rasalvatore.attackoftheclones-第25章

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　〃What？〃
　
　The　two　of　them　were　alone　together；　while　Jobal　and　Ruwee　entertained　Anakin　out　in　the　sitting　room。
　〃Why　do　you　keep　saying　such　things　about　me　and　Anakin？〃
　〃Because　it's　obvious；〃　Sola　replied。　〃You　see　it…you　can't　deny　it　to　yourself。〃
　
　Padme　sighed　and　sat　down　on　the　bed；　her　posture　and　expression　giving　all　the　confirmation　that　Sola　needed。
　〃I　thought　Jedi　weren't　supposed　to　think　such　things；〃　Sola　remarked。　〃They're　not。〃
　〃But　Anakin　does。〃　Sola's　words　brought　Padme's　gaze　up　to　meet　hers。　〃You　know　I'm　right。〃
　
　Padme　shook　her　head　helplessly；　and　Sola　laughed。
　〃You　think　more　like　a　Jedi　than　he　does；〃　she　said。　〃And　you　shouldn't。〃
　〃What　do　you　mean？〃　Padme　didn't　know　whether　to　take　offense；　having　no　idea　of　where　her　sister　was　heading　with　this。
　〃You're　so　tied　up　in　your　responsibilities　that　you　don't　give　any　weight　to　your　desires；〃　Sola　explained。　〃Even　with　your　own　feelings　toward　Anakin。〃
　〃You　don't　know　how　I　feel　about　Anakin。〃
　〃You　probably　don't　either；〃　Sola　said。　〃Because　you　won't　allow　yourself　to　even　think　about　it。　Being　a　Senator　and　being　a　girlfriend　aren't　mutually　exclusive；　you　know。〃
　〃My　work　is　important！〃
　〃Who　said　it　wasn't？〃　Sola　asked；　holding　her　hands　up　in　a　gesture　of　peace。　〃It's　funny；　Padme；　because　you　act　as　if　you're　prohibited；　and　you're　not；　while　Anakin　acts　as　if　he's　under　no　such　prohibitions；　and　he　is！〃
　〃You're　way　ahead　of　everything　here；〃　Padme　said。　〃Anakin　and　I　have　only　been　together　for　a　few　days…before　that；　I　hadn't　seen　him　in　a　decade！〃　Sola　shrugged。　Her　look　went　from　that　sly　grin　she　had　been　sporting　since　dinner　to　one　of　more　genuine　concern　for　her　sister。　She　sat　down　on　the　bed　beside　Padme　and　draped　an　arm　across　her　shoulders。　〃I　don't　know　any　of　the　details；　and　you're　right；　I　don't　know　how　you　feel…about　any　of　this。　But　I　know　how　he　feels；　and　so　do　you。〃
　
　Padme　didn't　disagree。　She　just　sat　there；　fortable　in　Sola's　hug；　gazing　down　at　the　floor；　trying　not　to　think。　〃It　frightens　you；〃　Sola　remarked。　Surprised；　Padme　looked　back　up。
　〃What　are　you　afraid　of；　Sis？〃　Sola　asked　sincerely。　〃Are　you　afraid　of　Anakin's　feelings　and　the　responsibilities　that　he　cannot　dismiss？　Or　are　you　afraid　of　your　own　feelings？〃
　
　She　lifted　Padme's　chin；　so　that　they　were　looking　at　each　other　directly；　their　faces　only　a　breath　apart。　〃I　don't　know　how　you　feel；〃　she　admitted　again。　〃But　I　suspect　that　it's　something　new　to　you。　Something　scary；　but　something　wonderful。〃
　
　Padme　said　nothing；　but　she　knew　that　disagreement　would　not　be　honest。
　
　　〃They're　a　lot　to　digest；　all　at　once；〃　Padme　said　to　Anakin　later　on；　when　the　two　were　alone　in　her　room。　She　had　barely　unpacked　her　things；　and　was　now　throwing　clothes　into　her　bag　once　more。　Different　clothes　this　time；　though。　Less　formal　than　the　outfits　she　had　to　wear　as　a　representative　of　Naboo。
　〃Your　mother　is　a　fine　cook；〃　Anakin　replied；　drawing　a　curious　stare　from　Padme；　until　she　realized　that　he　was　joking　and　had　understood　her　point　perfectly　well。
　〃You're　lucky　to　have　such　a　wonderful　family；〃　Anakin　said　more　seriously；　and　then；　with　a　teasing　grin；　he　added；　〃Maybe　you　should　give　your　sister　some　of　your　clothes。〃
　
　Padme　smirked　right　back　at　him；　but　then　looked　about　at　the　mess　and　couldn't　really　disagree。　〃Don't　worry；〃　she　assured　him。　〃This　won't　take　long。〃
　〃I　just　want　to　get　there　before　dark。　Wherever　there　is；　I　mean。〃　Anakin　continued　to　scan　the　room；　surprised　at　the　number　of　closets；　all　of　them　full。　〃You　still　live　at　home；〃　he　said；　shaking　his　head。　〃I　didn't　expect　that。〃
