cb.imajica2-第33章
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e washed and shaved。 Dressed in white； he looked like a cricketer returned from the crease； glowing with vigor and victory。 She stared at him； searching for some sign of the haunted man he'd been the evening before； but he'd put his anxieties entirely out of sight； for which she could only admire him。 More than admire。 Tonight he was the lover she'd imagined as she'd lain in Quaisoir's bed； and she couldn't help but be stirred by the sight of him。 Once before a dream had led her into his arms； and the consequence； of course； had been pain and tears。 It was a form of masochism to invite a repeat of that experience； and a distraction from weightier matters。
And yet； and yet。 Was it perhaps inevitable that they found their way back into one another's arms sooner or later？ And if it was； maybe this game of glances was a greater distraction still； and they would serve their ambitions better to dispense with the dalliance and accept that they were indivisible。 This time； instead of being dogged by a past neither of them had prehended； they knew their histories and could build on solid ground。 That is； if he had the will to do so。
Klein was beckoning her； but she stayed in her bower of fake blossoms； seeing how eager he was to watch the drama he'd engineered unfold。 He； Luis； and Duncan were merely spectators。 The scene they'd e to watch was the Judgment of Paris； with Vanessa； Simone； and herself cast as the Goddesses； and Gentle as the hero obliged to choose between them。 It was grotesque； and she was determined to keep herself from the tableau； instead wandering up to the far end of the garden while the banter continued on the lawn。 Close to the wall she came upon a strange sight。 A clearing had been made in the artificial jungle； and a small rosebush…real； but far less sumptuous than the fakery surrounding it…had been planted there。 As she was puzzling over this； Luis appeared at her side with a glass of champagne。
〃One of his cats；〃 Luis said。 〃Gloriana。 She was killed by a car in March。 He was devastated。 Couldn't sleep。 Wouldn't even talk to anybody。 I thought he was going to kill himself。〃
〃He's a strange one；〃 Jude said； casting a glance back at Klein； who had his arm around Gentle's shoulder and was laughing uproariously。 〃He pretends everything's a game…〃
〃That's because he feels everything too much；〃 Luis replied。
〃I doubt that；〃 she said。
〃I've been in business with him twenty…one； twenty…two years。 We have fights。 We make up。 We have fights again。 He's a good man； believe me。 But so afraid of feeling； he must make it all a joke。 You're not English； huh？〃
〃No； I'm English。〃
〃Then you understand this；〃 he said。 〃You also have the little graves； hidden away。〃 He laughed。
〃Thousands；〃 she said； watching Gentle step back into the house。 〃Would you excuse me a moment？〃 she said； and headed back down the garden with Luis in pursuit。
Kletn made a move to intercept her； but she simply handed him her empty glass and went inside。 Gentle was in the kitchen； rooting through the refrigerator； peeling the lids off bowls and peering into them。
〃So much for invisibility；〃 Jude said。
〃Would you have preferred it if I hadn't e？〃
〃Meaning that if I'd asked you'd have stayed away？〃
He grinned as he found something that suited his palate。 〃Meaning；〃 he said； 〃that the rest of them don't have a prayer。 I came because I knew you'd be here。〃
He plunged his first and middle fingers into the ramekin he'd brought out and laid a dollop of chocolate mousse on his tongue。
〃Want some？〃 he said。
She hadn't； until she saw the abandon with which he was devouring the stuff。 His appetite was contagious。 She scooped a fingerful herself。 It was sweet and creamy。
〃Good？〃 he said。
〃Sinful；〃 she replied。 〃What made you change your mind？〃
〃About what？〃
〃About hiding yourself away。〃
〃Life's too short；〃 he said； taking his laden fingers to his mouth again。 〃Besides； I just said： I knew you'd be here。〃
〃You're a mind reader now？〃
〃I'm flourishing；〃 he said； his grin more chocolate than teeth。 The sophisticate she'd seen step out into the garden minutes before was here a guzzling boy。
〃You've got chocolate all around your mouth；〃 she said。
〃Do you want to kiss it off？〃 he replied。
〃Yes；〃 she said； seeing no purpose misrepresenting her feeling。 Secrets had done them too much harm in the past。
〃Then why are we still here？〃 he said。
〃Klein'Il never forgive us if we leave。 The party's in your honor。〃
〃They can talk about us when we've gone；〃 he said； setting down the ramekin and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand。 〃In fact； they'd probably prefer that。 I say we go now； before we're spotted。 We're wasting time making conversation…〃
〃…when we could be making love。〃
〃I thought I was the mind reader；〃 he said。
As they opened the front door they heard Klein calling them from the back； and Jude felt a pang of guilt； until she remembered the proprietorial look she'd caught on Klein's face when Gentle had first〃appeared and he'd known that he had the cast gathered for a fine farce。 Guilt turned to irritation； and she slammed the front door hard to make sure he heard。
As soon as they got back to the flat Jude threw open the windows to let the breeze； which was still balmy though the night had long since fallen； e and go。 News from the streets outside came with it； of course； but nothing momentous： the inevitable sirens； chatter from the pavement； jazz from the club down the block。 With the windows wide； she sat down on the bed beside Gentle。 It was time for them to speak without any other agenda but the truth。
