kutzkattherine.the bishopsheir-第57章

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ost　reverently　as　he　held　it　out　to　Duncan。
〃Here。　You　probably　ought　to　have　this　back。〃
〃No；　you　keep　it；　in　memory　of　your　mother。〃
〃But　…　that　leaves　you　with　nothing　of　hers；〃　Dhugal　began。
〃It　leaves　me　with　everything；〃　Duncan　replied；　touching　a　fingertip　to　Dhugal's　cheek。　〃I　have　her　son。〃

And　in　another　chamber　not　far　away；　another；　spiritual　son　prepared　for　his　nuptials；　fretting　and　impatient　as　his　dressers　made　final　adjustments　to　his　wedding　finery。　The　velvet　of　Kelson's　full…length　crimson　cloak　was　powdered　with　scores　of　tiny　Haldane　lions　worked　in　fine　gold　bullion；　his　tunic　quartered　in　the　same　fabric　for　two　panels　and　its　reverse　for　the　other　two；　silk…embroidered　lions　of　scarlet　on　cloth　of　gold。　As　a　pliment　to　his　bride's　highland　ancestry；　he　had　bound　his　hair　at　the　nape　of　his　neck　with　a　golden　cord；　though　it　was　not　braided；　border…style。　A　golden　state　crown　of　crosses　and　leaves　intertwined　had　been　brought　out　of　the　vaults　of　the　castle　treasury；　said　to　have　been　worn　by　Malcolm　Haldane　at　his　wedding　to　another　Mearan　princess　nearly　a　century　before；　and　Kelson　ran　a　careful　finger　along　one　of　the　leaves　and　glanced　at　Morgan　as　the　dressers　packed　up　the　last　of　their　accoutrements　and　left。　Some　even　said　the　crown　had　once　belonged　to　Cinhil　Haldane；　perhaps　even　the　infamous　Festils　before　him。　If　it　had；　perhaps　Saint　Camber　had　seen　and　even　touched　it。
〃Do　you　think　I'm　doing　the　right　thing？〃　Kelson　asked　Morgan；　when　they　were　alone　at　last。　〃It　isn't　what　I　always　dreamed　of。　God　knows　…　a　marriage　of　state；　with　a　girl　I　hardly　know；　much　less　love。〃
〃Are　you　asking　for　a　reiteration　of　all　the　objective　reasons　why　the　marriage　should　take　place？〃　Morgan　countered。
〃God；　no！　We've　gone　over　them　so　many　times；　I　could　recite　them　by　rote；　in　voices　appropriate　to　the　councillors　who　made　each　particular　point。〃　Kelson　sighed。　〃I　suppose　I'm　really　asking　whether　you　think　there's　any　chance　of　real　love　creeping　in　amid　all　those　reasons　of　state。　I　know　objections　of　the　heart　have　to　e　second　to　duty　when　one　is　king；　but　I　can't　help　envying　what　you　and　Richenda　have。〃
Morgan　smiled；　remembering　his　own　fears　on　his　wedding　day；　even　though　he　and　Richenda　had　loved　one　another　as　only　Deryni；　who　had　shared　minds　and　dreams　and　fears；　could。　He　doubted　Kelson　would　ever　find　that　perfect　meshing　of　souls　with　the　human　Sidana；　but　who　could　say？　Couples　often　fell　in　love　after　marriage；　and　grew　to　cherish　one　another。　If　both　Kelson　and　Sidana　made　an　honest　effort；　their　union　should　not　be　too　oppressive。　And　with　peace　as　the　potential　prize　…　
〃I　won't　try　to　tell　you　that　I　know　you'll　live　happily　ever　after；　as　the　bards　would　have　us　believe；〃　he　said　after　a　moment。　〃It　won't　be　easy。　On　the　other　hand；　Richenda　tells　me　that　your　princess　does　grow　wistful　about　you　on　occasion。　Of　course　Sidana　would　never　admit　that　she's　at　least　a　little　excited　about　your　ing　marriage　…　she's　far　too　proud　for　that。　But　she　is　a　beautiful；　healthy　young　girl　…　and　you　are　the　most　eligible；　puissant；　and　attractive　prince　in　all　Christendom。　How　could　she　not　find　you　desirable？〃
Kelson　blushed　furiously。　〃Alaric；　stop　that！　You're　putting　it　on　such　a　…　a　carnal　level！　If　she　can　e　to　love　me；　I　want　our　love　to　be　…　well；　spiritual；　like　yours　and　Richenda's。〃
〃Spiritual？〃　Morgan　snorted。　〃Kelson；　do　you　think　that　Richenda　and　I　spend　all　our　time　alone　discussing　the　spiritual　aspects　of　our　relationship。〃
〃Well；　I　…　〃
