lh.narcissusinchains-第91章

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　He　shook　his　head。　〃Not　tonight；　ma　petite。　I　knew　you　would　feel　this　way；　and　we　can　try　and　release　her；　though　I　have　poor　hope　for　it。〃
　〃What's　that　supposed　to　mean？〃
　〃She　was　not　the　most　stable　of　women　when　she　went　in。　This　will　not　have　strengthened　her　grasp　of　reality。〃
　〃How　could　you　have　done　this　to　her？〃
　〃I　told　you　before；　ma　petite；　she　earned　her　punishment。〃
　〃Not　three　years；〃　I　said。　My　voice　was　beginning　to　sound　normal　again。　I　wasn't　going　to　hit　him；　great。
　〃Three　years　for　nearly　killing　you。　I　could　leave　her　in　for　three　more　years；　and　it　would　not　be　punishment　enough。〃
　〃I'm　not　going　to　argue　whether　the　punishment　was　justified　or　excessive；　or　anything。　All　I　can　say　is　that　I　want　her　out　of　there。　I　won't　let　her　stay　in　there　another　night。　There's　barely　anything　left　now。〃
　He　glanced　at　the　coffin。　〃You　have　not　opened　it；　how　do　you　know　what　is　inside？〃
　〃I　wanted　to　know　how　Damian　was。　I　used　a　little　magic　to　explore　what　was　inside　both　coffins。〃
　〃And　what　did　you　discover？〃　he　asked。
　〃That　my　necromancy　recognizes　Damian。　That　Damian　isn't　there。　It's　like　his　personality　is　missing。　Whatever　made　him；　him；　is　missing。〃
　Jean…Claude　nodded。　〃With　the　vampires　that　are　not　master　strength　and　never　will　be；　it　is　often　the　Master　of　the　City；　or　their　creator；　that　enables　them　to　exist　as　strong　presences。　Cut　off　from　that；　they　often　fade。〃
　Fade；　he　called　it；　like　he　was　talking　about　curtains　that　had　been　in　sunlight　too　long；　instead　of　a　living　being。　Well；　a　sort…of…living　being。
　〃Well；　Gretchen　is　way　past　faded。　There's　almost　nothing　left。　We　leave　her　in　even　one　more　night　and　she　may　not　be　there。〃
　〃She　cannot　die。〃
　〃Maybe　not；　but　the　damage　。。。　〃　I　shook　my　head。　〃We　have　to　get　her　out　now；　tonight；　or　we　might　as　well　put　a　bullet　in　her。〃
　〃Leave　Damian　in　for　one　more　night；　and　I　will　agree　to　release　Gretchen。〃
　〃No；〃　I　said。　〃Damian　is　like　one　of　those　feral　vamps。　The　longer　he's　like　this；　the　greater　the　likelihood　that　he'll　never　be　anything　else。〃
　〃Do　you　really　believe　that　one　more　night　will　damage　him　irreparably？〃　Jean…Claude　asked。
　〃I　don't　know；　but　I　know　that　if　I　wait　until　tomorrow　night　to　get　him　out　and　the　damage　is　permanent；　I'll　always　wonder　if　that　one　extra　night　made　the　difference。〃
　〃Then　we　have　a　problem；　ma　petite。　A　hot　bath　is　being　run　now　in　preparation　for　one　released　vampire。　We　only　have　one　place　suitable　here　at　the　Circus　for　such　a　recovery。〃
　〃Why　a　bath？〃　I　asked。
　〃They　must　be　brought　back　to　life；　to　warmth。　The　process　must　be　done　carefully；　or　the　risk　is　one　of　true　death。〃
　〃Wait　a　minute。　A　vamp　can　be　in　the　coffin　locked　away　forever　and　never　die；　but　getting　them　out　can　kill　them？　That　doesn't　make　sense。〃
　〃They　have　adjusted　to　the　coffin；　ma　petite。　To　bring　them　out　after　a　length　of　time　is　a　shock　to　their　system。　I　have　seen　vampires　die　of　it。〃
　I　knew　he　wouldn't　lie；　he　was　too　unhappy　about　having　to　say　it。　〃So　we　throw　them　both　in　the　same　tub；　no　big。〃
　〃But　it　is　a　big；　ma　petite。　The　attention　and　power　needed　to　bring　one　back　must　not　be　divided　between　them。　It　will　take　all　that　I　have　to　bring　one　at　a　time　back。　I　cannot　divide　my　efforts　without　risking　them　both。〃
　〃I　know　that　you　made　Gretchen；　but　you　didn't　make　Damian。　His　ties　to　you　as　Master　of　the　City　broke　when　he　became　mine；　so　you　aren't　his　master　in　any　way。　I　am。〃
　〃Yes；〃　he　said。
　〃Then　isn't　it　my　job　to　bring　Damian　back　　my　mystical　connection　with　him；　not　yours？〃
　〃If　you　were　truly　his　master；　another　vampire；　I　would　agree。　But　you　are；　for　all　your　talents；　still　human。　There　are　things　you　cannot　do　for　him；　and　there　are　many　things　you　will　not　know　to　do　for　him。〃
