sk.petsematary-第39章

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　　Jesus　answered　her：　〃Your　brother　shall　rise　again。〃
　　…JOHN'S　GOSPEL　（paraphrase）
　　
　　〃Hey…ho；　let's　go。〃
　　…THE　RAMONES
　　　36
　　It's　probably　wrong　to　believe　there　can　be　any　limit　to　the　horror　which　the　human　mind　can　experience。　On　the　contrary；　it　seems　that　some　exponential　effect　begins　to　obtain　as　deeper　and　deeper　darkness　falls…as　little　as　one　may　like　to　admit　it；　human　experience　tends；　in　a　good　many　ways；　to　support　the　idea　that　when　the　nightmare　grows　black　enough；　horror　spawns　horror；　one　coincidental　evil　begets　other；　often　more　deliberate　evils；　until　finally　blackness　seems　to　cover　everything。　And　the　most　terrifying　question　of　all　may　be　just　how　much　horror　the　human　mind　can　stand　and　still　maintain　a　wakeful；　staring；　unrelenting　sanity。　That　such　events　have　their　own　Rube　Goldberg　absurdity　goes　almost　without　saying。　At　some　point；　it　all　starts　to　bee　rather　funny。　That　may　be　the　point　at　which　sanity　begins　either　to　save　itself　or　to　buckle　and　break　down；　that　point　at　which　one's　sense　of　humor　begins　to　reassert　itself。
　　Louis　Creed　might　have　harbored　such　thoughts　if　he　had　been　thinking　rationally　following　the　funeral　of　his　son；　Gage　William　Creed；　on　the　seventeenth　of　May；　but　any　rational　thought…or　attempt　at　it…ceased　at　the　funeral　parlor；　where　a　fistfight　with　his　father…in…law　（bad　enough）　resulted　in　an　event　even　more　terrible…a　final　bit　of　outrageous　gothic　melodrama　which　shattered　whatever　remained　of　Rachel's　fragile　self…control。　That　day's　penny　dreadful　events　were　only　plete　when　she　was　pulled；　screaming；　from　the　East　Room　of　the　Brookings…Smith　Mortuary；　where　Gage　lay　in　his　closed　coffin；　and　sedated　in　the　foyer　by　Surrendra　Hardu。
　　The　irony　of　it　was　that　she　would　not　have　experienced　that　final　episode　at　all；　that　extravagance　of　horror；　one　might　say；　if　the　fistfight　between　Louis　Creed　and　Mr。　Irwin　Goldman　of　Dearborn　had　taken　place　at　the　morning　visiting　hours　（10　to　11：30　A。M。）　instead　of　at　the　afternoon　visiting　hours　（2　to　3：30　P。M。）。　Rachel　had　not　been　in　attendance　at　the　morning　visiting　hours；　she　simply　had　not　been　able　to　e。　She　sat　at　home　with　Jud　Crandall　and　Steve　Masterton。　Louis　had　no　idea　how　he　ever　could　have　gotten　through　the　previous　forty…eight　hours　or　so　without　Jud　and　Steve。
　　It　was　well　for　Louis…well　for　all　three　of　the　remaining　family　members…that　Steve　had　shown　up　as　promptly　as　he　had；　because　Louis　was　at　least　temporarily　unable　to　make　any　kind　of　decision；　even　one　so　minor　as　giving　his　wife　a　shot　to　mute　her　deep　grief。　Louis　hadn't　even　noticed　that　Rachel　had　apparently　meant　to　go　to　the　morning　viewing　in　her　housecoat；　which　she　had　misbuttoned。　Her　hair　was　unbed；　unwashed；　tangled。　Her　eyes；　blank　brown　orbits；　bulged　from　sockets　so　sunken　that　they　had　almost　bee　the　eyes　of　a　living　skull。　Her　flesh　was　doughy。　It　hung　from　her　face。　She　sat　at　the　breakfast　table　that　morning；　munching　unbuttered　toast　and　talking　in　disjointed　phrases　that　made　no　sense　at　all。　At　one　point　she　had　said　abruptly；　〃About　that　Winnebago　you　want　to　buy；　Lou…〃　Louis　had　last　spoken　about　buying　a　Winnebago　in　1981。
　　Louis　only　nodded　and　went　on　eating　his　own　breakfast。　He　was　having　a　bowl　of　Cocoa　Bears。　Cocoa　Bears　had　been　one　of　Gage's　favorite　cereals；　and　this　morning　Louis　wanted　them。　The　taste　of　them　was　appalling；　but　he　still　wanted　them。　He　was　neatly　turned　out　in　his　best　suit…not　black；　he　didn't　have　a　black　suit；　but　it　was　at　least　a　deep　charcoal　gray。　He　had　shaved；　showered；　and　bed　his　hair。　He　looked　fine；　although　he　was　lost　in　shock。
