tg.stone of tears-第52章

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the　ground　beneath　her　feet。　She　thought　that　maybe　it　had　something　to　do　with　the　magic　of　the　collar；　something　to　do　with　the　Sisters。
　
　She　knew；　when　she　glanced　at　Sister　Verna　and　saw　her　eyes　glide　around；　that　it　wasn't。
　
　Richard　smoothly　rose　to　his　feet　before　the　Sister。　'You　may　find；　Sister　Verna；　that　holding　the　leash　to　this　collar　is　worse　than　wearing　it。'　He　gritted　his　teeth。　'Much　worse。'
　
　Sister　Verna's　voice　remained　calm。　'We　only　want　to　help　you；　Richard。'
　
　He　nodded　slightly。　'I　take　nothing　on　faith。　You　will　have　to　prove　it。'
　
　In　a　panic；　a　sudden　thought　came　to　Kahlan。　'What　is　the　third　reason？　What　is　the　third　reason　for　the　collar？'
　
　Richard　turned　to　her　with　a　glare　that　even　his　father　could　not　have　matched。　For　a　moment；　she　forgot　how　to　breathe。
　
　'The　first　reason　is　to　control　the　headaches　and　open　my　mind　so　that　I　may　be　taught　to　use　the　gift。　The　second　reason　is　to　control　me。'　His　hand　came　up　and　grabbed　her　by　the　throat。　His　eyes　sliced　through　her。　'The　third　reason　is　to　give　me　pain。'
　
　She　closed　her　eyes　with　a　wail。　'No！　Dear　spirits；　no！'
　
　He　released　her　throat。　His　expression　went　slack；　lost。　'I　hope　I　have　proven　my　love　for　you；　Kahlan。　I　hope　you　believe　me　now。　I　have　given　you　everything。　I　hope　it　is　enough；　I　have　nothing　else　to　offer。　Nothing。'
　
　'You　have。　More　than　you　could　ever　realize。　I　love　you　more　than　anything　in　the　world；　Richard。'
　
　She　reached　out　to　touch　his　cheek。　He　pushed　her　hand　away。　His　eyes　said　it　all；　she　had　betrayed　him。
　
　'Do　you？'　He　looked　away。　'I　would　like　to　believe　you。'
　
　She　tried　to　swallow　the　painful；　burning　lump　in　her　throat。　'You　promised　me　you　would　never　doubt　my　love。'
　
　He　nodded　slightly。　'So　I　did。'
　
　If　she　could　have　called　lightning　down　on　herself；　she　would　have　done　it。　'Richard　。。。　I　know　you　don't　understand　right　now；　but　I　only　did　what　I　had　to　…　to　help　you　live。　To　keep　you　from　being　killed　by　the　headaches；　the　gift。　I　hope　that　someday　you　will　understand。　I　will　always　wait　for　you；　I　love　you　with　all　my　heart。'
　
　He　nodded　tearfully。　'If　that's　true；　then　find　Zedd。　Tell　him　what　you　have　done。　Tell　him。'
　
　Sister　Verna's　voice　broke　in。　'Richard；　take　your　things　and　go　wait　with　the　horses。'
　
　Looking　back　at　her；　he　nodded。　He　went　to　the　far　corner　and　picked　up　his　cloak；　bow；　and　pack。　Reaching　in；　he　pulled　out　the　three　leather　thongs；　the　one　with　the　Bird　Man's　whistle；　the　one　with　Scarlet's　tooth；　and　the　one　with　Denna's　Agiel。　As　Kahlan　watched　him　hang　the　three　of　them　around　his　neck；　she　wished　she　had　something　of　her　own　to　give　him。　She　tried　desperately　to　think　of　something。
　
　As　he　went　past　her；　she　put　a　hand　to　his　arm　and　stopped　him。　'Wait。'　Kahlan　pulled　the　knife　from　his　belt。　She　held　out　a　long　lock　of　her　hair　and　severed　it　with　the　knife。　She　didn't　even　think　about　what　she　was　doing；　what　happened　when　Confessors　cut　their　own　hair。
　
　With　a　scream　of　pain；　she　found　herself　on　the　ground。　The　magic　seared　through　her；　burning　every　nerve　in　its　passing。　She　fought　to　remain　conscious　as　she　gulped　for　air。　She　struggled　against　the　wrenching　pain　of　it。
　
　She　had　to　remain　conscious；　or　Richard　might　leave　before　she　could　give　it　to　him。　She　thought　of　only　that；　and　forced　herself　to　her　feet。　As　she　did　so；　the　pain　finally　abated。
　
　Still　panting；　Kahlan　pulled　a　small　blue　ribbon　from　the　waist　of　the　dress；　cut　it　too；　and　after　wrapping　the　long　strand　of　hair　around　two　fingers；　tied　it　together　in　the　middle　with　the　ribbon。　As　he　watched；　she　returned　the　knife　to　its　sheath　at　his　belt　and　put　the　lock　of　hair　in　his　shirt　pocket。
