cb.imajica2-第65章

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mmagi。
　Though　she　studied　the　Goddess's　glyph；　Jude　could　see　no　hint　of　anything　that　breathed；　sweated；　or　corrupted　in　it。　But　there　was　such　an　emanation　of　tenderness　from　the　form　that；　faceless　as　the　Goddess　was；　it　seemed　to　Jude　she　could　feel　Her　smile；　Her　kiss；　Her　loving　gaze。　And　love　it　was。　Though　this　power　knew　her　not　at　all；　Jude　felt　embraced　and　forted　as　only　love　could　embrace　and　fort。　There'd　never　been　a　time　in　her　life；　until　now；　when　some　part　of　her　had　not　been　afraid。　It　was　the　condition　of　being　alive　that　even　bliss　was　attended　by　the　imminence　of　its　decease。　But　here　such　terrors　seemed　absurd。　This　face　loved　her　unconditionally　and　would　do　so　forever。
　〃Sweet　Judith；〃　she　heard　the　Goddess　say；　the　voice　so　charged；　so　resonant；　that　these　few　syllables　were　an　aria。　〃Sweet　Judith；　what's　so　urgent　that　you　risk　your　life　to　e　here？〃
　As　Uma　Umagammagi　spoke；　Jude　saw　her　own　face　appearing　in　the　ripples；　brightening；　then　teased　out　into　a　thread　of　light　that　was　run　into　the　Goddess's　glyph。　She's　reading　me；　Jude　thought。　She's　trying　to　understand　why　I'm　here；　and　when　She　does　She'll　take　the　responsibility　away。　I'll　be　able　to　stay　in　this　glorious　place　with　Her；　always。
　〃So；〃　said　the　Goddess　after　a　time。　〃This　is　a　grim　business。　It　falls　to　you　to　choose　between　stopping　this　Reconciliation　or　letting　it　go　on　and　risking　some　harm　from　Hapexamendios…〃
　〃Yes；〃　Jude　replied；　grateful　that　she'd　been　relieved　of　the　need　to　explain　herself。　〃I　don't　know　what　the　Unbeheld　is　planning。　Maybe　nothing　。。。〃
　〃。。。　and　maybe　the　end　of　the　Imajica。〃
　〃Could　He　do　that？〃
　〃Very　possibly；〃　said　Uma　Umagammagi。　〃He's　done　harm　to　Our　temples　and　Our　sisters　many；　many　times；　both　in　His　own　person　and　through　His　agents。　He's　a　soul　in　error；　and　lethal。〃
　〃But　would　He　destroy　a　whole　Dominion？〃
　〃I　can　no　more　predict　Him　than　you　can；〃　Umagammagi　said。　〃But　I'll　mourn　if　the　chance　to　plete　the　circle　is　missed。〃
　〃The　circle？〃　said　Jude。　〃What　circle？〃
　〃The　circle　of　the　Imajica；〃　the　Goddess　replied。　〃Please　understand；　sister；　the　Dominions　were　never　meant　to　be　divided　this　way。　That　was　the　work　of　the　first　human　spirits；　when　they　came　into　their　terrestrial　life。　Nor　was　there　any　harm　in　it；　at　the　beginning。　It　was　their　way　of　learning　to　live　in　a　condition　that　intimidated　them。　When　they　looked　up；　they　saw　stars。　When　they　looked　down；　they　saw　Earth。　They　couldn't　make　their　mark　on　what　was　above；　but　what　was　below　could　be　divided　and　owned　and　fought　over。　From　that　division；　all　others　sprang。　They　lost　themselves　to　territories　and　nations；　all　shaped　by　the　other　sex；　of　course；　all　named　by　them。　They　e；ven　buried　themselves　in　the　Earth　to　have　it　more　utterly；　preferring　worms　to　the　pany　of　light。　They　were　blinded　to　the　Imajica；　and　the　circle　was　broken；　and　Hapexamendios；　who　was　made　by　the　will　of　these　men；　grew　strong　enough　to　forsake　His　makers　and　so　passed　from　the　Fifth　Dominion　into　the　First…〃
　〃…murdering　Goddesses　as　He　went。〃
　〃He　did　harm；　yes；　but　He　could　have　done　greater　harm　still　if　He'd　known　the　shape　of　the　Imajica。　He　could　have　discovered　what　mystery　it　circled　and　gone　there　instead。〃
　〃What　mystery's　that？〃
　〃You're　going　back　into　a　dangerous　place；　sweet　Judith；　and　the　less　you　know　the　safer　you'll　be。　When　the　time　es；　we　will　unravel　these　mysteries　together；　as　sisters。　Until　then　take　fort　that　the　error　of　tire　Son　is　also　the　error　of　the　Father；　and　in　time　all　errors　must　undo　themselves　and　pass　away。〃
　〃So　if　they'll　solve　themselves；〃　Jude　said；　〃why　do　I　have　to　go　back　to　the　Fifth？〃
