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第8章

sk.petsematary-第8章

小说: sk.petsematary 字数: 每页3500字

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 fell into pits。 And sometimes (rarely; thank God) you ran into a full…fledged pocket of alien strangeness; something like the clear…air turbulence that can buffet an airliner for no reason at all。 An attitude or belief which you had never suspected; one so peculiar (at least to you) that it seemed nearly psychotic。 And then you trod lightly; if you valued your marriage and your peace of mind; you tried to remember that anger at such a discovery was the province of fools who really believed it was possible for one mind to know another。
  〃Honey; it's just a pet cemetery;〃 he said。
  〃The way she was crying in there just now;〃 Rachel said; gesturing toward the door to his office with a batter…covered spoon; 〃do you think it's just a pet cemetery to her? It's going to leave a scar; Lou。 No。 She's not going up there anymore。 It's not the path; it's the place。 Here she is already thinking Church is going to die。〃
  For a moment Louis had the crazy impression that he was still talking to Ellie; she had simply donned stilts; one of her mother's dresses; and a very clever; very realistic Rachel mask。 Even the expression was the same…set and a bit sullen on top; but wounded beneath。
  He groped; because suddenly the issue seemed large to him; not a thing to be simply passed over in deference to that mystery 。 。 。 or that aloneness。 He groped because it seemed to him that she was missing something so large it nearly filled the landscape; and you couldn't do that unless you were deliberately closing your eyes to it。
  〃Rachel;〃 he said; 〃Church is going to die。〃
  She stared at him angrily。 〃That is hardly the point;〃 she said; enunciating each word carefully; speaking as one might speak to a backward child。 〃Church is not going to die today; or tomorrow…〃
  〃I tried to tell her that…〃
  〃Or the day after that; or probably for years…〃
  〃Honey; we can't be sure of th…〃
  〃Of course we can!〃 she shouted。 〃We take good care 。of him; he's not going to die; no one is going to die around here; and so why do you want to go and get a little girl all upset about something she can't understand until she's much older?〃
  〃Rachel; listen。〃
  But Rachel had no intention of listening。 She was blazing。 〃It's bad enough to try and cope with a death…a pet or a friend or a relative…when it happens; without turning it into a。 。 。 a goddam tourist attraction。 。 。 a F…F…Forest Lawn for a…animals。 。 。〃 Tears were running down her cheeks。
  〃Rachel;〃 he said and tried to put his hands on her shoulders。 She shrugged them off in a quick; hard gesture。
  〃Never mind;〃 she said。 〃You don't have the slightest idea what I'm talking about。〃
  He sighed。 〃I feel like I fell through a hidden trapdoor and into a giant Mixmaster;〃 he said; hoping for a smile。 He got none; only her eyes; locked on his; black and blazing。 She was furious; he realized; not just angry; but absolutely furious。 〃Rachel;〃 he said suddenly; not fully sure what he was going to say until it was out; 〃how did you sleep last night?〃
  〃Oh boy;〃 she said scornfully; turning away…but not before he had seen a wounded flicker in her eyes。 〃That's really intelligent。 Really intelligent。 You never change; Louis。 When something isn't going right; blame Rachel; right? Rachel's just having one of her weird emotional reactions。〃
  〃That's not fair。〃
  〃No?〃 She took the bowl of cake batter over to the far counter by the stove and set it down with another bang。 She began to grease a cake tin; her lips pressed tightly together。
  He said patiently; 〃There's nothing wrong with a child finding out something about death; Rachel。 In fact; I'd call it a necessary thing。 Ellie's reaction…her crying…that seemed perfectly natural to me。 It…〃
  〃Oh; it sounded natural;〃 Rachel said; whirling on him again。 〃It sounded very natural to hear her weeping her heart out over her cat which is perfectly fine…〃
  〃Stop it;〃 he said。 〃You're not making any sense。〃
  〃I don't want to discuss it anymore。〃
  〃Yes; but we're going to;〃 he said; angry himself now。 〃You had your at…batshow about giving me mine?〃
  〃She's not going up there anymore。 And as far as I'm concerned; the subject is closed。〃
  〃Ellie has known where babies e from since last year;〃 Louis said deliberately。 〃We got her the Myers book and talked to her about it; do you remember that? We both agreed that children ought to know where they e from。〃
  〃That has nothing to do with…〃
  〃It does; though!〃 he said roughly。 〃When I was talking to her in my office; about Church; I got thinking about my mother and how she spun me that old cabbage…leaf story when I asked her where women got babies。 I've never forgotten that lie。 I don't think children ever forget the lies their parents tell them。〃
  〃Where babies e from has nothing to do with a goddam pet cemetery!〃 Rachel cried at him; and what her eyes said to him was Talk about the parallels all night and all day; if you want to; Louis; talk until you turn blue; but I won't accept it。
  Still; he tried。
  〃She knows about babies; that place up in the woods just made her want to know something about the other end of things。 It's perfectly natural。 In fact; I think it's the most natural thing in the w…〃
  〃Will you stop saying that!〃 she screamed suddenly…really screamed and Louis recoiled; startled。 His elbow struck the open bag of flour on the counter。 It tumbled off the edge and struck the floor; splitting open。 Hour puffed up in a dry white cloud。
  〃Oh luck;〃 he said dismally。
  In an upstairs room; Gage began to cry。
