lh.narcissusinchains-第33章

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and　came　up　with　my　cell　phone　from　my　pile　of　clothes。　He　handed　the　ringing　phone　to　me。　〃It's　for　you。〃
　Jason　mumbled；　〃God；　what　time　is　it？〃
　I　flipped　the　phone　open　and　put　it　to　my　ear　before　anyone　answered　his　question。　〃Yeah；　it's　me。〃　I　was　only　half　awake。
　〃Anita？〃
　〃Yes；　who　is　this？〃
　〃It's　Rafael。〃
　That　made　me　sit　up。　Rafael　was　the　wererat　king。　Their　equivalent　of　an　Ulfric。　He　was　also　Richard's　ally。　〃I'm　here；　what's　up？〃
　〃First；　my　condolences。　I　hear　you　may　be　Nimir…Ra　in　truth　next　full　moon。〃
　〃Gee；　news　does　travel　fast；〃　I　said；　trying　not　to　sound　bitter；　but　failing。
　〃Second；　I　know　the　pack　has　one　of　your　leopards；　and　that　you　must　try　and　win　him　back　from　them　tonight。　You　are　allowed　to　bring　allies　with　you；　and　I　would　be　honored　if　you　would　allow　the　wererats　to　acpany　you。〃
　〃I　appreciate　the　gesture；　Rafael；　you　don't　know　how　much　I　appreciate　it；　but　I'm　not　lupa　anymore。　Your　treaty　is　with　the　pack；　and　I'm　not　pack　anymore。〃
　〃True；　but　you　risked　yourself　once　to　save　me　from　torture；　and　possible　death。　I　told　you　then　that　the　wererats　would　not　forget　what　you　had　done　for　us。〃
　〃What　about　your　treaty　with　Richard？〃
　〃It's　with　Richard；　not　the　pack。〃
　〃Showing　up　at　my　back　tonight　is　still　a　conflict　of　interests；　don't　you　think？〃
　〃I　don't　think　so。　I　think　it　will　make　the　point　that　if　Richard　is　no　longer　Ulfric；　the　wererats　will　not　be　the　werewolves'　allies。〃
　〃You'll　show　up　with　me　tonight　to　make　it　clear　that　your　treaty　is　with　Richard　and　not　the　pack？〃
　Jason　sat　up　in　the　bed。
　〃Yes；〃　Rafael　said。
　〃Clever　you。〃
　〃Thank　you。〃
　〃So　you　don't　like　Jacob　either？〃
　Jason　moved　closer　to　me；　as　if　he　could　hear　Rafael's　side　of　the　conversation。　Maybe　he　could。
　〃No；〃　Rafael　said。
　〃Me　either。〃
　〃So　I　will　meet　you　at　your　home　tonight　before　we　drive　to　the　lupanar。〃
　〃Just　you？〃　I　made　it　a　question。
　〃Oh；　no；　we　will　be　there　in　force　so　the　point　is　not　lost　on　Jacob's　supporters。〃
　〃I　like　the　way　you　think；〃　I　said。
　〃I　wish　Richard　did；〃　Rafael　said。
　〃Have　you　tried　to　get　him　to　execute　Jacob；　too？〃　I　asked。
　〃I　knew　you　would　understand　both　the　problem　and　the　needed　solution；　Anita。〃
　〃Oh；　I　understand。　I　just　wish　Richard　did。〃
　〃Yes；〃　Rafael　said；　〃yes。　Jacob　is　not　the　man　Richard　is；　but　he　has　some　qualities　that　I　would　wish　on　Richard　if　I　could。〃
　〃Me　too。〃
　〃I'll　meet　you　tonight　at　your　house　at　full　dark。〃
　〃I'll　be　there。　And　Rafael　。。。　〃
　〃Yes？〃
　〃Thanks。〃
　〃No　thanks　are　necessary。　The　rats　owe　you　a　debt。　We　pay　our　debts。〃
　〃And　it　allows　you　to　make　a　threat　to　Jacob　and　his　supporters　without　doing　anything　that　could　start　a　war；〃　I　said。
　〃As　I　said；　Anita；　you　understand　things　that　Richard　does　not。　Until　tonight。〃
