cb.imajica2-第47章

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els。　Bloody　tragic。〃
　The　fighters　had　finally　been　refereed　and　were　being　escorted　to　opposite　pavements。
　〃I　don't　know　what　the　world's　ing　to；〃　the　cabbie　said。　〃It's　bloody　madness。〃
　His　piece　said；　he　turned　on　the　radio　as　the　traffic　began　moving　again；　and　began　whistling　3n　out…of…tune　acpaniment　to　the　ballad　that　emerged。
　〃Is　this　something　we　can　help　stop？〃　Clem　asked　Gentle。　〃Or　is　it　just　going　to　get　worse？〃
　〃I　hope　the　Reconciliation　will　put　an　end　to　it。　But　I　can't　be　certain。　This　Dominion's　been　sealed　up　for　so　long；　it's　poisoned　itself　with　its　own　shit。〃
　〃So　we　just　have　to　pull　down　the　sod　din'　walls；〃　Monday　said；　with　the　glee　of　a　born　demolisher。　He　rattled　his　tin　of　colors　again。　〃You　mark　'em；〃　he　said；　〃and　I'll　knock　'em　down。　Easy。〃
　
　The　child；　Jude　had　been　told；　had　more　purpose　in　it　than　most；　and　she　believed　it。　But　what　did　that　mean；　besides　the　risk　of　its　fury　if　she　tried　to　unhouse　it？　Would　it　grow　faster　than　others？　Would　she　be　big　with　it　by　dusk；　and　her　water　ready　to　break　before　morning？　She　lay　in　the　bedroom　now；　the　day's　heat　already　weighing　on　her　limbs；　and　hoped　the　stories　she'd　heard　from　radiant　mothers　were　true；　that　her　body　would　pour　palliatives　into　her　bloodstream　to　ease　the　traumas　of　nurturing　and　expelling　another　life。
　When　the　doorbell　rang　her　first　instinct　was　to　ignore　it；　but　her　visitors；　whoever　they　were；　kept　on　ringing　and　eventually　began　to　shout　up　at　the　window。　One　called　for　Judy；　the　other；　more　oddly；　for　Jude。　She　sat　up；　and　for　a　moment　it　was　as　though　her　anatomy　had　shifted。　Her　heart　thumped　in　her　head；　and　her　thoughts　had　to　be　dragged　up　out　of　her　belly　to　form　the　intention　to　leave　the　room　and　go　down　to　the　door。　The　voices　were　still　summoning　her　from　below；　but　they　petered　out　as　she^　headed　down　the　stairs；　and　she　was　ready　to　find　the　doorstep　empty　when　she　got　there。　Not　so。　There　was　an　adolescent　there；　besmirched　with　color；　who　upon　sight　of　her　turned　and　hollered　to　her　other　visitors；　who　were　across　the　street；　peering　up　at　her　flat。
　〃She's　here！〃　he　yelled。　〃Boss？　She's　here！〃
　They　started　back　across　the　road　towards　the　step；　and　as　they　came　her　heart；　still　beating　in　her　head；　took　up　a　suicidal　tempo。　She　reached　out　for　some　support　as　the　man　at　Clem's　side　met　her　eyes　and　smiled。　This　wasn't　Gentle。　At　least　it　wasn't　the　egg…thief　Gentle　who'd　left　a　couple　of　hours　before；　his　face　flawless。　This　one　hadn't　shaved　for　several　days　and　had　a　brow　of　scabs。
　She　backed　away　from　the　step；　her　hand　failing　to　find　the　door　though　she　wanted　to　slam　it。　〃Keep　away　from　me；〃　she　said。
　He　stopped　a　yard　or　two　from　the　threshold；　seeing　the　panic　on　her　face。　The　youth　had　turned　to　him；　and　the　imposter　signaled　that　he　should　retreat；　which　he　did；　leaving　the　line　of　vision　between　them　clear。
　〃I　know。I　look　like　shit；〃　the　scabby　face　said。　〃But　it's　me；　Jude。〃
　She　took　two　steps　back　from　the　blaze　in　which　he　stood　（How　the　light　liked　him！　Not　like　the　other；　who'd　been　in　shadow　every　time　she'd　set　eyes　on　him）；　her　sinews　fluttering　from　toes　to　fingertips；　their　motion　escalating　as　though　a　fit　was　about　to　seize　her。　She　reached　for　the　banister　and　took　hold　of　it　to　keep　herself　from　falling　over。
　〃It　can't　be；〃　she　said。
　This　time　the　man　made　no　reply。　It　was　his　acplice　in　this　deceit…Clem；　of　all　people…who　said；　〃Judy。　We　have　to　talk　to　you。　Can　I　e　in？〃
　〃Just　you；〃　she　said。　〃Not　them。　Just　you。〃
　〃Just　me。〃
　He　came　to　the　door；　approaching　her　slowly；　palms　out；　〃What's　happened　here？〃　he　said。
