cw.imarriedadeadman-第17章

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　He　misunderstood　her　abstraction；　pressed　her　chin　with　the　cleft　of　his　hand。　〃Now　don't　take　it　like　that；　she　wouldn't　want　you　to；　you　know。　And　Pat；　don't　let　her　know　you've　found　out　about　it。　Let　her　keep　on　thinking　it's　her　secret　and　mine。　I　know　she'll　be　happier　that　way。〃
　She　sighed　deeply。　It　was　a　sigh　of　decision；　of　capitulation　to　the　inevitable。　She　turned　and　kissed　him　briefly　on　the　side　of　the　head　and　stroked　his　hair　a　couple　of　times。　Then　she　stood　up。
　〃I'm　going　up；〃　she　said　quietly。　〃Go　down　and　put　out　the　halllight　after　us；　a　minute。〃
　He　retraced　his　steps　momentarily。　She　picked　up　the　valise；　the　coat；　the　hat；　and　quietly　reopened　the　door　of　her　own　room。
　〃Goodnight；　Patrice。〃
　〃Goodnight；　Father；　I'll　see　you　in　the　morning。〃
　She　carried　them　in　with　her；　and　closed　the　door；　and　in　the　darkness　on　the　other　side　she　stood　still　a　minute。　A　silent；　choking　prayer　welled　up　in　her。
　〃Give　me　strength；　for　there's　no　running　away；　I　see　that　now。　The　battle　must　be　fought　out　here　where　I　stand；　and　I　dare　not　even　cry　out〃
　
　
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　Then　they　stopped　suddenly。　There　were　no　more。　No　more　came。　The　days　became　a　week；　the　week　became　a　month。　The　month　lengthened　toward　two。　And　no　more　came。
　It　was　as　though　the　battle　had　been　won　without　striking　a　blow。　No；　she　knew　that　wasn't　so；　it　was　as　though　the　battle　had　been　broken　off；　held　in　abeyance；　at　the　whim　of　the　crafty；　shadowy　adversary。
　She　clutched　at　straws…straws　of　attempted　prehension…and　they　all　failed　her。
　Mother　Hazzard　said：　〃Edna　Harding　got　back　today；　she's　been　visiting　their　folks　in　Philadelphia　the　past　several　weeks。〃
　But　no　more　came。
　Bill　remarked：　〃I　ran　into　Tom　Bryant　today；　he　tells　me　his　older　sister　Marilyn's　been　laid　up　with　pleurisy；　she　only　got　out　of　bed　for　the　first　time　today。〃
　〃I　thought　I　hadn't　seen　her。〃
　But　no　more　came。
　Caulfield：　Population；　203；000；　she　thought。　That　was　what　the　atlas　in　the　library　said。　And　a　pair　of　hands　to　each　living　soul　of　them。　One　to　hold　down　the　flap　of　a　letter…box；　on　some　secret　shadowy　corner；　the　other　to　quickly；　furtively　slip　an　envelope　through　the　slot。
　No　more　came。　Yet　the　enigma　remained。　What　was　it？　Who　was　it？　Or　rather；　what　had　it　been？　Who　had　it　been？
　Yet　deep　in　her　innermost　heart　she　knew　somehow　the　present　tense　still　fitted　it；　none　other　would　do。　Things　like　that　didn't　just　happen　and　then　stop。　They　either　never　began　at　all；　or　else　they　ran　on　to　their　shattering；　destructive　conclusion。
　But　in　spite　of　that；　security　crept　back　a　little；　frightened　off　once　and　not　so　bold　now　as　before；　but　crept　tentatively　back　toward　her　a　little。
　In　the　mornings　the　world　was　bitter…sweet　to　look　at；　seeming　to　hold　its　breath；　waiting　to　see…
　
　
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　Mother　Hazzard　knocked　on　her　door　just　as　she'd　finished　tucking　Hughie　in。　There　wasn't　anything　exceptional　about　this；　it　was　a　nightly　event；　the　filching　of　a　last　grandmotherly　kiss　just　before　the　light　went　out。　Tonight；　however；　she　seemed　to　want　to　talk　to　Patrice　herself。　And　not　to　know　how　to　go　about　it。
　She　lingered　on　after　she'd　kissed　him；　and　the　side　of　the　crib　had　been　lifted　into　place。　She　stood　there　somewhat　uncertainly；　her　continued　presence　preventing　Patrice　from　switching　out　the　light
　There　was　a　moment's　awkwardness。
　〃Patrice。〃
　〃Yes；　Mother？〃
　Suddenly　she'd　blurted　it　out。　〃Bill　wants　to　take　you　to　the　Country　Club　dance　with　him　tonight　He's　waiting　down　there　now。〃
　Patrice　was　so　pletely　taken　back　she　didn't　answer　for　a　moment；　just　stood　there　looking　at　her。
