adam bede(亚当[1].比德)-第131章
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face； and he would every now and then shake his head in serious
assent； or just lift up his hand and let it fall again。 And on some
mornings； when he read in the Apocrypha； of which he was very
fond； the son of Sirach’s keen…edged words would bring a
delighted smile； though he also enjoyed the freedom of
occasionally differing from an Apocryphal writer。 For Adam knew
the Articles quite well； as became a good churchman。
Lisbeth； in the pauses of attending to her dinner； always sat
opposite to him and watched him； till she could rest no longer
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without going up to him and giving him a caress； to call his
attention to her。 This morning he was reading the Gospel
according to St。 Matthew； and Lisbeth had been standing close by
him for some minutes； stroking his hair； which was smoother than
usual this morning； and looking down at the large page with silent
wonderment at the mystery of letters。 She was encouraged to
continue this caress； because when she first went up to him； he
had thrown himself back in his chair to look at her affectionately
and say； “Why； Mother； thee look’st rare and hearty this morning。
Eh； Gyp wants me t’ look at him。 He can’t abide to think I love
thee the best。” Lisbeth said nothing； because she wanted to say so
many things。 And now there was a new leaf to be turned over； and
it was a picture—that of the angel seated on the great stone that
has been rolled away from the sepulchre。 This picture had one
strong association in Lisbeth’s memory； for she had been
reminded of it when she first saw Dinah； and Adam had no sooner
turned the page； and lifted the book sideways that they might look
at the angel； than she said； “That’s her—that’s Dinah。”
Adam smiled； and； looking more intently at the angel’s face；
said； “It is a bit like her； but Dinah’s prettier； I think。”
“Well； then； if thee think’st her so pretty； why arn’t fond on
her？”
Adam looked up in surprise。 “Why； Mother； dost think I don’t
set store by Dinah？”
“Nay；” said Lisbeth； frightened at her own courage； yet feeling
that she had broken the ice； and the waters must flow； whatever
mischief they might do。 “What’s th’ use o’ settin’ store by things as
are thirty mile off？ If thee wast fond enough on her； thee
wouldstna let her go away。”
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“But I’ve no right t’ hinder her； if she thinks well；” said Adam；
looking at his book as if he wanted to go on reading。 He foresaw a
series of complaints tending to nothing。 Lisbeth sat down again in
the chair opposite to him； as she said：
“But she wouldna think well if thee wastna so contrairy。”
Lisbeth dared not venture beyond a vague phrase yet。
“Contrairy； mother？” Adam said； looking up again in some
anxiety。 “What have I done？ What dost mean？”
“Why； thee’t never look at nothin’； nor think o’ nothin’； but thy
figurin； an’ thy work；” said Lisbeth； half…crying。 “An’ dost think
thee canst go on so all thy life； as if thee wast a man cut out o’
timber？ An’ what wut do when thy mother’s gone； an’ nobody to
take care on thee as thee gett’st a bit o’ victual comfortable i’ the
mornin’？”
“What hast got i’ thy mind； Mother？” said Adam； vexed at this
whimpering。 “I canna see what thee’t driving at。 Is there anything
I could do for thee as I don’t do？”
“Aye； an’ that there is。 Thee might’st do as I should ha’
somebody wi’ me to comfort me a bit； an’ wait on me when I’m
bad； an’ be good to me。”
“Well； Mother； whose fault is it there isna some tidy body i’ th’
house t’ help thee？ It isna by my wish as thee hast a stroke o’ work
to do。 We can afford it—I’ve told thee often enough。 It ’ud be a
deal better for us。”
“Eh； what’s the use o’ talking o’ tidy bodies； when thee mean’st
one o’ th’ wenches out o’ th’ village； or somebody from Treddles’on
as I ne’er set eyes on i’ my life？ I’d sooner make a shift an’ get into
my own coffin afore I die； nor ha’ them folks to put me in。”
Adam was silent； and tried to go on reading。 That was the
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utmost severity he could show towards his mother on a Sunday
morning。 But Lisbeth had gone too far now to check herself； and
after scarcely a minute’s quietness she began again。
