pgw.threemenandamaid-第10章

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　you　think？〃
　〃He　is　sure　to　be　pretty　angry　at　first；〃　agreed　Billie。　〃You　see　I　know　he　has　always　hoped　that　I　would　marry　Bream。〃
　〃Bream！　Bream　Mortimer！　What　a　silly　thing　to　hope！〃
　〃Well；　you　see；　I　told　you　that　Mr。　Mortimer　was　father's　best　friend。　They　are　both　over　in　England　now；　and　are　trying　to　get　a　house　in　the　country　for　the　summer　which　we　can　all　share。　I　rather　think　the　idea　is　to　bring　me　and　Bream　closer　together。〃
　〃How　the　deuce　could　that　fellow　be　brought　any　closer　to　you？　He's　like　a　burr　as　it　is。〃
　〃Well；　that　was　the　idea；　I'm　sure。　Of　course；　I　could　never　look　at　Bream　now。〃
　〃I　hate　looking　at　him　myself；〃　said　Sam　feelingly。
　A　group　of　afflicted　persons；　bent　upon　playing　with　long　sticks　and　bits　of　wood；　now　invaded　the　upper　deck。　Their　weak…minded　cries　filled　the　air。　Sam　and　the　girl　rose。
　〃Touching　on　your　father　once　more；〃　he　said　as　they　made　their　way　below；　〃is　he　a　very　formidable　sort　of　man？〃
　〃He　can　be　a　dear。　But　he's　rather　quick…tempered。　You　must　be　very　ingratiating。〃
　〃I　will　practise　it　in　front　of　the　glass　every　morning　for　the　rest　of　the　voyage；〃　said　Sam。
　He　went　down　to　the　stateroom　in　a　mixed　mood　of　elation　and　apprehension。　He　was　engaged　to　the　most　wonderful　girl　in　the　world；　but　over　the　horizon　loomed　the　menacing　figure　of　Father。　He　wished　he　could　induce　Billie　to　allow　him　to　waive　the　formality　of　thawing　Father。　Eustace　Hignett　had　apparently　been　able　to　do　so。　But　that　experience　had　presumably　engendered　a　certain　caution　in　her。　The　Hignett　fiasco　had　spoiled　her　for　runaway　marriages。　Well；　if　it　had　to　be　done；　it　must　be　done；　and　that　was　all　there　was　to　it。
　
　CHAPTER　FIVE
　
　〃Good　God！〃　cried　Eustace　Hignett。
　He　stared　at　the　figure　which　loomed　above　him　in　the　fading　light　which　came　through　the　porthole　of　the　stateroom。　The　hour　was　seven…thirty　and　he　had　just　woken　from　a　troubled　doze；　full　of　strange　nightmares；　and　for　the　moment　he　thought　that　he　must　still　be　dreaming；　for　the　figure　before　him　could　have　walked　straight　into　any　nightmare　and　no　questions　asked。　Then　suddenly　he　became　aware　that　it　was　his　cousin；　Samuel　Marlowe。　As　in　the　historic　case　of　father　in　the　pigstye；　he　could　tell　him　by　his　hat。　But　why　was　he　looking　like　that？　Was　it　simply　some　trick　of　the　uncertain　light；　or　was　his　face　really　black　and　had　his　mouth　suddenly　grown　to　six　times　its　normal　size　and　bee　a　vivid　crimson？
　Sam　turned。　He　had　been　looking　at　himself　in　the　mirror　with　a　satisfaction　which；　to　the　casual　observer；　his　appearance　would　not　have　seemed　to　justify。　Hignett　had　not　been　suffering　from　a　delusion。　His　cousin's　face　was　black；　and；　even　as　he　turned；　he　gave　it　a　dab　with　a　piece　of　burnt　cork　and　made　it　blacker。