　〃He　told　me　to　e　up　and　ask　you　if　you'd　go　with　him。〃　Then　she　rushed　on；　as　if　trying　to　talk　her　into　it　by　sheer　profusion　of　wordage；　〃They　have　one　about　once　each　month；　you　know；　and　he's　going　himself；　he　usually　does；　and…why　don't　you　get　dressed　and　go　with　him？〃　she　ended　up　on　a　coaxing　note。
　〃But　I…I〃　Patrice　stammered。
　〃Patrice；　you've　got　to　begin　sooner　or　later。　It　isn't　good　for　you　not　to。　You　haven't　been　looking　as　well　as　you　might　lately。　We're　a　little　worried　about　you。　If　there's　something　troubling　you…　You　do　what　Mother　says；　dear。〃
　It　was　apparently　an　order。　Or　as　close　to　an　order　as　Mother　Hazzard　could　ever　have　brought　herself　to　e。　She　had　opened　Patrice's　closet…door；　meanwhile；　and　was　peering　helpfully　inside。　〃How　about　this？〃　She　took　something　down；　held　it　up　against　herself　to　show　her。
　〃I　haven't　very　much…〃
　〃It'll　do　nicely。〃　It　landed　on　the　bed。　〃They're　not　very　formal　there。　I'll　have　Bill　buy　you　an　orchid　or　gardenia　on　the　way；　that'll　dress　it　up　enough。　You　just　go　and　get　the　feel　of　it　tonight。　It'll　begin　ing　back　to　you　little　by　little。〃　She　smiled　reassuringly　at　her。　〃You'll　be　in　good　hands。〃　She　patted　her　on　the　shoulder　as　she　turned　to　go　outside。　〃Now　that's　a　good　girl。　I'll　tell　Bill　you're　getting　ready。〃
　Patrice　overheard　her　call　down　to　him　from　above…stairs；　a　moment　later；　without　any　attempt　at　modulating　her　voice：　〃The　answer　is　yes。　I　talked　her　into　it。　And　you　be　very　nice　to　her；　young　man；　or　you'll　hear　from　me。〃
　He　was　standing　waiting　for　her　just　inside　the　door　when　she　came　downstairs。
　〃Am　I　all　right？〃　she　asked　uncertainly。
　He　was　suddenly　overe　with　some　sort　of　awkwardness。　〃Gee；　I…I　didn't　know　how　you　could　look　in　the　evening；〃　he　said　haltingly。
　For　the　first　few　moments　of　the　drive；　there　was　a　sort　of　shyness　between　them；　almost　as　though　they'd　only　just　met　tonight　for　the　first　time。　It　was　very　impalpable；　but　it　rode　with　them。　He　turned　on　the　radio　in　the　car。　Dance　music　rippled　back　into　their　faces。　〃To　get　you　into　the　mood；〃　he　said。
　He　stopped；　and　got　out；　and　came　back　with　an　orchid。　〃The　biggest　one　north　of　Venezuela；〃　he　said。　〃Or　wherever　they　e　from。〃
　〃Here；　pin　it　on　for　me。〃　She　selected　a　place。　〃Right　about　here。〃
　Abruptly；　he　balked　at　that；　for　some　strange　reason。　All　but　shied　away　bodily。　〃Oh　no；　that　you　do　yourself；〃　he　said；　more　forcefully　than　she　could　see　any　reason　for。
　〃I　might　stick　myself；〃　he　added　lamely　as　an　afterthought。　A　little　too　long　after。
　〃Why；　you　great　big　coward。〃
　The　hand　that　would　have　held　the　pin　was　a　trifle　unsteady；　she　noticed；　when　he　first　put　it　back　to　the　wheel。　Then　it　quieted。
　They　drove　the　rest　of　the　way。　The　rest　of　the　way　lay　mostly　through　open　country。　There　were　stars　overhead。
　〃I've　never　seen　so　many！〃　she　marvelled。
　〃Maybe　you　haven't　been　looking　up　enough；〃　he　said　gently。
　Toward　the　end；　just　before　they　got　there；　a　peculiar　sort　of　tenderness　seemed　to　overe　him　for　a　minute。　He　even　slowed　the　car　a　little；　as　he　turned　to　her。
　〃I　want　you　to　be　happy　tonight；　Patrice；〃　he　said　earnestly。　〃I　want　you　to　be　very　happy。〃
　There　was　a　moment's　silence　between　them；　then　they　picked　up　speed　again。
　
　
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　And　for　the　next　one；　right　after　that；　the　tune　they　played　was　〃Three　Little　Words。〃　She　remembered　that　afterward。　That　least　of　all　things　about　it；　the　tune　they　had　been　playing　at　the　time。　She　was　dancing　it　with　Bill。　For　that　matter　she'd　been　dancing　them　all　with　him；　steadily；　ever　since　they'd　arrived。　She　wasn't　watching；　she　wasn't　looking　around　her；　she　wasn't　thinking　of　anything　but　the　two　of　them。
