cb.imajica2-第15章

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a　suicide。　He　picked　up　his　pace；　his　momentum　moving　steadily　larger　stones　as　he　went。　Though　there　was　no　sign　that　the　mystif　was　in　any　hurry；　he　feared　that　once　it　was　in　the　equivocal　region　between　solid　ground　and　nothingness；　it　would　be　irretrievable。
　〃Pie！〃　he　yelled　as　he　went。　〃Can　you　hear　me？　Please；　stop！〃
　The　words　went　on　clouding　and　clothing　him；　but　they　had　no　effect　upon　Pie　until　Gentle　turned　his　requests　into　an　order。
　〃Pie　'oh'　pah。　This　is　your　Maestro。　Stop。〃
　The　mystif　stumbled　as　Gentle　spoke；　as　though　his　demand　had　put　an　obstacle　in　its　way。　A　small；　almost　bestial　sound　of　pain　escaped　it。　But　it　did　as　its　sometime　summoner　had　ordered　and　stopped　in　its　tracks　like　a　dutiful　servant；　waiting　until　the　Maestro　reached　its　side。
　Gentle　was　within　ten　paces；　now；　and　saw　how　far　advanced　the　process　of　unknitting　was。　The　mystif　was　barely　more　than　a　shadow　among　shadows；　its　features　impossible　to　read；　its　body　insubstantial。　If　Gentle　needed　any　further　proof　that　the　Erasure　was　not　a　place　of　healing；　it　was　in　the　sight　of　the　uredo；　which　was　more　solid　than　the　body　it　had　fed　upon；　its　livid　stains　intermittently　brightening　like　embers　caught　by　a　gusting　wind。
　〃Why　did　you　leave　your　bed？〃　Gentle　said；　his　pace　slowed　once　again　as　he　approached　the　mystif。　Its　form　seemed　so　tenuous　he　feared　any　violent　motion　might　disperse　it　entirely。　〃There's　nothing　beyond　the　Erasure　you　need；　Pie。　Your　life's　here；　with　me。〃
　The　mystif　took　a　little　time　to　reply。　When　it　did　its　voice　was　as　ethereal　as　its　substance；　a　slender；　exhausted　plea　emerging　from　a　spirit　at　the　edge　of　total　collapse。
　〃I　don't　have　any　life　left；　Maestro；〃　it　said。
　〃Let　me　be　the　judge　of　that。　I　swore　to　myself　I　wouldn't　let　you　go　again；　Pie。　I　want　to　look　after　you；　make　you　well。　Bringing　you　here　was　a　mistake；　I　see　that　now。　I'm　sorry　if　it's　brought　you　pain；　but　I'll　take　you　away…〃
　〃It　wasn't　a　mistake。　You　found　your　way　here　for　your　own　reasons。〃
　〃You're　my　reason；　Pie。　I　didn't　know　who　I　was　till　you　found　me；　and　I'll　forget　myself　again　if　you　go。〃
　〃No；　you　won't；〃　it　said；　the　dubious　outline　of　its　head　turning　in　Gentle's　direction。　Though　there　was　no　gleam　to　mark　the　place　where　its　eyes　had　been；　Gentle　knew　it　was　looking　at　him。　〃You're　the　Maestro　Sartori。　The　Reconciler　of　the　Imajica。〃　It　faltered　for　a　long　moment。　When　its　voice　came　again；　it　was　frailer　than　ever。　〃And　you　are　also　my　master；　and　my　husband；　and　my　dearest　brother。　。。。　If　you　order　me　to　stay；　then　I　will　stay。　But　if　you　love　me；　Gentle；　then　please　。。。　let。。。　me　。。。　go。〃
　The　request　could　scarcely　have　been　made　more　simply　or　more　eloquently；　and　had　Gentle　known　without　question　there　was　an　Eden　on　the　other　side　of　the　Erasure；　ready　to　receive　Pie's　spirit；　he　would　have　let　the　mystif　go　there　and　then；　agonizing　as　it　would　be。　But　he　believed　differently　and　was　ready　to　say　it；　even　in　such　proximity　to　the　void。
　〃It's　not　heaven；　Pie。　Maybe　God's　there；　maybe　not。
　But　until　we　know…〃
　〃Why　not　just　let　me　go　now　and　see　for　myself？　I'm　not　afraid。　This　is　the　Dominion　where　my　people　were　made。　I　want　to　see　it。〃　In　these　words　there　was　the　first　hint　of　passion　Gentle　had　so　far　heard。　〃I'm　dying；　Maestro。　I　need　to　lie　down　and　sleep。〃
　〃What　if　there's　nothing　there；　Pie？　What　if　it's　only　emptiness？〃
　〃I'd　prefer　the　absence　to　the　pain。〃　The　reply　defeated　Gentle　utterly。　〃Then　you'd　better　go；〃　he　said；　wishing　he　could　find　some　more　tender　way　to　relinquish　his　hold；　but　unable　to　conceal　his　desolation　with　platitudes。　However　much　he　wanted　to　save　Pie　from　suffering；　his　sympathy　could　not　outweigh　the　need　he　felt；　nor　quite　annul　the　sense　of　ownership　which；　however　unsavory；　was　a　part　of　what　he　felt　towards　this　creature。
