cb.imajica2-第2章

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　〃Worse；　you　think？〃　Dowd　said；　continuing　to　advance　towards　the　man；　who　was　nervously　passing　his　knife　from　hand　to　hand；　as　though　he　sensed　that　Dowd's　capacity　for　cruelty　outstripped　his　own　a　hundredfold　and　was　preparing　to　defend　himself　if　need　be。
　〃What　worse　would　you　do？〃　Dowd　said。
　〃What　she's　done　to　others；　over　and　over。〃
　〃She　did　these　things　personally；　you　think？〃
　〃I　wouldn't　put　it　past　her；〃　he　said。　〃Who　knows　what　the　fuck　goes　on　up　there？　People　disappear；　and　get　washed　up　again　in　pieces。　。　。　。〃　He　tried　a　little　smile；　plainly　nervous　now。　〃You　know　she　deserved　it。〃
　〃And　you？〃　Dowd　asked。　〃What　do　you　deserve？〃
　〃I'm　not　saying　I'm　a　hero；〃　the　blinder　replied。　〃I'm　just　saying　she　had　it　ing。〃
　〃I　see；〃　said　Dowd。
　From　Jude's　vantage　point；　what　happened　next　was　more　a　matter　of　conjecture　than　observation。　She　saw　Quaisoir's　maimer　take　a　step　away　from　Dowd；　repugnance　on　his　face；　then　saw　him　lunge　forward　as　if　to　stab　Dowd　through　the　heart。　His　attack　put　him　in　range　of　the　mites；　and　before　his　blade　could　find　Dowd's　flesh　they　must　have　leapt　at　the　blinder；　because　he　dropped　back　with　a　shout　of　horror；　his　free　hand　going　up　to　his　face。　Jude　had　seen　what　followed　before。　The　man　scrabbled　at　his　eyes　and　nostrils　and　mouth；　his　legs　giving　out　beneath　him　as　the　mites　undid　his　system　from　the　inside。　He　fell　at　Dowd's　feet　and　rolled　around　in　a　fury　of　frustration；　eventually　putting　his　knife　into　his　mouth　and　digging　bloodily　for　the　things　that　were　unmaking　him。　The　life　went　out　of　him　as　he　was　doing　so；　his　hand　dropping　from　his　face；　leaving　the　blade　in　his　throat　as　though　he'd　choked　upon　it。
　〃It's　over；〃　Dowd　said　to　Quaisoir；　who　had　wrapped　her　arms　around　her　shuddering　body　and　was　lying　on　the　ground　a　few　yards　from　her　tormentor's　corpse。　〃He　won't　hurt　you　again。〃
　〃Thank　you；　Lord。〃
　〃The　things　he　accused　you　of；　child？〃
　〃Yes；〃
　〃Terrible　things。〃
　〃Yes。〃
　〃Are　you　guilty　of　them？〃
　〃I　am；〃　Quaisoir　said。　〃I　want　to　confess　them　before　I　die。　Will　you　hear　me？〃
　〃I　wil！；〃　Dowd　said；　oozing　magnanimity。
　After　being　merely　a　witness　to　these　events　as　they　unraveled；　Jude　now　stepped　towards　Quaisoir　and　her　confessor；　but　Dowd　heard　her　approach　and　turned　to　shake　his　head。
　〃I've　sinned；　my　Lord　Jesu；〃　Quaisoir　was　saying。　〃I've　sinned　so　many　times。　I　beg　you　to　forgive　me。〃
　It　was　the　despair　Jude　heard　in　her　sister's　voice；　rather　than　Dowd's　rebuff；　that　kept　her　from　making　her　presence　known。　Quaisoir　was　in　extremis；　and　given　that　it　was　her　clear　desire　to　mune　with　some　forgiving　spirit；　what　right　did　Jude　have　to　intervene？　Dowd　was　not　the　Christ　Quaisoir　believed　him　to　be；　but　did　that　matter？　What　would　revealing　the　father　confessor's　true　identity　achieve　now；　besides　adding　to　the　sum　of　her　sister's　suffering？
