adam bede(亚当[1].比德)-第112章
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callous； not coldly selfish。 I am persuaded that this will be a shock
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of which he will feel the effects all his life。 Why do you crave
vengeance in this way？ No amount of torture that you could inflict
on him could benefit her。”
“No—O God； no；” Adam groaned out； sinking on his chair
again； “but then； that’s the deepest curse of all 。 。 。 that’s what
makes the blackness of it 。 。 。 it can never be undone。 My poor Hetty
。 。 。 she can never be my sweet Hetty again 。 。 。 the prettiest thing
God had made—smiling up at me 。 。 。 I thought she loved me 。 。 。
and was good 。 。 。 ”
Adam’s voice had been gradually sinking into a hoarse
undertone； as if he were only talking to himself； but now he said
abruptly； looking at Mr。 Irwine； “But she isn’t as guilty as they
say？ You don’t think she is； sir？ She can’t ha’ done it。”
“That perhaps can never be known with certainty； Adam；” Mr。
Irwine answered gently。 “In these cases we sometimes form our
judgment on what seems to us strong evidence； and yet； for want
of knowing some small fact； our judgment is wrong。 But suppose
the worst： you have no right to say that the guilt of her crime lies
with him； and that he ought to bear the punishment。 It is not for us
men to apportion the shares of moral guilt and retribution。 We
find it impossible to avoid mistakes even in determining who has
committed a single criminal act； and the problem how far a man is
to be held responsible for the unforeseen consequences of his own
deed is one that might well make us tremble to look into it。 The
evil consequences that may lie folded in a single act of selfish
indulgence is a thought so awful that it ought surely to awaken
some feeling less presumptuous than a rash desire to punish。 You
have a mind that can understand this fully； Adam； when you are
calm。 Don’t suppose I can’t enter into the anguish that drives you
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into this state of revengeful hatred。 But think of this： if you were to
obey your passion—for it is passion； and you deceive yourself in
calling it justice—it might be with you precisely as it has been with
Arthur； nay； worse； your passion might lead you yourself into a
horrible crime。”
“No—not worse；” said Adam； bitterly； “I don’t believe it’s
worse—I’d sooner do it—I’d sooner do a wickedness as I could
suffer for by myself than ha’ brought her to do wickedness and
then stand by and see ’em punish her while they let me alone； and
all for a bit o’ pleasure； as； if he’d had a man’s heart in him； he’d
ha’ cut his hand off sooner than he’d ha’ taken it。 What if he didn’t
foresee what’s happened？ He foresaw enough； he’d no right to
expect anything but harm and shame to her。 And then he wanted
to smooth it off wi’ lies。 No—there’s plenty o’ things folks are
hanged for not half so hateful as that。 Let a man do what he will； if
he knows he’s to bear the punishment himself； he isn’t half so bad
as a mean selfish coward as makes things easy t’ himself and
knows all the while the punishment ’ll fall on somebody else。”
“There again you partly deceive yourself； Adam。 There is no
sort of wrong deed of which a man can bear the punishment alone；
you can’t isolate yourself and say that the evil which is in you shall
not spread。 Men’s lives are as thoroughly blended with each other
as the air they breathe： evil spreads as necessarily as disease。 I
know； I feel the terrible extent of suffering this sin of Arthur’s has
caused to others； but so does every sin cause suffering to others
besides those who commit it。 An act of vengeance on your part
against Arthur would simply be another evil added to those we are
suffering under： you could not bear the punishment alone； you
would entail the worst sorrows on every one who loves you。 You
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would have committed an act of blind fury that would leave all the
present evils just as they were and add worse evils to them。 You
may tell me that you meditate no fatal act of vengeance； but the
feeling in your mind is what gives birth to such actions； and as
long as you indulge it； as long as you do not see that to fix your
mind on Arthur’s punishment is revenge； and not justice； you are
in danger of being led on to the commission of some great wrong。
Remember what you told me about your feelings after you had
given that blow to Arthur in the Grove。”
Adam was silent： the last words had called up a vivid image of
the past； and Mr。 Irwine left him to his thoughts； while he spoke to
Bartle Massey about old Mr。 Donnithorne’s funeral and other
matters of an indifferent kind。 But at length Adam turned round
and said； in a more subdued tone； “I’ve not asked about ’em at th’
Hall Farm； sir。 Is Mr。 Poyser coming？”
“He is come； he is in Stoniton to…night。 But I could not advise
him to see you； Adam。 His own mind is in a very perturbed state；
and it is best he should not see you till you are calmer。”
“Is Dinah Morris come to ’em； sir？ Seth said they’d sent for
her。”
“No。 Mr。 Poyser tells me she was not come when he left。
They’re afraid the letter has not reached her。 It seems they had no
exact address。”
Adam sat ruminating a little while； and then said； “I wonder if
Dinah ’ud ha’ gone to see her。 But perhaps the Poysers would ha’
been sorely against it； since they won’t come nigh her themselves。
But I think she would； for the Methodists are great folks for going
into the prisons； and Seth said he thought she would。 She’d a very
tender way with her； Dinah had； I wonder if she could ha’ done
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any good。 You never saw her； sir； did you？”
“Yes； I did。 I had a conversation with her—she pleased me a
good deal。 And now you mention it； I wish she would come； for it is
possible that a gentle mild woman like her might move Hetty to
open her heart。 The jail chaplain is rather harsh in his manner。”
“But it’s o’ no use if she doesn’t come；” said Adam sadly。
“If I’d thought of it earlier； I would have taken some measures
for finding her out；” said Mr。 Irwine； “but it’s too late now； I fear 。 。
。 Well； Adam； I must go now。 Try to get some rest to…night。 God
bless you。 I’ll see you early to…morrow morning。”
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Chapter XLII
The Morning of the Trial
t one o’clock the next day； Adam was alone in his dull
Aupper room； his watch lay before him on the table； as if he
were counting the long minutes。 He had no knowledge of
what was likely to be said by the witnesses on the trial； for he had
shrunk from all the particulars connected with Hetty’s arrest and
accusation。 This brave active man； who would have hastened
towards any danger or toil to rescue Hetty from an apprehended
wrong or misfortune； felt himself powerless to contemplate
irremediable evil and suffering。 The susceptibility which would
have been an impelling force where there was any possibility of
action became helpless anguish when he was obliged to be
passive； or else sought an active outlet in the thought of inflicting
justice on Arthur。 Energetic natures； strong for all strenuous
deeds； will often rush away from a hopeless sufferer； as if they
were hard…hearted。 It is the overmastering sense of pain that
drives them。 They shrink by an ungovernable instinct； as they
would shrink from laceration。 Adam had brought himself to think
of seeing Hetty； if she would consent to see him； because he
thought the meeting might possibly be a good to her—might help
to melt away this terrible hardness they told him of。 If she saw he
bore her no ill will for what she had done to him； she might open
her heart to him。 But this resolution had been an immense effort—
he trembled at the thought of seeing her changed face； as a timid
woman trembles at the thought of the surgeon’s knife； and he
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chose now to bear the long hours of suspense rather than
encounter what seemed to him the more intolerable agony of
witnessing her trial。
Deep unspeakable suffering may well be called a baptism； a
regeneration； the initiation into a new state。 The yearning
memories； the bitter regret； the agonised sympathy； the struggling
appeals to the Invisible Right—all the intense emotions which had
filled the days and nights of the past week； and were compressing
themselves again like an eager crowd into the hours of this single
morning； made Adam look back on all the previous years as if they
had been a dim sleepy existence； and he had only no