“Thee mightst know well enough who ’tis I’d like t’ ha’ wi’ me。
It isna many folks I send for t’ come an’ see me。 I reckon。 An’
thee’st had the fetchin’ on her times enow。”
“Thee mean’st Dinah； Mother； I know；” said Adam。 “But it’s no
use setting thy mind on what can’t be。 If Dinah ’ud be willing to
stay at Hayslope； it isn’t likely she can come away from her aunt’s
house； where they hold her like a daughter； and where she’s more
bound than she is to us。 If it had been so that she could ha’
married Seth； that ’ud ha’ been a great blessing to us； but we can’t
have things just as we like in this life。 Thee must try and make up
thy mind to do without her。”
“Nay； but I canna ma’ up my mind； when she’s just cut out for
thee； an’ nought shall ma’ me believe as God didna make her an’
send her there o’ purpose for thee。 What’s it sinnify about her
bein’ a Methody！ It ’ud happen wear out on her wi’ marryin’。”
Adam threw himself back in his chair and looked at his mother。
He understood now what she had been aiming at from the
beginning of the conversation。 It was as unreasonable；
impracticable a wish as she had ever urged； but he could not help
being moved by so entirely new an idea。 The chief point； however；
was to chase away the notion from his mother’s mind as quickly as
possible。
“Mother；” he said； gravely； “thee ’t talking wild。 Don’t let me
hear thee say such things again。 It’s no good talking o’ what can
never be。 Dinah’s not for marrying； she’s fixed her heart on a
different sort o’ life。”
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“Very like；” said Lisbeth； impatiently； “very like she’s none for
marr’ing； when them as she’d be willin’ t’ marry wonna ax her。 I
shouldna ha’ been for marr’ing thy feyther if he’d ne’er axed me；
an’ she’s as fond o’ thee as e’er I war o’ Thias； poor fellow。”
The blood rushed to Adam’s face； and for a few moments he
was not quite conscious where he was。 His mother and the kitchen
had vanished for him； and he saw nothing but Dinah’s face turned
up towards his。 It seemed as if there were a resurrection of his
dead joy。 But he woke up very speedily from that dream （the
waking was chill and sad）； for it would have been very foolish in
him to believe his mother’s words—she could have no ground for
them。 He was prompted to express his disbelief very strongly—
perhaps that he might call forth the proofs； if there were any to be
offered。
“What dost say such things for； Mother； when thee’st got no
foundation for ’em？ Thee know’st nothing as gives thee a right to
say that。”
“Then I knowna nought as gi’es me a right to say as the year’s
turned； for all I feel it fust thing when I get up i’ th’ morning。 She
isna fond o’ Seth； I reckon； is she？ She doesna want to marry him？
But I can see as she doesna behave tow’rt thee as she daes tow’rt
Seth。 She makes no more o’ Seth’s coming a…nigh her nor if he war
Gyp； but she’s all of a tremble when thee ’t a…sittin’ down by her at
breakfast an’ a…looking at her。 Thee think’st thy mother knows
nought； but she war alive afore thee wast born。”
“But thee canstna be sure as the trembling means love？” said
Adam anxiously。
“Eh； what else should it mane？ It isna hate； I reckon。 An’ what
should she do but love thee？ Thee’t made to be loved—for where’s
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there a straighter cliverer man？ An’ what’s it sinnify her bein’ a
Methody？ It’s on’y the marigold i’ th’ parridge。”
Adam had thrust his hands in his pockets； and was looking
down at the book on the table； without seeing any of the letters。 He
was trembling like a gold…seeker who sees the strong promise of
gold but sees in the same moment a sickening vision of
disappointment。 He could not trust his mother’s insight； she had
seen what she wished to see。 And yet—and yet； now the
suggestion had been made to him； he remembered so many
things； very slight things； like the stirring of the water by an
imperceptible breeze； which seemed to him some confirmation of
his mother’s words。
Lisbeth noticed that he was moved。 She went on； “An’ thee ’t
find out as thee ’t poorly aff when she’s gone。 Thee ’t fonder on her
nor thee know’st。 Thy eyes follow her about； welly as Gyp’s follow
thee。”
Adam could sit still no longer。 He rose； took down his hat； and
went out into the fields。
The sunshine was