　Dowd　had　knelt　beside　Quaisoir　and　had　taken　her　up　into　his　arms；　demonstrating　a　capacity　for　tenderness；　or　at　least　for　its　replication；　that　Jude　would　never　have　believed　him　capable　of。　For　her　part；　Quaisoir　was　in　bliss；　despite　her　wounds。　She　clutched　at　Dowd's　jacket　and　thanked　him　over　and　over　for　doing　her　this　kindness。　He　hushed　her　softly；　saying　there　was　no　need　for　her　to　make　a　catalogue　of　her　crimes。
　〃You　have　them　in　your　heart；　and　I　see　them　there；〃　he　said。　〃I　forgive　them。　Tell　me　instead　about　your　husband。　Where　is　he？　Why　hasn't　he　also　e　asking　for　forgiveness？〃
　〃He　didn't　believe　you　were　here；〃　Quaisoir　said。　〃I　told　him　I'd　seen　you　down　at　the　harbor；　but　he　has　no　faith。〃
　〃None？〃
　〃Only　in　himself；〃　she　said　bitterly。　Dowd　began　to　rock　backward　and　forward　as　he　plied　her　with　further　questions；　his　focus　so　devoted　to　his　victim　he　didn't　notice　Jude's　approach。　She　envied　Dowd　his　embrace；　wishing　it　were　her　arms　Quaisoir　was　lying　in　instead　of　his。
　〃Who　is　your　husband？〃　Dowd　was　asking。
　〃You　know　who　he　is；〃　Quaisoir　replied。　〃He's　the　Autarch。　He　rules　the　Imajica。〃
　〃But　he　wasn't　always　Autarch；　was　he？〃
　〃No。〃
　〃So　what　was　he　before？〃　Dowd　wanted　to　know。　〃An　ordinary　man？〃
　〃No；〃　she　said。　〃I　don't　think　he　was　ever　an　ordinary　man。　I　don't　remember　exactly。〃
　He　stopped　rocking　her。　〃I　think　you　do；〃　he　said；　his　tone　subtly　shifting。　〃Tell　me；〃　he　said。　〃Tell　me：　What　was　he　before　he　ruled　Yzordderrex？　And　what　were　you？〃
　〃I　was　nothing；〃　she　said　simply。
　〃Then　how　were　you　raised　so　high？〃
　〃He　loved　me。　From　the　very　beginning；　he　loved　me。〃
　〃You　did　no　unholy　service　to　be　elevated？〃　Dowd　said。
　She　hesitated；　and　he　pressed　her　harder。
　〃What　did　you　do？〃　he　demanded。　〃What？　What？〃　There　was　a　distant　echo　of　Oscar　in　that　expletive：　the　servant　speaking　with　his　master's　voice。
　Intimidated　by　this　fury；　Quaisoir　replied。　〃I　visited　the　Bastion　of　the　Banu　many　times；〃　she　confessed。　〃Even　the　Annex。　I　went　there　too。〃
　〃And　what's　there？〃
　〃Madwomen。　Some　who　killed　their　spouses；　or　their　children。〃
　〃Why　did　you　seek　such　pitiful　creatures　out？〃
　〃There　are　。。。　powers　。。。　hidden　among　them。〃
　At　this；　Jude　attended　more　closely　than　ever。
　〃What　kind　of　powers？〃　Dowd　said；　voicing　the　question　she　was　silently　asking。
　〃I　did　nothing　unholy；〃　Quaisoir　protested。　〃I　just　wanted　to　be　cleansed。　The　Pivot　was　in　my　dreams。　Every　night；　its　shadow　on　me；　breaking　my　back。　I　only　wanted　to　be　cleansed　of　it。〃
　〃And　were　you？〃　Dowd　asked　her。　Again　she　didn't　answer　at　first；　until　he　pressed　her；　almost　harshly。　〃Were　you？〃
