sk.petsematary-第33章

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buddy；　but　I　guess　I　do。　And　then　it　occurred　to　him　that　they　had　better　be　friends；　considering　what　was　between　them。　And　considering　that；　he　supposed　that　Jud　had　known　they　were　friends　long　before　Louis　had。　Jud　had　stood　by　him　on　that　one；　and　in　spite　of　what　had　happened　since；　in　spite　of　the　mice；　in　spite　of　the　birds；　Louis　felt　that　Jud's　decision　had　probably　been　the　right　one　。　。　。　or；　if　not　the　right　one；　at　least　the　passionate　one。　He　would　do　what　he　could　for　Jud　now；　and　if　it　meant　being　best　man　at　the　death　of　his　wife；　he　would　be　that。
　　〃On　my　way；〃　he　said　and　hung　up。
　　　32
　　It　had　not　been　a　heart　attack。　It　had　been　a　cerebral　accident；　sudden　and　probably　painless。　When　Louis　called　Steve　Master…ton　that　afternoon　and　told　him　what　was　going　on；　Steve　said　that　he　wouldn't　mind　going　out　just　that　way。
　　〃Sometimes　God　dillies　and　dailies；〃　Steve　said；　〃and　sometimes　He　just　points　at　you　and　tells　you　to　hang　up　your　jock。〃
　　Rachel　did　not　want　to　talk　about　it　at　all　and　would　not　allow　Louis　to　talk　to　her　of　it。
　　Ellie　was　not　so　much　upset　as　she　was　surprised　and　interested…it　was　what　Louis　thought　a　thoroughly　healthy　six　year…old　reaction　should　be。　She　wanted　to　know　if　Mrs。　Crandall　had　died　with　her　eyes　shut　or　open。　Louis　said　he　didn't　know。
　　Jud　took　hold　as　well　as　could　have　been　expected；　considering　the　fact　that　the　lady　had　been　sharing　bed　and　board　with　him　for　almost　sixty　years。　Louis　found　the　old　man…and　on　this　day　he　looked　very　much　like　an　old　man　of　eighty…three…sitting　alone　at　the　kitchen　table；　smoking　a　Chesterfield；　drinking　a　bottle　of　beer；　and　staring　blankly　into　the　living　room。
　　He　looked　up　when　Louis　came　in　and　said；　〃Well；　she's　gone；　Louis。〃　He　said　this　in　such　a　clear　and　matter…of…fact　way　that　Louis　thought　it　must　not　have　really　cleared　through　all　the　circuits　yet…hadn't　hit　him　yet　where　he　lived。　Then　Jud's　mouth　began　to　work　and　he　covered　his　eyes　with　one　arm。　Louis　went　to　him　and　put　an　arm　around　him。　Jud　gave　in　and　wept。　It　had　cleared　the　circuits；　all　right。　Jud　understood　perfectly。　His　wife　had　died。
　　〃That's　good；〃　Louis　said。　〃That's　good；　Jud；　she　would　want　you　to　cry　a　little；　I　think。　Probably　be　pissed　off　if　you　didn't。〃　He　had　started　to　cry　a　little　himself。　Jud　hugged　him　tightly；　and　Louis　hugged　him　back。
　　Jud　cried　for　ten　minutes　or　so；　and　then　the　storm　passed。　Louis　listened　to　the　things　Jud　said　then　with　great　care…he　listened　as　a　doctor　as　well　as　a　friend。　He　listened　for　any　circularity　in　Jud's　conversation；　he　listened　to　see　if　Jud's　grasp　of　when　was　clear　（no　need　to　check　him　on　where；　that　would　prove　nothing　because　for　Jud　Crandall　the　where　had　always　been　Ludlow；　Maine）；　he　listened　most　of　all　for　any　use　of　Norma's　name　in　the　present　tense。　He　found　little　or　no　sign　that　Jud　was　losing　his　grip。　Louis　was　aware　that　it　was　not　unmon　for　two　old　married　people　to　go　almost　hand…in…hand；　a　month；　a　week；　even　a　day　apart。　The　shock；　he　supposed；　or　maybe　even　some　deep　inner　urge　to　catch　up　with　the　one　gone　（that　was　a　thought　he　would　not　have　had　before　Church；　he　found　that　many　of　his　thoughts　concerning　the　spiritual　and　the　supernatural　had　undergone　a　quiet　but　nonetheless　deep　sea…change）。　His　conclusion　was　that　Jud　was　grieving　hard　but　that　he　was　still　pos　mentis。　He　sensed　in　Jud　none　of　that　transparent　frailty　that　had　seemed　to　surround　Norma　on　New　Year's　Eve；　when　the　four　of　them　had　sat　in　the　Creed　living　room；　drinking　eggnog。
　　Jud　brought　him　a　beer　from　the　fridge；　his　face　still　red　and　blotchy　from　crying。
