he　admitted　frankly。　〃But　I　do　not　like　to　see　you　waste　yourself。〃
　〃You'd　like　it　better　if　I　went　to　sleep　with　some　clumsy　fool　who　knows　nothing　and　cares　less　about　the　way　I　feel？〃　she　said　angrily。
　He　shook　his　head。　〃No。　I　would　not　like　that　at　all。　I　would　like　you　to　e　to　bed　with　me。〃
　〃What　makes　you　think　it　would　be　any　different　with　you？〃
　He　looked　into　her　eyes。　〃Because　I　am　a　man；　not　a　boy。　Because　I　would　want　to　please　you。　Boys　are　like　bulls；　they　think　only　of　themselves。　In　this　you　are　right。　But　because　of　this；　do　not　think　that　it　is　only　women　who　know　how　to　make　love。　There　are　men　also　who　are　aware　of　the　sensitivities。〃
　〃Like　yourself？〃　she　asked　sarcastically。
　〃Like　myself。　Do　you　think　I　see　you　again　and　again　only　because　I　have　a　purely　intellectual　interest　in　you？〃
　She　laughed　suddenly。　〃At　least　you　are　honest。〃
　〃I　am　a　great　believer　in　the　truth。〃
　
　A　few　months　later；　on　a　rainy　afternoon；　she　went　to　his　apartment　and　it　was　just　as　he　said。　He　was　kind　and　gentle　and　she　did　not　hurt　at　all。　And　all　the　while；　she　felt　the　power　in　her；　the　power　to　bring　him　to　a　point　of　ecstasy　from　which　he　would　never　return；　a　power　that　could　never　turn　into　terror　for　her　because　she　could　always　control　it　or　him。
　She　watched　him　buttoning　his　shirt　in　front　of　the　mirror。　〃Jacques。〃
　He　turned。　〃What　is　it；　my　sweet？〃
　She　held　out　her　arms　to　him。　〃e　here；　Jacques。〃
　He　came　over　to　the　bed。　He　bent　swiftly　and　kissed　her　naked　breast。　〃When　you　make　love；　my　darling；〃　he　said；　〃your　nipples　are　full　like　bursting　purple　plums。　Now　they　are　like　little　pink　poppies。〃
　〃It　was　like　you　said　it　would　be；　Jacques。〃
　〃I　am　glad。〃
　She　took　his　strong　brown　hands　in　her　own　and　looked　down　at　them。　His　gold　wedding　ring　shone　up　at　her。　She　looked　up　into　his　face。　〃I　think　I　would　like　to　be　your　mistress；〃　she　said　softly。
　〃Bon；〃　he　said。　〃I　had　hoped　you　would　say　that。　That　is　why　I　took　this　little　apartment。　You　can　move　in　tonight。〃
　She　was　surprised。　〃Move　in　here？〃
　He　nodded。　〃If　you　do　not　like　this　place；　I　will　get　another。〃
　〃But　I　can't　do　that！　What　about　Peggy？〃
　〃What　about　her？〃　He　shrugged。　〃It　is　fini。〃
　〃Can't　we　just　go　on　like　this？　I'll　meet　you　here　whenever　you　like。〃
　〃You　mean　you　will　not　move　in？〃
　She　shook　her　head。　〃I　can't。　What　would　Peggy　do？　She　needs　my　help　to　keep　the　apartment。　Besides；　if　my　father　ever　found　out；　he'd　kill　me。〃
　〃But　he　does　not　worry　about　your　living　with　that　…　that　lesbienne？〃　he　said　bitterly。
　〃You　don't　know　my　father。　Back　in　Boston；　they　don't　ever　think　about　things　like　that。〃
　〃What　does　he　think　she　is？〃
　〃What　she　has　always　been；〃　she　answered。　〃My　teacher；　my　panion。〃
　He　laughed　shortly。　〃She　has　been　your　teacher；　yes。〃
　〃Oh；　Jacques；〃　she　said　in　a　hurt　voice。　〃Don't　spoil　everything　now。　Why　can't　we　go　on　like　this？〃
　He　looked　at　her。　〃Then　you　won't　move　in　here？〃
　〃I　can't；〃　she　said。　〃Don't　you　understand；　I　can't。〃
　He　got　to　his　feet；　and　walked　back　to　the　dresser。　He　finished　buttoning　his　shirt　and　picked　up　his　tie。
　〃I　don't　see　what　difference　it　would　make。　After　all；　you're　married。　How　much　time　do　you　think　you　could　spend　here；　anyway？〃
　He　studied　her。　〃That　is　different；〃　he　said　coldly。
　〃Different？〃　she　shouted　in　anger。　〃Why　is　it　different　for　you　and　not　for　me？〃