　〃Until　tonight；〃　I　said。　He　hung　up。　I　hung　up；　flipping　the　phone　closed。　Jason　was　practically　leaning　over　my　shoulder。
　〃Did　I　just　hear　that　Rafael　and　the　wererats　are　going　with　you　tonight　to　the　lupanar？〃
　〃You　going　to　tattle　to　Richard？〃　I　asked；　staring　at　his　face　from　inches　away；　his　back　touching　my　shoulder。
　〃No。〃
　My　eyes　widened。
　〃Unless　Richard　specifically　asks；　'Is　Rafael　going　to　be　there　tonight　as　Anita's　ally？'　then　I　don't　have　to　answer。　And　I'm　not　volunteering　the　information。〃
　〃That's　cutting　your　oath　of　obedience　pretty　close；　isn't　it？〃
　〃My　loyalty　is　to　Richard。　And　having　the　rats　with　you　tonight　will　help　Richard；　not　hurt　him。〃
　I　nodded。　〃Sometimes　you　have　to　keep　things　from　Richard　to　help　him。〃
　〃Unfortunately；〃　Jason　said。
　I　handed　the　phone　to　Nathaniel；　who　put　it　back　on　the　floor　with　my　clothes。　I　checked　my　watch。　It　was　ten　o'clock；　we'd　had　a　little　over　six　hours　of　sleep。　Time　to　start　the　day。　Yippee！　It　was　still　hours　before　I　could　expect　Jean…Claude　to　be　awake。
　I　snuggled　down　into　the　covers　on　my　back。　Nathaniel　rolled　onto　his　side；　hand　going　across　my　stomach；　one　leg　entwined　over　my　legs。　His　second　favorite　sleeping　position；　though　one　I　often　had　to　move　him　out　of　before　I　could　go　to　sleep。　But　I　wasn't　sleeping；　I　was　thinking；　so　it　was　okay。
　He　rubbed　his　cheek　against　my　shoulder；　and　a　small　movement　of　his　lower　body　pressed　him　against　me。　He　was　hard　and　firm　under　the　silky　shorts。　It　was　morning；　he　was　male；　it　was　normal。　Normally；　I　could　ignore　it；　just　one　of　those　things　that　you　pretended　didn't　happen；　but　today　。。。　Today　the　feel　of　him　pressed　against　me　made　things　low　in　my　body　clench　tight。　The　need　rode　through　my　body　like　fire　spilling　through　me；　over　me；　inside　me。
　Nathaniel　went　very　still　beside　me。
　Jason　was　sitting　up；　rubbing　his　bare　arms。　〃What　was　that？〃
　I　tried　not　to　move；　not　to　breathe；　to　just　be　as　still　as　Nathaniel。　I　tried　to　think　of　something　besides　the　warmth　of　his　body　pressed　against　the　length　of　mine。　Tried　not　to　feel　the　press　of　him　hard　and　ready　through　the　satin　of　the　jogging　shorts。　I　grabbed　the　sheet　and　jerked　it　off　of　us　in　one　violent　movement。　I　gazed　down　the　length　of　his　body；　of　our　bodies；　pressed　together。　The　shorts　clung　like　a　second　skin　to　the　back　of　him。　The　ardeur　rushed　through　me　again　like　a　new　pulse　I'd　never　felt　before；　and　my　beast　rose　up　through　the　depths　with　it。　It　was　as　if　they　were　tied　together。　I　hungered；　and　my　beast　woke；　rolling　inside　me　like　a　lazy　cat；　stretching；　eyeing　the　mouse。　Except　what　this　cat　wanted　to　do　to　the　mouse　was　not　only　against　the　laws　of　nature；　but　physically　impossible。　The　trouble　was　this　mouse　smelled　of　vanilla　and　fur；　and　he　was　warm　and　full　against　me。　