　〃I　wasn't　cleansed；　I　was　changed；〃　she　said。　〃The　women　polluted　me。　I　have　a　taint　in　my　flesh　and　I　wish　it　were　out　of　me。〃　She　began　to　tear　at　her　clothes；　till　her　fingers　found　her　belly　and　breasts。　〃I　want　it　driven　out！〃　she　said。　〃It　gave　me　new　dreams；　worse　than　before。〃
　〃Calm　yourself；〃　Dowd　said。
　〃But　I　want　it　out！　I　want　it　out！〃　A　kind　of　fit　had　suddenly　taken　her；　and　she　flailed　so　violently　in　his　arms　she　fell　from　them。　〃I　can　feel　it　in　me　now；〃　she　said；　her　nails　raking　her　breasts。
　Jude　looked　at　Dowd；　willing　him　to　intervene；　but　he　simply　stood　up；　staring　at　the　woman's　distress；　plainly　taking　pleasure　in　it。　Quaisoir's　self…assault　was　not　theatrics。　She　was　drawing　blood　from　her　skin；　still　yelling　that　she　wanted　the　taint　out　of　her。　In　her　agony；　a　subtle　change　was　ing　over　her　flesh；　as　though　she　was　sweating　out　the　taint　she'd　spoken　of。　Her　pores　were　oozing　a　sheen　of　iridescence；　and　the　cells　of　her　skin　were　subtly　changing　color。　Jude　knew　the　blue　she　saw　spreading　from　her　sister's　neck；　down　over　her　body　and　up　towards　her　contorted　face。　It　was　the　blue　of　the　stone　eye；　the　blue　of　the　Goddess。
　〃What　is　this？〃　Dowd　demanded　of　his　confessee。
　〃Out　of　me！　Out　of　me！〃
　〃Is　this　the　taint？〃　He　went　down　on　his　haunches　beside　her。　〃Is　it？〃
　〃Drive　it　out　of　me！〃　Quaisoir　sobbed；　and　began　assaulting　her　poor　body　afresh。
　Jude　could　endure　it　no　longer。　Allowing　her　sister　to　die　blissfully　in　the　arms　of　a　surrogate　divinity　was　one　thing。　This　self…mutilation　was　quite　another。　She　broke　her　vow　of　silence。
　〃Stop　her；〃　she　said。
　Dowd　looked　up　from　his　study；　drawing　his　thumb　across　his　throat　to　hush　her。　But　it　was　too　late。　Despite　her　own　motion；　Quaisoir　had　heard　her　sister　speak。　Her　thrashings　slowed；　and　her　blind　head　turned　in　Jude's　direction。
　〃Who's　there？〃　she　demanded。
　There　was　naked　fury　on　Dowd's　face；　but　he　hushed　her　softly。　She　would　not　be　placated；　however。
　〃Who's　with　you；　Lord？〃　she　asked　him。
　With　his　reply　he　made　an　error　that　unknitted　the　whole　fiction。　He　lied　to　her。
　〃There's　nobody；〃　he　said。
　〃I　heard　a　woman's　voice。　Who's　there？〃
　〃I　told　you；〃　Dowd　insisted。　〃Nobody。〃　He　put　his　hand　upon　her　face。　〃Now　calm　yourself。　We're　alone。〃
　〃No；　we're　not。〃
　〃Do　you　doubt　me；　child？〃　Dowd　replied；　his　voice；　after　the　harshness　of　his　last　interrogations；　modulating　with　this　question；　so　that　he　sounded　almost　wounded　by　her　lack　of　faith。　Quaisoir's　reply　was　to　silently　take　his　hand　from　her　face；　seizing　it　tightly　in　her　blue；　blood…speckled　fingers。
　〃That's　better；〃　he　said。
　Quaisoir　ran　her　fingers　over　his　palm。　Then　she　said；　〃No　scars。〃
　〃There'll　always　be　scars；〃　Dowd　said；　lavishing　his　best　pontifical　manner　upon　her。　But　he'd　missed　the　point　of　her　remark。
　〃There　are　no　scars　on　your　hand；〃　she　said。
