annr.pandora-第8章

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！


he　Imperial　throne　at　the　age　of　fifty；　would　not　meddle　with　me；　for　he　was　more　a　public　puritan　and　domestic　dictator　than　Augustus。　If　I　kept　to　the　house；　if　I　didn't　go　abroad　to　banquets　and　parties　and　hang　around　with　the　Empress　Livia；　Augustus's　wife　and　mother　of　Tiberius；　perhaps　I　wouldn't　be　pushed　into　being　a　stepmother！　I'd　stay　home。　I　had　to　care　for　my　Father。　He　deserved　it。　Even　though　he　was　perfectly　healthy；　he　was　still　old！
　With　all　due　respect　for　the　husbands　I　have　mentioned；　whose　names　are　more　than　footnotes　in　mon　Roman　histories；　I　was　a　wretched　wife。
　I　had　plenty　of　my　own　money　from　my　Father；　I　listened　to　nothing；　and　yielded　to　the　act　of　love　only　on　my　own　terms；　which　I　always　obtained；　being　gifted　with　enough　beauty　to　make　men　really　suffer。
　I　became　a　member　of　the　Cult　of　Isis　just　to　spite　these　husbands　and　get　away　from　them；　so　that　I　could　hang　around　at　the　Temple　of　Isis；　where　I　spent　an　enormous　amount　of　time　with　other　interesting　women；　some　far　more　adventurous　and　unconventional　than　I　dared　to　be。　I　was　attracted　to　whores。　I　saw　the　brilliant；　loose　women　as　having　conquered　a　barrier　which　I；　the　loving　daughter　of　my　Father；　would　never　conquer。
　I　became　a　regular　at　the　Temple。　I　was　initiated　at　last　in　a　secret　ceremony；　and　I　walked　in　every　procession　of　Isis　in　Rome。
　My　husbands　loathed　this。　Maybe　that's　why　after　I　came　home　to　my　Father　I　gave　up　the　worship。　Whatever；　it　was　a　good　thing　perhaps　that　I　had。　But　fortune　could　not　be　so　easily　shaped　by　any　decision　of　mine。
　Now　Isis　was　an　imported　goddess；　from　Egypt；　of　course；　and　the　old　Romans　were　as　suspicious　of　her　as　they　were　of　the　terrible　Cybele；　the　Great　other　from　the　Far　East；　who　led　her　male　devotees　to　castrate　themselves。　The　whole　city　was　filled　with　these　〃Eastern　cults；〃　and　the　conservative　population　thought　them　dreadful。
　These　cults　weren't　rational；　they　were　ecstatic　or　euphoric。　They　offered　a　plete　rebirth　through　understanding。
　The　typical　conservative　Roman　was　far　too　practical　for　that。　If　you　didn't　know　by　age　five　that　the　gods　were　made…up　creatures　and　the　myths　invented　stories；　then　you　were　a　fool。
　But　Isis　had　a　curious　distinction　…　something　that　set　her　far　apart　from　the　cruel　Cybele。　Isis　was　a　loving　mother　and　goddess。　Isis　forgave　her　worshipers　anything。　Isis　had　e　before　all　Creation。　Isis　was　patient　and　wise。
　That's　why　the　most　degraded　woman　could　pray　at　the　Temple。　That's　why　none　were　ever　turned　away。
　Like　the　Blessed　Virgin　Mary；　who　is　so　well　known　today　throughout　the　East　and　West；　the　Queen　Isis　had　conceived　her　divine　child　by　divine　means。　From　the　dead　and　castrated　Osiris；　she　had　drawn　the　living　seed　by　her　own　power。　And　many　a　time　she　was　pictured　or　sculpted　holding　her　divine　son；　Horus；　on　her　knee。　Her　breast　was　bare　in　all　innocence　to　feed　the　young　god。
　And　Osiris　ruled　in　the　land　of　the　dead；　his　phallus　lost　forever　in　the　waters　of　the　Nile；　where　an　endless　semen　flowed　from　it；　fertilizing　the　remarkable　fields　of　Egypt　every　year　when　the　River　overflowed　its　banks。
　The　music　of　our　Temple　was　divine。　We　used　the　sistrum；　a　small　rigid　metal　lyre　of　sorts；　and　flutes　and　timbrels。　We　danced；　and　we　sang　together。　The　poetry　of　Isis's　litanies　was　fine　and　rapturous。
　Isis　was　the　Queen　of　Navigation；　much　like　the　Blessed　Virgin　Mary　would　be　called　later；　〃Our　Lady　Star　of　the　Sea。〃
