lh.narcissusinchains-第85章

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s　a　fucking　casualty　waiting　to　happen。　I　was　civilized　enough　to　give　him　protection　when　he　asked；　but　not　civilized　enough　to　pay　in　the　blood　of　those　I　held　dear。　In　that　moment　I　knew　I　wasn't　a　sociopath；　because　if　I　had　been；　I'd　have　kicked　his　ass　out　the　door。　Oh；　hell；　I'd　have　shot　him　and　put　him　out　of　everyone's　misery。　Instead　I　offered　him　a　hand；　and　pulled　him　to　his　feet。
　〃Do　you　understand　the　rules？〃　I　asked。
　〃I　understand；〃　he　whispered。
　〃You　willing　to　live　by　them？〃
　He　gave　one　small　nod。
　〃You　willing　to　die　by　them？〃
　He　took　a　shaky　breath；　then　gave　another　nod。
　I　smiled　and　knew　it　never　reached　my　eyes。　〃Then　wele　to　the　club；　and　keep　your　head　down。　There's　some　business　we　have　to　take　care　of　tonight。　You　can　e　along。〃　Even　I　wasn't　sure　if　that　was　an　invitation　or　a　threat。
　
　47
　
　THERE　WAS　STILL　a　thread　of　light　in　the　sky；　like　a　slender　golden　ribbon；　glowing　against　the　push　of　dark；　dark　clouds　when　we　parked　in　the　back　of　the　Circus　of　the　Damned。　The　back　parking　lot　was　for　employees。　It　was　dark；　bare；　not　the　least　bit　entertaining；　unlike　the　front；　which　was　like　a　carnival。　I'd　driven　past　the　bright　lights　and　dramatic　posters　without　a　second　glance。
　〃Did　the　clowns　up　front　have　fangs？〃　Caleb　asked。
　It　wasn't　until　he　asked　that　that　I　realized　that　none　of　them　had　ever　been　to　the　Circus。　I　undid　my　seat　belt　and　leaned　around　so　I　could　see　him　in　the　middle　section　of　seats。　He　was　sitting　pressed　against　the　door　with　Merle's　broad　shoulders　crowding　him。　Nathaniel　was　on　the　other　side　of　Merle。　Cherry　and　Zane　were　in　the　back　seats　with　Gil。　Micah　was　sitting　up　front　with　me。　Until　we　knew　my　house　wasn't　a　free…fire　zone　we'd　keep　everybody　together。　Rafael　had　sent　two　new　bodyguards　over；　but　they'd　arrived　just　as　we　were　leaving；　and　I　wouldn't　make　anyone　in　the　Jeep　move。　They　followed　us；　not　happy；　but　taking　orders；　which　was　good。
　I　answered　Caleb's　question。　〃Yeah；　the　big　spinning　clowns　on　top　of　the　sign　have　fangs。〃
　〃I　saw　a　poster　for　zombie　raisings。　Do　you　do　that？〃　Merle　asked。
　I　shook　my　head。　〃I　don't　believe　in　using　God…given　gifts　for　entertainment　purposes。〃
　〃I　didn't　mean　to　insult　you；〃　he　said。
　I　shrugged。　〃Sorry；　I'm　a　little　touchy　about　shit　like　that。　I　don't　approve　of　a　lot　of　things　some　of　my　fellow　animators　do　for　money。〃
　〃You　raise　the　dead　for　money；〃　Caleb　said。
　I　nodded。　〃Yeah；　but　I've　turned　down　more　money　than　I've　taken。〃
　〃Turned　down；　why？〃　he　asked。
　I　shrugged。　〃Local　money　who　wanted　to　have　his　Halloween　party　in　a　cemetery　so　I　could　raise　zombies　at　midnight。　Or　the　guy　that　had　offered　a　million　if　I　could　raise　Marilyn　Monroe　and　guarantee　that　she'd　do　anything　he　asked　for　a　night。〃　I　shuddered。　〃I　told　that　one　if　I　even　heard　a　rumor　that　he'd　gotten　someone　to　do　the　job；　I'd　see　his　ass　in　prison。〃