　　Ellie　was　dressed　in　blue　jeans　and　a　yellow　blouse。　She　had　brought　a　picture　to　the　breakfast　table　with　her。　This　picture；　an　enlargement　of　a　Polaroid　Rachel　had　taken　with　the　SX…70　Louis　and　the　kids　had　given　her　for　her　last　birthday；　showed　Gage；　grinning　from　the　depths　of　his　Sears　ski…parka；　sitting　on　her　Speedaway　sled　as　Ellie　pulled　him。　Rachel　had　caught　Ellie　looking　back　over　her　shoulder　and　smiling　at　Gage。　Gage　was　grinning　back　at　her。
　　Ellie　carried　the　picture；　but　she　didn't　talk　much。
　　Louis　was　unable　to　see　the　condition　of　either　his　wife　or　his　daughter；　he　ate　his　breakfast　and　his　mind　replayed　the　accident　over　and　over　and　over；　except　in　this　mind…movie　the　conclusion　was　different。　In　the　mind…movie　he　was　quicker；　and　all　that　happened　was　that　Gage　got　a　spanking　for　not　stopping　when　they　yelled。
　　It　was　Steve　who　really　saw　how　it　was　going　with　Rachel　and　with　Ellie　as　well。　He　forbade　Rachel　to　go　to　the　morning　viewing　（although　〃viewing〃　was　really　a　misnomer　because　of　the　closed　coffin；　if　it　was　open；　Louis　thought；　they'd　all　run　screaming　from　the　room；　me　included）　and　forbade　Ellie　to　go　at　all。　Rachel　protested。　Ellie　only　sat；　silent　and　grave；　with　the　picture　of　her　and　Gage　in　one　hand。
　　It　was　Steve　who　gave　Rachel　the　shot　she　needed　and　who　gave　Ellie　a　teaspoon　of　a　colorless　liquid　to　drink。　Ellie　usually　whined　and　protested　about　taking　medicine…any　kind　of　medicine…but　she　drank　this　silently　and　without　a　grimace。　By　ten　o'clock　that　morning　she　was　asleep　in　her　bed　（the　picture　of　her　and　Gage　still　held　in　her　hand）　and　Rachel　was　sitting　in　front　of　the　television　set；　watching　〃Wheel　of　Fortune。〃　Her　responses　to　Steve's　questions　were　slow。　She　was　stoned；　but　her　face　had　lost　that　thoughtful　look　of　madness　which　had　so　worried…and　frightened…the　P。A。　when　he　came　in　that　morning　at　a　quarter　past　eight。
　　Jud；　of　course；　had　made　all　the　arrangements。　He　made　them　with　the　same　calm　efficiency　that　he　had　made　them　for　his　wife　three　months　before。　But　it　was　Steve　Masterton　who　took　Louis　aside　just　before　Louis　left　for　the　funeral　home。
　　〃I'll　see　that　she's　there　this　afternoon；　if　she　seems　capable　of　handling　it；〃　he　told　Louis。
　　〃Okay。〃
　　〃The　shot　will　have　worn　off　by　then。　Your　friend　Mr。　Crandall　says　he'll　stay　with　Ellie　during　the　afternoon　viewing　hours…〃
　　〃Right。〃
　　〃…and　play　Monopoly　or　something　with　her…〃
　　〃Uh…huh。〃
　　〃But…〃
　　〃Right。〃
　　Steve　stopped。　They　were　standing　in　the　garage；　Church's　stomping　ground；　the　place　where　he　brought　his　dead　birds　and　dead　rats。　The　ones　that　Louis　owned。　Outside　was　May　sunshine；　and　a　robin　bopped　across　the　head　of　the　driveway；　as　if　it　had　important　business　somewhere。　Maybe　it　did。
　　〃Louis；〃　Steve　said；　〃you've　got　to　get　hold　of　yourself。〃
　　Louis　looked　at　Steve；　politely　questioning。　Not　much　of　what　Steve　had　said　had　gotten　through…he　had　been　thinking　that　if　he　had　been　a　little　quicker　he　could　have　saved　his　son's　life…　but　a　little　of　this　last　registered。
　　〃I　don't　think　you've　noticed；〃　Steve　said；　〃but　Ellie　isn't　vocalizing。　And　Rachel　has　had　such　a　bad　shock　that　her　very　conception　of　time　seems　to　have　been　twisted　out　of　shape。〃
　　〃Right！〃　Louis　said。　More　force　in　reply　seemed　to　be　indicated　here。　He　wasn't　sure　why。
　　Steve　put　a　hand　on　Louis's　shoulder。　〃Lou；〃　he　said；　〃they　need　you　more　now　than　they　ever　have　in　their　life。　More　than　they　ever　will　again；　maybe。　Please；　man　。　。　。　I　can　give　your　wife　a　shot；　but　。　。　。　you　。　。　。　see；　Louis；　you　gotta　。　。　oh；　Christ；　Louis；　what　a　cock…knocking；　motherfucking　mess　this　is！〃