　Before　Uma　Umagammagi　could　resume　speaking；　another　voice　intruded。　Particles　rose　between　Jude　and　the　Goddess　as　this　other　woman　spoke；　pricking　Jude's　flesh　where　they　touched；　reminding　her　of　a　state　that　knew　ice　and　fire。
　〃Why　do　you　trust　this　woman？〃　the　stranger　said。
　〃Because　she　came　to　us　openhearted；　Jokalaylau；〃　the　Goddess　replied。
　〃How　openhearted　is　a　woman　who　treads　dry…eyed　in　the　place　where　her　sister　died？〃　Jokalaylau　said。　〃How　openhearted　is　a　woman　who　es　into　Our　presence　without　shame；　when　she　has　the　Autarch　Sartori's　child　in　her　womb？〃
　〃We　have　no　place　for　shame　here；〃　Umagammagi　said。
　〃You　may　have　no　place；〃　Jokalaylau　said；　rising　into　view　now。　〃I　have　plenty。〃
　Like　her　sister；　Jokalaylau　was　here　in　Her　essential　form：　a　more　plex　shape　than　that　of　Uma　Umagammagi；　and　less　pleasing　to　the　eye；　because　the　motions　that　ran　in　it　were　more　hectic；　Her　form　not　so　much　rippling　as　boiling；　shedding　its　pricking　darts　as　it　did　so。
　〃Shame　is　wholly　appropriate　for　a　woman　who　has　lain　with　one　of　Our　enemies；〃　she　said。
　Despite　the　intimidation　Jude　felt　from　the　Goddess；　she　spoke　out　in　her　own　defense。
　〃It's　not　as　simple　as　that；〃　she　said；　her　courage　fueled　by　the　frustration　she　felt；　having　this　intruder　spoil　the　congress　between　herself　and　Uma　Umagammagi。　〃I　didn't　know　he　was　the　Autarch。〃
　〃Who　did　you　imagine　he　was？　Or　didn't　you　care？〃
　The　exchange　might　have　escalated；　but　that　Uma　Umagammagi　spoke　again；　her　tone　as　serene　as　ever。
　〃Sweet　Judith；〃　she　said；　〃let　me　speak　with　my　sister。　She's　suffered　at　the　hands　of　the　Unbeheld　more　than　either　Tishalulle〃　or　myself；　and　She'll　not　readily　forgive　any　flesh　touched　by　Him　or　His　children。　Please　understand　Her　pain；　as　I　hope　to　make　Her　understand　yours。〃
　She　spoke　with　such　delicacy　that　Jude　now　felt　the　shame　Jokalaylau　had　accused　her　of　lacking：　not　for　the　child；　but　for　her　rage。
　〃I'm　sorry；〃　she　said。　〃That　was　。。。　inappropriate。〃
　〃If　you'll　wait　on　the　shore；〃　said　Uma　Umagammagi；　〃we'll　speak　together　again　in　a　little　while。〃
　From　the　moment　that　the　Goddess　had　talked　of　Jude's　returning　to　the　Fifth；　she'd　known　this　parting　would　e。　But　she　hadn't　prepared　herself　to　leave　the　Goddess's　embrace　so　soon；　and　now　that　she　felt　gravity　claiming　her　again；　it　was　an　agony。　There　was　no　help　for　it；　however。　If　Uma　Umagammagi　knew　what　she　suffered…　and　how　could　She　not？　…　She　did　nothing　to　ameliorate　the　hurt；　but　folded　Her　glyph　back　into　the　matrix；　leaving　Jude　to　fall　like　a　petal　from　a　blossom　tree；　lightly　enough；　but　with　a　sense　of　separation　worse　than　any　bruising。　The　forms　of　the　women　she'd　passed　through　were　still　unfolding　and　folding　below；　as　exquisite　as　ever；　and　the　water　music　at　the　door　was　as　soothing；　but　they　could　not　salve　the　loss。　The　melody　that　had　sounded　so　joyous'when　she'd　entered　was　now　elegaic；　like　a　hymn　for　harvest　home；　thankful　for　the　gifts　bestowed　but　touched　by　fears　for　a　colder　season　to　e。
　It　was　waiting　on　the　other　side　of　the　curtain；　that　season。　Though　the　children　still　laughed　on　the　shore；　and　the　basin　was　still　a　glorious　spectacle　of　light　and　motion；　she　had　gone　from　the　presence　of　a　loving　spirit　and　couldn't　help　but　mourn。　Her　tears　astonished　the　women　at　the　threshold；　and　several　rose　to　console　her；　but　she　shook　her　head　as　they　approached；　and　they　quietly　parted　to　let　her　go　her　way　alone；　down　to　the　water。　There　she　sat；　not　daring　to　glance　back　at　the　temple　where　her　fate　was　being　decided；　but　gazing　out　over　the　basin。
