hh.thessrat.sings.the.blues-第6章

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　sort　of　makes　up　the　tunes；　then　writes　down　the　stuff　that　everyone　is　going　to　play？〃
　〃You're　talking　about　a　poser　and　an　arranger。　They　could　be　one　and　the　same…but　it　is　usually　better　to　divide　up　the　jobs。〃
　〃Can　we　get　one　or　both　of　them？　Zach；　as　the　closest　thing　to　a　professional　here…do　you　have　any　ideas？〃
　〃Shouldn't　be　too　hard。　All　we　have　to　do　is　contact　GASCAP。〃
　〃Gascap？　You　want　to　fill　the　tank　on　a　groundcar？〃
　〃Not　gascap。　GASCAP。　An　acronym　for　the　Galactic　Society　of　posers　Artists　and　Players。　There　is　a　lot　of　unemployment　in　music　and　we　should　be　able　to　locate　some　really　petent　people。〃
　〃Good　as　done。　I'll　get　the　Admiral　on　it　at　once。〃
　〃Impossible；〃　he　growled　in　his　usually　friendly　fashion。　〃No　civilians；　no　outsiders。　This　is　a　secret　operation　all　the　way。
　〃It　is　now…but　it　goes　public　in　seven　days。　All　we　do　is　invent　a　cover　story。　Say　that　the　group　is　being　organized　to　make　a　holofilm。　Or　as　a　publicity　stunt　by　a　big　firm。　Like　maybe　McSwineys　wants　to　change　their　image；　go　upmarket。　Get　rid　of　Blimey　McSwiney　and　his　alcoholic　red　nose；　use　our　pop　group　instead。　But　it　must　be　done…and　at　once。'
　It　was。　The　next　day　an　anorexic　and　pallid　young　man　was　brought　to　our　rehearsal　studio。　Zach　whispered　in　my　ear。　〃I　recognize　him…that's　Barry　Moyd　Shlepper。　He　wrote　a　pop　musical　a　couple　of　years　back；　〃Don't　Fry　for　Me；　Angelina。〃　He　hasn't　had　a　success　since。〃
　〃I　remember　it。　The　show　about　the　cook　who　marries　the　dictator。〃
　〃That's　the　one。〃
　〃Wele；　Barry；　wele；〃　I　said　walking　over　and　shaking　his　bony　hand。　〃My　name　is　Jim　and　I'm　in　charge　around　here。〃
　〃Rooty…toot；　man；　rooty…toot；〃　he　said。
　〃And　a　rooty…toot　to　you　as　well。〃　I　could　see　where　we　would　have　to　learn　the　argot　of　the　musical　world　if　our　plan　were　to　succeed。　〃Now…was　this　operation　explained　to　you？〃
　〃Like　maybe　sort　of。　A　new　recording　pany　starting　up　with　plenty　of　bucknicks　to　blow。　Financing　some　new　groups　to　get　the　operation　off　the　ground。〃
　〃That's　it。　You're　in　charge　of　the　music。　Let　me　show　you　what　we　have　and　you　put　it　into　shape。〃
　I　gave　him　earphones　and　the　player：　I　couldn't　bear　listening　to　these　dreadful　positions　yet　another　time。　He　plugged　in　the　cubes　one　by　one　and；　impossible　as　it　was　to　believe；　his　pallid　skin　grew　even　paler。　He　worked　his　way　through　them　all。　Sighed　tremulously；　took　off　the　earphones　and　brushed　the　tears　from　his　eyes。
　〃You　want　like　my　honest　and　truly　opinion？〃
　〃Nothing　less。〃
　〃Well　then；　like　to　break　it　to　you　gently；　this　stuff　really　sucks。　Insufflates。　Implodes。〃
　〃Can　you　do　better？〃
　〃My　cat　can　do　better。　And　scratch　dirt　over　it。〃
　〃Then　you　are　unleashed。　Begin！〃
　There　was　little　else　I　could　do　until　the　music　was　written；　rehearsed；　recorded。　While　all　the　others　would　play　their　instruments　and　sing；　my　work　would　be　limited　to　throwing　the　switch　before　each　piece。　Then　all　of　Zach's　drums；　cymbals；　horns；　bells　and　molecular…synthesizer　effects　would　burst　forth　from　the　loudspeakers　in　full　gallop。　While　this　was　happening　I　would　throw　switches　that　did　nothing；　tinkle　the　keys　on　a　disconnected　keyboard。　So　while　they　got　the　music　going　I　looked　into　the　special　effects。
　This　required　watching　recordings　of　all　of　the　most　popular　groups；　bands　and　soloists。　Some　of　it　was　enjoyable；　some　horribly　dreadful；　all　of　it　too　loud。　In　the　end　I　turned　off　the　sound　and　watched　the　laser　beams；　exploding　fireworks　and　physical　acrobatics。　I　made　sketches；　mumbled　to　myself　a　lot；　spent　a　great　deal　of　the　university's　money。
