cw.imarriedadeadman-第18章

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　〃I'll　be　out　there　where　I　said。　Don't　keep　me　waiting　too　long；　or…I'll　simply　have　to　e　in　and　look　you　up　again。〃　His　face　didn't　change。　His　voice　didn't　change。　〃Thanks　for　the　dance；〃　he　said；　as　Bill　arrived。
　He　didn't　let　go　her　wrist；　he　transferred　it　to　Bill's　keeping；　as　though　she　were　something　inanimate；　a　doll；　and　bowed；　and　turned；　and　left　them。
　〃Seen　him　around　a　few　times。　Came　here　stag；　I　guess。〃　Bill　shrugged　in　dismissal。　〃e　on。〃
　〃Not　this　one。　The　one　after。〃
　〃Are　you　all　right？　You　look　pale。〃
　〃It's　the　lights。　I'm　going　in　and　powder。　You　go　and　dance　with　someone　else。〃
　He　grinned　at　her。　〃I　don't　want　to　dance　with　someone　else。〃
　〃Then　you　go　and…and　e　back　for　me。　The　one　after。〃
　〃The　one　after。〃
　She　watched　him　from　just　outside　the　doorway。　He　went　out　front　toward　the　bar。　She　watched　him　go　in　there。　She　watched　him　sit　down　on　one　of　the　tall　stools。　Then　she　turned　and　went　the　other　way。
　She　walked　slowly　over　to　the　doors　leading　outside　onto　the　veranda；　and　stood　in　one　of　them；　looking　out　into　the　fountainpen…ink　blueness　of　the　night。　There　were　wicker　chairs；　in　groups　of　twos　and　threes；　spaced　every　few　yards；　encircling　small　tables。
　The　red　sequin　of　a　cigarette…coal　had　risen　perpendicularly　above　one；　all　the　way　down　at　the　end；　imperiously　summoning　her。　Then　it　shot　over　the　balustrade　laterally；　cast　away　in　impatient　expectancy。
　She　walked　slowly　down　that　way；　with　the　strange　feeling　of　making　a　journey　from　which　there　was　to　be　no　return；　ever。　Her　feet　seemed　to　want　to　take　root；　hold　her　back　of　their　own　volition。
　She　came　to　a　halt　before　him。　He　slung　his　hip　onto　the　balustrade；　and　sat　there　askew；　in　insolent　informality。　He　repeated　what　he'd　said　inside。　〃Who'd　he　say　you　were？〃
　The　stars　were　moving。　They　were　making　peculiar　eddying　swirls　like　blurred　pinwheels　all　over　the　sky。
　〃You　abandoned　me；〃　she　said　with　leashed　fury。　〃You　abandoned　me；　with　five　dollars。　Now　what　do　you　want？〃
　〃Oh；　then　we　have　met　before。　I　thought　we　had。　Glad　you　agree　with　me。〃
　〃Stop　it。　What　do　you　want？〃
　〃What　do　I　want？　I　don't　want　anything。　I'm　a　little　confused；　that's　all。　I'd　like　to　be　straightened　out。　The　man　introduced　you　under　a　mistaken　name　in　there。〃
　〃What　do　you　want？　What　are　you　doing　down　here？〃
　〃Well；　for　that　matter；〃　he　said　with　insolent　urbanity；　〃what　are　you　doing　yourself　down　here？〃
　She　repeated　it　a　third　time。　〃What　do　you　want？〃
　〃Can't　a　man　show　interest　in　his　ex…protégée　and　child？　There's　no　way　of　making　children　ex；　you　know。〃
　〃You're　either　insane　or…〃
　〃You　know　that　isn't　so。　You　wish　it　were；〃　he　said　brutally。
　She　turned　on　her　heel。　His　hand　found　her　wrist　again；　flicked　around　it　like　a　whip。　Cutting　just　as　deeply。
　〃Don't　go　inside　yet。　We　haven't　finished。〃
　She　stopped；　her　back　to　him　now。　〃I　think　we　have。〃
　〃The　decision　is　mine。〃
　He　let　go　of　her；　but　she　stayed　there　where　she　was。　She　heard　him　light　another　cigarette；　saw　the　momentary　reflection　from　behind　her　own　shoulder。
　He　spoke　at　last；　voice　thick　with　expelled　smoke。　〃You　still　haven't　cleared　things　up；〃　he　purred。　〃I'm　as　mixed…up　as　ever。　This　Hugh　Hazzard　married…er…let's　say　you；　his　wife；　in　Paris；　a　year　ago　last　June　fifteenth。　I　went　to　considerable　expense　and　trouble　to　have　the　exact　date　on　the　records　there　verified。　But　a　year　ago　last　June　fifteenth　you　and　I　were　living　in　our　little　furnished　room　in　New　York。　I　have　the　receipted　rent…bills　to　show　for　this。　How　could　you　have　been　in　two　such　far…apart　places　at　once？〃　He　sighed　philosophically。　〃Somebody's　got　their　dates　mixed。　Either　he　had。　Or　I　have。〃　And　then　very　slowly；　〃Or　you　have。〃