　〃Like　what？〃
　He　shook　his　head。　〃It　is　a　plex　process；　requiring　specialized　skills。〃
　〃And　you　have　those　skills；〃　I　said。
　〃Do　not　sound　so　skeptical；　ma　petite。　I　was　part　of　our　mistress's　emergency　。。。　crew；〃　he　said。　〃She　would　punish　others　and　we　would　be　left　to　deal　with　the　aftermath。　It　was　often　her　way。〃
　〃We？〃　I　asked。
　〃Asher　and　myself。〃
　〃So　Asher　knows　how　to　do　this；〃　I　said。
　〃Oui；　but　he　is　not　Damian's　master　either。〃
　〃No；　but　I　am。　If　Damian　still　has　one；　I'm　it。　So　you　take　care　of　Gretchen；　you　loan　me　Asher；　and　he　tells　me　what　to　do　for　Damian。〃
　〃After　his　little　display　in　the　other　room；　you　would　trust　him？〃
　〃I'd　trust　him　with　my　life；　and　so　would　you。〃
　〃But　not　our　hearts；〃　Jean…Claude　said。
　〃Why　did　it　bother　him　so　much　to　see　you　with　Micah？〃　I　asked。　〃He's　seen　almost　as　bad　with　Richard；　and　me。〃
　〃I　believe　that　you　as　my　human　servant　and　Richard　as　my　wolf　to　call　were　possessions；　mine　by　right；　and　you　were　already　in　place　when　Asher　arrived　in　St。　Louis。　Micah　is　not　my　animal　to　call。　He　has　no　ties　directly　to　me。　He　is　your　Nimir…Raj；　but　nothing　to　me。〃
　〃And？〃　I　asked。
　〃Asher　was　willing　to　share　me　with　you　and　Richard　because　you　were　mine；　but　this　Nimir…Raj　is　simply　another　man　that　has　my　favor　when　Asher　does　not。〃
　〃Micah　doesn't　have　your　favor；　exactly；　yet。〃
　Jean…Claude　gave　a　small　smile。　〃True；　but　Asher　does　not　see　it　that　way。〃
　〃If　it　weren't　for　my　。。。　social　qualms　would　you　be　doing　Asher　right　now？〃
　He　laughed；　an　abrupt　sound　that　didn't　dance　along　my　body；　it　just　filled　his　face　with　glee。　The　closest　I'd　ever　seen　to　real　laughter　from　him。　〃Social　qualms　　ah；　ma　petite；　that　is　precious。〃
　I　frowned　at　him。　〃Just　answer　the　question。〃
　The　laughter　faded；　almost　like　a　person；　instead　of　that　abrupt　change　he　usually　did。　〃Asher　and　I　would　likely　have　e　to　an　understanding　if　it　would　not　have　cost　me　you；　ma　petite。〃
　〃An　understanding。　Now　who's　being　coy？〃　I　said。
　He　gave　that　Gallic　shrug　that　meant　everything　and　nothing。　〃You　would　not　be　fortable　with　brutal　honesty；　ma　petite。〃
　〃Fine；　if　I　could　have　stomached　it；　would　you　have　taken　Asher　back　as　your　lover　by　now？〃
　He　thought　about　it；　then　finally；　〃I　do　not　know；　ma　petite。〃
　〃I　know　you　love　him。〃
　〃Oui；　but　that　does　not　mean　we　could　be　lovers　again。　When　he　and　I　were　happiest；　it　was　with　Julianna。　You　might　be　able　to　stand　us　as　lovers　out　of　your　sight；　as　long　as　we　did　not　act　like　lovers　in　front　of　you。　I　do　not　think　you　would　like　watching　Asher　and　me　hold　hands　in　front　of　you。〃
　Put　that　way；　he　was　right。　〃What　are　you　saying？〃
　〃I　am　saying　that　Asher　deserves　better　than　a　hidden　relationship　where　we　could　never　show　public　affection　for　fear　of　hurting　you。　I　would　rather　give　him　up　pletely　to　someone　else；　male　or　female；　than　force　him　to　play　second　　or　lower　　to　you　forever。〃
　I　opened　my　mouth　to　say　that　I　liked　Asher；　even　loved　him　in　a　way；　but　I　didn't；　because　I　didn't　want　to　raise　the　possibility　of　a　true　ménage　à　trois。　What　I'd　seen　with　Micah　and　Jean…Claude　had　already　bugged　me　a　lot。　I　just　couldn't　deal　with　two　men　and　me。　Yeah；　yeah；　it　was　the　Midwestern；　middle…class　value　system；　but　it　was　the　way　I　looked　at　the　world。　I　couldn't　change　that；　could　I？　And　if　I　could；　did　I　want　to？
　I　didn't　know。　I　just　didn't　know。　The　fact　that　the　thought　didn't　make　me　run　screaming　into　the　night　bothered　me；　but　not　as　much　as　I　thought　it　should　have。
　
　54
　
