chiaasen.stormyweather-第22章

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　The　cop　who　stopped　him　was　a　female　Highway　Patrol　trooper。　She　had　pleasant　features　and　pretty　pale…blue　eyes　that　reminded　Snapper　of　a　girl　he'd　tried　to　date　back　in　Atlanta；　some　sort　of　turbocharged　Catholic。　The　lady　trooper's　dark　hair　was　pulled　up　under　her　hat；　and　she　wore　a　gold　wedding　band　that　cried　out　for　pawning。　The　holster　appeared　oversized　and　out　of　place　on　her　hip。　She　shined　a　light　in　the　Jeep　and　asked　to　see　Snapper's　driver's　license。
　
　〃I　left　my　wallet　at　home。〃
　
　〃No　identification？〃
　
　〃'Fraid　not。〃　For　effect；　he　patted　his　pockets。
　
　〃What's　your　name？〃
　
　〃Boris；〃　said　Snapper。　He　loved　Boris　and　Natasha；　from　the　old　Rocky　and　Bullwinkle　TV　show。
　
　〃Boris　what？〃　the　trooper　asked。
　
　Snapper　couldn't　spell　the　cartoon　Boris's　last　name；　so　he　said；　〃Smith。　Boris＇。　Smith。〃
　
　The　trooper's　pale　eyes　seemed　to　darken；　and　the　tone　of　her　voice　flattened。　〃Sir；　I　clocked　you　at　seventy　in　a　forty…five…mile…per…hour　zone。〃
　
　〃No　kidding。〃　Snapper　felt　relieved。　A　stupid　speeding　ticket！　Maybe　she'd　write　him　up　without　running　the　tag。
　
　The　trooper　said：　〃It's　against　the　law　to　operate　a　motor　vehicle　in　Florida　without　a　valid　license。　You're　aware　of　that。〃
　
　OK；　Snapper　thought；　two　tickets。　Big　fucking　deal。　But　he　noticed　she　wasn't　calling　him　〃Mister　Smith。〃
　
　〃You're　also　aware　that　it's　illegal　to　give　false　information　to　a　law…enforcement　officer？〃
　
　〃Sure。〃　Snapper　cursed　to　himself　The　bitch　wasn't　buying　it。
　
　〃Stay　in　your　vehicle；　please。〃
　
　In　the　mirror；　Snapper　watched　the　flashlight　bobbing　as　the　trooper　walked　back　to　her　car。　Undoubtedly　she　intended　to　call　in　the　license　plate　on　the　Cherokee。　Snapper　felt　his　shoulders　tighten。　He　had　as　much　chance　of　explaining　the　stolen　vehicle　as　he　did　explaining　the　seven　thousand　dollars　in　his　suit。
　
　He　saw　two　choices。　The　first　was　to　flee　the　scene；　which　was　guaranteed　to　result　in　a　chase；　a　messy　crash　and　an　arrest　on　numerous　nonbondable　felonies。
　
　The　second　choice　was　to　stop　the　lady　trooper　before　she　got　on　the　radio。　Which　is　what　he　did。
　
　Some　cons　wouldn't　hit　a　woman；　but　Snapper　was　neutral　on　the　issue。　A　cop　was　a　cop。　The　trooper　spotted　him　ing　but；　encumbered　by　the　steering　wheel；　had　difficulty　pulling　that　enormous　Smith　&　Wesson　out　of　its　holster。　She　managed　to　get　the　snap　undone；　but　by　then　it　was　good…night…nurse。
　
　He　took　the　flashlight；　the　gun　and　the　wedding　band；　and　left　the　trooper　lying　unconscious　by　the　side　of　the　road。　Speeding　away；　he　noticed　a　smudge　of　color　on　one　of　his　knuckles。
　
　Makeup；　it　looked　like。
　
　He　didn't　feel　shame；　regret　or　anything　much　at　all。