　When　her　statue　was　carried　to　the　shore　each　year；　the　procession　was　so　splendid　that　all　Rome　turned　out　to　see　the　Egyptian　gods　with　their　animal　heads；　the　huge　abundance　of　flowers　and　the　statue　of　the　Queen　Mother　herself。　The　air　rang　with　hymns。　Her　Priests　and　Priestesses　walked　in　white　linen　robes。　She　herself；　made　of　marble；　and　carried　high；　holding　her　sacred　sistrum；　dressed　regally　in　a　Grecian　gown　with　Grecian　hair。
　That　was　my　Isis。　I　fell　away　from　her　after　my　last　divorce。　My　Father　didn't　like　the　worship；　and　I　myself　had　enjoyed　it　long　enough。　As　a　free　woman；　I　wasn't　infatuated　with　prostitutes。　I　had　it　infinitely　better。　I　kept　my　Father's　house　and　he　was　just　old　enough；　in　spite　of　his　black　hair　and　his　remarkably　sharp　vision；　that　the　Emperor　left　me　alone。
　I　can't　say　I　remembered　or　thought　of　Marius。　No　one　had　mentioned　Marius　for　years。　He　had　disappeared　out　of　my　mind　after　the　Lupercalia。　There　was　no　force　on　Earth　that　could　e　between　me　and　my　Father。
　My　brothers　all　had　good　luck。　They　married　well；　had　children　and　came　home　from　the　hard　wars　in　which　they　fought；　keeping　the　boundaries　of　the　Empire。
　My　youngest　brother；　Lucius；　I　did　not　like　much；　but　he　was　always　a　little　anxious　and　given　to　drinking　and　apparently　also　to　gambling；　which　very　much　annoyed　his　wife。
　She　I　loved；　as　I　did　all　my　sisters…in…law　and　my　nieces　and　nephews。　I　loved　it　when　they　descended　upon　the　house；　these　flocks　of　children；　squealing　and　running　rampant　with　〃Aunt　Lydia's　blessing；〃　as　they　were　never　allowed　to　do　at　home。
　The　eldest　of　my　brothers；　Antony；　was　in　potential　a　great　man。　Fate　robbed　him　of　greatness。　But　he　had　been　most　ready　for　it；　well　schooled；　trained　and　most　wise。
　The　only　foolish　thing　I　ever　knew　Antony　to　do　was　say　to　me　very　distinctly　once　that　Livia；　Augustus's　wife；　had　poisoned　him　so　that　her　son；　Tiberius；　would　rise。　My　Father；　the　only　other　occupant　of　the　room；　told　him　sternly：
　〃Antony；　never　speak　of　that　again！　Not　here；　not　anywhere！〃　My　Father　stood　up；　and　without　planning　it；　put　in　perspective　the　style　of　life　which　he　and　I　lived；　〃Stay　away　from　the　Imperial　Palace；　stay　away　from　the　Imperial　families；　be　in　the　front　ranks　of　the　games　and　always　in　the　Senate；　but　don't　get　into　their　quarrels　and　their　intrigues！〃
　Antony　was　very　angry；　but　the　anger　had　nothing　to　do　with　my　Father。　〃I　said　it　only　to　those　two　to　whom　I　can　say　it；　you　and　Lydia。　I　detest　eating　dinner　with　a　woman　who　poisoned　her　husband！　Augustus　should　have　re…established　the　Republic。　He　knew　when　death　was　ing。〃
　〃Yes；　and　he　knew　that　he　could　not　restore　the　Republic。　It　was　simply　impossible。　The　Empire　had　grown　to　Britannia　in　the　North；　beyond　Parthia　in　the　East；　it　covers　Northern　Africa。　If　you　want　to　be　a　good　Roman；　Antony；　then　stand　up　and　speak　your　conscience　in　the　Senate。　Tiberius　invites　this。〃
　〃Oh；　Father；　you　are　much　deceived；〃　said　Antony。
　My　Father　put　an　end　to　this　argument。
　But　he　and　I　did　live　exactly　the　life　he　had　described。
　Tiberius　was　immediately　unpopular　with　the　noisy　Roman　crowds。　He　was　too　old；　too　dry；　too　humorless；　too　puritanical　and　tyrannical　at　the　same　time。
　But　he　had　one　saving　grace。　Other　than　his　extensive　love　and　knowledge　of　philosophy；　he　had　been　a　very　good　soldier。　And　that　was　the　most　important　characteristic　the　Emperor　had　to　possess。
　The　troops　honored　him。
　He　strengthened　the　Praetorian　Guard　around　the　Palace；　hired　a　man　named　Sejanus　to　run　things　for　him。　But　he　didn't　bring　legions　into　Rome；　and　he　spoke　a　damned　good　line　about　personal　rights　and　freedom；　that　is；　if　you　could　stay　awake　to　listen。　I　thought　him　a　brooder。
　The　Senate　went　mad　with　impatience　when　he　refused　to　make　decisions。　They　didn't　want　to　make　the　decisions！　But　all　this　seemed　relatively　safe。
　Then　a　horrible　incident　occurred　which　made　me　positively　detest　the　Emperor　wholeheartedly　and　lose　all　my　faith　in　the　man　and　his　ability　to　govern。