　What　now？　she　wondered。　If　she　was　called　back　into　the　presence　of　the　Goddesses　to　be　told　she　wasn't　fit　to　make　any　decision　concerning　the　Reconciliation；　she'd　be　quite　happy　with　the　judgment。　She'd　leave　the　problem　in　surer　hands　than　hers　and　return　to　the　corridors　around　the　basin；　where　she　might　after　a　time　reinvent　herself　and　e　back　into　this　temple　as　a　novice；　ready　to　learn　the　way　to　fold　light。　If；　on　the　other　hand；　she　was　simply　shunned；　as　Jokalaylau　clearly　wanted；　if　she　was　driven　from　this　miraculous　place　back　into　the　wilderness　outside；　what　would　she　do？　Without　anyone　to　guide　her；　what　knowledge　did　she　possess　to　help　choose　between　the　ways　ahead？　None。　Her　tears　dried　after　a　time；　but　what　came　in　their　place　was　worse：　a　sense　of　desolation　that　could　only　be　Hell　itself；　or　some　neighboring　province；　divided　from　the　main　by　infernal　jailers；　made　to　punish　women　who　had　loved　immoderately　and　who　had　lost　perfection；　for　want　of　a　little　shame。
　
　
　20
　
　In　his　last　letter　to　his　son；　written　the　night　before　he　boarded　a　ship　bound　for　France…his　mission　to　spread　the　gospel　of　the　Tabula　Rasa　across　Europe…Roxborough；　the　scourge　of　Maestros；　had　set　down　the　substance　of　a　nightmare　from　which　he'd　just　woken。
　I　dreamed　that　I　drove　in　my　coach　through　the　damnable　streets　of　Clerkenwell；　he　wrote；　I　need　not　name　my　destination。　You　know　it；　and　you　know　too　what　infamies　were　planned　there。　As　is　the　way　in　dreams；　I　was　bereft　of　self…government；　for　though　I　called　out　many　times　to　the　driver；　begging　him；　for　my　soul's　sake；　not　to　take　me　back　to　that　house；　my　words　had　no　power　to　persuade　him。　As　the　coach　turned　the　corner；　however；　and　the　Maestro　Sartori's　house　came　in　sight；　Bellamare　reared　up　affrighted　and　would　go　no　further。　She　was　ever　my　favorite　bay；　and　I　felt　such　a　flood　of　gratitude　towards　her　for　refusing　to　carry　me　to　that　unholy　step　that　f　climbed　from　the　coach　to　speak　my　thanks　into　her　ear。
　And　lo！　as　my　foot　touched　the　ground　the　cobbles　spoke　up　like　living　things；　their　voices　stony　but　raised　in　a　hideous　lamentation；　and　at　the　sound　of　their　anguish　the　very　bricks　of　the　houses　in　that　street；　and　the　roofs　and　railings　and　chimneys；　all　made　similar　cry；　their　voices　joined　in　sorrowful　testament　to　Heaven。　I　never　heard　a　din　its　like；　but　I　could　not　stop　my　ears　against　it；　for　was　their　pain　not　in　some　part　of　my　making？　And　I　heard　them　say：
　Lord；　we　are　but　unbaptized　things　and　have　no　hopes　to　e　into　your　Kingdom；　but　we　beseech　you　to　bring　some　storm　down　upon　us　and　grind　us　into　dust　with　your　righteous　thunder；　that　we　may　be　scoured　and　destroyed　and　not　suffer　plicity　with　the　deeds　performed　in　our　sight。
　My　son；　I　marveled　at　their　clamor；　and　wept　too；　and　was　ashamed；　hearing　them　make　this　appeal　to　the　Almighty；　knowing　that　I　was　a　thousand　times　more　accountable　than　they。　O！　how　1　wished　my　feet　might　carry　me　away　to　some　less　odious　place！　I　swear　at　that　moment　I　would　have　judged　the　heart　of　a　fiery　furnace　an　agreeable　place；　and　lain　my　head　there　with　hosannahs；　rather　than　be　where　these　deeds　had　been　done。　But　I　could　not　retreat。　On　the　contrary；　my　mutinous　limbs　carried　me　to　the　very　doorstep　of　that　house。　There　was　foamy　blood　upon　the　threshold；　as　though　the　martyrs　had　that　night　marked　the　place　so　that　the　Angel　of　Destruction　might　find　it；　and　cause　the　earth　to　gape　'neath　it；　and　mit　it　to　the　Abyss。　And　from　within　was　a　sound　of　idle　chatter　as　the　men　I　had　known　debated　their　profane　philosophies。
　I　went　down　on　my　knees　in　the　blood；　calling　to　those　within　to　e　out　and　join　me　in　begging　forgiveness　of　the　Almighty；　but　they　scorned　me　with　much　laughter；　and　called　me　coward　and　fool；　and　told　me　to　go　on　my　way。　This　I　presently　did；　with　much　haste；　and　did　escape　the　street　with　the　cobbles　telling　me　I　should　go　about　my　crusade　without　fear　of　God's　re