　He　stared　at　her。　〃A　man　may　be　unfaithful　to　his　wife；　as　she　may　to　him　if　she　is　so　minded。　But　a　man　is　never　unfaithful　to　his　mistress；　nor　is　a　woman　unfaithful　to　her　lover。〃
　〃But　Peggy　is　not　a　man！〃
　〃No；　she　is　not；〃　he　said　grimly。　〃She　is　something　worse　than　a　man。〃
　Rina　looked　at　him　for　a　moment。　She　drew　her　head　up　proudly。　〃Those　are　your　terms？〃　she　asked　quietly。
　She　sat　there　proudly；　her　back　straight；　her　naked　breasts　magnificent　over　her　deep　chest。　He　could　see　the　outlines　of　her　ribs　against　her　flesh　as　they　rose　and　fell　with　her　breath。　Never　in　my　life　have　I　known　so　much　beauty；　he　thought。　Aloud　he　said；　〃If　that's　the　way　you　put　it；　those　are　my　terms。〃
　She　didn't　answer。
　〃I　just　don't　understand；〃　she　said。　She　looked　up　at　him。　〃You　had　better　hand　me　my　dress。〃
　That　had　been　many　months　ago　and　oddly　enough；　they　still　remained　friends。　She　raised　the　Pernod　to　her　lips　and　emptied　her　glass。　〃And　now　I　really　must　go；〃　she　said。　〃I　promised　Pavan　I　would　be　at　his　studio　by　three　o'clock。〃
　He　raised　an　eyebrow。　〃Pavan？　You　have　taken　up　sculpting？〃
　She　shook　her　head。　〃No；　I'm　modeling　for　him。〃
　Jacques　knew　how　Pavan　worked。　He　used　many　models　for　just　one　statue。　He　was　always　trying　to　create　the　ideal。　He　would　never　succeed。
　She　felt　his　quizzical　gaze　sweep　down　to　her　breasts。　She　laughed。　〃No；　it's　not　what　you　think。〃
　〃No？〃　he　asked。　〃Why　not？〃
　〃He　says　they're　too　large。〃
　〃He　is　mad；〃　Jacques　said　quickly。　〃But　then；　all　artists　are　mad。　What　is　it；　then？〃
　She　got　to　her　feet。　〃My　pubis；〃　she　said。
　For　the　first　time　since　she　had　known　him；　he　was　speechless。
　She　laughed。
　He　found　his　voice。　〃But　why？〃
　〃Because　it's　the　highest　mountain　any　man　will　ever　climb；　he　says；　and　more　men　will　die　trying　to　climb　it　than　ever　fell　from　Mount　Everest。〃　She　smiled　and　bent　over　him。　〃But　we　won't　tell　him　that　you　survived　the　ascent；　will　we；　Jacques？〃
　She　kissed　his　cheek　quickly　and　turned　and　walked　out　onto　the　sidewalk。　He　watched　her　until　she　was　lost　in　the　crowded　street；　then　turned　back　to　the　waiter。　〃Psst！〃　he　said。　〃I　think　I　will　have　another　drink！〃
　
　11
　SHE　HURRIED　PAST　THE　POLITE　GREETING　OF　the　concierge；　up　the　three　narrow　flights　of　the　staircase。　She'd　stayed　at　the　studio　later　than　she　thought。　There　would　be　just　enough　time　to　prepare　dinner　before　Peggy　got　home。
　Rina　went　through　the　tiny　living　room　into　the　kitchen。　Swiftly　she　lit　the　gas　under　the　hot…water　heater　for　the　tub　and　with　the　same　match；　the　oven；　leaving　the　flame　low。　She　took　the　small；　browned　chicken　she'd　just　purchased；　already　cooked；　at　the　corner　rotisserie　and　put　it　into　a　pan　and　into　the　oven　to　keep　warm。　Rapidly　she　sliced　bread　from　a　long　loaf；　arranged　it　next　to　a　large　piece　of　cheese　and　began　to　set　the　table。　In　a　few　minutes；　she　was　finished。
　She　looked　down　at　her　watch。　There　would　even　be　time　enough　for　a　bath　if　the　water　was　hot　enough。　She　walked　over　and　felt　the　tank。　It　was　lukewarm。　There　would　be　enough　if　she　didn't　fill　the　tub　more　than　half　full。
　She　walked　back　into　the　living　room　on　her　way　to　the　bathroom；　her　fingers　already　busy　with　the　buttons　of　her　blouse。　The　door　opened　and　she　turned　toward　it。　〃You're　early；〃　she　said。
　Peggy　looked　at　her　coldly　and　without　a