　This　incident　involved　the　Temple　of　Isis。　Some　clever　evil　man；　claiming　to　be　the　Egyptian　god　Anubis；　had　enticed　a　highborn　devotee　of　Isis　to　the　Temple　and　gone　to　bed　with　her；　fooling　her　pletely；　though　how　on　Earth　he　did　it　I　can't　imagine。
　I　remember　her　to　this　day　as　the　stupidest　woman　in　Rome。　But　there's　probably　more　to　it。
　Anyway；　it　had　all　happened　at　the　Temple。
　And　then　this　man；　this　fake　Anubis；　went　before　the　highborn　virtuous　woman　and　told　her　in　the　plainest　terms　that　he　had　had　her！　She　went　screaming　to　her　husband。　It　was　a　scandal　of　extraordinary　flair。
　It　had　been　years　since　I　had　been　at　the　Temple；　and　I　was　glad　of　it。
　But　what　followed　from　the　Emperor　was　more　dreadful　than　I　ever　dreamed。
　The　entire　Temple　was　razed　to　the　very　ground。　All　the　worshipers　were　banished　from　Rome；　and　some　of　them　executed。　And　our　Priests　and　Priestesses　were　crucified；　their　bodies　hung　on　the　tree；　as　the　old　Roman　expression　goes；　to　die　slowly；　and　to　rot；　for　all　to　see。
　My　Father　came　into　my　bedroom。　He　went　to　the　small　shrine　of　Isis。　He　took　the　statue　and　smashed　it　on　the　marble　floor。　Then　he　picked　up　the　larger　pieces　and　smashed　each　of　them。　He　made　dust　of　her。
　I　nodded。
　I　expected　him　to　condemn　me　for　my　old　habits。　I　was　overe　with　sadness　and　shock　at　what　had　happened。　Other　Eastern　cults　were　being　persecuted。　The　Emperor　was　moving　to　take　away　the　right　of　Sanctuary　from　various　Temples　throughout　the　Empire。
　〃The　man　doesn't　want　to　be　Emperor　of　Rome；〃　said　my　Father。　〃He's　been　bent　by　cruelty　and　losses。　He's　stiff；　boring　and　pletely　in　terror　for　his　life！　A　man　who　would　not　be　Emperor　cannot　be　Emperor。　Not　now。〃
　〃Maybe　he'll　step　down；〃　I　said　sadly。　〃He　has　adopted　the　young　General　Germanicus　Julius　Caesar。　This　means　Germanicus　is　to　be　his　heir；　does　it　not'？〃
　〃What　good　did　it　do　to　the　earlier　heirs　of　Augustus　when　they　were　adopted？〃　my　Father　asked。
　〃What　do　you　mean？〃　I　asked。
　〃Use　your　head；〃　said　my　Father。　〃We　cannot　continue　pretending　we　are　a　Republic。　We　must　define　the　office　of　this　Emperor　and　the　limits　of　his　power！　We　must　outline　a　form　of　succession　other　than　murder！〃
　I　tried　to　calm　him。
　〃Father；　let's　leave　Rome。　Let's　go　to　our　house　in　Tuscany。　It's　always　beautiful　there；　Father。〃
　〃That's　just　it；　we　can't；　Lydia；〃　he　said。　〃I　have　to　remain　here。　I　have　to　be　loyal　to　my　Emperor。　I　must　do　so　for　all　my　family。　I　must　stand　in　the　Senate。〃
　Within　months；　Tiberius　sent　off　his　young　and　handsome　nephew　Germanicus　Julius　Caesar　to　the　East；　just　to　get　him　away　from　the　adulation　of　the　Roman　public。　As　I　said；　people　spoke　their　minds。
　Germanicus　was　supposed　to　be　Tiberius's　heir！　But　Tiberius　was　too　jealous　to　listen　to　the　crowds　screaming　praise　of　Germanicus　for　his　victories　in　battle。　He　wanted　the　man　far　from　Rome。
　And　so　this　rather　charming　and　seductive　young　general　went　to　the　East；　to　Syria；　he　vanished　from　the　loving　eyes　of　the　Roman　people；　from　the　core　of　the　Empire　where　a　city　crowd　could　determine　the　fate　of　the　world。
　Sooner　or　later　there　would　be　another　campaign　in　the　North；　we　all　figured。　Germanicus　had　hit　hard　at　the　German　tribes　in　his　last　campaign。
　My　brothers　vividly　described　it　to　me　over　the　dinner　table；
　They　told　how　they　had　gone　back　to　avenge　the　hideous　massacre　of　General　Varus　and　his　troops　in　the　Teutoburg　Forest。　They　could　finish　the　job；　if　called　up　again；　and　my　brothers　would　go。　They　were　exactly　the　kind　of　old…fashioned　patricians　who　would　go！
　Meantime　there　were　rumors　that　the　Delatores；　the　notorious　spies　of　the　Praetorian　Guard；　pocketed　one…third　of　the　estate