lmb.shardsofhonor-第21章

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　She　set　the　bulk　of　the　ampules　aside；　and　approached　him　with　a　sunny　smile。　Its　effect　was　diminished　by　her　eyes；　large　with　fear。　Bothari's　eyes　were　flickering　slits。　〃modore　Vorkosigan　wants　you　to　rest　now。　He　sent　some　medicine　to　help　you。〃
　He　backed　warily　before　her；　and　she　stopped；　cautious　of　forcing　him　into　a　corner。　〃It's　just　a　sedative；　see？〃
　〃The　beast's　drugs　made　the　demons　drunk。　They　sang　and　shouted。　Bad　medicine。〃
　〃No；　no。　This　is　good　medicine。　It　will　make　the　demons　go　to　sleep；〃　she　promised。　This　was　walking　a　tightrope　in　the　dark。　She　tried　another　tack。
　〃e　to　attention；　soldier；〃　she　said　sharply。　〃Inspection。〃
　It　was　a　wrong　move。　He　batted　the　ampule　nearly　out　of　her　hand　as　she　tried　to　stick　it　in　his　arm；　and　his　hand　closed　around　her　wrist　like　a　hot　iron　band。　Her　breath　hissed　inward　at　the　pain；　but　she　just　managed　to　twist　her　fingers　around　and　press　the　administrative　spray　end　of　the　ampule　against　the　inside　of　his　wrist；　before　he　picked　her　up　bodily　and　flung　her　across　the　room。
　She　landed　on　her　back；　skidding　across　the　friction　matting　with　what　seemed　to　her　a　dreadful　amount　of　noise；　fetching　up　with　a　bang　against　the　door。　Bothari　lunged　after　her。　Can　he　kill　me　before　the　stuff　cuts　in？　she　wondered　wildly；　and　forced　herself　to　go　limp；　as　if　unconscious。　Surely　unconscious　people　were　very　non…threatening。
　Evidently　not　to　Bothari；　for　his　hands　closed　around　her　neck。　One　knee　pressed　into　her　rib　cage；　and　she　felt　something　go　painfully　wrong　in　the　region。　She　popped　her　eyes　open　in　time　to　see　his　eyes　roll　back。　His　hands　slackened　in　their　twisting；　and　he　rolled　off　her　to　his　hands　and　knees；　head　wagging　dizzily；　then　slumped　to　the　deck。
　She　sat　up；　leaning　against　the　wall。　〃I　want　to　go　home；〃　she　muttered。　〃This　wasn't　in　my　job　description。〃　The　feeble　joke　did　nothing　to　dissolve　the　clot　of　hysteria　rising　in　her　throat；　so　she　fell　back　on　an　older　and　more　serious　discipline；　whispering　its　words　aloud。　By　the　time　she　finished　self…control　had　returned。
　She　could　not　lift　Bothari　to　the　bunk。　She　raised　his　heavy　head　and　slipped　the　pillow　under　it；　and　pulled　his　arms　and　legs　into　a　more　fortable…looking　position。　When　Vorkosigan　and　his　shadow　returned　they　could　have　a　go　at　it。
　The　door　opened　at　last；　and　Vorkosigan　and　Illyan　entered；　closing　it　quickly　and　walking　carefully　around　Bothari。
　〃Well？〃　said　Cordelia。　〃How　did　it　go？〃
　〃With　machine…like　precision；　like　a　wormhole　jump　to　hell；〃　Vorkosigan　replied。　He　turned　his　hand　palm　upward　in　a　familiar　gesture　that　caught　her　heart　like　a　hook。
　She　looked　her　puzzlement　at　him。　〃You're　as　baffling　as　Bothari。　How　did　they　take　the　murder？〃
　〃It　went　just　fine。　I'm　under　arrest　and　confined　to　quarters；　for　suspicion　of　conspiracy。　The　Prince　thinks　I　put　Bothari　up　to　it；〃　he　explained。　〃God　knows　how。〃
　〃Uh；　I　know　I'm　very　tired；〃　she　said；　〃and　not　thinking　too　clearly。　But　you　did　say；　'Just　fine？'　〃
　〃modore　Vorkosigan；　sir；〃　interrupted　Illyan。　〃Keep　in　mind　that　I'm　going　to　have　to　report　this　conversation。〃
　〃What　conversation？〃　said　Vorkosigan。　〃You　and　I　are　alone　in　here；　remember？　You're　not　required　to　observe　me　when　I'm　alone；　as　everyone　knows。　They'll　start　wondering　why　you're　lingering　in　here　before　long。〃
　Lieutenant　Illyan　frowned　over　this　Jesuitry。　〃The　Emperor's　intention…〃
　〃Yes？　Tell　me　all　about　the　Emperor's　intention。〃　Vorkosigan　looked　savage。
　'The　Emperor's　intention；　as　municated　to　me；　was　that　you　be　discouraged　from　incriminating　yourself。　I　cannot　edit　my　report；　you　know。〃
　〃That　was　your　argument　four　weeks　ago。　You　saw　the　result。〃