　
　Edie　Marsh　was　beginning　to　appreciate　the　suffering　of　real　hurricane　victims。　It　rained　three　times　during　the　day；　leaving　dirty　puddles　throughout　the　Torres　house。　The　carpets　squished　underfoot；　green　frogs　vaulted　from　wall　to　wall；　and　mosquitoes　were　hatching　in　one　of　the　bathroom　sinks。　Even　after　the　cloudbursts　stopped；　the　exposed　beams　dripped　for　hours。　bined　with　the　cacophony　of　neighborhood　hammers　and　chain　saws；　the　racket　was　driving　Edie　nuts。　She　walked　outside　and　called　halfheartedly　for　the　missing　dachshunds；　an　exercise　that　she　abandoned　swiftly　after　spying　a　fat　brown　snake。　Edie's　scream　attracted　a　neighbor；　who　took　a　broom　and　scared　the　snake　away。　Then　he　inquired　about　Tony　and　Neria。
　
　They're　out　of　town；　said　Edie　Marsh。　They　asked　me　to　watch　the　place。
　
　And　you　are　。。。　？
　
　A　cousin；　Edie　replied；　knowing　she　looked　about　as　Latin　as　Goldie　Hawn。
　
　As　soon　as　the　neighbor　left；　Edie　hurried　into　the　house　and　stationed　herself　in　Tony's　recliner。　She　turned　up　the　radio　and　laid　the　crowbar　within　arm's　reach。　When　darkness　came；　the　hammering　and　sawing　stopped；　and　the　noises　of　the　neighborhood　changed　to　bawling　babies；　scratchy　radios　and　slamming　doors。　Edie　began　worrying　about　looters　and　rapists　and　the　unknown　predator　that　had　slurped　poor　Donald　and　Maria　like　Tic　Tacs。　By　the　time　Fred　Dove　showed　up；　she　was　a　basket　of　nerves。
　
　The　insurance　man　brought　a　corsage　of　gardenias。　Like　he　was　picking　her　up　for　the　prom！
　
　Edie　Marsh　said；　〃You　can't　be　serious。〃
　
　〃What's　wrong？　I　couldn't　find　roses。〃
　
　〃Fred；　I　can't　stay　here　anymore。　Get　me　a　room。〃
　
　〃Everything's　going　to　be　fine。　Look；　I　brought　wine。〃
　
　〃Fred？〃
　
　〃And　scented　candles。〃
　
　〃Yo；　Fred！〃
　
　〃What？〃
　
　Edie　steered　him　to　a　soggy　sofa　and　sat　him　down。　〃Fred；　this　is　business；　not　romance。〃
　
　He　looked　hurt。
　
　〃Sweetie；〃　she　said；　〃we　had　sexual　intercourse　exactly　one　time。　Don't　worry；　there's　every　chance　in　the　world　we'll　do　it　again。　But　it　isn't　love　and　it　isn't　passion。　It's　a　financial　partnership。〃
　
　The　insurance　man　said；　〃You　seduced　me。〃
　
　〃Of　course　I　did。　And　you　were　fantastic。〃
　
　As　Fred　Dove's　ego　reinflated；　his　posture　improved。
　
　〃But　no　more　flowers；〃　Edie　scolded；　〃and　no　more　wine。　Just　get　me　a　room　at　the　damn　Ramada；　OK？〃
　
　The　insurance　man　solemnly　agreed。　〃First　thing　tomorrow。〃
　
　〃Look　at　this　place；　honey。　No　roof。　No　glass　in　the　windows。　It's　not　a　house；　it's　a　damn　cabana！〃
　
　〃You're　right；　Edie；　you　can't　stay　here。　I'll　rejigger　the　expense　account。〃
　
　She　rolled　her　eyes。　〃Fred；　don't　be　so　anal。　We're　about　to　rip　off　your　employer　for　a　hundred　and　forty…one　thousand　bucks；　and　you're　pitching　a　hissy　fit　over　a　sixty…dollar　motel　room。　Think　about　it。〃