　Caleb's　eyes　were　a　little　wide。　I　think　I'd　shocked　him。　Good　to　know　that　I　could。　〃You're　deeply　moral；〃　Merle　said；　a　tone　in　his　voice　like　he　was　surprised。
　〃My　own　version　of　it；　yeah。〃
　〃You　hold　to　your　own　rules　no　matter　what？〃　Merle　made　it　a　question。
　I　nodded。　〃Most　of　the　time。〃
　〃What　will　make　you　break　your　own　moral　code？〃
　〃Harm　to　my　people；　survival；　the　usual。〃
　Merle's　eyes　flicked　to　Micah；　sitting　beside　me。　It　was　a　small　movement。　If　I　hadn't　been　looking　directly　at　him；　I'd　have　missed　it。
　〃What？〃　I　asked；　glancing　from　one　to　the　other。
　Merle　answered；　〃You　sound　like　Micah。〃
　〃You　make　that　sound　like　a　bad　thing；〃　I　said。
　He　shook　his　head。　〃Not　a　bad　thing；　Anita；　not　a　bad　thing　at　all；　just　unexpected。〃
　〃You　still　don't　sound　entirely　happy　about　it；〃　I　said。
　〃Merle　worries　too　much；〃　Micah　said。
　I　glanced　at　him；　but　he　was　watching　the　big　man。　Micah　had　tied　his　hair　back　while　it　was　still　wet；　so　that　it　lay　flat　to　his　head；　utterly　straight　until　it　spilled　out　into　the　long　ponytail；　where　the　curls　spilled　like　froth　along　his　spine。　His　hair　lay　like　brown　velvet　against　the　charcoal　gray　of　his　shirt。
　〃What　does　Merle　worry　about？〃　I　asked。
　〃Taking　care　of　me；　mostly；　and　now；　I　think；　you。〃
　I　looked　at　the　big　man。　〃Is　that　what　you're　worrying　about？〃
　〃Something　like　that；〃　Merle　said。　He'd　put　a　clean　white　T…shirt　underneath　his　jean　jacket；　but　other　than　that；　he　was　wearing　an　identical　outfit　to　the　first　one　I'd　ever　seen　him　in。　If　he'd　been　wearing　more　leather；　he'd　have　looked　like　an　aging　biker。
　Micah　turned　towards　me。　His　shirt　made　that　rich；　slithery　sound　that　silk　makes　against　leather　seats。　The　dark　gray　shirt　was　short…sleeved；　button…up；　dressy。　The　color　brought　out　the　gold…green　of　his　eyes；　made　his　skin　look　even　darker。　He'd　matched　the　shirt　with　black　jeans；　black　belt；　silver　buckle；　soft　black　tie…up　shoes。　It　occurred　to　me　for　the　first　time　that　he　looked　like　he'd　dressed　for　a　date。　Had　he　dressed　to　impress　me　or　Jean…Claude？　It　was　a　semiformal　occasion　for　any　alpha　to　meet　the　Master　of　the　City。　But　especially　one　that　was　fucking　the　Master's　human　servant。　I　just　wasn't　sure　how　to　handle　the　whole　situation。　Jean…Claude　had　taken　Micah　in　stride　in　theory；　but　how　would　he　react　to　seeing　him　in　the　flesh？　How　would　Micah　react　to　seeing　Jean…Claude？
　Damn　it；　I　had　enough　to　worry　about　without　having　to　juggle　male　egos。
　〃You're　frowning　again；〃　Micah　said。
　I　shook　my　head。　〃It's　nothing。　Let's　get　this　over　with。〃
　〃Why　do　you　sound　less　than　thrilled？〃
