epeters.amorbidtasteforbones-第26章

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　came　here　a　fugitive；　we　were　of　an　age；　we　could　match　each　other。　I　have　liked　him；　hunted　with　him；　fought　with　him；　been　jealous　of　him；　even　hated　him　because　he　was　loved　where　I　was　not。　Love　makes　men　do　terrible　things；〃　said　Peredur；　not　pleading；　marvelling；　〃even　to　their　friends。〃
　He　had　created；　all　unconsciously；　a　tremendous　hush　all　about　him；　of　awe　at　his　blasphemy；　of　startled　pity　for　his　desolation；　of　chastened　wonder　at　their　own　misconceivings。　The　truth　fell　like　thunder；　subduing　them　all。　Rhisiart　had　not　been　shot　down　with　an　arrow；　but　felled　from　behind　at　close　quarters；　out　of　thick　cover；　a　coward's　killing。　Not　saints；　but　men；　deal　in　that　kind　of　treachery。
　Father　Huw　broke　the　silence。　In　his　own　providence；　where　no　alien　dignitaries　dared　intrude；　he　grew　taller　and　more　secure　in　his　gentle；　neighbourly　authority。　And　great　violence　had　been　done　to　what　he　knew　to　be　right；　and　great　requital　was　due　from　the　sinner；　and　great　passion　due　to　him。
　〃Son　Peredur；〃　he　said；　〃you　stand　in　dire　sin；　and　cannot　be　excused。　Such　violation　of　the　image　of　God；　such　misuse　of　a　clean　affection…for　such　I　know　you　had　with　Rhisiart…and　such　malice　towards　an　innocent　man…for　such　you　proclaimed　Engelard…cannot　go　unpunished。〃
　〃God　forbid；〃　said　Peredur　humbly；　〃that　I　should　escape　any　part　of　what　is　due。　I　want　it！　I　cannot　live　with　myself　if　I　have　only　this　present　self　to　live　with！〃
　〃Child；　if　you　mean　that；　then　give　yourself　into　my　hands；　to　be　delivered　up　both　to　secular　and　religious　justice。　As　to　the　law；　I　shall　speak　with　the　prince's　bailiff。　As　to　the　penance　due　before　God；　that　is　for　me　as　your　confessor；　and　I　require　that　you　shall　wait　my　considered　judgment。〃
　〃So　I　will；　Father；〃　said　Peredur。　〃I　want　no　unearned　pardon。　I　take　penance　willingly。〃
　〃Then　you　need　not　despair　of　grace。　Go　home　now；　and　remain　withindoors　until　I　send　for　you。〃
　〃I　will　be　obedient　to　you　in　all　things。　But　I　have　one　prayer　before　I　go。〃　He　turned　slowly　and　faced　Sioned。　She　was　standing　quite　still　where　the　awful　dread　had　fallen　upon　her；　her　hands　clutched　to　her　cheeks；　her　eyes　fixed　in　fascination　and　pain　upon　the　boy　who　had　grown　up　as　her　playfellow。　But　the　rigidity　had　ebbed　out　of　her；　for　though　he　called　himself　a　monster；　he　was　not；　after　all；　the　monster　she　had　briefly　thought　him。　〃May　I　now　do　what　you　asked　of　me？　I　am　not　afraid　now。　He　was　a　fair　man　always。　He　won't　accuse　me　of　more　than　my　due。〃
　He　was　both　asking　her　pardon　and　saying　his　farewell　to　any　hope　he　had　still　cherished　of　winning　her；　for　now　that　was　irrevocably　over。　And　the　strange　thing　was　that　now　he　could　approach　her；　even　after　so　great　an　offence；　without　constraint；　almost　without　jealousy。　Nor　did　her　face　express　any　great　heat　or　bitterness　against　him。　It　was　thoughtful　and　intent。
　〃Yes；〃　she　said；　〃I　still　wish　it。〃　If　he　had　spoken　the　whole　truth；　and　she　was　persuaded　that　he　had；　it　was　well　that　he　should　take　his　appeal　to　Rhisiart；　in　a　form　every　man　there　would　acknowledge。　In　otherworldly　justice　the　body　would　clear　him　of　the　evil　he　had　not　mitted；　now　that　confession　was　made　of　what　he　had。
　Peredur　went　forward　steadily　enough　now；　sank　to　his　knees　beside　Rhisiart's　body；　and　laid　first　his　hand；　and　then　Sioned's　cross；　upon　the　heart　he　had　pierced；　and　no　gush　of　blood　sprang　at　his　touch。　And　if　there　was　one　thing　certain；　it　was　that　here　was　a　man　who　did　believe。　He　hesitated　a　moment；　still　kneeling；　and　then；　feeling　a　need　rather　to　give　thanks　for　this　acceptance　than　to　make　any　late　and　unfitting　display　of　affection；　stooped　and　kissed　the　right　hand　that　lay　quiet　over　the　left　on　Rhisiart's　breast；　their　clasped　shape　showing　through　the　close　shroud。　That　done；　he　rose　and　went　firmly　away　by　the　downhill　path　towards　his　father's　house。　The　people　parted　to　let　him　through　in　a　great　silence；　and　Cadwallon；　starting　out　of　a　trance　of　unbelieving　misery；　lurched　forward　in　haste　and　went　trotting　after　his　son。