〃I didn't think we'd end up this way；〃 she said。 〃Here。 Together。〃
〃Are you glad we have？〃
〃Yes； I'm glad；〃 she said； after a pause。 〃It feels right。〃
〃Good；〃 he replied。 〃It feels perfectly natural to me too。〃
He slid around the back of her and； threading his hands through her hair； began to work his fingers against her scalp。 She sighed。
〃You like that？〃 he asked。
〃I like that。〃
〃Do you want to tell me how you feel？〃
〃About what？〃
〃About me。 About us。〃
〃I told you； it feels right。〃
〃That's all？〃
〃No。〃
〃What else？〃
She closed her eyes； the persuasive fingers almost easing the words out of her。 〃I'm glad you're here because I think we can learn from one another。 Maybe even love each other again。 How does that sound？〃
〃Fine by me；〃 he said softly。
〃And what about you？ What's in your head？〃
〃That I'd forgotten how strange this Dominion is。 That I need your help to make me strong。 That I'm afraid I may act strangely sometimes； make mistakes； and I want you to love me enough to forgive me if I do。 Will you？〃
〃You know I will；〃 she said。
〃I want you to share my visions； Judith。 I want you to see what's shining in me and not be afraid of it。〃
〃I'm not afraid。〃
〃That's good to hear；〃 he said。 〃That's so very good。〃 He leaned towards her； putting his mouth close to her ear。 〃We make the rules from now on；〃 he whispered。 〃And the world follows。 Yes？ There's no law but us。 What we want。 What we feel。 We'll let that consume us； and the fire'H spread。 You'll see。〃
He kissed the ear into which he'd poured these seductions； then her cheek； and finally her mouth。 She started to kiss him back； fervently； putting her hands around his head as he had hers； kneading the flesh from which his hair sprang and feeling its motion against his skull。 He had his hands on the neck of her blouse； but he didn't bother to unbutton it。 Instead he tore it open； not in a frenzy but rhythmically； rent after rent； like a ritual of uncovering。 As soon as her breasts were bare his mouth was on them。 Her skin was hot； but his tongue was hotter； painting her with spiral tracks of spittle； then closing his mouth around her nipples until they were harder than the tongue that teased them。 His hands were reducing her skirt to tatters in the same efficient way he'd torn open her blouse。 She let herself drop back onto the bed； with the rags of blouse and skirt beneath her。 He looked down at her； laying his palm at her crotch； which was still protected from his touch by the thin fabric of her underwear。
〃How many men have had this？〃 he asked her； the question murmured without inflection。 His head was silhouetted against the pale billows at the window； and she could not read his expression。 〃How many？〃 he said； moving the ball of his hand in a circular motion。 From any other source but this the question would have offended or even enraged her。 But she liked his curiosity。
〃A few。〃
He ran his fingers down into the space between her legs and worked his middle fingers under the fabric to touch her other hole。 〃And this？〃 he said； pushing at the place。
She was less fortable with this inquiry； verbal or digital； but he insisted。 〃Tell me；〃 he said。 〃Who's been in here？〃
〃Just one；〃 she said。
〃Godolphin？〃 he replied。
〃Yes。〃
He removed his finger and rose from the bed。 〃A family enthusiasm；〃 he remarked。
〃Where are you going？〃
〃Just closing the curtains；〃 he said。 〃The dark's better for what we're going to do。〃 He drew the drapes without closing the window。 〃Are you wearing any jewelry？〃 he asked her。
〃Just my earrings。〃
〃Take them off；〃 he said。
〃Can't we have a little light？〃
〃It's too bright as it is；〃 he replied； though she could barely see him。 He was watching her as he undressed； that much she knew。 He saw her slide her earrings from the holes in her lobes and then take off her underwear。 By the time she was pletely naked so was he。
〃I don't want a little part of you；〃 he said； approaching the bottom of the bed。 〃I want all of you； every last piece； and I want you to want all of me。〃
〃I do；〃 she said。
〃I hope you mean that。〃
〃How can I prove it？〃
His gray form seemed to darken as she spoke； receding into the shadows of the room。 He'd said he'd be invisible； and now he was。 Though she felt his hand graze her ankle； and looked down the bed to find him； he was beyond the grasp of her eye。 But pleasure flowed from his touch nevertheless。
〃I want this；〃 he said as he caressed her foot。 〃And this。〃 Now her shin and thigh。 〃And this〃…her sex…〃as much as the rest； but no more。 And this； and these。〃 Belly； breasts。 His touch was on them all； so he had to be very close to her now； but still invisible； 〃And this sweet throat； and this wonderful head；〃 Now the hands slid away again； down her arms。 〃And these〃 he said； 〃to the ends of your fingers。〃
The touch was back at her foot again； but everywhere his hands had been…which was to say her entire body…trembled with anticipation at the touch ing again。 She raised her head from the pillow a second time in the hope of glimpsing her lover。
〃Lie back；〃 he told her。
〃I want to see you。〃
〃I'm here；〃 he said； his eyes stealing a gleam from somewhere as he spoke： two bright dots in a space that； had she not known it was bounded； could have been limitless。 After his words； there was only his breath。 She couldn't help but let the rhythm of her own inhalations and exhalations fall hi with his； a lulling regularity which steadily slowed。
After a time； he raised her foot to his mouth and licked the sole from heel to toe in one motion。 Then his breath again； cooli