　〃That's　not　Gentle；〃　she　told　him。　〃Gentle's　been　with　me　for　the　last　two　days。　And　nights。　That's。。。　I　don't　know　who。〃
　The　imposter　heard　what　she　was　telling　Clem。　She　could　see　his　face　over　the　other　man's　shoulder；　so　shocked　the　words　might　have　been　blows。　The　more　she　tried　to　explain　to　Clem　what　had　happened；　the　more　she　lost　faith　with　what　she　was　saying。　This　Gentle；　waiting　outside；　was　the　man　she'd　left　on　the　studio　step；　standing　bewildered　in　the　sun　as　he　was　now。　And　if　this　was　he；　then　the　lover　who'd　e　to　her；　the　egg　licker　and　fertilizer；　was　some　other　some　terrible　other。
　She　saw　Gentle　make　the　man's　name　with　his　lips：　〃Sartori；〃
　Hearing　the　name　and　knowing　it　was　true…knowing　that　the　butcher　of　Yzordderrex　had　found　a　place　in　her　bed；　heart；　and　womb…the　convulsions　threatened　to　overtake　her　pletely。　But　she　clung　to　the　solid；　sweaty　world　as　best　she　could；　determined　that　these　men；　his　enemies；　should　know　what　he'd　done。
　〃e　in；〃　she　said　to　Gentle。　〃e　in　and　close　the　door。〃
　He　brought　the　boy　with　him；　but　she　didn't　have　the　will　to　waste　on　objecting。　He　also　brought　a　question：　〃Did　he　harm　you？〃
　〃No；〃　she　said。　She　almost　wished　he　had；　wished　he'd　given　her　a　glimpse　of　his　atrocious　self。　〃You　told　me　he　was　changed；　Gentle；〃　she　said。　〃You　said　he　was　a　monster；　he　was　corrupted；　you　said。　But　he　was　exactly　like　you。〃
　She　let　her　rage　simmer　in　her　as　she　spoke；　working　its　alchemy　on　the　abhorrence　she　felt　and　turning　it　into　purer；　wiser　stuff。　Gentle　had　misled　her　with　his　descriptions　of　his　other；　creating　in　her　mind's　eye　a　man　so　tainted　by　his　deeds　he　was　barely　human。　There'd　been　no　malice　in　his　deception；　only　the　desire　to　be　utterly　divided　from　the　man　who　shared　his　face。　But　now　he　knew　his　error　and　was　plainly　ashamed。　He　hung　back；　watching　her　while　the　tremors　in　her　body　slowed。　There　was　steel　in　her　sinew　and　it　held　her　up；　lent　her　the　strength　to　finish　the　account。　There　was　no　sense　in　keeping　the　last　part　of　Sartori's　deceit　from　either　Gentle　or　Clem。　It　would　be　apparent　soon　enough。　She　laid　her　hand　on　her　belly。
　〃I'm　pregnant；〃　she　said。　〃His　child。　Sartori's　child。〃
　In　a　more　rational　world　she　might　have　been　able　to　interpret　the　expression　on　Gentle's　face　as　he　received　the　news；　but　its　plexity　defied　her。　There　was　anger　in　the　maze；　certainly；　and　bafflement　too。　But　was　there　also　a　little　jealousy？　He　hadn't　wanted　her　pany　when　they'd　returned　from　the　Dominions；　his　mission　as　Reconciler　had　scourged　his　libido。　But　now　that　she'd　been　touched　by　his　other；pleasured　by　him　（did　he　see　that　guilt　somewhere　on　her　face；　as　ineptly　buried　as　his　jealousy？）　he　was　feeling　pangs　of　possessiveness。　As　ever　with　their　story；　there　was　no　sentiment　untainted　by　paradox。
　It　was　Clem；　dear　forting　Clem；　who　opened　his　arms　now　and　said；　〃Any　chance　of　a　hug？〃
　〃Oh；　God；　yes；〃　she　said。　〃Every　chance。〃
　He　crossed　to　her　and　wrapped　his　embrace　around　her。　They　rocked　together。
　〃I　should　have　known；　Clem；〃　she　said；　too　quietly　for　Gentle　or　the　boy　to　hear。
　〃Hindsight's　easy；〃　he　said；　kissing　her　hair。　〃I'm　just　glad　you're　alive。〃
　〃He　never　threatened　me。　He　never　laid　a　finger　on　me　that　I　didn't。。。〃
　〃Ask　for？〃
　〃I　didn't　need　to　ask；〃　she　said。　〃He　knew。〃
　The　sound　of　the　front　door　reopening　made　her　raise　her　head　from　Clem's　shoulder。　Gentle　was　stepping　out　into　the　sun　again；　with　the　youth　following。　Once　outside；　he　looked　up；　cupping　his　hand　over　his　brow　to　study　the　sky　at　his　zenith。　Seeing　him　do　so；　Jude　realized　who　the　sky　watcher　she'd　glimpsed　in　the　Boston　Bowl　had　been。　It　was　a　small　solving；　but　she　wasn't　about　to　spurn　the　satisfaction　it　provided。
　〃Sartori　is　Gentle's　brother；　is　that　right？〃　Clem　said。　〃I'm　afraid　I'm　still　hazy　on　the　family　relations。〃