　
　〃Please　don't　get　angry。〃
　
　〃You've　got　the　claim　papers？〃
　
　〃Right　here。〃
　
　After　scanning　the　figures；　Edie　Marsh　felt　better。　She　plucked　the　gardenias　from　the　corsage　and　arranged　them　in　a　coffeepot；　which　was　full　of　lukewarm　rainwater。　She　opened　the　bottle　of　Chablis；　and　they　toasted　to　a　successful　venture。　After　four　glasses；　Edie　felt　fortable　enough　to　ask　what　the　insurance　man　planned　to　do　with　his　cut　of　the　money。
　
　〃Buy　a　boat；〃　Fred　Dove　said；　〃and　sail　to　Bimini。〃
　
　〃What　about　wife？〃
　
　〃Who？〃　said　Fred　Dove。　They　laughed　together。　Then　he　asked　Edie　Marsh　how　she　was　going　to　spend　her　seventy…one　grand。
　
　〃Hyannis　Port；〃　she　said；　without　elaboration。
　
　Later；　when　the　Chablis　was　gone；　Edie　dragged　a　dry　mattress　into　the　living　room；　turned　off　the　lightbulb　and　lit　one　of　Fred　Dove's　candles；　which　smelled　like　malted　milk。　As　Edie　took　off　her　clothes；　she　heard　Fred　groping　inside　his　briefcase　for　a　rubber。　He　tore　the　foil　with　his　teeth　and　pressed　the　package　into　her　hand。
　
　Even　when　she　was　sober；　condoms　made　Edie　laugh。　When　drunk　she　found　them　downright　hilarious；　the　silliest　contraptions　imaginable。　For　tonight　Fred　Dove　had　boldly　chosen　a　red　one；　and　Edie　was　no　help　whatsoever　in　putting　it　on。　Neither；　for　that　matter；　was　Fred。　Edie's　tittering　had　pretty　well　shattered　the　mood；　undoing　all　the　good　work　of　the　wine。
　
　Flat　on　his　back；　the　insurance　man　turned　his　head　away。　Edie　Marsh　slapped　his　legs　apart　and　knelt　between　them。　〃Don't　you　quit　on　me；〃　she　scolded。　〃Pay　attention；　sweetie。　e　on。〃　Firmly　she　took　hold　of　him。
　
　〃Could　you　just…？〃
　
　〃No。〃　It　was　always　bad　form　to　giggle　in　the　middle　of　a　blow　job；　and　Fred　Dove　was　the　sort　who'd　never　recover；　emotionally。　〃Focus；〃　she　instructed　him。　〃Remember　how　good　it　was　last　night。〃
　
　Edie　had　gotten　the　condom　partially　deployed　when　she　heard　the　electric　generator　cut　off。　Out　of　fuel；　she　figured。　It　could　wait；　Fred　Jr　was　showing　signs　of　life。
　
　She　heard　a　soft　click；　and　suddenly　the　insurance　man's　festively　crowned　penis　was　illuminated　in　a　circle　of　bright　light。　Edie　Marsh　let　go　and　sat　upright。　Fred　Dove；　his　eyes　shut　tightly　in　concentration；　said；　〃Don't　stop　now。〃
　
　In　the　front　doorway　stood　a　man　with　a　powerful　flashlight。
　
　〃Candles；〃　he　said。　〃That's　real　fuckin'　cozy。〃
　
　Fred　Dove's　chest　stopped　moving；　and　one　hand　fumbled　for　his　eyeglasses。　Edie　Marsh　got　up　and　folded　her　arms　across　her　breasts。　She　said；　〃Thanks　for　knocking；　asshole。〃
　
　〃I　came　back　for　my　car。〃　Snapper　played　the　light　up　and　down　her　body。
　
　〃It's　in　the　driveway；　right　where　you　left　it。〃
　