　She　winced　unavoidably　at　that　Slowly　her　head　came　around；　her　body　still　remaining　turned　from　him。　Like　one　who　listens　hypnotized；　against　her　will。
　〃It　was　you　who's　been　sending　those…？〃
　He　nodded　with　mock　affability；　as　if　on　being　plimented　on　something　praiseworthy。　〃I　thought　it　would　be　kinder　to　break　it　to　you　gently。〃
　She　drew　in　her　breath　with　an　icy　shudder　of　repugnance。
　〃I　first　happened　on　your　name　among　the　train…casualties；　when　I　was　up　in　New　York；〃　he　said。　He　paused。　〃I　went　down　there　and　'identified'　you；　you　know；〃　he　went　on　matter…of…factly。　〃You　have　that　much　to　thank　me　for；　at　any　rate。〃
　He　puffed　thoughtfully　on　his　cigarette。
　〃Then　I　heard　one　thing　and　another；　and　put　two　and　two　together。　I　went　back　for　awhile　first…got　the　rent…receipts　together　and　one　thing　and　another…and　then　finally　I　came　on　the　rest　of　the　way　down　here；　out　of　curiosity。　I　became　quite　confused；〃　he　said　ironically；　〃when　I　learned　the　rest　of　the　story。〃
　He　waited。　She　didn't　say　anything。　He　seemed　to　take　pity　on　her　finally。　〃I　know；〃　he　said　indulgently；　〃this　isn't　the　time　nor　place　to…talk　over　old　times。　This　is　a　party；　and　you're　anxious　to　get　back　and　enjoy　yourself。〃
　She　shivered。
　〃Is　there　anywhere　I　can　reach　you？〃
　He　took　out　a　notebook；　clicked　a　lighter。　She　mistakenly　thought　he　was　waiting　to　write　at　her　dictate。　Her　lips　remained　frozen。
　〃Seneca　382；〃　he　read　from　the　notebook。　He　put　it　away　again。　His　hand　made　a　lazy　curve　between　them。　In　the　stricken　silence　that　followed　he　suggested　after　awhile；　casually：　〃Lean　up　against　that　chair　so　you　don't　fall；　you　don't　seem　very　steady　on　your　feet；　and　I　don't　want　to　have　to　carry　you　bodily　inside　in　front　of　all　those　people。〃
　She　put　her　hands　to　the　top　of　the　chair…back　and　stood　quiet；　head　inclined。
　The　rose…amber　haze　in　the　open　doorway　down　at　the　center　of　the　terrace　blotted　out　for　a　moment；　and　Bill　was　standing　there　looking　for　her。
　〃Patrice；　this　is　our　dance。〃
　Georgesson　rose　for　a　second　from　the　balustrade　in　sketchy　etiquette；　immediately　sank　back　against　it。
　She　made　her　way　toward　him；　the　blue　pall　of　the　terrace　covering　her　uncertainty　of　step；　and　went　inside　with　him。　His　arms　took　charge　of　her　from　that　point　on；　so　that　she　no　longer　had　to　be　on　her　own。
　〃You　were　both　standing　there　like　statues；〃　he　said。　〃He　can't　be　very　good　pany。〃
　She　lurched　against　him　in　the　tendril…like　twists　of　the　rumba；　her　head　dropped　to　rest　on　his　shoulder。
　〃He　isn't　very　good　pany；〃　she　agreed　sickly。
　
　
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　The　phone…call　came　at　a　fiendishly　unpropitious　moment。
　He'd　timed　it　well。　He　couldn't　have　timed　it　better　if　he'd　been　able　to　look　through　the　walls　of　the　house　and　watch　their　movements　on　the　inside。　The　two　men　in　the　family　were　out。　She'd　just　finished　putting　Hughie　to　sleep。　She　and　Mother　Hazzard　were　both　up　on　the　second　floor；　separately。　Which　meant　that　she　was　the　only　one　fully　eligible　to　answer。
　She　knew　at　the　first　instant　of　hearing　it　who　it　was；　what　it　was。　She　knew　too；　that　she'd　been　expecting　it　all　day；　that　she'd　known　it　was　ing；　it　was　surely　ing。
　She　stood　there　rooted；　unable　to　move。　Maybe　it　would　stop　if　she　didn't　go　near　it；　maybe　he　would　tire。　But　then　it　would　ring　again　some　other　time。
　Mother　Hazzard　opened　the　door　of　her　room　and　looked　out。
　Patrice　had　swiftly　opened　her　own　door；　was　at　the　head　of　the　stairs；　before　she'd　fully　emerged。
　〃I'll　get　it　on　this　phone；　dear；　if　you're　busy。〃
　〃No；　never　mind；　Mother；　I　was　just　going　downstairs；　anyway；　so　I'll　answer　it　there。〃