　〃They're　not　brothers；　they're　twins；〃　she　replied。　〃Sartori　is　his　perfect　double。〃
　〃How　perfect？〃　Clem　asked；　looking　at　her　with　a　small；　almost　mischievous　smile　on　his　face。　〃Oh　。。。　very　perfect。〃　〃So　it　wasn't　so　bad；　his　being　here？〃　She　shook　her　head。　〃It　wasn't　bad　at　all；〃　she　replied。　Then；　after　a　moment：　〃He　told　me　he　loved　me；　Clem。〃　〃Oh；　Lord。〃　〃And　I　believed　him。〃
　〃How　many　dozens　of　men　have　told　you　that？〃　〃Yes；　but　he　was　different。。。。〃　〃Famous　last　words。〃
　She　looked　at　the　sun　watcher　for　a　few　seconds；　puzzled　by　the　calm　that　had　e　over　her。　Was　the　mere　memory　of　his　mitment　to　her　enough　to　assuage　every　dread？　〃What　are　you　thinking？〃　Clem　asked　her。　〃That　he　feels　something　Gentle　never　did；〃　she　replied。　〃Maybe　never　could。　Before　you　say　it；　I　know　the　whole　thing's　repulsive。　He's　a　destroyer。　He's　wiped　out　whole　countries。　How　can　I　be　feeling　anything　for　him？〃　〃You　want　the　cliches？〃　〃Tell　me。〃
　〃You　feel　what　you　feel　Some　people　go　for　sailors；　some　people　go　for　men　in　rubber　suits　and　feather　boas。　We　do　what　we　do。　Never　explain；　never　apologize。　There。　That's　all　you're　getting。〃
　Her　hands　went　to　his　face。　She　cupped　it；　then　kissed　it。　〃You　are　sublime；〃　she　said。　〃We're　going　to　survive；　aren't　we？〃
　〃Survive　and　prosper；〃　he　said。　〃But　I　think　we'd　better　find　your　beau；　for　everybody's…〃
　He　stopped　as　her　grip　on　him　tightened。　All　trace　of　joy　had　gone　from　her　face。
　〃What's　wrong？〃
　〃Celestine。　I　sent　him　up　to　Highgate。　To　Roxborough's　tower。〃
　〃I'm　sorry；　I'm　not　following　this。〃
　〃It's　bad　news；〃　she　said；　leaving　his　embrace　and　hurrying　to　the　front　door。
　Gentle　relinquished　his　zenith　watching　at　her　summons　and　returned　to　the　step　as　she　repeated　what　she'd　just　told　Clem。
　〃What's　up　in　Highgate？〃　he　said。
　〃A　woman　who　wanted　to　see　you。　Does　the　name　Nisi　Nirvana　mean　anything　to　you？〃
　Gentle　puzzled　over　this　for　a　moment。　〃It's　something　from　a　story；〃　he　said。
　〃No；　Gentle。　She's　real。　She's　alive。　At　least　she　was。〃
　
　It　hadn't　been　sentiment　alone　that　had　moved　the　Autarch　Sartori　to　have　the　streets　of　London　depicted　in　such　loving　detail　on　the　walls　of　his　palace。　Though　he'd　spent　only　a　little　time　in　this　city…no　more　than　weeks；　between　his　birth　and　his　departure　for　the　Reconciled　Dominions…　Mother　London　and　Father　Thames　had　educated　him　right　royally。　Of　course　the　metropolis　visible　from　the　summit　of　Highgate　Hill；　where　he　stood　now；　was　vaster　and　grimmer　than　the　city　he'd　wandered　then；　but　there　were　enough　signs　remaining　to　stir　some　poignant　and　pungent　memories。　He'd　learned　sex　in　these　streets；　from　the　professionals　around　Drury　Lane。　He'd　learned　murder　at　the　riverside；　watching　the　bodies　washed　up　in　the　mud　on　a　Sunday　morning　after　the　slaughters　of　Saturday　night。　He'd　learned　law　at　Lincoln's　Inn　Field　and　seen　justice　done　at　Tyburn。　All　fine　lessons；　that　had　helped　to　make　him　the　man　he　was。　The　only　lesson　he　couldn't　remember　learning；　whether　in　these　streets　or　any　other；　was　how　to　be　an　architect。　He　must　have　had　a　tutor　in　that；　he　presumed；　at　some　time。　After　all；　wasn't　he　the　man　whose　vision　had　built　a　palace　that　would　stand　in　legend；　even　though　its　towers　were　now　rubble？　Where；　in　the　furnace　of　his　genes　or　in　his　history；　was　the　kindling　spark　of　that　genius？　Perhaps　he'd　only　discover　the　answer　in　the　raising　of　his　New　Yzordderrex。　If　he　was　patient　and　watchful；　the　face　of　his　mentor　would　sooner　or　later　appear　in　its　walls。　There　would　have　to　be　a　great　demolishing；　however；　before　the　foundations　were　laid；　and　banalities　like　the　Tabula　Rasa's　tower；　which　he　now　came　in　sight　of；　would　be　the　first　to　be　condemned。　He　crossed