　Illyan　looked　perturbed。
　Vorkosigan　spoke　low　and　controlled。　〃Everything　the　Emperor　requires　of　me　will　be　acplished。　He's　a　great　choreographer；　and　he　shall　have　his　dance　of　dreamers　down　to　the　last　step。〃　Vorkosigan's　hand　closed　in　a　fist；　and　opened　again。　〃I　have　withheld　nothing　that　is　mine　from　his　service。　Not　my　life。　Not　even　my　honor。　Grant　me　this。〃　He　pointed　at　Cordelia。　〃You　gave　me　your　word　on　it　then。　Do　you　intend　to　take　it　back？〃
　〃Will　someone　please　tell　me　what　you　are　talking　about？〃　interrupted　Cordelia。
　〃Lieutenant　Illyan　is　having　a　little　conflict　at　the　moment　between　duty　and　conscience；〃　said　Vorkosigan；　folding　his　arms　and　staring　at　the　far　wall。　〃It　is　not　solvable　without　redefining　one　or　the　other；　and　he　must　now　choose　which。〃
　〃You　see；　there　was　another　incident；〃　Illyan　jerked　his　thumb　in　the　direction　of　Vorrutyer's　quarters；　〃like　that；　with　a　prisoner；　a　few　weeks　ago。　modore　Vorkosigan　wanted　to；　er；　do　something　about　it　then。　I　talked　him　out　of　it。　After…afterwards；　I　agreed　that　I　would　not　interfere　with　any　action　he　chose　to　take；　should　the　situation　e　up　again。〃
　〃Did　Vorrutyer　kill　her？〃　asked　Cordelia　morbidly。
　〃No；〃　said　Illyan。　He　stared　moodily　at　his　boots。
　〃e　on；　Illyan；〃　said　Vorkosigan　wearily。　〃If　they　aren't　discovered；　you　can　give　the　Emperor　your　true　report；　and　let　him　edit　it。　If　they　are　found　here…the　public　integrity　of　your　reports　is　not　going　to　be　your　most　pressing　worry；　believe　me。〃
　〃Damn！　Captain　Negri　was　right；〃　said　Illyan。
　〃He　usually　is…what　was　the　instance？〃
　〃He　said　that　permitting　private　judgments　to　turn　my　duty　in　the　smallest　matter　would　be　just　like　getting　a　little　bit　pregnant…that　the　consequences　would　very　soon　get　beyond　me。〃
　Vorkosigan　laughed。　〃Captain　Negri　is　a　very　experienced　man。　But　I　can　tell　you　that…very　rarely…even　he　has　been　known　to　make　a　private　judgment。〃
　〃But　Security　is　tearing　the　place　apart　out　there。　They're　going　to　arrive　back　here　eventually　just　by　process　of　elimination。　The　moment　it　occurs　to　someone　to　suspect　my　integrity；　it's　all　over。〃
　〃In　time；〃　agreed　Vorkosigan。　〃How　much　time；　do　you　estimate？〃
　〃They'll　plete　the　search　sweep　of　the　ship　in　a　few　hours。〃
　〃Then　you'll　just　have　to　re…direct　their　efforts。　Widen　their　search　area…didn't　any　ships　depart　the　flag　during　the　time　window　after　Vorrutyer's　death　and　before　the　security　cordon　was　started？〃
　〃Yes；　two；　but。。。〃
　〃Good。　Use　your　Imperial　influence　there。　Volunteer　all　the　assistance　that　you；　as　Captain　Negri's　most　trusted　aide；　can　supply。　Mention　Negri　frequently。　Suggest。　Remend。　Doubt。　Better　not　bribe　or　threaten；　that's　too　obvious；　although　it　may　e　to　that。　Slander　their　inspection　procedures；　make　records　evaporate…whatever　is　necessary　to　muddy　the　waters。　Buy　me　forty…eight　hours；　Illyan。　That's　all　I　ask。〃
　〃All？〃　choked　Illyan。
　〃All。　Try　to　be　sure　it's　you　and　no　one　else　who　brings　meals　and　so　on。　And　try　to　slip　in　some　extra　rations　when　you　do。〃
　Vorkosigan　relaxed　measurably　when　he　had　gone；　and　turned　to　her　with　a　sad　and　awkward　smile　that　was　good　as　a　touch。　〃Well　met；　lady。〃
　She　sketched　him　a　salute；　and　returned　the　smile。　〃I　hope　I　haven't　messed　things　up　for　you　too　much。　Personally；　that　is。〃
　〃By　no　means。　In　fact；　you　have　simplified　them　enormously。〃
　〃East　is　west；　up　is　down；　and　being　falsely　arrested　for　getting　your　C。O。's　throat　cut　is　a　simplification。　I　must　be　on　Barrayar。　I　don't　suppose　you'd　care　to　explain　what's　going　on　around　here？〃
　〃No。　But　at　last　I　understand　why　there　have　been　so　many　madmen　in　Barrayaran　history。　They　are　not　its　cause；　they　are　its　effect。〃　He　sighed；　and　spoke　so　low　it　was　almost　a　whisper。　〃Oh；　Cordelia。　You　have　no　idea　how　much　I　need　one　sane　clean　person　near　me。　You　are　water　in　the　desert。〃
