lmb.shardsofhonor-第39章

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　Vorkosigan　and　Cordelia　emerged　from　the　Imperial　Residence　into　the　warm　air　of　the　late　summer　evening；　soft　and　grey　with　humidity　from　the　nearby　river。　They　were　trailed　by　their　new　bodyguards；　trim　in　the　familiar　black　uniforms。　There　had　been　a　lengthy　conference　with　Vortala；　Negri；　and　Illyan。　Cordelia's　head　swam　with　the　number　and　detail　of　subjects　covered。　Vorkosigan；　she'd　noticed　enviously；　seemed　to　have　no　trouble　keeping　up；　indeed；　he'd　set　the　pace。
　His　face　seemed　focused；　more　electric　than　she'd　seen　it　since　she'd　e　to　Barrayar；　filled　with　an　eager　tension。　He's　alive　again；　she　thought。　Looking　out；　not　in；　forward；　not　back。　Like　when　I　first　met　him。　I'm　glad。　Whatever　the　risks。
　Vorkosigan　snapped　his　fingers　and　said　〃Tabs；〃　out　loud；　cryptically。　〃First　stop　Vorkosigan　House。〃
　They　had　driven　past　the　Count's　official　residence　on　their　last　trip　to　Vorbarr　Sultana；　but　this　was　the　first　time　Cordelia　had　been　in　it。　Vorkosigan　took　the　wide　circular　staircase　two　steps　at　a　time　to　his　own　room。　It　was　a　large　chamber；　simply　furnished；　overlooking　the　back　garden。　It　had　the　same　feel　as　Cordelia's　own　room　in　her　mother's　apartment；　of　frequent　and　prolonged　disoccupation；　with　archeological　layers　of　past　passions　stuffed　into　drawers　and　closets。
　Not　surprisingly；　there　was　evidence　of　interest　in　all　kinds　of　strategy　games；　and　civil　and　military　history。　More　surprising　was　a　portfolio　of　yellowing　pen…and…ink　drawings；　run　across　as　he　sorted　through　a　drawer　full　of　medals；　mementos；　and　pure　junk。
　〃Did　you　do　these？〃　Cordelia　asked　curiously。　〃They're　pretty　good。〃
　〃When　I　was　a　teenager；〃　he　explained；　still　sorting。　〃Some　later。　I　gave　it　up　in　my　twenties。　Too　busy。〃
　His　medal　and　campaign　ribbon　collection　showed　a　peculiar　history。　The　early；　lesser　ones　were　carefully　arranged　and　displayed　on　velvet…covered　cards；　with　notes　attached。　The　later；　greater　ones　were　piled　haphazardly　in　a　jar。　One；　which　Cordelia　recognized　as　a　high　Barrayaran　award　for　valor；　was　shoved　loose　in　the　back　of　the　drawer；　its　ribbon　crumpled　and　tangled。
　She　sat　on　his　bed　and　sorted　through　the　portfolio。　They　were　mostly　meticulous　architectural　studies；　but　also　a　few　figure　studies　and　portraits　done　in　a　less　certain　style。　There　were　several　of　a　striking　young　woman　with　short　dark　curls；　both　clothed　and　nude；　and　Cordelia　realized　with　a　shock　from　the　notes　on　them　that　she　was　looking　at　Vorkosigan's　first　wife。　She　had　seen　no　other　pictures　of　her　anywhere　in　his　things。　There　were　also　three　studies　of　a　laughing　young　man　labeled　〃Ges〃　that　seemed　hauntingly　familiar。　She　mentally　added　forty　pounds　and　twenty　years　to　him；　and　the　room　seemed　to　tilt　as　she　recognized　Admiral　Vorrutyer。　She　closed　the　portfolio　back　up　quietly。
　Vorkosigan　finally　found　what　he　was　looking　for；　a　couple　of　sets　of　old　red　lieutenant's　tabs。　〃Good。　It　was　quicker　than　going　by　headquarters。〃
　At　the　Imperial　Military　Hospital　they　were　stopped　by　a　male　nurse。　〃Sir？　Visiting　hours　are　over；　sir。〃
　〃Did　no　one　call　from　headquarters？　Where's　that　surgeon？〃
　Koudelka's　surgeon；　the　man　who　had　worked　on；　or　over；　him　with　the　hand　tractor　during　Cordelia's　first　visit；　was　routed　out　at　last。
　〃Admiral　Vorkosigan；　sir。　No；　of　course　visiting　hours　don't　apply　to　him。　Thank　you；　corpsman；　dismissed。〃
　〃I'm　not　visiting　this　time；　Doctor。　Official　business。　I　mean　to　relieve　you　of　your　patient　tonight；　if　it's　physically　possible。　Koudelka's　been　reassigned。〃
　〃Reassigned？　He　was　to　be　discharged　in　a　week！　Reassigned　to　what？　Hasn't　anybody　read　my　reports？　He　can　barely　walk。〃