　
　Chapter　Nine
　The　evening　was　drawing　in　by　the　time　they　had　buried　Rhisiart；　and　it　was　too　late　for　Prior　Robert　and　his　panions　to　take　their　prize　and　leave　at　once　for　home；　even　if　it　had　been　a　seemly　thing　to　do；　after　all　that　had　happened。　Some　ceremony　was　due　to　the　munity　the　saint　was　leaving；　and　the　houses　that　had　offered　hospitality　freely　even　to　those　who　came　to　rob　them。
　〃We　will　stay　this　night　over；　and　sing　Vespers　and　pline　in　the　church　with　you；　and　give　due　thanks；〃　said　the　prior。　〃And　after　pline　one　of　us　will　again　watch　the　night　through　with　Saint　Winifred；　as　is　only　proper。　And　should　the　prince's　bailiff　require　that　we　stay　longer；　we　will　do　as　he　asks。　For　there　is　still　the　matter　of　Brother　John；　who　stands　in　contempt　of　the　law；　to　our　disgrace。〃
　〃At　present；〃　said　Father　Huw　deprecatingly；　〃the　bailiff　is　giving　his　attention　to　the　case　of　Rhisiart's　murder。　For　though　we　have　suffered　many　revelations　in　that　matter；　you　see　that　we　are　no　nearer　knowing　who　is　guilty。　What　we　have　seen　today　is　one　man　who　certainly　is　innocent　of　the　crime；　whatever　his　other　sins　may　be。〃
　〃I　fear；〃　said　Prior　Robert　with　unwonted　humility；　〃that　without　ill　intent　we　have　caused　you　great　grief　and　trouble　here；　and　for　that　I　am　sorry。　And　greatly　sorry　for　the　parents　of　that　sinful　young　man；　who　are　suffering；　I　think；　far　worse　than　he；　and　without　blame。〃
　〃I　am　going　to　them　now；〃　said　Huw。　〃Will　you　go　on　ahead；　Father　Prior；　and　sing　Vespers　for　me？　For　I　may　be　delayed　some　time。　I　must　do　what　I　can　for　this　troubled　household。〃
　The　people　of　Gwytherin　had　begun　to　drift　away　silently　by　many　paths；　vanishing　into　the　woods　to　spread　the　news　of　the　day's　happening　to　the　far　corners　of　the　parish。　In　the　long　grass　of　the　graveyard；　trampled　now　by　many　feet；　the　dark；　raw　shape　of　Rhisiart's　grave　made　a　great　scar；　and　two　of　his　men　were　filling　in　the　earth　over　him。　It　was　finished。　Sioned　turned　towards　the　gate；　and　all　the　rest　of　her　people　followed。
　Cadfael　fell　in　beside　her　as　the　subdued；　straggling　procession　made　its　way　home　towards　the　village。
　〃Well；〃　he　said　resignedly；　〃it　was　worth　trying。　And　we　can't　say　it　got　us　nothing。　At　least　we　know　now　who　mitted　the　lesser　crime；　if　we're　very　little　nearer　knowing　who　mitted　the　greater。　And　we　know　why　there　were　two；　for　they　made　no　sense；　being　one　and　the　same。　And　at　any　rate；　we　have　shaken　the　devil　off　that　boy's　back。　Are　you　quite　revolted　at　what　he　did？　As　he　is？〃
　〃Strangely；〃　said　Sioned；　〃I　don't　believe　I　am。　I　was　too　sick　with　horror；　that　short　time　while　I　thought　him　the　murderer。　After　that；　it　was　simple　relief　that　he　was　not。　He　has　never　gone　short　of　anything　he　wanted；　you　see；　until　he　wanted　me。〃
　〃It　was　a　real　wanting；〃　said　Brother　Cadfael；　remembering　long…past　hungers　of　his　own。　〃I　doubt　if　he'll　ever　quite　get　over　it；　though　I'm　pretty　sure　he'll　make　a　sound　marriage；　and　get　handsome　children　like　himself；　and　be　fairly　content。　He　grew　up　today；　she　won't　be　disappointed；　whoever　she　may　be。　But　she'll　never　be　Sioned。〃
　Her　tired；　woeful；　discouraged　face　had　softened　and　warmed；　and　suddenly　she　was　smiling　beside　him；　faintly　but　reassuringly。　〃You　are　a　good　man。　You　have　a　way　of　reconciling　people。　But　no　need！　Do　you　think　I　did　not　see　how　he　dragged　himself　painfully　to　this　afternoon's　business；　and　has　gone　striding　away　with　his　head　up　to　embrace　his　punishment？　I　might　really　have　loved　him　a　little；　if　there　had　been　no　Engelard。　But　only　a　little！　He　may　do　better　than　that。〃