　Smiling　dreamily；　she　danced。　Her　thoughts　were　like　a　little　brook　running　swiftly　but　smoothly　over　harmless　pebbles；　keeping　time　with　the　tinkling　music。
　I　like　dancing　with　him。　He　dances　well；　you　don't　have　to　keep　thinking　about　your　feet。　He's　turned　his　face　toward　me　and　is　looking　down　at　me；　I　can　feel　it。　Well；　I'll　look　up　at　him；　and　then　he'll　smile　at　me；　but　I　won't　smile　back　at　him。　Watch。　There；　I　knew　that　was　ing。　I　will　not　smile　back。　Oh；　well；　what　if　I　did？　It　slipped　out　before　I　could　stop　it　Why　shouldn't　I　smile　at　him；　anyway？　That's　the　way　I　feel　about　him；　smilingly　fond。
　A　hand　touched　Bill's　shoulder　from　behind。　She　could　see　the　fingers　slanted　downward　for　a　second；　on　her　side　of　it；　without　seeing　the　hand　or　arm　or　person　it　belonged　to。
　A　voice　said：　〃May　I　cut　in　on　this　one？〃
　And　suddenly　they'd　stopped。　Bill　had　stopped；　so　she　had　to；　too。
　His　arms　left　her。　A　shuffling　motion　took　place；　Bill　stepped　aside；　and　there　was　someone　else　there　in　his　place。　It　was　like　a　double　exposure；　where　one　person　dissolves　into　another。
　Their　eyes　met；　hers　and　the　new　pair。　His　had　been　waiting　for　hers；　and　hers　had　foolishly　run　into　his。　They　couldn't　move　again。
　The　rest　was　horror；　sheer　and　unadulterated。　Horror　such　as　she'd　never　known　she　could　experience。　Horror　under　the　electric　lights。　Death　on　the　dance　floor。　Her　body　stayed　upright；　but　otherwise　she　had　every　feeling　of　death　coursing　through　it。
　〃Georgesson's　the　name；〃　he　murmured　unobtrusively　to　Bill。　His　lips　hardly　seemed　to　stir　at　all。　His　eyes　didn't　leave　hers。
　Bill　pleted　the　ghastly　parody　of　an　introduction。　〃Mrs。　Hazzard；　Mr。　Georgesson。〃
　〃How　do　you　do？〃　he　said　to　her。
　Somehow　there　was　even　worse　horror　in　the　trite　phrase　than　there　had　been　in　the　original　confrontation。　She　was　screaming　in　silent　inward　panic；　her　lips　locked　tight；　unable　even　to　speak　Bill's　name　and　prevent　the　transfer。
　〃May　I？〃　Georgesson　said；　and　Bill　nodded；　and　the　transfer　had　been　pleted；　it　was　too　late。
　Then　for　a　moment；　blessed　reprieve。　She　felt　his　arms　close　about　her；　and　her　face　sank　into　the　sheltering　shadow　of　his　shoulder；　and　she　was　dancing　again。　She　no　longer　had　to　stand　upright；　unsupported。　There；　that　was　better。　A　minute　to　think　in。　A　minute　to　get　your　breath　in。
　The　music　went　on；　their　dancing　went　on。　Bill's　face　faded　away　in　the　background。
　〃We've　met　before；　haven't　we？〃
　Keep　me　from　fainting；　she　prayed；　keep　me　from　falling。
　He　was　waiting　for　his　answer。
　Don't　speak；　don't　answer　him。
　〃Who'd　he　say　you　were？〃
　Her　feet　faltered；　missed。
　〃Don't　make　me　keep　on　doing　this；　I　can't。　Help　me…outside　someplace…or　I'm…〃
　〃Too　warm　for　you？〃　he　said　politely。
　She　didn't　answer。　The　music　was　dying。　She　was　dying。
　He　said；　〃You　went　out　of　step；　just　then。　My　fault；　I'm　afraid。〃
　〃Don't…〃　she　whimpered。　〃Don't…〃
　The　music　stopped。　They　stopped。
　His　arm　left　her　back；　but　his　hand　stayed　tight　about　her　wrist；　holding　her　there　beside　him　for　a　moment。
　He　said；　〃There's　a　veranda　outside。　Over　there；　out　that　way。　I'll　go　out　there　and　wait　for　you；　and　we　can…go　ahead　talking。〃
　She　hardly　knew　what　she　was　saying。　〃I　can't…You　don't　understand…〃　Her　neck　wouldn't　hold　firm；　her　head　kept　trying　to　lob　over　limply。
　〃I　think　I　do。　I　think　I　understand　perfectly。　I　understand　you；　and　you　understand　me。〃　Then　he　added　with　a　grisly　sort　of　emphasis　that　froze　her　to　the　marrow：　〃I　bet　we　two　understand　one　another　better　than　any　other　two　people　in　this　whole　ballroom　at　the　moment。〃
　Bill　was　ing　back　toward　them　from　the　sidelines。
　〃I'll　be　out　there　where　I　said。　Don't　keep　me　waiting　too　long；　or…I'll　simply　have　to　e　in　and　look　you　up　again。〃　His　face　didn't　change。　His　voice　didn't　change。　〃Thanks　for　the　danc