　〃He　won't　need　to。　His　new　assignment　is　all　desk　work。　I　trust　you　have　his　hands　working？〃
　〃Pretty　well。〃
　〃Any　medical　work　left　to　be　done？〃
　〃Nothing　important。　A　few　last　tests。　I　was　just　holding　him　to　the　end　of　the　month；　so　he　would　have　pleted　his　fourth　year。　Thought　it　would　help　his　pension　a　bit；　such　as　it　is。〃
　Vorkosigan　sorted　through　the　papers　and　disks；　and　handed　the　pertinent　ones　to　the　doctor。　〃Here。　Cram　this　in　your　puter　and　get　his　release　signed。　e　on；　Cordelia；　let's　go　surprise　him。〃　He　looked　happier　than　he　had　all　day。
　They　entered　Koudelka's　room　to　find　him　still　dressed　for　the　day　in　black　fatigues；　struggling　with　a　therapeutic　hand　coordination　exercise　and　cursing　under　his　breath。
　〃Hello；　sir；〃　he　greeted　Vorkosigan　absently。　〃The　trouble　with　this　damn　tin…foil　nervous　system　is　that　you　can't　teach　it　anything。　Practice　only　helps　the　organic　parts。　I　swear　some　days　I　could　beat　my　head　on　the　wall。〃　He　gave　up　the　exercise　with　a　sigh。
　〃Don't　do　that。　You're　going　to　need　it　in　the　days　to　e。〃
　〃I　suppose　so。　It　was　never　my　best　part；　though。〃　He　stared；　abstracted　and　downcast；　at　the　board；　then　remembered　to　be　cheerful　for　his　mander。　Looking　up；　he　noticed　the　time。　〃What　are　you　doing　here　at　this　hour；　sir？〃
　〃Business。　Just　what　are　your　plans　for　the　next　few　weeks；　Ensign？〃
　〃Well；　they're　discharging　me　next　week；　you　know。　I'll　go　home　for　a　while。　Then　start　looking　for　work；　I　guess。　I　don't　know　what　land。〃
　〃Too　bad；〃　said　Vorkosigan；　keeping　his　face　straight。　〃I　hate　to　make　you　alter　your　plans；　Lieutenant　Koudelka；　but　you've　been　reassigned。〃　And　laid　on　his　bedside　tray；　in　order；　like　a　fine　hand　of　cards；　Koudelka's　newly　cut　orders；　his　promotion；　and　a　pair　of　red　collar　tabs。
　Cordelia　had　never　enjoyed　Koudelka's　expressive　face　more。　It　was　a　study　in　bewilderment　and　rising　hope。　He　picked　up　the　orders　carefully　and　read　them　through。
　〃Oh；　sir！　I　know　this　isn't　a　joke；　but　it's　got　to　be　a　mistake！　Personal　secretary　to　the　Regent…elect…I　don't　know　anything　about　the　work。　It's　an　impossible　job。〃
　〃Do　you　know；　that's　almost　exactly　what　the　Regent…elect　said　about　his　job；　when　he　was　first　offered　it；〃　said　Cordelia。　〃I　guess　you'll　both　have　to　learn　them　together。〃
　〃How　did　he　e　to　pick　me？　Did　you　remend　me；　sir？　e　to　think　of　it。。。〃　He　turned　the　orders　over；　reading　them　through　again；　〃who　is　the　Regent　going　to　be；　anyway？〃　He　raised　his　eyes　to　Vorkosigan；　and　made　the　connection　at　last。　〃My　God；〃　he　whispered。　He　did　not；　as　Cordelia　thought　he　might；　grin　and　congratulate；　but　instead　looked　quite　serious。　〃It's…a　hell　of　a　job；　sir。　But　I　think　the　government's　finally　done　something　right。　I'd　be　proud　to　serve　you　again。　Thank　you。〃
　Vorkosigan　nodded；　in　agreement　and　acceptance。
　Koudelka　did　grin；　when　he　picked　up　the　promotion　order。　〃Thanks　for　this；　too；　sir。〃
　〃Don't　thank　me　too　soon。　I　intend　to　sweat　blood　out　of　you　in　return。〃
　Koudelka's　grin　widened。　〃Nothing　new　about　that。〃　He　fumbled　clumsily　with　the　collar　tabs。
　〃May　I　do　that；　Lieutenant？〃　asked　Cordelia。　He　looked　up　defensively。　〃For　my　pleasure；〃　she　added。
　〃It　would　be　an　honor；　Milady。〃
　Cordelia　fastened　them　to　his　collar　straightly；　with　the　greatest　care；　and　stepped　back　to　admire　her　work。　〃Congratulations；　Lieutenant。〃
　〃You　can　get　shiny　new　ones　tomorrow；〃　Vorkosigan　said。　〃But　I　thought　these　would　do　for　tonight。　I'm　springing　you　out　of　here　now。　We'll　put　you　up　at　the　Count　my　father's　Residence　tonight；　because　work　starts　tomorrow　at　dawn。〃
　Koudelka　fingered　the　red　rectangles。　〃Were　they　yours；　sir？〃
　〃Once。　I　hope　they　don't　bring　you　my　luck；　which　was　always　vile；　but…wear　them　in　good　health。〃