　
　'To　remind　you　always　that　my　heart　is　with　you　。。。　that　I　love　you。'
　
　Expressionless；　he　looked　at　her　a　long　moment。　'Find　Zedd；'　was　all　he　said　before　turning　and　going　through　the　doorway。
　
　Kahlan　stood；　staring　at　the　door　after　he　was　gone。　She　felt　numb；　empty；　lost。
　
　Sister　Verna　stopped　next　to　her；　watching　the　door　with　her。　That　was　probably　the　most　courageous　act　I　have　ever　witnessed；'　she　said　softly。　The　people　of　the　Midlands　are　fortunate　to　have　you　as　their　Mother　Confessor。'
　
　Kahlan　continued　to　stare　at　the　door。　'He　thinks　I　betrayed　him。'　She　turned　and　looked　at　the　Sister；　tears　welling　up　in　her　eyes。　'He　thinks　I　betrayed　him。'
　
　The　Sister　studied　her　face　for　a　time。　'You　have　not。　I　promise　you　that　in　time　I　will　help　him　to　see　the　truth　of　what　you　have　done　this　day。'
　
　'Please；'　she　begged；　'don't　hurt　him。'
　
　Sister　Verna　clasped　her　hands　in　front　of　herself　and　took　a　deep　breath。　'You　have　just　hurt　him　to　save　his　life。　Would　you　have　me　do　any　less？'
　
　A　tear　ran　down　her　cheek。　'I　guess　not。　And　I　doubt　you　could　do　anything　as　cruel　as　what　I　have　just　done。'
　
　Sister　Verna　nodded。　'I　fear　you　are　right。　But　I　will　give　you　my　promise　that　I　will　personally　watch　over　him；　and　see　to　it　that　what　is　done　is　only　what　is　necessary。　I　promise　you　that　I　will　not　let　it　go　one　inch　beyond　that。　Not　one　breath。　On　my　word　as　a　Sister　of　the　Light。'
　
　Thank　you。'　She　looked　down　at　the　knife　in　the　other's　hand。　The　sister　pushed　it　back　up　her　sleeve。　'You　would　have　killed　him。　If　he　said　no；　you　would　have　killed　him。'
　
　She　nodded。　'If　he　had　said　no；　the　pain　and　madness　at　the　end　would　have　been　grotesque。　I　would　have　spared　him　that。　But　it　doesn't　matter　now。　You　have　saved　his　life。　Thank　you；　Mother　Confessor　。。。　Kahlan。'
　
　Sister　Verna　stepped　toward　the　door。　'Sister？　How　long？　How　long　will　you　have　him？　How　long　will　I　have　to　wait？'
　
　The　Sister　didn't　turn。　'I'm　sorry；　I　can't　say。　It　takes　as　long　as　it　takes。　Much　of　it　is　up　to　him。　It　depends　on　how　fast　he　learns。'
　
　Kahlan　smiled　for　the　first　time。　'I　think　you　will　be　surprised　at　how　fast　Richard　learns。'
　
　Sister　Verna　nodded。　That　is　what　I　fear　most。　Knowledge　before　wisdom。　It　frightens　me　more　than　anything　else。'
　
　'I　think；　too；　that　Richard's　wisdom　may　surprise　you。'
　
　'I　pray　you　are　right。　Good…bye；　Kahlan。　Don't　try　to　follow；　or　he　will　die。'
　
　'Sister；　one　more　thing。'　The　cold　danger　in　her　own　voice　surprised　her。　'If　you　are　lying　to　me　about　any　of　it；　if　you　kill　him；　I　will　hunt　down　every　Sister　of　the　Light。　I　will　kill　every　last　one。　But　not　before　each　of　you　begs　endlessly　to　die。'
　
　The　Sister　stood　still　as　stone　a　moment　before　nodding　and　then　going　on　her　way。
　
　Kahlan　followed　her　out　and　stood　with　the　people　outside　as　she　watched　the　sister　mount　her　horse。　Richard　already　sat　tall　on　a　big　bay　gelding。　His　back　was　to　her　as　he　waited。
　
　Kahlan's　heart　was　breaking。　She　wanted　to　see　his　face　one　more　time；　but　he　didn't　turn　as　the　two　of　them　started　away。
　
　Kahlan　sank　to　her　knees。　'Richard；'　she　cried。　'I　love　you。'
　
　He　seemed　not　to　hear　her　as　he　and　Sister　Verna　disappeared　into　the　snowy　grasslands。　Kahlan　sat　on　the　ground；　in　her　wedding　dress；　her　head　hanging　down；　crying。　Weselan　put　an　arm　around　her；　forting　her。
　
　Kahlan　remembered　what　he　had　said：　Find　Zedd。　She　forced　herself　to　her　feet。　The　elders　were　all　there。　She　looked　around　at　them　all。
　
　'I　must　leave　at　once。　I　must　get　to　Aydindril。　I　need　some　men　to　go　with　me；　to　help　me；　to　be　sure　I　make　it。'
　