　She　knew　his　voice　right　away。　She　hadn't　heard　it　for　over　two　years；　until　just　last　night；　and　yet　it　was　again　as　familiar　to　her　as　if　she'd　been　hearing　it　steadily　for　months　past。　Fear　quickens　the　memory。
　He　was　as　pleasantly　aloof　at　first　as　any　casual　caller　on　the　telephone。　〃Is　this　the　younger　Mrs。　Hazzard？　Is　this　Patrice　Hazzard？〃
　〃This　is　she。〃
　〃I　suppose　you　know；　this　is　Georgesson。〃
　She　did　know；　but　she　didn't　answer　that。
　〃Are　you…where　you　can　be　heard？〃
　〃I'm　not　in　the　habit　of　answering　questions　like　that。　I'll　hang　up　the　receiver。〃
　Nothing　could　seem　to　make　him　lose　his　equanimity。　〃Don't　do　that；　Patrice；〃　he　said　urbanely。　〃I'll　ring　back　again。　That'll　make　it　worse。　They'll　begin　wondering　who　it　is　keeps　on　calling　so　repeatedly。　Or；　eventually；　someone　else　will　answer…you　can't　stay　there　by　the　phone　all　evening…and　I'll　give　my　name　if　I　have　to　and　ask　for　you。〃　He　waited　a　minute　for　this　to　sink　in。　〃Don't　you　see；　it's　better　for　you　this　way。〃
　She　sighed　a　little；　in　suppressed　fury。
　〃We　can't　talk　very　much　over　the　phone。　I　think　it's　better　not　to；　anyway。　I'm　talking　from　McClellan's　Drugstore；　a　few　blocks　from　you。　My　car's　just　around　the　corner　from　there；　where　it　can't　be　seen。　On　the　left　side　of　Pomeroy　Street；　just　down　from　the　crossing。　Can　you　walk　down　that　far　for　five　or　ten　minutes？　I　won't　keep　you　long。〃
　She　tried　to　match　the　brittle　formality　of　his　voice　with　her　own。　〃I　most　certainly　can　not。〃
　〃Of　course　you　can。　You　need　cod…liver…oil　capsules　for　your　baby；　from　McClellan's。　Or　you　feel　like　a　soda；　for　yourself。　I've　seen　you　stop　in　there　more　than　once；　in　the　evening。〃
　He　waited。
　〃Shall　I　call　back？　Would　you　rather　think　it　over　awhile？〃
　He　waited　again。
　〃Don't　do　that；〃　she　said　reluctantly；　at　last。
　She　could　tell　he　understood：　her　meaning　had　been　a　positive　and　not　a　negative　one。
　She　hung　up。
　She　went　upstairs　again。
　Mother　Hazzard　didn't　ask　her。　They　weren't　inquisitive　that　way；　in　this　house。　But　the　door　of　her　room　was　open。　Patrice　couldn't　bring　herself　to　reenter　her　own　without　at　least　a　passing　reference。　Guilty　conscience；　this　Soon？　she　wondered　bitingly。
　〃That　was　a　Steve　Georgesson；　Mother；〃　she　called　in。　〃Bill　and　I　ran　into　him　there　last　night　He　wanted　to　know　how　we'd　enjoyed　ourselves。〃
　〃Well；　that　was　real　thoughtful　of　him；　wasn't　it？〃　Then　she　added；　〃He　must　be　a　decent　sort；　to　do　that。〃
　Decent；　Patrice　thought　dismally；　easing　the　door　closed　after　her。
　She　came　out　of　her　room　again　in　about　ten　minutes'　time。　Mother　Hazzard's　door　was　closed　now。　She　could　have　gone　on　down　the　stairs　unquestioned。　Again　she　couldn't　do　it。
　She　went　over　and　knocked　lightly；　to　attract　attention。
　〃Mother；　I'm　going　to　take　a　walk　down　to　the　drugstore　and　back。　Hughie's　out　of　his　talc。　And　I'd　like　a　breath　of　air。　I'll　be　back　in　five　minutes。〃
　〃Go　ahead；　dear。　I'll　say　goodnight　to　you　now；　in　case　I'm　asleep　by　the　time　you're　in　again。〃
　She　rested　her　outstretched　hand　helplessly　against　the　door　for　a　minute。　She　felt　like　saying；　Mother；　don't　let　me　go。　Forbid　me。　Keep　me　here。
　She　turned　away　and　went　down　the　stairs。　It　was　her　own　battle；　and　no　proxies　were　allowed。
　She　stopped　beside　the　car；　on　darkened　Pomeroy　Street。
　〃Sit　in　here；　Patrice；〃　he　said　amiably。　He　unlatched　the　door　for　her；　from　where　he　sat；　and　even　palmed　the　leather　cushion　patronizingly。
　She　settled　herself　on　the　far　side　of　the　seat。　Her　eyes　snapped　refusal　of　the　cigarette　he　was　trying　to　offer　her。
　〃We　can　be　seen。〃

　〃Turn　this　way；　toward　me。　No　one'！！　notice　you。　Keep　your　back　to　the　street。〃
　〃This　can't　go　on。　Now　once　and　for　all；　for　the　first　time　and　the　last；　what　is　it　you　want　of　me；　what　is　this　about？