　He　retrieved　it　from　her　grasp。　〃Believe　in　me；〃　he　said。
　〃No；〃　she　replied。　〃You're　not　the　Man　of　Sorrows。〃　The　joy　had　gone　from　her　voice。　It　was　thick；　almost　threatening。　〃You　can't　save　me；〃　she　said；　suddenly　flailing　wildly　to　drive　the　pretender　from　her。　〃Where's　my　Savior？　I　want　my　Savior！〃
　〃He　isn't　here；〃　Jude　told　her。　〃He　never　was。〃
　Quaisoir　turned　in　Jude's　direction。　〃Who　are　you？〃　she　said。　〃I　know　your　voice　from　somewhere。〃
　〃Keep　your　mouth　shut；〃　Dowd　said；　stabbing　his　finger　in　Jude's　direction。　〃Or　so　help　me　you'll　taste　the　mites…〃
　〃Don't　be　afraid　of　him；〃　Quaisoir　said。
　〃She　knows　better　than　that；〃　Dowd　replied。　〃She's　seen　what　I　can　do。〃
　Eager　for　some　excuse　to　speak；　so　that　Quaisoir　could　hear　more　of　the　voice　she　knew　but　couldn't　yet　name；　Jude　spoke　up　in　support　of　Dowd's　conceit。
　〃What　he　says　is　right；〃　she　told　Quaisoir。　〃He　can　hurt　us　both；　badly。　He's　not　the　Man　of　Sorrows；　sister。〃
　Whether　it　was　the　repetition　of　words　Quaisoir　had　herself　used　several　times…Man　of　Sorrows…or　the　fact　that　Jude　had　called　her　sister；　or　both；　the　woman's　sightless　face　slackened；　the　bafflement　going　out　of　it。　She　lifted　herself　from　the　ground。
　〃What's　your　name？〃　she　murmured。　〃Tell　me　your　name。〃
　〃She's　nothing；〃　Dowd　said；　echoing　Quaisoir's　own　description　of　herself　minutes　earlier。　〃She's　a　dead　woman。〃　He　made　a　move　in　Jude's　direction。　〃You　understand　so　little；〃　he　said。　〃And　I've　forgiven　you　a　lot　for　that。　But　I　can't　indulge　you　any　longer。　You've　spoiled　a　fine　game。　I　don't　want　you　spoiling　any　more。〃
　He　put　his　left　hand；　its　forefinger　extended；　to　his　lips。
　〃I　don't　have　many　mites　left；〃　he　said；　〃so　one　will　have　to　do。　A　slow　unraveling。　But　even　a　shadow　like　you　can　be　undone。〃
　〃I'm　a　shadow　now；　am　I？〃　Jude　said　to　him。　〃I　thought　we　were　the　same；　you　and　I？　Remember　that　speech？〃
　〃That　was　in　another　life；　lovey；〃　Dowd　said。　〃It's　different　here。　You　could　do　me　harm　here。　So　I'm　afraid　it's　going　to　have　to　be　thank　you　and　good　night。〃
　She　started　to　back　away　from　him；　wondering　as　she　did　so　how　much　distance　she　would　have　to　put　between　them　to　be　out　of　range　of　his　wretched　mites。　He　watched　her　retreat　with　pity　on　his　face。
　〃No　good；　lovey；〃　he　said。　〃I　know　these　streets　like　the　back　of　my　hand。〃
　She　ignored　his　condescension　and　took　another　backward　step；　her　eye　fixed　on　his　mouth　where　the　mites　nested；　but　aware　that　Quaisoir　had　risen　and　was　standing　no　more　than　a　yard　from　her　defender。
　〃Sister？〃　the　woman　said。
　Dowd　glanced　around；　distracted　from　Jude　long　enough　for　her　to　take　to　her　heels。　He　let　out　a　shout　as　she　fled；　and　the　blind　woman　lunged　towards　the　sound；　grabbing　his　arm　and　neck　and　dragging　him　towards　her。　The　noise　she　made　as　she