　Savidlin　came　up　next　to　her。　'I　go。　And　as　many　of　my　hunters　as　you　wish。　All　of　them；　if　you　wish。　We　will　take　a　hundred。'
　
　Kahlan　put　a　hand　on　his　shoulder　and　gave　him　a　little　smile。　Wo　I　do　not　wish　it　to　be　you；　my　friend；　or　your　hunters。　I　will　take　only　three　men。'　Everyone　mumbled　in　confusion。　'More　would　bring　attention；　maybe　trouble。　It　will　be　easier　with　three　to　slip　unnoticed。　It　will　take　less　time　that　way。'
　
　Kahlan　took　the　hand　away　and　pointed　at　a　man　who　stood　watching；　glaring。　'I　choose　you；　Chandalen。'　The　two　brothers　were　standing　to　his　side。　'And　you；　Prindin　and　Tossidin'
　
　Chandalen　stormed　forward。　'Me！　Why　would　you　want　me！'
　
　'Because　I　must　not　fail。　I　know　that　if　I　took　Savidlin；　he　would　try　his　hardest；　but　if　he　failed；　the　Mud　People　would　know　he　did　his　best。　You　are　a　better　hunter　of　men。　Richard　told　me　once　that　if　he　had　to　pick　one　man　to　fight　beside　him；　it　would　be　you；　even　though　you　hate　him。
　
　'Where　we　go；　men　are　the　danger。　If　I　don't　make　it；　if　you　fail　me；　everyone　will　think　it　is　because　you　didn't　try　your　hardest。　They　will　always　think　you　let　me　die　…　let　another　Mud　Person　die　…　because　you　hate　me　and　Richard。　If　you　let　me　be　killed；　you　will　never　be　weled　back　to　the　Mud　People。　Your　people。'
　
　Prindin　stepped　forward；　his　brother　right　next　to　him。　'I　will　go。　My　brother；　too。　We　will　help　you。'
　
　Chandalen　glared。　'I　will　not！　I　will　not　go！'
　
　Kahlan　looked　to　the　Bird　Man。　His　brown　eyes　met　hers；　and　then　he　turned　an　iron　gaze　on　Chandalen。　'Kahlan　is　a　Mud　Person。　You　are　the　bravest；　most　cunning　fighter　among　us。　It　is　your　responsibility　to　protect　us。　All　of　us。　You　will　do　this。　You　will　go　with　her。　You　will　follow　her　orders　and　you　will　get　her　safely　to　where　she　wishes　to　go。　Or；　you　will　leave　now；　and　never　return。　And　Chandalen；　if　she　is　killed；　don't　e　back。　If　you　do；　we　will　kill　you　as　we　would　kill　any　outsider　with　black　painted　on　his　eyes。'
　
　Chandalen　shook　with　rage。　He　threw　his　spear　on　the　ground。　Seething；　he　put　fists　to　his　hips。　'If　I　am　to　leave　our　land　there　will　have　to　be　a　ceremony　to　call　the　spirits　to　protect　us　on　our　journey　It　will　take　until　tomorrow。　We　leave　then。'
　
　All　eyes　went　to　Kahlan。　'I　leave　in　one　hour。　You　will　be　with　me。　You　haw　until　then　to　prepare。'
　
　Kahlan　turned　to　the　spirit　house　to　change　out　of　her　wedding　dress；　into　her　traveling　clothes；　and　to　get　her　things　together。　She　gratefully　accepted　Weselan's　offer　to　help。
　
　
　CHAPTER　18
　
　Fat；　wet　flakes　of　snow　drifted　down；　sometimes　falling　harder；　gathering　in　gusts　and　swirling　into　white　curtains。　Richard　rode　in　a　numb　haze；　behind　Sister　Verna；　the　third　horse　tethered　to　his　and　trotting　along　behind。　When　the　snow　swept　down　in　dense　flurries；　the　Sister　was　no　more　than　a　gray　shape　ahead　of　him。
　
　It　never　occurred　to　him　to　wonder　where　they　were　going；　or　to　close　his　cloak　against　the　cold；　biting　wind。　It　didn't　matter；　nothing　mattered。
　
　His　thoughts　seemed　to　float　and　dance　with　the　snow；　unable　to　settle。　He　had　never　loved　anything　in　his　life　the　way　he　loved　Kahlan。　She　had　bee　his　life。
　
　And　she　had　sent　him　away。
　
　He　hurt　too　much　to　think　of　anything　else。　He　was　stunned　that　she　would　doubt　his　love；　that　she　would　send　him　away。　Why　would　she　send　him　away？
　
　His　mind　drifted　in　and　out　of　dense；　desperate　thoughts。　He　couldn't　understand　how　she　could　ask　him　to　put　on　a　collar　to　prove　his　love。　He　had　told　her　what　wearing　a　collar　meant　to　him。　Maybe　he　should　have　told　her　all　of　it。　Maybe　then　she　would　have　understood。
　
　His　chest　ached　where　Darken　Rahl　had　burned　him。　When　he　reached　up　and　touched　the　ban