　　Louis　saw　with　something　like　alarm　that　Steve　was　starting　to　cry。　〃Sure；〃　he　said；　and　in　his　mind　he　saw　Gage　running　across　the　lawn　toward　the　road。　They　were　yelling　at　Gage　to　e　back；　but　he　wouldn't…lately　the　game　had　been　to　run　away　from　Mommy…Daddy…and　then　they　were　chasing　him；　Louis　quickly　outdistancing　Rachel；　but　Gage　had　a　big　lead；　Gage　was　laughing；　Gage　was　running　away　from　Daddy…that　was　the　game…and　Louis　was　closing　the　distance　but　too　slowly；　Gage　was　running　down　the　mild　slope　of　the　lawn　now　to　the　verge　of　Route　15；　and　Louis　prayed　to　God　that　Gage　would　fall　down…　when　little　kids　ran　fast；　they　almost　always　fell　down　because　a　person's　control　over　his　legs　didn't　get　really　cool　until　he　was　maybe　seven　or　eight。　Louis　prayed　to　God　that　Gage　would　fall　down；　fall　down；　yes；　fall　down　bloody　his　nose　crack　his　skull　need　stitches　whatever；　because　now　he　could　hear　the　drone　of　a　truck　ing　toward　them；　one　of　those　big　ten…wheelers　that　went　back　and　forth　endlessly　between　Bangor　and　the　Orinco　plant　in　Bucksport；　and　he　had　screamed　Gage's　name　then；　and　he　believed　that　Gage　had　heard　him　and　tried　to　stop。　Gage　seemed　to　realize　that　the　game　was　over；　that　your　parents　didn't　scream　at　you　when　it　was　just　a　game；　and　he　had　tried　to　put　on　the　brakes；　and　by　then　the　sound　of　the　truck　was　very　loud；　the　sound　of　it　filled　the　world。　It　was　thundering。　Louis　had　thrown　himself　forward　in　a　long　flying　tackle；　his　shadow　tracking　the　ground　beneath　him　as　the　shadow　of　the　Vulture　had　tracked　the　white　late…winter　grass　of　Mrs。　Vinton's　field　that　day　in　March；　and　he　believed　that　the　tips　of　his　fingers　had　actually　brushed　the　back　of　the　light　jacket　Gage　had　been　wearing；　and　then　Gage's　forward　motion　had　carried　him　out　into　the　road；　and　the　truck　had　been　thunder；　the　truck　had　been　sunlight　on　high　chrome；　the　truck　had　been　the　deep…throated；　shrieking　bellow　of　an　air　horn；　and　that　had　been　Saturday；　that　had　been　three　days　ago。
　　〃I'm　okay；〃　he　said　to　Steve。　〃I　ought　to　go　now。〃
　　〃If　you　can　get　yourself　together　and　help　them；〃　Steve　said；　swiping　at　his　eyes　with　the　arm　of　his　jacket；　〃you'll　be　helping　yourself　too。　The　three　of　you　have　got　to　get　through　it　together；　Louis。　That's　the　only　way。　That's　all　anybody　knows。〃
　　〃That's　right；〃　Louis　agreed；　and　in　his　mind　it　all　started　to　happen　again；　only　this　time　he　leaped　two　feet　farther　right　at　the　end；　and　snagged　the　back　of　Gage's　jacket；　and　none　of　this　was　happening。
　　At　the　time　the　scene　in　the　East　Room　happened；　Ellie　was　pushing　her　Monopoly　marker　aimlessly…and　silently…around　the　board　with　Jud　Crandall。　She　shook　the　dice　with　one　hand　and　clutched　the　Polaroid　of　her　pulling　Gage　on　her　Speedaway　sled　with　the　other。
　　Steve　Masterton　had　decided　it　would　be　all　right　for　Rachel　to　attend　the　afternoon　viewing…in　light　of　later　developments；　it　was　a　decision　he　came　to　deeply　regret。
　　The　Goldmans　had　flown　into　Bangor　that　morning　and　were　staying　at　the　Holiday　Inn。　Her　father　had　called　four　times　by　noon；　and　Steve　had　to　be　increasingly　firm…almost　threatening；　by　call　four…with　the　old　man。　Irwin　Goldman　wanted　to　e　out　and　not　all　the　dogs　of　hell　could　keep　him　from　his　daughter　in　her　time　of　need；　he　said。　Steve　responded　that　Rachel　needed　this　time　before　going　to　the　funeral　parlor　to　get　over　as　much　of　her　initial　shock　as　she　could。　He　didn't　know　about　all　the　dogs　of　hell；　he　said；　but　he　knew　one　Swedish…American　physician's　assistant　that　had　no　intention　of　allowing　anyone　into　the　Creed　home　until　Rachel　had　appeared　in　public；　of　her　own　volition。　After　the　viewing　in　the　afternoon；　Steve　said；　he　would　be　more　than　happy　to　let　the　relatives'　support　system　take　over。　Until　then；　he　wanted　her　left　alone。
　　The　old　man　swore　at　him　in　Yiddish　and　banged　the　phone　down　at　his　end；　breaking　the　c