　Koudelka　gave　him　a　nod；　and　a　smile。　He　clearly　found　Vorkosigan's　gesture　profoundly　meaningful；　exceeding　his　capacity　for　words。　But　the　two　men　understood　each　other　perfectly　well　without　them。　〃Don't　think　I　want　new　ones；　sir。　People　would　just　think　I'd　been　an　ensign　yesterday。〃
　Later；　lying　warm　in　the　darkness　in　Vorkosigan's　room　in　the　Count's　town　house；　Cordelia　remembered　a　curiosity。　〃What　did　you　say　to　the　Emperor；　about　me？〃
　He　stirred　beside　her；　and　pulled　the　sheet　tenderly　up　over　her　bare　shoulder；　tenting　them　together。　〃Hm？　Oh；　that。〃　He　hesitated。　〃Ezar　had　been　questioning　me　about　you；　in　our　argument　about　Escobar。　Implied　that　you　had　affected　my　nerve；　for　the　worse。　I　didn't　know　then　if　I'd　ever　see　you　again。　He　wanted　to　know　what　I　saw　in　you。　I　told　him。。。〃　he　paused　again；　and　then　continued　almost　shyly；　〃that　you　poured　out　honor　like　a　fountain；　all　around　you。〃
　〃That's　weird。　I　don't　feel　full　of　honor；　or　anything　else；　except　maybe　confusion。〃
　〃Naturally　not。　Fountains　keep　nothing　for　themselves。〃
　
　AFTERMATHS
　The　shattered　ship　hung　in　space；　a　black　bulk　in　the　darkness。　It　still　turned；　imperceptibly　slowly；　one　edge　eclipsed　and　swallowed　the　bright　point　of　a　star。　The　lights　of　the　salvage　crew　arced　over　the　skeleton。　Ants；　ripping　up　a　dead　moth；　Ferrell　thought。　Scavengers。。。
　He　sighed　dismay　into　his　forward　observation　screen；　and　pictured　the　ship　as　it　had　been；　scant　weeks　before。　The　wreckage　untwisted　in　his　mind…a　cruiser；　alive　with　patterns　of　gaudy　lights　that　always　made　him　think　of　a　party　seen　across　night　waters。　Responsive　as　a　mirror　to　the　mind　under　its　Pilot's　headset；　where　man　and　machine　penetrated　the　interface　and　became　one。　Swift；　gleaming；　functional。。。　no　more。　He　glanced　to　his　right；　and　cleared　his　throat　self…consciously。
　〃Well；　Medtech；〃　he　spoke　to　the　woman　who　stood　beside　his　station；　staring　into　the　screen　as　silently　and　long　as　he　had。　〃There's　our　starting　point。　Might　as　well　go　ahead　and　begin　the　pattern　sweep　now；　I　suppose。
　〃Yes；　please　do；　Pilot　Officer。〃　She　had　a　gravelly　alto　voice；　suitable　for　her　age；　which　Ferrell　judged　to　be　about　forty…five。　The　collection　of　thin　silver　five…year　service　chevrons　on　her　left　sleeve　made　an　impressive　glitter　against　the　dark　red　uniform　of　the　Escobaran　military　medical　service。　Dark　hair　shot　with　grey；　cut　short　for　ease　of　maintenance；　not　style；　a　matronly　heaviness　to　her　hips。　A　veteran；　it　appeared。　Ferrell's　sleeve　had　yet　to　sprout　even　his　first…year　stripe；　and　his　hips；　and　the　rest　of　his　body；　still　maintained　an　unfilled　adolescent　stringiness。
　But　she　was　only　a　tech；　he　reminded　himself；　not　even　a　physician。　He　was　a　full…fledged　Pilot　Officer。　His　neurological　implants　and　biofeedback　training　were　all　plete。　He　was　certified；　licensed；　and　graduated…just　three　frustrating　days　too　late　to　participate　in　what　was　now　being　dubbed　the　120　Day　War。　Although　in　fact　it　had　only　been　118　days　and　part　of　an　hour　between　the　time　the　spearhead　of　the　Barrayaran　invasion　fleet　penetrated　Escobaran　local　space；　and　the　time　the　last　survivors　fled　the　counterattack；　piling　through　the　wormhole　exit　for　home　as　though　scuttling　for　a　burrow。
　〃Do　you　wish　to　stand　by？〃　he　asked　her。
　She　shook　her　head。　〃Not　yet。　This　inner　area　has　been　pretty　well　worked　over　in　the　last　three　weeks。　I　wouldn't　expect　to　find　anything　on　the　first　four　turns；　although　it's　good　to　be　thorough。　I've　a　few　things　to　arrange　yet　in　my　work　area；　and　then　I　think　I'll　get　a　catnap。　My　department　has　been　awfully　busy　the　last　few　months；〃　she　added　apologetically。　〃Understaffed；　you　know。　Please　call　me　if　you　do　spot　anything；　though…I　prefer　to　handle　the　tractor　myself；　whenever　p