　〃I　move　around　so　much；〃　Padme　replied。　〃I've　never　had　the　time　to　even　begin　to　find　a　place　of　my　own；　and　I'm　not　sure　I　want　to。　Official　residences　have　no　warmth。　Not　like　here。　I　feel　good　here。　I　feel　at　home。〃
　
　The　simple　beauty　of　her　statement　gave　Anakin　pause。　〃I've　never　had　a　real　home；〃　he　said；　speaking　more　to　himself　than　to　Padme。　〃Home　was　always　where　my　mom　was。〃　He　looked　up　at　her　then；　and　took　fort　in　her　sympathetic　smile。
　
　Padme　went　back　to　her　packing。　〃The　Lake　Country　is　beautiful；〃　she　started　to　explain；　but　she　stopped　when　she　glanced　back　at　Anakin；　to　see　him　holding　a　holograph　and　grinning。
　〃Is　this　you？〃　he　asked；　pointing　to　the　young　girl；　seven　or　eight　at　the　most；　in　the　holo；　surrounded　by　dozens　of　little　green　smiling　creatures；　and　holding　one　in　her　arms。
　
　Padme　laughed；　and　seemed　embarrassed。　〃That　was　when　I　went　with　a　relief　group　to　Shadda…Bi…Boran。　Their　sun　was　imploding　and　the　planet　was　dying。　I　was　helping　to　relocate　the　children。〃　She　walked　over　to　stand　beside　Anakin　and　placed　one　hand　on　his　shoulder；　pointing　to　the　holograph　with　the　other。　〃See　that　little　one　I'm　holding？　His　name　was　N'a…kee…tula；　which　means　'sweetheart。'　He　was　so　full　of　life…all　those　kids　were。〃
　〃Were？〃
　〃They　were　never　able　to　adapt；〃　she　explained　somberly。　〃They　were　never　able　to　live　off　their　native　planet。〃
　
　Anakin　winced；　then　quickly　picked　up　another　holograph；　this　one　showing　Padme　a　couple　of　years　later；　wearing　official　robes　and　standing　between　two　older　and　similarly　robed　Legislators。　He　looked　back　at　the　first　holo；　then　to　this　one；　noting　that　Padme's　expression　seemed　much　more　severe　here。　〃My　first　day　as　an　Apprentice　Legislator；〃　Padme　explained。
　
　Then；　as　if　she　was　reading　his　mind；　she　added；　〃See　the　difference？〃　Anakin　studied　the　holograph　a　moment　longer；　then　looked　up　and　laughed；　seeing　Padme　wearing　that　same　long　and　stern　expression。　She　laughed　as　well；　then　squeezed　his　shoulder　and　went　back　to　her　packing。
　
　Anakin　put　the　holographs　down　side　by　side　and　looked　at　them　for　a　long；　long　time。　Two　sides　of　the　woman　he　loved。
　
　Chapter　Fifteen
　
　The　water　speeder　zoomed　above　the　lake；　the　downthrusters　churning　only　a　slight；　almost　indistinguishable；　wake。　Every　so　often；　a　wave　clipped　in；　and　a　fine　spray　broke　over　the　bow。　Anakin　and　Padme　reveled　in　the　cool　water　and　the　wind；　eyes　half　closed；　Padme's　rich　brown　hair　flying　out　behind　her。
　
　Beside　them　at　the　wheel；　Paddy　Accu　gave　a　laugh　at　every　spray；　his　graying　hair　spreading　out　widely。　〃Always　better　over　the　water！〃　he　shouted　in　his　gruff　voice；　against　the　wind　and　the　noise　of　the　speeder。
　〃Are　you　liking　it？〃
　
　Padme　turned　a　sincere　smile　upon　him；　and　the　grizzled　man　leaned　in　close　and　backed　off　the　accelerator。　〃She's　even　more　fun　if　I　put　her　down；〃　he　explained。　〃You　think　you'll　like　that；　Senator？〃
　
　Both　Padme　and　Anakin　looked　at　him　curiously；　neither　quite　understanding。　〃We　were　going　out　to　the　island；〃　Anakin　remarked；　a　note　of　concern　in　his　voice。
　〃Oh；　I'll　get　you　there！〃　Paddy　Accu　said　with　a　wheezing　laugh。　He　pushed　forward　a　lever…and　the　speeder　dropped　into　the　water。
　〃Paddy？　〃Padme　asked。
　
　The　man　laughed　all　the　harder。　〃Don't　tell　me　you've　forgotten！〃　he　roared；　kicking　in　the　accelerator。　The　speeder　jetted　off　across　the　water；　no　longer　smooth　in　flight；　but　bouncing　across　the　rippling　surface。
　〃Oh；　yes！〃　Padme　said　to　him。　〃I　do　remember！〃
　
　After　a　moment　of　initial　shock；　looking　from　Padme　to　Paddy；　wondering　if　the　man　was　up　to　some　dark　deception；　Anakin　caught　on；　and　was　also　swept　away　by　the　bouncing　ride。
　
　The　spray　was　nearly　continuous；　thrown　up　by　the　prow　and　washing　over　them。