I　wanted　to　roll　him　over　on　his　back　and　tear　off　the　shorts　and　see　what　I　was　feeling。　I　wanted　to　lick　down　his　chest；　down　his　stomach；　and　。。。　The　visual　was　so　strong　that　I　had　to　close　my　eyes　against　the　sight　of　him　lying　there。　But　sight　wasn't　my　only　problem。　The　smell　of　his　skin　was　suddenly　overwhelming；　sweet。　And　I　had　a　desire　to　roll　my　body　on　top　of　his；　not　for　sex　exactly；　but　to　paint　his　scent　on　my　body；　to　wear　it　like　a　dress。
　〃Anita；〃　it　was　Jason。　〃What's　happening？〃
　I　opened　my　eyes　to　find　him　bending　over　me；　propped　on　one　elbow；　and　the　ardeur　widened　to　include　him。　It　did　not　discriminate。　I　touched　his　face；　ran　my　fingers　down　the　edge　of　his　cheek；　traced　the　fullness　of　his　lower　lip　with　my　thumb。
　He　moved　his　mouth　back　just　enough　to　speak。　〃Jean…Claude　said　you'd　inherited　his　need；　his　incubus。　I　don't　think　I　believed　him　。。。　〃　My　hand　traced　down　his　face；　his　neck；　his　chest。　〃　。。。　until　now；〃　he　whispered。
　My　hand　stopped　over　his　heart。　It　beat　against　my　hand；　and　I　could　suddenly　feel　my　pulse　in　my　palm　beating　against　his　skin；　as　if　my　heart　had　spilled　down　my　arm　to　cup　against　his　body。
　〃Ask　me　why　Jean…Claude　insisted　I　stay　in　here　today。〃
　I　just　looked　at　him。　I　couldn't　think；　couldn't　speak。　I　could　feel　his　heart；　almost　caress　it。　His　heart　sped；　beating　faster。　My　heart　sped　to　catch　it；　until　our　hearts　were　beating　together；　and　it　was　hard　to　tell　where　one　pulse　stopped　and　the　other　began。　I　could　taste　his　heartbeat　in　my　mouth　as　if　it　pulsed　inside　me　already；　caressing　the　roof　of　my　mouth　as　if　I　had　already　taken　a　bite　of　him。
　I　closed　my　eyes　and　tried　to　distance　myself　from　the　ebb　and　flow　of　his　body；　his　warmth；　his　need。
　〃Jean…Claude　was　afraid　you'd　try　to　feed　on　Nathaniel。　I'm　supposed　to　keep　that　from　happening。〃　His　voice　was　breathy。
　I　raised　up；　and　Nathaniel's　arms　curled　around　my　waist；　pressing　his　face　into　my　side。　I　sat　up　beside　Jason　with　Nathaniel　like　a　tempting　weight　wrapped　around　my　body。　My　hand　stayed　on　Jason's　chest；　cupping　his　heart。　He　should　have　moved　away；　but　he　didn't。　I　could　feel　his　desire；　feel　the　need　in　him。　It　was　a　pure　desire；　not　for　power；　or　anything　else；　just　simply　for　me。　It　wasn't　love；　but　it　was　purity　of　a　sort。　He　simply　wanted　me。　I　stared　into　his　blue　eyes；　and　there　was　no　deceit；　no　agenda。　Jason　didn't　want　to　secure　his　power　base；　or　gain　mystical　energy；　he　just　wanted　to　have　sex　with　me；　to　hold　me　in　his　arms。
　I'd　always　treated　Jason　as　lesser　than　a　friend；　young　and　amusing；　not　serious。　Jean…Claude's　ardeur　let　me　see　into　his　heart；　and　I　found　it　the　most　pure　of　any　that　I'd　looked　into　in　a　long　time。