　I　had　my　door　open　and　turned　back　around　to　say；　〃We're　here　to　rescue　Damian。　I　don't　know　what　shape　he's　going　to　be　in。　Why　would　I　be　thrilled？〃
　〃I　know　you're　worried　about　your　friend；　but　are　you　sure　that　that's　really　what's　bothering　you？〃
　I　frowned　at　him。　〃What　are　you　talking　about？〃
　〃I'm　nervous　about　meeting　the　Master　of　the　City；　too。〃
　It　was　almost　like　he'd　read　my　mind。　We　didn't　know　each　other　well　enough　for　him　to　really　read　me；　but　。。。　he　was　either　telepathic；　which　I　didn't　believe；　or　he　could　read　me　that　well。　I　wasn't　sure　which　thought　bothered　me　more。
　I　let　out　a　breath　and　half　slumped　in　the　seat。　〃Yeah；　I'm　a　little　nervous　about　introducing　you　to　Jean…Claude。　He　was　cool　about　you　in　the　abstract；　even　knowing　that　we've　been　together；　but　seeing　you　in　the　flesh　。。。　〃　I　tried　to　think　how　to　word　it。　〃I　don't　know　how　he'll　feel　about　that。〃
　〃Will　it　make　you　feel　any　better　if　I　promise　to　behave　myself？〃
　〃Maybe；　if　you　can　pull　it　off。〃
　〃I　can　pull　it　off；〃　he　said；　giving　me　very　serious　eye　contact。　He　certainly　vibrated　sincerity。
　〃Don't　take　this　wrong；　Micah；　but　I've　been　disappointed　pretty　badly　recently　by　the　men　in　my　life。　It's　a　little　hard　to　trust　that　anyone　can　pull　it　off。〃
　He　reached　out　to　touch　me；　then　let　his　hand　fall　back；　as　if　something　in　my　face　hadn't　been　friendly。　〃I'll　do　my　best　tonight；　Anita；　that　I　can　promise。〃
　I　sighed。　〃I　believe　you。〃
　〃But；〃　he　said。
　I　had　to　smile。　〃Your　intentions　are　good；　my　intentions　are　good；　Jean…Claude's　intentions　are　probably　good。〃　I　shrugged。　〃You　know　what　they　say　about　good　intentions。〃
　〃My　best　is　all　I　can　offer；〃　he　said。
　〃And　it's　all　I　can　ask；　but　let's　say　I'm　not　exactly　sure　how　to　handle　this。　I'd　barely　gotten　to　where　I　could　deal　with　Richard　and　Jean…Claude　at　the　same　time；　and　now　here　you　are。　I　just　don't　know。〃
　〃I　can　go　back　to　your　house；〃　he　said。
　〃No；　Jean…Claude　asked　to　meet　you。〃
　Micah　looked　at　me。　〃And　that　makes　you　nervous。〃
　I　half…laughed。　〃Oh；　yeah。〃
　〃Why？〃
　〃If　Jean…Claude　were　having　sex　with　someone　else；　I　wouldn't　want　to　meet　them。〃
　Micah　shrugged。　〃Do　you　think　he　means　me　harm？〃
　〃No；〃　I　said；　〃no；　nothing　like　that。〃　I　tried　to　put　it　into　words　and　couldn't。　Maybe　it　was　just　my　lack　of　sophistication。　How　do　you　introduce　boyfriend　C　to　boyfriend　A；　after　boyfriend　A　has　been　such　a　good　sport；　of　late；　about　boyfriend　B；　who　is　no　longer　in　the　picture？　Or　maybe　it　was　the　way　Jean…Claude　had　asked　for　him。　〃Bring　your　Nimir…Raj；　ma　petite；　I　would　like　to　meet　him。〃
　〃Why？〃　I'd　asked。
　〃Am　I　not　entitled　to　meet　the　other　man　in　your　bed？〃