　〃It's　wonderful！〃　Padme　exclaimed。
　
　Anakin　couldn't　disagree。　〃We　spend　so　much　time　in　control；〃　he　replied。　His　mind　went　back　to　his　younger　days；　on　Tatooine；　Podracing　along　wild　courses；　skirting　disaster。　This　was　somewhat　like　that；　especially　when　Paddy；　in　no　apparent　hurry　to　reach　the　island　dock；　flipped　the　speeder　up　and　down　from　one　edge　to　the　other；　zigzagging　his　way。　It　amazed　Anakin　how　this　little　adjustment；　dropping　into　the　water　instead　of　smoothly　skimming　above　it；　had　changed　the　perspective　of　this　journey。　It　was　true；　he　knew；　that　technology　had　tamed　the　galaxy；　and　while　that　seemed　a　good　thing　in　terms　of　efficiency　and　fort；　he　had　to　believe　that　something；　too；　had　been　lost：　the　excitement　of　living　on　the　edge　of　disaster。　Or　the　simple　tactile　feeling　of　a　ride　like　this；　bouncing　across　the　waves；　feeling　the　wind　and　the　cold　spray。
　
　At　one　point；　Paddy　put　the　speeder　so　far　up　on　edge　that　both　Anakin　and　Padme　thought　they　would　tip　over。　Anakin　almost　reached　into　the　Force　to　secure　the　craft；　but　stopped　himself　in　order　to　enjoy　the　thrill。　They　didn't　tip。　Paddy　was　an　expert　driver　who　knew　how　to　take　his　speeder　to　the　very　limits　without　crashing　over。　It　was　some　time　later　that　he　slowed　the　craft　and　allowed　it　to　drift　in　against　the　island　dock。
　
　Padme　grabbed　the　older　man's　hand　and　leaned　in　to　kiss　his　cheek。　〃Thank　you！〃
　
　Anakin　was　surprised　that　he　could　see　Paddy's　blush　through　the　man's　ruddy　skin。　〃It　was　。　。　。　fun；〃　he　admitted。
　〃If　it　isn't；　then　what's　the　point？〃　the　gruff…looking　man　replied　with　a　great　belly　laugh。
　
　While　Paddy　secured　the　speeder；　Anakin　hopped　onto　the　dock。　He　reached　back　to　take　Padme's　hand；　helping　her　stay　balanced　while　she　debarked　with　her　suitcase　in　her　other　hand。
　〃I'll　bring　the　bags　up　for　you；〃　Paddy　offered；　and　Padme　looked　back　and　smiled。　〃You　go　and　see　what　you　can　see…　don't　want　to　be　wasting　your　time　on　the　little　chores！〃
　〃Wasting　time；〃　Padme　echoed。　There　was　an　unmistakable　wistfulness　in　her　voice。
　
　The　young　couple　walked　up　a　long　flight　of　wooden　stairs；　past　flower　beds　and　hanging　vines。　They　came　onto　a　terrace　overlooking　a　beautiful　garden；　and　beyond　that；　the　shimmering　lake　and　the　mountains　rising　behind　it；　all　blue　and　purple。
　
　Padme　leaned　her　crossed　forearms　on　the　balustrade　and　stared　out　at　the　wondrous　view。
　〃You　can　see　the　mountains　in　the　water；〃　Anakin　remarked；　shaking　his　head　and　grinning。　The　water　was　still；　the　light　just　right；　so　that　the　mountains　in　the　lake　seemed　almost　perfect　replicas。　〃Of　course；〃　she　agreed　without　moving。
　
　He　gazed　at　her　until　she　turned　to　look　back　at　him。
　〃It　seems　an　obvious　thing　to　you；〃　he　said；　〃but　where　I　grew　up；　there　weren't　any　lakes。　Whenever　I　see　this　much　water；　every　detail　of　it。。。〃
　
　He　ended　by　shaking　his　head；　obviously　overwhelmed。
　〃Amazes　you？〃
　〃And　pleases　me；〃　he　said　with　a　warm　smile。
　
　Padme　turned　back　to　the　lake。　〃I　guess　it's　hard　to　hold　on　to　appreciation　for　some　things；〃　she　admitted。　〃But　after　all　these　years；　I　still　see　the　beauty　of　the　mountains　reflected　in　the　water。　I　could　stare　at　them　all　day；　every　day。〃
　
　Anakin　stepped　up　to　the　balustrade　beside　her；　leaning　in　very　close。　He　closed　his　eyes　and　inhaled　the　sweet　scent　of　Padme；　felt　the　warmth　of　her　skin。
　〃When　I　was　in　Level　Three；　we　used　to　e　here　for　school　retreat；〃　she　said。　She　pointed　out　across　the　way；　to　another　island。　〃See　that　island？　We　used　to　swim　there　every　day。　I　love　the　water。〃
　〃I　do；　too。　I　guess　it　es　from　growing　up　on　a　desert　planet。〃　He　was　staring　at　her　again；　his　eyes　soaking　in　her　beauty。　H