　〃You　are　a　fine　girl；〃　said　Brother　Cadfael　heartily。　〃If　I　had　met　you　when　I　was　thirty　years　younger；　I　should　have　made　Engelard　sweat　for　his　prize。　Peredur　should　be　thankful　even　for　such　a　sister。　But　we're　no　nearer　knowing　what　we　want　and　need　to　know。〃
　〃And　have　we　any　more　shafts　left　to　loose？〃　she　asked　ruefully。　〃Any　more　snares　to　set？　At　least　we've　freed　the　poor　soul　we　caught　in　the　last　one。〃
　He　was　silent；　glumly　thinking。
　〃And　tomorrow；〃　she　said　sadly；　〃Prior　Robert　will　take　his　saint　and　all　his　brothers；　and　you　with　them；　and　set　out　for　home；　and　I　shall　be　left　with　nobody　to　turn　to　here。　Father　Huw　is　as　near　a　saint　himself；　in　his　small；　confused　way；　as　ever　Winifred　was；　but　no　use　to　me。　And　Uncle　Meurice　is　a　gentle　creature　who　knows　about　running　a　manor；　but　nothing　about　anything　else；　and　wants　no　trouble　and　no　exertion。　And　Engelard　must　go　on　hiding；　as　well　you　know。　Peredur's　plot　against　him　is　quite　empty　now；　we　all　know　it。　But　does　that　prove　he　did　not　kill　my　father；　after　a　raging　quarrel？〃
　〃In　the　back？〃　said　Cadfael；　unguardedly　indignant。
　She　smiled。　〃All　that　proves　is　that　you　know　him！　Not　everyone　does。　Some　will　be　saying　at　this　moment；　perhaps；　after　all。。。　that　Peredur　may　have　been　right　without　even　knowing　it。〃
　He　thought　about　it　and　was　dismayed；　for　no　question　but　she　was　right。　What；　indeed；　did　it　prove　if　another　man　had　wished　to　burden　him　with　the　guilt？　Certainly　not　that　the　guilt　was　not　his。　Brother　Cadfael　confronted　his　own　voluntarily　assumed　responsibility；　and　braced　himself　to　cope　with　it。
　〃There　is　also　Brother　John　to　be　considered；〃　said
　Sioned。　It　may　well　be　that　Annest；　walking　behind；　had　prodded　her。
　〃I　have　not　forgotten　Brother　John；〃　agreed　Cadfael。
　〃But　I　think　the　bailiff　well　may　have　done。　He　would　shut　his　eyes　or　look　the　other　way；　if　Brother　John　left　for　Shrewsbury　with　the　rest　of　you。　He　has　troubles　enough　here；　what　does　he　want　with　alien　trouble？〃
　〃And　if　Brother　John　should　seem　to　him　to　have　left　for　Shrewsbury；　he　would　be　satisfied？　And　ask　no　questions　about　one　more　outlander　taken　up　by　a　patron　here？〃
　〃I　always　knew　you　were　quick；〃　said　Sioned；　brown　and　bright　and　animated；　almost　herself　again。　〃But　would　Prior　Robert　pursue　him　still；　when　he　hears　he's　gone　from　custody？　I　don't　see　him　as　a　forgiving　man。〃
　〃No；　nor　he　is；　but　how　would　he　set　about　it？　The　Benedictine　order　has　no　real　hold　in　Wales。　No；　I　think　he'd　let　it　ride；　now　he　has　what　he　came　for。　I'm　more　concerned　for　Engelard。　Give　me　this　one　more　night；　child；　and　do　this　for　me！　Send　your　people　home；　and　stay　the　night　over　with　Annest　at　Bened's　croft；　and　if　God　aids　me　with　some　new　thought…for　never　forget　God　is　far　more　deeply　offended　even　than　you　or　I　by　this　great　wrong！…I'll　e　to　you　there。〃
　〃We'll　do　that；〃　said　Sioned。　〃And　you'll　surely　e。〃
　They　had　slowed　to　let　the　cortege　move　well　ahead　of　them；　so　that　they　could　talk　freely。　They　were　approaching　the　gatehouse　of　Cadwallon's　holding；　and　Prior　Robert　and　his　panions　were　far　in　front　and　had　passed　by　the　gate；　bent　upon　singing　Vespers　in　good　time。　Father　Huw；　issuing　forth　in　haste　and　agitation　in　search　of　help；　seemed　relieved　rather　than　dismayed　to　find　only　Cadfael　within　call。　The　presence　of　Sioned　checked　him　to　a　decent　walk　and　a　measured　tone；　but　did　nothing　to　subdue　the　effect　of　his　erected　hair　and　frantic　mien。
　〃Brother　Cadfael；　will　you　spare　some　minutes　for　this　afflicted　household？　You　have　some　skills　with　me