　It　had　made　me　blush。　But　here　Micah　was；　and　here　we　were　outside　the　Circus。　Jean…Claude　was　inside；　waiting。　I　was　actually　more　scared　about　introducing　the　two　of　them　than　I　was　worried　about　Damian。　If　Jean…Claude　didn't　try　and　kill　Micah；　then　I'd　worry　about　Damian。　I　was　ninety…nine　percent　sure　that　Jean…Claude　wouldn't　start　a　fight。　It　was　the　last　one　percent　that　clenched　my　gut　into　a　tight　knot　as　we　moved　out　into　the　darkness。
　The　two　new　bodyguards　came　up　to　flank　me　as　I　walked　towards　the　back　door。　They　were　both　over　six　feet；　male；　and　radiated　bodyguard　badass。　Other　than　that　they　were　almost　opposites。　Cris　（no　h；　it's　short　for　Cristiano）　was　mid…twenty…something；　skin　tanned　a　soft　gold；　eyes　a　pale　shade　of　gray　blue。　His　hair　was　that　shade　of　pale　brown　that　some　people　call　blond。　Bobby　Lee　was　over　forty；　very　short　hair；　gone　white　gray；　eyebrows　still　black　above　startling　blue　eyes；　like　bits　of　water…blue　sapphires。　He　had　a　neatly　trimmed　mustache　and　beard　that　were　also　black；　with　the　first　streaks　of　white　and　gray　running　through　them。
　Cris　had　no　accent　whatsoever；　but　Bobby　Lee's　voice　was　thick　as　hominy；　and　twice　as　Southern。
　Nathaniel　tried　to　stand　next　to　me；　and　Cris　moved　to　keep　him　away。　〃He's　with　me；〃　I　said。
　〃We　were　ordered　to　keep　you　safe。　I　don't　know　him。〃
　〃Look；　both　of　you；　we　don't　have　time　for　major　introductions　here。　He's　one　of　my　wereleopards；　so　are　the　two　blonds。　Micah's　the　one　with　the　ponytail；　the　two　men　with　him　his　leopards。〃
　〃Who's　the　redhead？〃　Bobby　Lee　asked。
　〃Gil；　he's　a　werefox；　and　he's　under　my　protection；　too。〃
　〃They're　like　walking　cannon　fodder；〃　Cris　said。
　I　frowned　up　at　him。　〃Most　of　this　cannon　fodder　are　friends；　or　more；　to　me。　If　the　shit　hits　the　fan　and　you　save　me　at　the　expense　of　their　lives；　you　will　follow　them。〃
　〃Our　orders　are　to　keep　you　safe；　ma'am；　no　one　else；〃　Bobby　Lee　said。
　I　shook　my　head　and　drew　Nathaniel　into　the　crook　of　my　arm。　〃What　would　Rafael　do　if　you　protected　him　but　got　his　people　slaughtered？〃
　They　glanced　at　each　other。　Bobby　Lee　finally　spoke。　〃It　would　depend　on　the　situation。〃
　〃Yeah；　maybe；　but　I'm　armed；　and　can　take　care　of　myself　most　of　the　time。　I　need　backup；　not　interference。〃
　〃We　weren't　told　to　be　backup；〃　Bobby　Lee　said。
　〃I　know；　but　tonight　there　may　be　a　certain　amount　of　grandstanding。　Jean…Claude　won't　let　me　get　hurt；　but　he　might　play　with　some　of　the　others；　even　me。　Don't　overreact；　okay？〃
　〃You're　making　it　so　we　can't　do　our　job；〃　Cris　said。
　I　shrugged；　hugging　Nathaniel　to　me。　〃I　appreciate　you　being　here。　I　appreciate　the　help。　I　might　be　dead　right　now　if　Igor　and　Claudia　hadn't　been　with　me。　But　there　are　people　who　I　would　risk　my　life　to　keep　safe；　and　some　of　them　are　with　me　tonight。　All　I'm　saying　is　keep　cool；　don't　overreact；　don't　jump　the　gun。〃
　Again　they　looked　at　each　other。　I　sighed。　Bobby　Lee　was　wearing　a　sleeveless　jean　jacket　over　his　T…shirt。　Cris　wore　a　short