〃That's　a　part　of　it；　of　course；〃　Morgan　went　on；　〃but　I　assure　you　that　the　'carnal　level；'　as　you　put　it；　is　very；　very　nice；　as　well。　Don't　sell　your　body　short。　It's　a　part　of　who　and　what　you　are。　Lofty　love　is　well　and　good　for　monks；　and　a　healthy　measure　of　it　gives　marriage　deeper　dimension；　but　especially　with　a　human　wife；　where　you　won't　have　the　potential　for　such　sharing　of　minds；　you're　going　to　find　that　the　physical　act　of　love　is　a　very　special　means　of　munication　and　munion　in　itself。　And　of　course；　on　a　very　practical　level；　it's　essential　for　begetting　heirs。〃
〃Yes；　well　…　〃　Kelson　turned　and　paced　back　and　forth　several　times；　hands　clasped　nervously　before　him；　his　cloak　stirring　around　his　heels。　When　he　finally　stopped　to　glance　aside　at　Morgan　again；　he　was　a　little　paler　against　his　crimson　raiment。
〃Alaric；　I　…　never　have；　you　know。〃
〃I　know；〃　Morgan　murmured　sympathetically；　but　Kelson　went　on　as　if　he　had　not　heard。
〃There　…　just　hasn't　been　time　…　not　to　do　it　the　way　I'd　always　dreamed；〃　the　king　whispered。　〃Oh；　there　could　have　been　casual　couplings　with　any　number　of　serving　wenches　and　maids　and　even　ladies　of　the　court　…　and　one　can　hardly　live　in　the　close　quarters　of　a　castle；　or　on　campaign；　and　not　have　seen　and　heard　enough　to　know　what　that's　all　about。　If　all　we're　talking　about　is　the　physical　drive；　then　every　page　and　peasant　boy　soon　learns　how　to　relieve　that。　Princes　are　no　exception。　But　I　am　more　than　just　my　body；　Alaric。　And　even　though　I've　never　…　been　with　a　woman；　I　know　there　has　to　be　more　to　making　love　than　just　the　physical　relief。〃
As　Morgan　nodded　wisely；　sensing　no　need　for　a　verbal　response。　Kelson　paused　only　long　enough　to　draw　breath　before　racing　on；　justifications　and　logic　jumbling　all　together　with　emotion　and　the　natural　apprehensions　of　the　sexually　uninitiated。
〃There's　another　thing；　too；〃　the　king　blurted；　starting　to　pace　again。　〃I'm　the　king。　What　if　there　had　been　children？　The　last　thing　I　need　plicating　the　already　convoluted　family　relationships　in　Gwynedd　is　a　succession　of　royal　bastards　to　muddy　the　waters　twenty　years　from　now　…　or　to　bee　pawns　in　my　enemies'　hands　at　any　time。　And　I'm　Deryni；　Alaric。　My　children　will　be；　too。　That　alone　might　have　been　enough　to　ensure　their　deaths　and　those　of　their　mothers。　It　just　seemed。。。　safer　to　abstain；　and　avoid　the　risk。〃
〃It　probably　was；〃　Morgan　agreed。
〃So　that　leaves　me　in　the　very　awkward　position　of　being　a　virgin　on　my　wedding　night；〃　Kelson　concluded。　〃That's　fine　for　a　woman；　it's　essential　in　the　woman　I　marry。　But　…　what　if　I　don't　know　what　to　do；　Alaric？　What　if　she　laughs　at　me？〃
Morgan　had　all　he　could　do　not　to　smile。　Was　there　a　man　alive　who　had　not　had　such　fears；　at　least　in　the　beginning？　And　some　never　really　lost　those　fears　…　though　Kelson；　with　his　gentleness　and　his　genuine　concern　for　others；　was　not　likely　to　be　left　with　that　dilemma。
With　avuncular　understanding；　then；　Morgan　put　an　arm　around　Kelson's　shoulders　and　did　his　best　to　reassure；　reminding　the　virgin　Kelson　of　his　young　bride's　similar　state　and　suggesting　ways　that　the　king　might　sense　how　best　to　please　her。　That　idea　had　never　even　occurred　to　Kelson。　By　the　time　Dhugal　appeared　at　the　door　with　the　rest　of　the　king's　wedding　procession。　Kelson　could　relax　and　even　banter　with　his　more　worldly　foster　brother　as　he　put　on　his　crown　and　went　out　to　meet　his　bride。

*　　　　*　　　*
The　horses　and　the　bride's　pany　were　waiting　in　the　castle　yard　under　a　sky　of　palest　winter　blue；　Sidana　gowned　in　slightly　darker　shades　of　the　same　and　seated　on　a　milk　white　palfrey　with　white　and　silver　bardings。　The　fine　wool　of　her　mantle；　a　deeper　azure　embroidered　with　golden　pomegranates　all　around　the　hem；　had　been　spread　over　her　horse's　rump　so　that　it　nearly　trailed　the　ground　in　the　back。　She　was　crowned　with　a　wreath　of　white　roses；　her　long；　chestnut　hair　spilling　down　her　back　to　nearly　veil　the　mantle。