　〃What's　the　hurry；〃　said　Snapper；　stepping　into　the　house。
　
　Bonnie　Lamb　went　to　Augustine's　room　at　one…thirty　in　the　morning。　She　climbed　under　the　sheets　without　brushing　against　him　even　slightly。　It　wasn't　easy；　in　a　twin　bed。
　
　She　whispered；　〃Are　you　sleeping？〃
　
　〃Like　a　log。〃
　
　〃Sorry。〃
　
　He　rolled　over　to　face　her。　〃You　need　a　pillow？〃
　
　〃I　need　a　hug。〃
　
　〃Bad　idea。〃
　
　〃Why？〃
　
　〃I'm　slightly　on　the　naked　side。　I　wasn't　expecting　pany。〃
　
　〃Apology　number　two；〃　she　said。
　
　〃Close　your　eyes；　Mrs。　Lamb。〃　He　got　up　and　pulled　on　a　pair　of　loose　khakis。　No　shirt；　she　observed；　unalarmed。　He　slipped　under　the　covers　and　held　her。
　
　His　skin　was　warm　and　smooth　against　her　cheek；　and　when　he　moved　she　felt　a　taut；　shifting　wedge　of　muscle。　Max's　physical　topography　was　entirely　different；　but　Bonnie　pushed　the　thought　from　her　mind。　It　wasn't　fair　to　pare　hugging　prowess。　Not　now。
　
　She　asked　Augustine　if　he'd　ever　been　married。　He　said　no。
　
　〃Engaged？〃
　
　〃Three　times。〃
　
　Bonnie　raised　her　head。　〃You're　kidding。〃
　
　〃Unfortunately　not。〃　In　the　artificial　twilight；　Augustine　saw　she　was　smiling。　〃This　amuses　you？〃
　
　〃Intrigues　me；〃　she　said。　〃Three　times？〃
　
　〃They　all　came　to　their　senses。〃
　
　〃We're　talking　about　three　different　women。　No　repeats？〃
　
　〃Correct；〃　said　Augustine。
　
　〃I've　got　to　ask　what　happened。　You　don't　have　to　answer；　but　I've　got　to　ask。〃
　
　〃Well；　the　first　one　married　a　successful　personal…injury　lawyer…he's　doing　class…action　breast…implant　litigation；　the　second　one　started　an　architecture　firm　and　is　currently　a　mistress　to　a　Venezuelan　cabinet　minister；　and　the　third　one　is　starring　on　a　popular　Cuban　soap　opera…she　plays　Miriam；　the　jealous　schizophrenic。　So　I　would　say；〃　Augustine　concluded；　〃that　each　of　them　made　a　wise　decision　by　ending　our　relationship。〃
　
　Bonnie　Lamb　said；　〃I　bet　you　let　them　keep　the　engagement　rings。〃
　
　〃Hey；　it's　only　money。〃
　
　〃And　you　still　watch　the　soap　opera；　don't　you？〃
　
　〃She's　quite　good　in　it。　Very　convincing。〃
　
　Bonnie　said；　〃What　an　unusual　guy。〃
　
　〃You　feeling　better？　My　personal　problems　always　seem　to　cheer　people　up。〃
　
　She　put　her　head　down。　〃I'm　worried　about　tomorrow；　about　seeing　Max　again。〃
　
　Augustine　told　her　it　was　normal　to　be　nervous。　〃I'm　a　little　antsy　myself。〃
　
　〃Will　you　bring　the　gun？〃
　
　〃Let's　play　it　by　ear。〃　He　seriously　doubted　if　the　governor　would　appear；　much　less　deliver　Bonnie's　husband。
　
　〃Are　you　scared？〃　When　she　spoke；　he　could　feel　her　soft　breath　on　his　chest。
　
　〃Restless；〃　he　said；　〃not　scared。〃
　
　〃Hey。〃
　
　〃Hey　what？〃
　
　〃You　getting　excited？〃
　
　Augustine　shifted　in　embarrassment。　What　did　she　expect？　He　said；　〃My　turn　to　apologize。〃
　
　But　she　didn't　move。　So　he　took　a　slow　quiet　breath　and　tr