　And　built　an　incredible　amount　of　plicated　circuitry　into　the　existing　electronics。　Reluctantly；　the　Admiral　produced　the　extras　I　asked　for　and　I　modified　everything　in　the　machine　shop。　It　was　altogether　a　satisfactory　and　fulfilling　week。　I　also　prodded　the　Admiral　until　he　produced　the　promised　payment　of　three　million　credits。
　〃Most　kind；〃　I　said；　jingling　the　six　glowing　five…hundred…thousand…credit　coins。　〃A　decent　fee　for　a　decent　job　done。〃
　〃You　better　put　them　in　a　bank　vault　before　they　go　missing；〃　was　his　surly　advice。
　〃Of　course。　A　capital　idea！〃
　A　singularly　stupid　idea。　Banks　were　for　robbing　and　for　the　tax　authorities　to　keep　track　of。　So　first　I　went　into　the　machine　shop　where　I　did　some　crafty　metalwork　before　I　packed　wrapped　and　labeled　the　coins。　Then　I　went　for　a　walk　and；　as　a　precaution；　I　exercised　all　of　my　considerable　talents　at　avoiding　observation　to　shake　off　any　possible　tails　the　Admiral　had　put　on　me。　I　was　risking　my　life…in　more　ways　than　one！…for　this　money。　If　I　came　out　of　it　all　in　one　piece　I　wanted　to　have　it　waiting。
　I　finally　reached　a　small　country　post　office；　selected　at　random；　some　distance　from　the　city。　It　was　manned　by　a　nearsighted　gentleman　of　advanced　years。
　〃Spatial　express　and　insured　for　offplanet　delivery。　That　ain't　gonna　be　cheap　young　feller。〃
　〃Do　it；　daddy…o；　do　it。　I've　got　the　gilt。〃　He　blinked　and　I　translated　back　to　his　native　language。　〃Payment　is　not　a　problem；　dear　sir。　You　must　assure　me　that　this　gets　to　Professor　Van　Diver　at　the　Galaksia　Universitato　at　once。　He　is　expecting　these　historical　documents。〃
　I　had　already　spaciofaxed　the　professor　that　I　was　sending　him　some　personal　possessions；　that　he　should　please　hold　on　to　them　until　I　came　and　picked　them　up。　In　case　he　got　curious　the　contents　were　sealed　in　an　armored　case　that　would　take　a　diamond　drill　to　open。　I　was　betting　that　his　curiosity　would　not　go　that　far。　My　package　vanished　into　the　mailchute　and　I　went　back　to　work。
　At　the　end　of　the　sixth　day　we　were　all　pretty　exhausted。　Barry　Moyd　Shlepper　had　stayed　up　for　two　nights　running；　cold　towels　wrapped　around　his　head；　fortified　by　trebcaff　coffee；　putting　together　some　musical　numbers　from　the　archaic　junk。　He　proved　to　be　a　good　hand　at　theft…or　adaptation　as　he　liked　to　call　it。　The　group　had　rehearsed；　recorded；　then　rehearsed　some　more。　I　had　concentrated　on　costumes；　props　and　effects　and　was　almost　satisfied。
　After　one　last　break　I　called　my　troops　together。　〃You　will　be　pleased　to　know　that　we　will　now　give　our　first　public　performance。〃　This　produced　the　expected　groans　and　shrill　cries　of　plaint　and　I　waited　until　they　had　died　down。
　〃I　know　how　you　feel…and　I　feel　the　same　way　too。　I　think　that　the　blues　number；　‘I'm　All　Alone；'　is　our　best　piece。　You　know　we　have　had　a　lot　of　help　from　the　staff　here　and　I　think　we　owe　it　to　them　to　see　what　we　all　have　done。　I've　invited　something　like　thirty　of　them　and　they　should　be　here　soon。
　Right　on　cue　the　door　opened　and　the　suspicious　public　employees　filed　in；　each　carrying　a　folding　chair。　Admiral　Benbow　led　the　way；　his　flag　officer　carried　two　chairs。　Zach　supervised　the　seating　arrangements　and　our　cavernous　rehearsal　studio　became　a　theater　for　the　first　time。　We　retreated　to　the　podium　where　I　dimmed　the　houselights；　then　hit　myself　and　my　electronic　gear　with　a　baby　spot。
　〃Ladies；　gentlemen；　guests。　We　have　all　worked　hard　this　last　week　and　in　the　name　of　The　Stainless　Steel　Rats　I　would　like　to　thank　you。〃
　I　hit　a　switch　and　my　amplified　voice　echoed　Thank　You；　Thank　You。　Overlaid　by　a　growing　crescendo　of　drums　and　ending　with　a　crack　of　thunder　and　a　few　realistic　lightning　bolts。　I　could　see　by　their　wide　eyes　and　dropped　jaws　that　I　had　their　attention。