　〃Hullo！　You　awake？〃　he　said　and　switched　on　the　light。
　Eustace　Hignett　shied　like　a　startled　horse。　His　friend's　profile；　seen　dimly；　had　been　disconcerting　enough。　Full　face；　he　was　a　revolting　object。　Nothing　that　Eustace　Hignett　had　encountered　in　his　recent　dreamsand　they　had　included　such　unusual　fauna　as　elephants　in　top　hats　and　running　shortshad　affected　him　so　profoundly。　Sam's　appearance　smote　him　like　a　blow。　It　seemed　to　take　him　straight　into　a　different　and　dreadful　world。
　〃What　。。。　what　。。。　what。。。？〃　he　gurgled。
　Sam　squinted　at　himself　in　the　glass　and　added　a　touch　of　black　to　his　nose。
　〃How　do　I　look？〃
　Eustace　Hignett　began　to　fear　that　his　cousin's　reason　must　have　bee　unseated。　He　could　not　conceive　of　any　really　sane　man；　looking　like　that；　being　anxious　to　be　told　how　he　looked。
　〃Are　my　lips　red　enough？　It's　for　the　ship's　concert；　you　know。　It　starts　in　half　an　hour；　though　I　believe　I'm　not　on　till　the　second　part。　Speaking　as　a　friend；　would　you　put　a　touch　more　black　round　the　ears；　or　are　they　all　right？〃
　Curiosity　replaced　apprehension　in　Hignett's　mind。
　〃What　on　earth　are　you　doing　performing　at　the　ship's　concert？〃
　〃Oh；　they　roped　me　in。　It　got　about　somehow　that　I　was　a　valuable　man　and　they　wouldn't　take　no。〃　Sam　deepened　the　colour　of　his　ears。　〃As　a　matter　of　fact；〃　he　said　casually；　〃my　fiancee　made　rather　a　point　of　my　doing　something。〃
　A　sharp　yell　from　the　lower　berth　proclaimed　the　fact　that　the　significance　of　the　remark　had　not　been　lost　on　Eustace。
　〃Your　fiancee？〃
　〃The　girl　I'm　engaged　to。　Didn't　I　tell　you　about　that？　Yes；　I'm　engaged。〃
　Eustace　sighed　heavily。
　〃I　feared　the　worst。　Tell　me；　who　is　she？〃
　〃Didn't　I　tell　you　her　name？〃
　〃No。〃
　〃Curious！　I　must　have　forgotten。〃　He　hummed　an　airy　strain　as　he　blackened　the　tip　of　his　nose。　〃It's　rather　a　curious　coincidence；　really。　Her　name　is　Bennett。〃
　〃She　may　be　a　relation。〃
　〃That's　true。　Of　course；　girls　do　have　relations。〃
　〃What　is　her　first　name？〃
　〃That　is　another　rather　remarkable　thing。　It's　Wilhelmina。〃
　〃Wilhelmina！〃
　〃Of　course；　there　must　be　hundreds　of　girls　in　the　world　called　Wilhelmina　Bennett；　but　still　it　is　a　coincidence。〃
　〃What　colour　is　her　hair？〃　demanded　Eustace　Hignett　in　a　hollow　voice。　〃Her　hair！　What　colour　is　it？〃
　〃Her　hair？　Now；　let　me　see。　You　ask　me　what　colour　is　her　hair。　Well；　you　might　call　it　auburn　。。。　or　russet　。。。　or　you　might　call　it　Titian。。。。〃
　〃Never　mind　what　you　might　call　it。　Is　it　red？〃
　〃Red？　Why；　yes。　That　is　a　very　good　description　of　it。　Now　that　you　put　it　to　me　like　that；　it　　is　　red。〃
　〃Has　she　a　trick　of　grabbing　at　you　suddenly；　when　she　gets　excited；　like　a　kitten　with　a　ball　of　wool？〃
　〃Yes。　Yes；　she　has。〃
　Eustace　Hignett　uttered　a　sharp　cry。