　I　stared　down　at　Nathaniel　where　he　lay　clinging　to　me。　I　knew　his　heart；　too。　He　wanted　me　physically；　but　more；　he　wanted　me　to　want　him。　He　wanted　to　belong　to　me　in　every　way。　He　longed　for　safety；　a　home；　someone　to　take　care　of　him；　and　to　take　care　of。　He　saw　in　me　all　the　things　that　he'd　lost　over　the　years。　But　he　didn't　really　see　me；　he　saw　an　ideal　of　me　that　he　wanted。
　I　ran　my　hand　down　his　arm；　and　he　snuggled　against　me。　I　looked　back　at　Jason　and　let　my　other　hand　drop　away　from　him；　but　it　was　like　I　pulled　something　out　of　him　as　it　moved；　his　heart　still　beat　inside　my　body。　We　didn't　have　to　touch　for　that。
　The　fact　that　Jason　wanted　me　just　for　me　with　no　ulterior　motives　made　me　want　to　reward　him。　Made　me　love　him　just　a　little。　It　overrode　the　hunger；　stilled　my　beast；　helped　me　think。
　〃Get　out；　both　of　you；　get　out。〃
　〃Anita；　is　that　you？〃
　〃Go；　Jason；　take　him　with　you；　and　go。〃
　〃I　don't　want　to　go；〃　Nathaniel　said。
　I　grabbed　a　handful　of　that　thick　hair　and　raised　him　to　his　knees　with　it。　I　expected　to　see　fear　in　his　eyes；　or　betrayal；　but　what　I　saw　was　eagerness。　I　used　his　hair　as　a　handle　and　drew　him　to　me　until　our　faces　almost　touched。　I　felt　his　heart　thudding；　the　thrill　through　his　body　as　I　drew　him　into　me。　Nathaniel　would　never　tell　me　no。
　If　someone　can't　tell　you　no；　it's　rape；　or　something　like　it。　The　ardeur　poured　through　me；　taking　my　breath　in　a　long　shuddering　line。　I　wanted　to　kiss　Nathaniel；　to　fill　his　mouth　with　my　tongue。　And　I　knew　if　I　did；　it　would　be　too　late。
　My　voice　came　out　strangled。　〃You　will　go　when　I　tell　you　to　go；　now　get　out！〃　I　released　my　hold　on　him　so　suddenly　that　he　fell　back　against　the　bed。
　Jason　was　on　the　other　side　of　the　bed；　pulling　Nathaniel　away　from　me；　pushing　him　towards　the　door。　Watching　them　go　made　me　want　to　cry；　or　scream。　They　were　perfect　for　feeding。　The　room　was　thick　with　mutual　desire；　and　I　was　sending　them　away。　I　could　still　feel　their　heartbeats　like　candy　in　my　mouth；　like　a　double　echo　of　my　own　heart。
　I　covered　my　eyes　with　my　hands　and　screamed；　wordless；　pain…filled。　It　was　as　if　the　hunger　finally　realized　that　I　was　truly　going　to　let　them　go。　It　raged　through　me；　tearing　one　ragged　scream　from　my　mouth　after　another；　as　fast　as　I　could　draw　breath。　I　lay　on　the　bed　in　the　silk　sheets；　writhing；　screaming。　I　had　a　sudden　memory；　and　it　wasn't　mine；　of　this　need　denied；　locked　away　in　the　dark　where　no　hand　could　touch　you；　where　no　skin　could　melt　into　yours。　I　felt　the　faintest　edge　of　Jean…Claude's　madness　after　that　particular　punishment。　He'd　healed；　but　the　memory　was　still　raw。
　Hands　on　me；　holding　me　down。　I　opened　my　eyes　to　find　Nathaniel　and　Jason　holding　me　down。　They　each　had　a　hand　on　one　wrist　and　one　leg。　They　could　bench　press　small　elephants；　but　as　my　body　writhed　against　the　bed；　I　raised　them　up；