　〃You　look　pretty；　uh…you　look　like　you've　lost　weight。〃　He　looked；　she　thought；　ten　years　older　than　six　months　ago。
　〃Oh；　me。〃　He　ran　his　hand　over　his　face。　〃I'm　not　thinking。　You　must　be　exhausted。　Do　you　want　to　go　to　sleep；　or　something？〃
　〃I'm　not　sure　I　can；　yet。　But　I'd　like　to　wash　up。　Didn't　think　I　ought　to　run　the　shower　when　you　weren't　here；　in　case　it's　monitored。〃
　〃Good　thinking。　Go　ahead。〃
　She　rubbed　her　hand　over　her　nerveless　thigh；　black　cloth　sticky　with　blood。　〃Uh；　have　you　got　a　change　of　clothes　for　me？　These　are　messed　up。　Besides；　they　were　Vorrutyer's。　They　have　a　psychic　stink。〃
　〃Right。〃　His　face　darkened；　〃Is　that　your　blood？〃
　〃Yeah；　Vorrutyer　was　playing　surgeon。　It　doesn't　hurt。　I've　got　no　nerves　there。〃
　〃Hm。〃　Vorkosigan　fingered　his　scar；　and　smiled　a　little。　〃Yes；　I　think　I　have　just　the　thing　for　you。〃
　He　unlocked　one　of　his　drawers　with　an　eight…digit　number　code；　sorted　down　to　the　bottom　layer；　and　to　Cordelia's　astonishment　pulled　out　the　Survey　fatigues　she　had　left　behind　on　the　General　Vorkraft；　now　cleaned；　mended；　pressed；　and　neatly　folded。　〃I　haven't　got　the　boots　with　me；　and　the　insignia　are　obsolete；　but　I　rather　imagine　these　will　fit；〃　Vorkosigan　remarked　blandly；　handing　them　over。
　〃You…saved　my　clothes？〃
　〃As　you　see。〃
　〃Good　heavens。　Uh…why？〃
　His　mouth　crimped　ruefully。　〃Well…it　was　all　you　left。　Except　for　the　shuttle　your　people　abandoned　downside；　which　would　have　made　a　rather　awkward　memento。〃
　She　ran　her　hand　over　the　tan　cloth；　feeling　suddenly　shy。　But　just　before　disappearing　into　the　bathroom　with　the　clothes　and　a　first…aid　kit；　she　said　abruptly；　〃I've　still　got　my　Barrayaran　uniform　at　home。　Wrapped　in　paper；　in　a　drawer。〃　She　gave　him　a　firm　nod；　his　eyes　lit。
　When　she　came　out　again　the　room　was　dim　and　night…quiet；　but　for　a　light　over　the　desk　where　Vorkosigan　was　studying　a　disk　at　his　puter　interface。　She　hopped　onto　his　bed　and　sat　cross…legged　again；　wriggling　her　bare　toes。　〃What's　all　that？〃
　〃Homework。　It's　my　official　function　on　Vorrutyer's…the　late　Admiral　Vorrutyer's…Staff。〃　He　smiled　a　little　as　he　corrected　himself；　like　the　famous　tiger　of　the　limerick　when　he　returned　from　the　ride　with　the　lady　inside。　〃I'm　charged　with　planning　and　keeping　the　contingency　orders　up　to　date；　in　case　we　are　forced　to　fall　back。　As　the　Emperor　said　in　the　Council　meeting；　since　I　was　so　convinced　it　was　going　to　be　a　disaster；　I　could　bloody　well　do　the　planning　for　it。　I'm　regarded　as　a　bit　of　a　fifth　wheel　around　here　at　the　moment。〃
　〃Things　going　well　for　your　side；　are　they？〃　she　asked；　oppressed。
　〃We're　being　nicely　overextended。　Some　people　regard　that　as　progress。〃　He　entered　some　new　data；　then　shut　down　the　interface。
　She　sought　to　turn　the　subject　from　the　dangerous　present。　〃I　take　it　you　didn't　get　charged　with　treason　after　all？〃　she　asked；　thinking　back　to　their　last　conversation；　long　ago　and　far　away　above　another　world。
　〃Ah；　that　turned　out　something　of　a　draw。　I　was　recalled　back　to　Barrayar　after　you　escaped。　Minister　Grishnov…he's　head　of　Political　Education；　and　third　in　real　power　after　the　Emperor　and　Captain　Negri…was　practically　drooling　on　himself；　he　was　so　convinced　he'd　got　me　at　last。　But　my　case　against　Radnov　was　air…tight。
　〃The　Emperor　stepped　in　before　we　could　draw　blood；　and　forced　a　promise；　or　more　correctly；　an　abeyance。　I　haven't　actually　been　cleared；　the　charges　are　still　pending　in　some　legal　limbo。〃
　〃How'd　he　do　it？〃
　〃Sleight　of　hand。　He　was　giving　Grishnov　and　the　whole　war　party　everything　they'd　asked　for；　the　entire　Escobar　scheme　on　a　platter；　and　more。　He