　〃I　wish　we　could　have　taken　this　last　journey　together；　Maestro；〃　Pie　said。　〃But　you've　got　work　to　do；　I　know。　Great　work。〃
　〃And　how　do　I　do　it　without　you？〃　Gentle　said；　knowing　this　was　a　wretched　gambit…and　half　ashamed　of　it…but　unwilling　to　let　the　mystif　pass　from　life　without　voicing　every　desire　he　knew　to　keep　it　from　going。
　〃You're　not　alone；〃　Pie　said；　〃You've　met　Tick　Raw　and　Scopique。　They　were　both　members　of　the　last　Synod；　and　they're　ready　to　work　the　Reconciliation　with　you。〃　〃They're　Maestros？〃
　〃They　are　now。　They　were　novices　the　last　time；　but　they're　prepared　now。　They'll　work　in　their　Dominions　while　you　work　in　the　Fifth。〃
　〃They　waited　all　this　time？〃
　〃They　knew　you'd　e。　Or；　if　not　you；　somebody　in　your　place。〃
　He'd　treated　them　both　so　badly；　he　thought；　Tick　Raw　especially。
　〃Who'll　represent　the　Second？〃　he　said。　〃And　the　First？〃
　〃There　was　a　Eurhetemec　in　Yzordderrex；　waiting　to　work　for　the　Second；　but　he's　dead。　He　was　old　the　last　time；　and　he　couldn't　wait。　I　asked　Scopique　to　find　a　replacement。〃
　〃And　here？〃
　〃I'd　hoped　that　honor　might　fall　to　me；　but　now　you'll　need　to　find　someone　in　my　place。　Don't　look　so　lost；　Maestro；　please。　You　were　a　great　Reconciler…〃
　〃I　failed。　How　great　is　that？〃
　〃You　won't　fail　again。〃
　〃I　don't　even　know　the　ceremonies。〃
　〃You'll　remember；　after　a　time。〃
　〃How？〃
　〃All　that　we　did　and　said　and　felt　is　still　waiting　in　Gamut　Street。　All　our　preparations；　all　our　debates。　Even　me。〃
　〃Memory　isn't　enough；　Pie。〃
　〃I　know。。。。〃
　〃I　want　you　real。　I　want　you　。。。　forever。〃
　〃Maybe；　when　the　Imajica　is　whole　again　and　the　First　Dominion　opens；　you'll　find　me。〃
　There　was　some　tiny　hope　in　that；　he　thought；　though　whether　it　would　be　enough　to　keep　him　from　despair　when　the　mystif　had　disappeared　he　didn't　know。
　〃May　I　go？〃　Pie　said。
　Gentle　had　never　uttered　a　harder　syllable　than　his　next。　〃Yes；〃　he　said。
　The　mystif　raised　its　hand；　which　was　no　more　than　a　five…fingered　wisp　of　smoke；　and　put　it　against　Gentle's　lips。
　He　felt　no　physical　contact；　but　his　heart　jumped　in　his　chest。
　〃We're　not　lost；〃　Pie　said。　〃Trust　in　that。〃　Then　the　fingers　dropped　away；　and　the　mystif　started　from　Gentle's　side　towards　the　Erasure。　There　were　perhaps　a　dozen　yards　to　cover；　and　as　the　gap　diminished　Gentle's　heart；　already　pounding　after　Pie's　touch；　beat　faster；　its　drum　tolling　in　his　head。　Even　now；　knowing　he　couldn't　rescind　the　freedom　he'd　granted；　it　was　all　he　could　do　not　to　pursue　the　mystif　and　delay　it　just　another　moment：　to　hear　its　voice；　to　stand　beside　it；　to　be　the　shadow　of　its　shadow。
　It　didn't　glance　back；　but　stepped　with　cruel　ease　into　the　no…man's…land　between　solidity　and　nothingness。　Gentle　refused　to　look　away　but　stared　on　with　a　steadfastness　more　defiant　than　heroic。　The　place　was　well　named。　As　the　mystif　walked　it　was　erased；　like　a　sketch　that　had　served　its　Creator's　purpose　and　was　no　longer　needed　on　the　page。　But　unlike　the　sketch；　which　however　fastidiously　erased　always　left　some　trace　to　mark　the　artist's　error；　when　Pie　finally　disappeared　the　vanishing　was　plete；　leaving　the　spot　flawless。　If　Gentle　had　not　had　the　mystif　in　his　memory…that　unreliable　book…it　might　never　have　existed。
　
　
　5
　
　When　he　returned　inside；　it　was　to　meet　the　stares　of　fifty　or　more　people　gathered　at　the　door；　all　of　whom　had　obviously　witnessed　what　had　just　happened；　albeit　at　some　distance。　Nobody　so　much　as　coughed　until　he'd　passed；　then　he　heard　the　whispers　rise　like　the　sound　of　swarming　insects。　Did　they　have　nothing　better　to　do　than　gossip　about　his　grief？　he　thought。　The　sooner　he　was　away　from　here；　the　better。　He'd　say　his　farewells　to　Estabrook　and　Floccus　and　leave　immediately。