　〃Sam；〃　he　said；　〃can　you　bear　a　shock？〃
　〃I'll　have　a　dash　at　it。〃
　〃Brace　up！〃
　〃The　girl　you　are　engaged　to　is　the　same　girl　who　promised　to　marry　　me　。〃
　〃Well；　well！〃　said　Sam。
　There　was　a　silence。
　〃Awfully　sorry；　of　course；　and　all　that；〃　said　Sam。
　〃Don't　apologise　to　me！〃　said　Eustace。　〃My　poor　old　chap；　my　only　feeling　towards　you　is　one　of　the　purest　and　profoundest　pity。〃　He　reached　out　and　pressed　Sam's　hand。　〃I　regard　you　as　a　toad　beneath　the　harrow！〃
　〃Well；　I　suppose　that's　one　way　of　offering　congratulations　and　cheery　good　wishes。〃
　〃And　on　top　of　that；〃　went　on　Eustace；　deeply　moved。　〃You　have　got　to　sing　at　the　ship's　concert。〃
　〃Why　shouldn't　I　sing　at　the　ship's　concert？〃
　〃My　dear　old　man；　you　have　many　worthy　qualities；　but　you　must　know　that　you　can't　sing。　You　can't　sing　for　nuts！　I　don't　want　to　discourage　you；　but；　long　ago　as　it　is；　you　can't　have　forgotten　what　an　ass　you　made　of　yourself　at　that　house…supper　at　school。　Seeing　you　up　against　it　like　this；　I　regret　that　I　threw　a　lump　of　butter　at　you　on　that　occasion；　though　at　the　time　it　seemed　the　only　course　to　pursue。〃
　Sam　started。
　〃Was　it　you　who　threw　that　bit　of　butter？〃
　〃It　was。〃
　〃I　wish　I'd　known！　You　silly　chump；　you　ruined　my　collar。〃
　〃Ah；　well；　it's　seven　years　ago。　You　would　have　had　to　send　it　to　the　wash　anyhow　by　this　time。　But　don't　let　us　brood　on　the　past。　Let　us　put　our　heads　together　and　think　how　we　can　get　you　out　of　this　terrible　situation。〃
　〃I　don't　want　to　get　out　of　it。　I　confidently　expect　to　be　the　hit　of　the　evening。〃
　〃The　hit　of　the　evening！　You！　Singing！〃
　〃I'm　not　going　to　sing。　I'm　going　to　do　that　imitation　of　Frank　Tinney　which　I　did　at　the　Trinity　Smoker。　You　haven't　forgotten　that？　You　were　at　the　piano　taking　the　part　of　the　conductor　of　the　orchestra。　What　a　riot　I　waswe　were！　I　say；　Eustace；　old　man；　I　suppose　you　don't　feel　well　enough　to　e　up　now　and　take　your　old　part？　You　could　do　it　without　a　rehearsal。　You　remember　how　it　went　。。。　'Hullo；　Ernest！'　'Hullo；　Frank！'　Why　not　e　along？〃
　〃The　only　piano　I　will　ever　sit　at　will　be　one　firmly　fixed　on　a　floor　that　does　not　heave　and　wobble　under　me。〃
　〃Nonsense！　The　boat's　as　steady　as　a　rock　now。　The　sea's　like　a　mill…pond。〃
　〃Nevertheless；　thanking　you　for　your　suggestion；　no！〃
　〃Oh；　well；　then　I　shall　have　to　get　on　as　best　I　can　with　that　fellow　Mortimer。　We've　been　rehearsing　all　the　afternoon　and　he　seems　to　have　the　hang　of　the　thing。　But　he　won't　be　really　right。　He　has　no　pep；　no　vim。　Still；　if　you　won't　。。。　well；　I　think　I'll　be　getting　along　to　his　stateroom。　I　told　him　I　would　look　in　for　a　last　rehearsal。〃
　The　door　closed　behind　Sam；　and　Eustace　Hignett；　lying　on　his　back；　gave　himself　up　to　melancholy　meditation。　He　was　deeply　disturbed　by　his　cousin's　sad　story。　He　knew　what　it　meant　being　engaged　to　Wilhelmina　Bennett。　It　was　like　being　taken　aloft　in　a　balloon　and　dropped　with　a　thud　on　the　rocks。