Llewell　stood　at　her　horse's　head；　nervously　knotting　and　unknotting　the　animal's　white　leather　lead…rein　in　gloved　fingers　…　a　brooding　shadow　in　darker　blue　than　Sidana's；　scowling　into　the　sun。　A　little　way　behind；　Richenda　and　three　other　ladies　waited　on　pale　grey　palfreys；　ready　to　attend　the　bride。　Others　of　the　king's　attendants　were　already　mounted　up　as　well。　Deny　holding　the　reins　of　his　black　stallion。　To　one　side；　four　of　Kelson's　knights　were　readying　a　canopy　of　sky　blue　silk　to　carry　over　the　bride。　None　of　the　four　ranked　lower　than　an　earl's　son。
〃We　are　blessed　with　fair　weather　for　our　nuptials；　my　lady；〃　Kelson　said；　inclining　his　head　in　tentative　greeting　when　he；　Morgan；　and　Dhugal　had　made　their　way　through　the　horses　and　bowing　courtiers　and　stopped　before　her。　〃I　trust　that　my　people　have　made　you　wele　and　carried　out　the　preparations　to　your　satisfaction。〃
〃Satisfaction？〃　Llewell　said　before　Sidana　could　reply。　〃How　can　there　be　satisfaction　when　we　are　prisoners？〃
〃Your　bondage　has　been　light；　I　think；〃　Kelson　murmured；　hoping　desperately　that　Llewell　was　not　going　to　make　a　scene。　〃You　have　not　been　ill…used。〃
〃Ah；　and　you　do　not　consider　that　you　ill　use　my　sister　by　forcing　her　to　agree　to　this　marriage？〃　Llewell　asked。
I　thought　he'd　agreed　to　cooperate；　Morgan　said　to　Kelson；　as　Sidana　drew　in　a　breath　of　horror　and　Kelson's　jaw　tightened。　Do　you　want　me　to　put　him　to　sleep？
No；　just　shake　him　up　a　bit。　Sidana　wants　him　to　escort　her。
As　you　wish。
Without　a　flicker　of　warning；　Morgan　reached　across　to　seize　Llewell's　upper　arm　in　a　vise…grip；　though　his　pleasant　expression　did　not　alter。
〃The　lady　has　agreed　to　an　honorable　marriage；〃　he　said　softly。　〃Now；　will　you　hold　your　tongue；　or　must　I　thrash　you　over　my　knee　for　the　spoiled；　ill…bred　young　boor　that　you　are？〃
〃You　wouldn't　dare！〃
〃Wouldn't　I？〃
〃Llewell；　please　…　〃
〃Stay　out　of　this；　Sidana！〃
〃My　prince；〃　Morgan　murmured；　his　hand　clamping　tighter　on　Llewell's　arm；　〃by　your　leave；　I　shall　escort　this　young　fool　to　a　place　where　he　can　do　no　one　any　harm　…　himself　included。〃
〃Now　yet。　Llewell；〃　Kelson　said　quietly；　〃you　have　found　me　an　unmonly　patient　man　so　far。　You　may　judge　the　truth　of　that　by　the　fact　that　you　are　still　alive；　even　though　your　mother　treacherously　slew　my　bishop　and　you　yourself　claim　to　stand　between　your　sister　and　the　Mearan　crown。　Out　of　concern　for　the　feelings　of　my　bride；　I　am　willing　to　overlook　a　great　deal。　But　I　will　not　have　your　insolence；　and　I　will　not　have　you　disrupting　your　sister's　wedding　and　coronation。　Now；　are　you　certain　you　want　to　pursue　this　line　of　resistance？〃
Llewell's　eyes　blazed　with　undisguised　hatred；　but　after　a　few　seconds；　he　turned　his　head　away。
〃You'd　only　use　your　black　magic　on　me；　if　I　tried；〃　he　muttered　into　the　horse's　mane。
〃What　did　you　say？〃　Kelson　gasped。
As　Morgan　jerked　Llewell　around　to　face　them；　even　angrier　than　he　had　been。　Kelson　moved　closer　incredulously。
〃I　…　said　that　you'd　only　use　your　accursed　powers　on　me；　if　I　didn't　agree　to　cooperate！〃　Llewell　said　haltingly；　still　defiant；　though　he　winced　at　the　pressure　of　Morgan's　fingers　digging　into　his　biceps。　〃As　your　Deryni　priest　did　before。〃
〃Are　you　trying　to　goad　me　into　an　act　we'll　both　regret？〃　Kelson　whispered。
〃Llewell；　please！〃　Sidana　begged。　〃For　my　sake。　You　can't　stop　the　marriage。　You　promised　you　would　stand　beside　me。　If　they　take　you　away；　I'll　be　all　alone！〃
Heaving　a　heavy；　defeated　sigh；　Llewell　drew　himself　up　with　as　much　dignity　as　he　could　salvage　from　the　situation；　though　Morgan's　hand　remained　clamped　on　his　arm。
〃I　see　I　am　also　alone；〃　he　said　evenly。　〃But　I'll　not　deprive　my　sister　of　the　escort　to