  〃That's nice;〃 she said; also crying now。 〃You woke the baby up too。 Thanks for a nice; quiet; stressless Sunday morning。〃
  She started by him and Louis put a hand on her arm。 〃Let me ask you something;〃 he said; '〃because I know that anything…literally anything…can happen to physical beings。 As a doctor I know that。 Do you want to be the one to explain to her what happened if her cat gets distemper or leukemia… cats are very prone to leukemia; you know…or if he gets run over in that road? Do you want to be the one; Rachel?〃
  〃Let me go;〃 she nearly hissed。 The anger in her voice; however; was overmatched by the hurt and bewildered terror in her eyes…! don't want to talk about this; Louis; and you can't make me; that look said。 〃Let me go; I want to get Gage before he falls out of his a…〃
  〃Because 'maybe you ought to be the one;〃 he said。 〃You can tell her we don't talk about it; nice people don't talk about it; they just bury it…oops! but don't say 'buried;' you'll give her a plex。〃
  〃I hate you!〃 Rachel sobbed and tore away from him。
  Then he was of course sorry; and it was of course too late。
  〃Rachel…〃
  She pushed by him roughly; crying harder。 〃Leave me alone。 You've done enough。〃 She paused in the kitchen doorway; turning toward him; the tears coursing down her cheeks。 〃I don't want this discussed in front of Ellie anymore; Lou。 I mean it。 There's nothing natural about death。 Nothing。 You as a doctor should know that。〃
  She whirled and was gone; leaving Louis in the empty kitchen; which still vibrated with their voices。 At last he went to the pantry to get the broom。 As he swept; he reflected on the last thing she had said and on the enormity of this difference of opinion; which had gone undiscovered for so long。 Because; as a doctor; he knew that death was; except perhaps for childbirth; the most natural thing in the world。
  Taxes were not so sure; human conflicts were not; the conflicts of society were not; boom and bust were not。 In the end there was only the clock; and the markers; which became eroded and nameless in the passage of time。 Even sea turtles and the giant sequoias had to buy out someday。
  〃Zelda;〃 he said aloud。 〃Christ; that must have been bad for her。〃
  The question was should he just let it ride or should he try to do something about it?
  He tilted the dustpan over the wastebasket; and flour slid out with a soft foom; powdering the cast…out cartons and used…up cans。
   10
  〃Hope Ellie didn't take it too hard;〃 Jud Crandall said。 Not for the first time Louis thought that the man had a peculiar… and rather unfortable…ability to put his finger gently on whatever the sore spot was。
  He and Jud and Norma Crandall now sat on the Crandalls' porch in the cool of the evening; drinking iced tea instead of beer。 On 15; going…home…after…the…weekend traffic was fairly heavy…people recognized that every good late…summer weekend now might be the last one; Louis supposed。 Tomorrow he took up his full duties at the University of Maine infirmary All day yesterday and today students had been arriving; filling apartments in Orono and dorms on campus; making beds; renewing acquaintances; and no doubt groaning over another year of eight o'clock classes and mons food。 Rachel had been cool to him all day…no; freezing was more like it…and when he went back across the road tonight; he knew that she would already be in bed; Gage sleeping with her more than likely; the two of them so far over to her side that the baby would be in danger of falling off。 His half of the bed would have grown to three quarters; all of it looking like a big; sterile desert。
  〃I said I hoped…〃
  〃Sorry;〃 Louis said。 〃Woolgathering。 She was a little upset; yeah。 How did you guess that?〃
  〃Seen em e and go; like I said。〃 Jud took his wife's hand gently and grinned at her。 〃Haven't we; dear?〃
  〃Packs and packs of them;〃 Norma Crandall said。 〃We。 love the children。〃
  〃Sometimes that pet cemetery is their first eyeball…to…eyeball with death;〃 Jud said。 〃They see people die on TV; but they know that's pretend; like the old Westerns they used to have at the movies on Saturday afternoons。 On TV and in the Western movies; they just hold their stomachs or their chests and fall over。 Place up on that hill seems a lot more real to most of em than all those movies and TV shows put together; don't you know。〃
  Louis nodded; thinking: Tell my wife that; why don't you?
  〃Some kids it don't affect at all; at least not so you can see it; although I'd guess most of em kinda 。 。 kinda take it home in their pockets to look over later; like all the other stuff they collect。 Most of em are fine。 But some 。 。 you remember the little Holloway boy; Norma?〃
  She nodded。 Ice chattered softly in the glass she held。 Her glasses hung on her chest; and the headlights of a passing car illuminated the chain briefly。 〃He had such nightmares;〃 she said。 〃Dreams about corpses ing out of the ground and I don't know what all。 Then his dog died…ate some poisoned bait was all anyone in town could figure; wasn't it; Jud?〃
  〃Poisoned bait;〃 Jud said; nodding。 〃That's what most people thought; ayuh。 That was 1925。 Billy Holloway was maybe ten then。 Went on to bee a state senator。 Ran for the U。S。 House of Representatives later on; but he lost。 That was just before Korea。〃
  〃He and some of his friends had a funeral for the dog;〃 Norma remembered。 〃It was just a mongrel; but he loved it well。 I remember his parents were a little against the burying; because of the bad dreams and all; but it went off fine。 Two of the bigger boys made a coffin; didn't they; Jud?〃
  Jud nodded and drained his iced

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