　　〃A　bit　early　in　the　day；〃　he　said；　〃but　the　sun's　over　the　yardarm　somewhere　in　the　world　and　under　the　circumstances　。　。
　　〃Say　no　more；〃　Louis　told　him　and　opened　the　beer。　He　looked　at　Jud。　〃Shall　we　drink　to　her？〃
　　〃I　guess　we　better；〃　Jud　said。　〃You　should　have　seen　her　when　she　was　sixteen；　Louis；　ing　back　from　church　with　her　jacket　unbuttoned。。　。　。　your　eyes　would　have　popped。　She　could　have　made　the　devil　swear　off　drinking。　Thank　Christ　she　never　asked　me　to　do　it。〃
　　Louis　nodded　and　raised　his　beer　a　little。　〃To　Norma；〃　he　said。　Jud　clinked　his　bottle　against　Louis's。　He　was　crying　again　but　he　was　also　smiling。　He　nodded。　〃May　she　have　peace；　and　let　there　be　no　frigging　arthritis　wherever　she　is。〃
　　〃Amen；〃　Louis　said；　and　they　drank。
　　It　was　the　only　time　Louis　saw　Jud　progress　beyond　a　mild　tipsiness；　and　even　so　he　did　not　bee　incapacitated。　He　reminisced；　a　constant　stream　of　warm　memories　and　anecdotes；　colorful　and　clear　and　sometimes　arresting；　flowed　from　him。　Yet　between　the　stories　of　the　past；　Jud　dealt　with　the　present　in　a　way　Louis　could　only　admire；　if　it　had　been　Rachel　who　had　simply　dropped　dead　after　her　grapefruit　and　morning　cereal；　he　wondered　if　he　could　have　done　half　so　well。
　　Jud　called　the　Brookings…Smith　Mortuary　in　Bangor　and　made　as　many　of　the　arrangements　as　he　could　by　telephone；　he　made　an　appointment　to　e　in　the　following　day　and　make　the　rest。　Yes；　he　would　have　her　embalmed；　he　wanted　her　in　a　dress；　which　he　would　provide；　yes；　he　would　pick　out　underwear；　no；　he　did　not　want　the　mortuary　to　supply　the　special　shoes　which　laced　up　the　back。　Would　they　have　someone　wash　her　hair？　he　asked。　She　washed　it　last　on　Monday　night；　and　so　it　had　been　dirty　when　she　died。　He　listened；　and　Louis；　whose　uncle　had　been　in　what　those　in　the　business　called　〃the　quiet　trade；〃　knew　the　undertaker　was　telling　Jud　that　a　final　wash　and　set　was　part　of　the　service　rendered。　Jud　nodded　and　thanked　the　man　he　was　talking　to；　then　listened　again。　Yes；　he　said；　he　would　have　her　cosmeticized；　but　it　was　to　be　a　lightly　applied　layer。　〃She's　dead　and　people　know　it；〃　he　said；　lighting　a　Chesterfield。　〃No　need　to　tart　her　up。〃　The　coffin　would　be　closed　during　the　funeral；　he　told　the　director　with　calm　authority；　but　open　during　the　visiting　hours　the　day　before。　She　was　to　be　buried　in　Mount　Hope　Cemetery；　where　they　had　bought　plots　in　1951。　He　had　the　papers　in　hand　and　gave　the　mortician　the　plot　number　so　that　preparations　could　begin　out　there：　H…101。　He　himself　had　H…102；　he　told　Louis　later　on。
　　He　hung　up；　looked　at　Louis；　and　said；　〃Prettiest　cemetery　in　the　world　is　right　there　in　Bangor；　as　far　as　I'm　concerned。　Crack　yourself　another　beer；　if　you　want；　Louis。　All　of　this　is　going　to　take　awhile。〃
　　Louis　was　about　to　refuse…he　was　feeling　a　little　tiddly…when　a　grotesque　image　arose　unbidden　behind　his　eyes：　Jud　pulling　Norma's　corpse　on　a　pagan　litter　through　the　woods。　Toward　the　Micmac　burying　ground　beyond　the　Pet　Sematary。
　　It　had　the　effect　of　a　slap　on　him。　Without　a　word；　he　got　up　and　got　another　beer　out　of　the　fridge。　Jud　nodded　at　him　and　dialed　the　telephone　again。　By　three　that　afternoon；　when　Louis　went　home　for　a　sandwich　and　a　bowl　of　soup；　Jud　had　progressed　a　long　way　toward　organizing　his　wife's　final　rites；　he　moved　from　one　thing　to　the　next　like　a　man　planning　a　dinner　party　of　some　importance。　He　called　the　North　Ludlow　Methodist　Church；　where　the　actual　funeral　would　take　place；　and　the　Cemetery　Administration　Office　at　Mount　Hope；　these　were　both　calls　the　undertaker　at　Brookings…Smith　would　be　making；　but　Jud　called　first　as　a　courtesy。　It　was　a　step　few　bereaved　ever　thought　of　。　。　。　or　if　they　thought　of　it；　one　they　could　rarely　bring　themselves　to　take。　Louis　admired　Jud　all　the　more　for　it。　Later　he　called　Norma's　few　surviving　relatives　and　his　own；　paging　through　an　old　and　tattered　address　book　with　a　leather　cover　to　find　the　numbers。　And　between　calls；　he　drank　beer　and　remembered　the　past。