　He　returned　to　Pie's　bed；　hoping　the　mystif　might　have　left　some　keepsake　for　him；　but　the　only　sign　of　its　presence　was　the　indentation　in　the　pillow　on　which　its　beautiful　head　had　lain。　He　longed　to　lie　there　himself　for　a　little　time；　but　it　was　too　public　for　such　an　indulgence。　He　would　grieve　when　he　was　away　from　here。
　As　he　prepared　to　leave；　Floccus　appeared；　his　wiry　little　body　twitching　like　a　boxer　anticipating　a　blow。
　〃I'm　sorry　to　interrupt；〃　he　said。
　〃I　was　ing　to　find　you　anyway；〃　Gentle　said。　〃Just　to　say　thank　you；　and　goodbye。〃
　〃Before　you　go；〃　Floccus　said；　blinking　maniacally；　〃I've　a　message　for　you。〃　He'd　sweated　all　the　color　from　his　face　and　stumbled　over　every　other　word。
　〃I'm　sorry　for　my　behavior；〃　Gentle　said；　trying　to　soothe　him。　〃You　did　all　you　could　have　done；　and　all　you　got　for　it　was　my　foul　temper；〃
　〃No　need　to　apologize。〃
　〃Pie　had　to　go；　and　I　have　to　stay。　That's　the　way　of　it。〃
　〃It's　a　pleasure　to　have　you　back；〃　Floccus　gushed。　〃Really；　Maestro；　really。〃
　That　Maestro　gave　Gentle　a　clue　to　this　performance。　〃Floccus？　Are　you　afraid　of　me？〃　he　said。　〃You　are；　aren't　you？〃
　〃Afraid？　Ah；　well…ah；　yes。　In　a　manner　of　speaking。　Yes。　What　happened　out　there；　your　getting　so　close　to　the　Erasure　and　not　being　claimed；　and　the　way　you've　changed〃…the　dark　garb　still　clung　about　him；　he　realized；　its　slow　dispersal　draping　shreds　of　smoke　around　his　limbs…〃it　puts　a　different　plexion　on　things。　I　hadn't　understood；　forgive　me；　it　was　stupid；　I　hadn't　understood；　you　know；　that　I　was　in　the　panyof；　well；　such　a　power。　If　I；　you　know；　caused　any　offense…〃
　〃You　didn't。〃
　〃I　can　be　frivolous。〃
　〃You　were　fine　pany；　Floccus。〃
　〃Thank　you；　Maestro。　Thank　you。　Thank　you。〃
　〃Please　stop　thanking　me。〃
　〃Yes。　I　will。　Thank　you。〃
　〃You　said　you　had　a　message。〃
　〃I　did？　I　did。〃
　〃Who　from？〃
　〃Athanasius。　He'd　like　very　much　to　see　you。〃
　Here　was　the　third　farewell　he　owed；　Gentle　thought。　〃Then　take　me　to　him；　if　you　would；〃　he　said；　and　Floccus；　his　face　flooded　with　relief　that　he'd　survived　this　interview；　turned　and　led　him　from　the　empty　bed。
　In　the　few　minutes　it　took　for　them　to　thread　their　way　through　the　body　of　the　tent；　the　wind；　which　had　dropped　almost　to　nothing　at　twilight；　began　to　rise　with　fresh　ferocity。　By　the　time　Floccus　ushered　him　into　the　chamber　where　Athanasius　waited；　it　was　beating　at　the　walls　wildly；　The　lamps　on　the　floor　flickered　with　each　gust；　and　by　their　panicky　light　Gentle　saw　what　a　melancholy　place　Athanasius　had　chosen　for　their　parting。　The　chamber　was　a　mortuary；　its　floor　littered　with　bodies　wrapped　in　every　kind　of　rag　and　shroud；　some　neatly　parceled；　most　barely　covered：　further　proof…as　if　it　were　needed…of　how　poor　a　place　of　healing　this　was。　But　that　argument　was　academic　now。　This　was　neither　the　time　nor　the　place　to　bruise　the　man's　faith；　not　with　the　night　wind　thrashing　at　the　walls　and　the　dead　everywhere　underfoot。
　〃Do　you　want　me　to　stay？〃　Floccus　asked　Athanasius；　clearly　desperate　to　be　shunned。
　〃No；　no。　Go　by　all　means；〃　the　other　replied。　Floccus　turned　to　Gentle　and　made　a　little　bow。　〃It　was　an　honor；　sir；〃　he　said；　then　beat　a　hasty　retreat。
　When　Gentle　looked　back　towards　Athanasius；　the　man　had　wandered　to　the　far　end　of　the　mortuary　and　was　staring　down　at　one　of　the　shrouded　bodies。　He　had　dressed　for　this　somber　place；　the　loose　bright　garb　he'd　been　wearing　earlier　discarded　in　favor　of　robes　so　deep　a　blue　they　were　practically　black。
　〃So；　Maestro；〃　he　said。　〃I　was　looking　for　a　Judas　in　our　midst　and　I　missed　you。　That　was　c