　〃For　our　first　number　the　melodious　Madonette　will　render　heart…rendingly　the　tragically　lonely…‘I'm　All　Alone'！〃
　At　this　the　colored　kliegs　burst　down　on　us；　revealing　our　pink…sequined　skintight　costumes　in　all　their　iridescent　glory。　As　we　played　the　opening　bars　of　the　theme　the　lights　concentrated　on　Madonette；　whose　costume　had　more　flesh　than　fabric　and　seemed　to　be　deeply　appreciated。　After　a　last　whistle　of　wind　and　crash　of　thunder　and　lighting　she　extended　her　lovely　arms　to　the　audience　and　sang：
　Here　I　am…and　I'm　all　alone　
No　one　calls　on　the　telephone。　
I　look　around…and　what　do　I　see？　
There's　no　one　here　but　me…me…me。　
Me　me　…　me　
That's　all　I　see　
I'm　all　alone；　
just　
me　
me　
me。
　This　was　all　done　to　the　acpaniment　of　holographic　shaking　trees；　storm　clouds　and　other　spooky　effects。　The　music　wailed　as　Madonette　seguidillad　into　the　rest　of　the　song。
　I'm　all　alone　and　it's　very　dark　
I　sneak　out　the　window　to　the　park。　
The　wind　blows　bard　and　the　tree　limbs　wave　
And　I'm　right　before　an　open　grave！　
When　I　try　to　run　and　try　to　flee…　
But　I　know　they're　out　there　after　me！　
I　sit　and　cry　and　I　know　that's　right　…　
Because　the　sun　es　up　
It's　the　end　of　the　night　。　。　。
　With　a　last　wail　and　a　writhe　of　purple　fog　the　sun　rose　majestically　behind　us　and　the　music　trickled　to　an　end。
　The　silence　stretched　and　stretched…until　it　was　finally　broken　by　a　tumultuous　applause。
　〃Well　gang；〃　I　said；　〃it　looks　like　we　have　done　it。　Or　as　Barry　Moyd　says　it　looks　like　we　are　but　really　rooty…getooty！　〃
　On　the　seventh　day　we　did　not　rest。　After　a　final　round　of　rehearsals　I　called　an　early　break。　〃Get　some　racktime。　Pack　your　bags。　The　music　and　props　are　ready　to　go。　We　ship　out　at　midnight。　Transportation　to　the　spaceport　leaves　here　an　hour　earlier…so　don't　be　late。〃
　They　shuffled　out　wearily　with　dragging　feet。　The　Admiral　stamped　in　as　they　left；　with　Zach　trailing　in　his　wake。
　〃This　agent　informs　me　that　all　preparations　have　been　made　and　you　are　ready　to　embark。〃　I　could　only　nod　agreement。
　〃Wish　I　could　go　with　you；〃　Zach　said。
　〃You　set　it　all　up…you　have　our　thanks　for　that。　Now　get　going。〃
　He　numbed　my　fingers　with　his　handshake　and　the　door　closed　behind　him。
　The　Admiral's　smile　had　all　of　the　warmth　of　a　striking　snake。　〃Drug　Enforcement　has　e　up　with　a　crime　so　awful　that　it　means　an　instant　sentence　to　Liokukae。〃
　〃That's　nice…what　is　it？〃
　〃Misuse　of　a　highly　refined　and　expensive　drug　called　baksheesh。　You　and　the　rest　of　the　musicians　have　been　caught　smuggling　it　and　are　addicted　to　it。　There　is　a　medical　cure　for　the　addiction　that　leaves　the　victim　weak　and　vibrating　for　a　number　of　days。　This　should　give　you　a　little　time　to　look　around　before　you　have　to　play　your　first　concert。　The　press　release　has　already　gone　out　about　your　capture　and　your　sentence　to　prison　hospital　for　the　criminally　doped。　The　natives　of　Liokukae　will　not　be　surprised　at　all　when　you　arrive　there。　Questions？〃
　〃A　big　one。　Has　the　munication　been　set　up？〃
　〃Yes。　The　coded　radio　built　into　your　jaw　can　reach　the　receiver　at　the　entrance　terminal　from　any　place　on　the　planet。　It　will　be　manned　all　of　the　time　and　an　officer　will　be　listening　in　on　all　munication。　Your　contact　on　the　ground　will　give　you　what　aid　he　can　before　you　go　out　of　the　sealed　terminal。　Then　he　will　move　to　the　spacecruiser　Remorseless　in　orbit　above；　which　will　also　monitor　your　radio。　We　can　hit　anywhere　on　the　planet　in　a　maximum　of　eleven　minutes。　Send　the　signal　when　you　have　found　the　artifact　and　the　space　marines　will　be　there。　Report　at　a　minimum　of　once　a　day。　Location　and　results　of　your　investigation。〃
　〃Just　in　case　we　get　blown　away　and　you　have　to　send　in　the　second　team？〃
　〃Exactly。　More　questions？〃
　〃One。　Going　to　wish　us　luck？〃
　〃No。　Don't　believ