　His　reflections　were　broken　by　the　abrupt　opening　of　the　door。　Marlowe　rushed　in。　Eustace　peered　anxiously　out　of　his　berth。　There　was　too　much　cork　on　his　cousin's　face　to　allow　of　any　real　registering　of　emotion；　but　he　could　tell　from　his　manner　that　all　was　not　well。
　〃What's　the　matter？〃
　Sam　sank　on　the　lounge。
　〃The　bounder　has　quit！〃
　〃The　bounder？　What　bounder？〃
　〃There　is　only　one！　Bream　Mortimer；　curse　him！　There　may　be　others　whom　thoughtless　critics　rank　as　bounders；　but　he　is　the　only　man　really　deserving　of　the　title。　He　refuses　to　appear！　He　has　walked　out　on　the　act！　He　has　left　me　flat！　I　went　into　his　stateroom　just　now；　as　arranged；　and　the　man　was　lying　on　his　bunk；　groaning。〃
　〃I　thought　you　said　the　sea　was　like　a　millpond。〃
　〃It　wasn't　that！　He's　perfectly　fit。　But　it　seems　that　the　silly　ass　took　it　into　his　head　to　propose　to　Billie　just　before　dinner　apparently　he's　loved　her　for　years　in　a　silent；　self…effacing　wayand　of　course　she　told　him　that　she　was　engaged　to　me；　and　the　thing　upset　him　to　such　an　extent　that　he　says　the　idea　of　sitting　down　at　a　piano　and　helping　me　give　an　imitation　of　Frank　Tinney　revolts　him。　He　says　he　intends　to　spend　the　evening　in　bed；　reading　Schopenhauer。　I　hope　it　chokes　him。〃
　〃But　this　is　splendid！　This　lets　you　out。〃
　〃What　do　you　mean？　Lets　me　out？〃
　〃Why；　now　you　won't　be　able　to　appear。　Oh；　you　will　be　thankful　for　this　in　years　to　e。〃
　〃Won't　I　appear！　Won't　I　dashed　well　appear！　Do　you　think　I'm　going　to　disappoint　that　dear　girl　when　she　is　relying　on　me？　I　would　rather　die！〃
　〃But　you　can't　appear　without　a　pianist。〃
　〃I've　got　a　pianist。〃
　〃You　have？〃
　〃Yes。　A　little　undersized　shrimp　of　a　fellow　with　a　green　face　and　ears　like　water…wings。〃
　〃I　don't　think　I　know　him。〃
　〃Yes；　you　do。　He's　you！〃
　〃Me！〃
　〃Yes；　you。　You　are　going　to　sit　at　the　piano　to…night。〃
　〃I'm　sorry　to　disappoint　you；　but　it's　impossible。　I　gave　you　my　views　on　the　subject　just　now。〃
　〃You've　altered　them。〃
　〃I　haven't。〃
　〃Well；　you　soon　will；　and　I'll　tell　you　why。　If　you　don't　get　up　out　of　that　damned　berth　you've　been　roosting　in　all　your　life；　I'm　going　to　ring　for　J。　B。　Midgeley　and　I'm　going　to　tell　him　to　bring　me　a　bit　of　dinner　in　here　and　I'm　going　to　eat　it　before　your　eyes。〃
　〃But　you've　had　dinner。〃
　〃Well；　I'll　have　another。　I　feel　just　ready　for　a　nice　fat　pork　chop。。。。〃
　〃Stop。　Stop！〃
　〃A　nice　fat　pork　chop　with　potatoes　and　lots　of　cabbage；〃　repeated　Sam；　firmly。　〃And　I　shall　eat　it　here　on　this　very　lounge。　Now；　how　do　we　go？〃
　〃You　wouldn't　do　that！〃　said　Eustace　piteously。
　〃I　would　and　will。〃
　〃But　I　shouldn't　be　any　good　at　the　piano。　I've　forgotten　how　the