　　Louis　felt　great　admiration　for　him。　。　。　and　love？
　　Yes；　his　heart　confirmed。　And　love。
　　When　Ellie　came　down　that　night　in　her　pajamas　to　be　kissed；　she　asked　Louis　if　Mrs。　Crandall　would　go　to　heaven。　She　almost　whispered　the　question　to　Louis；　as　if　she　understood　it　would　be　better　if　they　were　not　overheard。　Rachel　was　in　the　kitchen　making　a　chicken　pie；　which　she　intended　to　take　over　to　Jud　the　next　day。
　　Across　the　street；　all　the　lights　were　on　in　the　Crandall　house。　Cars　were　parked　in　Jud's　driveway　and　up　and　down　the　shoulder　of　the　highway　on　that　side　for　a　hundred　feet　in　either　direction。　The　official　viewing　hours　would　be　tomorrow；　at　the　mortuary；　but　tonight　people　had　e　to　fort　Jud　as　well　as　they　could；　and　to　help　him　remember；　and　to　celebrate　Norma's　passing…what　Jud　had　referred　to　once　that　afternoon　as　〃the　foregoing。〃　Between　that　house　and　this；　a　frigid　February　wind　blew。　The　road　was　patched　with　black　ice。　The　coldest　part　of　the　Maine　winter　was　now　upon　them。
　　〃Well；　I　don't　really　know；　honey；〃　Louis　said；　taking　Ellie　on　his　lap。　On　the　TV；　a　running　gunfight　was　in　progress。　A　man　spun　and　dropped；　unremarked　upon　by　either　of　them。　Louis　was　aware…unfortably　so…that　Ellie　probably　knew　a　hell　of　a　lot　more　about　Ronald　McDonald　and　Spiderman　and　the　Burger　King　than　she　did　about　Moses；　Jesus；　and　St。　Paul。　She　was　the　daughter　of　a　woman　who　was　a　nonpracticing　Jew　and　a　man　who　was　a　lapsed　Methodist；　and　he　supposed　her　ideas　about　the　whole　spiritus　mundi　were　of　the　vaguest　sort…not　myths；　not　dreams；　but　dreams　of　dreams。　It's　late　for　that；　he　thought　randomly。　She's　only　five；　but　it's　late　for　that。　Jesus　Christ；　it　gets　late　so　fast。
　　But　Ellie　was　looking　at　him；　and　he　ought　to　say　something。　〃People　believe　all　sorts　of　things　about　what　happens　to　us　when　we　die；〃　he　said。　〃Some　people　think　we　go　to　heaven　or　hell。　Some　people　believe　we're　born　again　as　little　children…〃
　　〃Sure；　carnation。　Like　what　happened　to　Audrey　Rose　in　that　movie　on　TV。〃
　　〃You　never　saw　that！〃　Rachel；　he　thought；　would　have　her　own　cerebral　accident　if　she　thought　Ellie　had　seen　Audrey　Rose。
　　〃Marie　told　me　at　school；〃　Ellie　said。　Marie　was　Ellie's　self…proclaimed　best　friend；　a　malnourished；　dirty　little　girl　who　always　looked　as　if　she　might　be　on　the　edge　of　impetigo；　or　ringworm；　or　perhaps　even　scurvy。　Both　Louis　and　Rachel　encouraged　the　friendship　as　well　as　they　could；　but　Rachel　had　once　confessed　to　Louis　that　after　Marie　left；　she　always　felt　an　urge　to　check　Ellie's　head　for　flits　and　head　lice。　Louis　had　laughed　and　nodded。
　　〃Marie's　mommy　lets　her　watch　all　the　shows。〃　There　was　an　implied　criticism　in　this　that　Louis　chose　to　ignore。
　　〃Well；　it's　reincarnation；　but　I　guess　you've　got　the　idea。　The　Catholics　believe　in　heaven　and　hell；　but　they　also　believe　there's　a　place　called　limbo　and　one　called　purgatory。　And　the　Hindus　and　Buddhists　believe　in　Nirvana…〃
　　There　was　a　shadow　on　the　dining　room　wall。　Rachel。　Listening。
　　Louis　went　on　more　slowly。
　　〃There　are　probably　lots　more　too。　But　what　it　es　down　to；　Ellie；　is　this：　no　one　knows。　People　say　they　know；　but　when　they　say　that；　what　they　mean　is　that　they　believe　because　of　faith。　Do　you　know　what　faith　is？〃
　　〃Well　。　。
　　〃Here　we　are；　sitting　in　my　chair；〃　Louis　said。　〃Do　you　think　my　chair　will　still　be　here　tomorrow？〃
　　〃Yeah；　sure。〃
　　〃Then　you　have　faith　it　will　be　here。　As　it　so　happens；　I　do；　too。　Faith　is　believing　a　thing　will　be；　or　is。　Get　it？〃
　　〃Yes。〃