　JEAN…CLAUDE　GAVE　JASON　the　keys　to　the　locks　on　the　silver　chains。　He'd　spent　the　last　hour　explaining　everyone's　job。　Jason　would　be　the　appetizer；　oh　sorry；　Gretchen's　first　feeding。　It　couldn't　be　someone　human　because　the　first　feeding　after　being　in　the　box　could　be　quite　。。。　traumatic。　Jean…Claude's　choice　of　words；　not　mine。　So　basically　Jason　got　to　be　point　man　and　take　the　first　damage。　Then　it　was　Jean…Claude's　turn　to　donate　blood。　The　vamp's　master　gave　a　feeding　and　rebound　the　vamp　to　the　blood　oaths　that　connected　them　either　to　the　Master　of　the　City；　their　bloodline；　their　maker；　or；　in　Jean…Claude's　case；　all　three。　All　three　was　better；　the　stronger　the　original　connection；　the　greater　chance　the　vampire　had　of　healing　the　damage。
　That　last　part　made　me　worry　for　Damian。　I　wasn't　his　maker；　I　wasn't　his　bloodline；　or　his　Master　of　the　City。　I　wasn't　sure　exactly　what　I　was　to　him。　To　that　question；　Jean…Claude　had　said；　〃You　are　his　master；　ma　petite。　Whatever　that　means　for　a　necromancer；　that　is　what　you　are　to　him。　If　taking　blood　from　you　doesn't　reconnect　him；　then　Asher　will　try。　Failing　that；　they　will　fetch　me　from　Gretchen。　Damian　must　rebind　his　ties　to　one　of　us；　or　he　is　lost。〃
　〃Define　lost；〃　I　said。
　〃The　madness　may　be　permanent。〃
　〃Shit。〃
　〃Oui。〃
　But　first　Gretchen；　so　that　I　could　see　it　done；　understand　the　process　better。
　Jason　unlocked　the　chains。　They　fell　off　the　coffin　and　clunked　against　the　wood；　a　dull；　harsh　sound。　It　made　me　jump。　Gretchen　had　tried　to　kill　me　when　she　only　thought　I　was　dating　Jean…Claude。　She　might　rise　from　the　coffin　bent　on　killing　me。　I'd　been　her　advocate；　demanding　Jean…Claude　let　her　out。　Now　as　Jason　undid　the　locks　on　the　lid　itself；　my　chest　was　tight；　and　I　had　to　fight　to　keep　my　hand　away　from　my　gun。　It　would　be　stupid　　not　to　mention　ironic　　if　I　had　to　kill　her　the　moment　she　rose。　I　could　just　hear　Jean…Claude's　dry；　And　this　is　an　improvement；　ma　petite？　I　said　a　quick　prayer　that　it　wouldn't　e　to　that。　I　didn't　want　to　kill　her；　I　wanted　to　save　her。　Wanting　to　do　the　last　didn't　mean　I　wouldn't　do　the　first；　but　it　did　mean　I　would　try　to　avoid　it。
　Jason　raised　the　lid；　slowly。　Not　because　it　was　heavy；　but　because；　I　think；　he　was　scared；　too。　The　idea　of　being　Gretchen's　first　meal　had　made　him　laugh；　that　anticipatory　sound　that　is　half　grown…up　male；　and　half　little　boy。　The　sound　that　men　reserve　for　things　that　bine　sex　and　usually　sports；　cars；　technology；　or　danger　　depends　on　your　man。　I'm　sure　there　are　men　out　there　that　would　give　that　purring；　excited　laugh　at　the　thought　of　gardening；　of　poetry；　but　I　haven't　met　them。　Might　be　an　interesting　change；　though。
　The　lid　went　back　in　that　halfway　position　that　coffin　lids　do。　Nothing　moved。　There　was　just　Jason　standing　there　in　his　cutoff　jean　shorts；　bare　back　to　the　room。　Gretchen　didn't　e　bounding　out　and　eat　anybody；　and　I　let　out　a　breath　I　hadn't　known　I　was　holding。
　Jason　stayed　there；　gazing　down；　unmoving；　hands　frozen　on　the　lid。　He　finally　turned　towards　the　rest　of　us；　and　there　was　a　look　on　his　face　that　I'd　never　seen。　It　was　a　mixture　of　horror　and　pity。　His　spring　blue　eyes　were　wide；　and　there　was　a　glitter　of　tears；　I　thought。　Jason　and　Gretchen　hadn't　been　close。　The　reaction　couldn't　be　personal。　What　was　in　that　coffin　to　put　that　look　on　Jason's　face？
　I　was　moving　forward　without　realizing　it。　〃Ma　petite；　do　not　go　closer。〃
　I　looked　at　him。　〃What's　the　matter　with　her？　Why　does　Jason　look　so　。。。　stricken？〃
　Jason　answered；　〃I've　never　seen　anything　like　this。〃
　I　had　to　see　now；　I　had　to。　I　kept　walking　towards　the　coffin。　Jean…Claude　met　me；　blocked　my　path。　〃Please；　ma　petite；　do　not　go　closer。〃
　〃I'm　supposed　to　watch　the　process；　right？　I'm　going　to　have　to　see　what　she　looks　like　sooner　or　later；　Jean…Claude。　Might　as　well　be　sooner。〃
　He