adam bede(亚当[1].比德)-第29章
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and restless； but would not leave his master； and was waiting
impatiently for some change in the scene。 It was owing to this
feeling on Gyp’s part that； when Lisbeth came into the workshop
and advanced towards Adam as noiselessly as she could； her
intention not to awaken him was immediately defeated； for Gyp’s
excitement was too great to find vent in anything short of a sharp
bark； and in a moment Adam opened his eyes and saw his mother
standing before him。 It was not very unlike his dream； for his sleep
had been little more than living through again； in a fevered
delirious way； all that had happened since daybreak； and his
mother with her fretful grief was present to him through it all。 The
chief difference between the reality and the vision was that in his
dream Hetty was continually coming before him in bodily
presence—strangely mingling herself as an actor in scenes with
which she had nothing to do。 She was even by the Willow Brook；
she made his mother angry by coming into the house； and he met
her with her smart clothes quite wet through； as he walked in the
rain to Treddleston； to tell the coroner。 But wherever Hetty came；
his mother was sure to follow soon； and when he opened his eyes；
it was not at all startling to see her standing near him。
“Eh； my lad； my lad！” Lisbeth burst out immediately； her
wailing impulse returning； for grief in its freshness feels the need
of associating its loss and its lament with every change of scene
and incident； “thee ’st got nobody now but thy old mother to
torment thee and be a burden to thee。 Thy poor feyther ’ull ne’er
anger thee no more； an’ thy mother may ’s well go arter him—the
sooner the better—for I’m no good to nobody now。 One old coat
’ull do to patch another； but it’s good for nought else。 Thee ’dst like
t’ ha’ a wife to mend thy clothes an’ get thy victual； better nor thy
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old mother。 An’ I shall be nought but cumber； a…sittin’ i’ th’
chimney…corner。 （Adam winced and moved uneasily； he dreaded；
of all things； to hear his mother speak of Hetty。） But if thy feyther
had lived； he’d ne’er ha’ wanted me to go to make room for
another； for he could no more ha’ done wi’out me nor one side o’
the scithers can do wi’out th’ tother。 Eh； we should ha’ been both
flung away together； an’ then I shouldna ha’ seen this day； an’ one
buryin’ ’ud ha’ done for us both。”
Here Lisbeth paused； but Adam sat in pained silence—he could
not speak otherwise than tenderly to his mother to…day； but he
could not help being irritated by this plaint。 It was not possible for
poor Lisbeth to know how it affected Adam any more than it is
possible for a wounded dog to know how his moans affect the
nerves of his master。 Like all complaining women； she complained
in the expectation of being soothed； and when Adam said nothing；
she was only prompted to complain more bitterly。
“I know thee couldst do better wi’out me； for thee couldst go
where thee likedst an’ marry them as thee likedst。 But I donna
want to say thee nay； let thee bring home who thee wut； I’d ne’er
open my lips to find faut； for when folks is old an’ o’ no use； they
may think theirsens well off to get the bit an’ the sup； though
they’n to swallow ill words wi’t。 An’ if thee ’st set thy heart on a
lass as’ll bring thee nought and waste all； when thee mightst ha’
them as ’ud make a man on thee； I’ll say nought； now thy feyther’s
dead an’ drownded； for I’m no better nor an old haft when the
blade’s gone。”
Adam； unable to bear this any longer； rose silently from the
bench and walked out of the workshop into the kitchen。 But
Lisbeth followed him。
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“Thee wutna go upstairs an’ see thy feyther then？ I’n done
everythin’ now； an’ he’d like thee to go an’ look at him； for he war
allays so pleased when thee wast mild to him。”
Adam turned round at once and said； “Yes； mother； let us go
upstairs。 Come； Seth； let us go together。”
They went upstairs； and for five minutes all was silence。 Then
the key was turned again； and there was a sound of footsteps on
the stairs。 But Adam did not come down again； he was too weary
and worn…out to encounter more of his mother’s querulous grief；
and he went to rest on his bed。 Lisbeth no sooner entered the
kitchen and sat down than she threw her apron over her head； and
began to cry and moan and rock herself as before。 Seth thought；
“She will be quieter by and by； now we have been upstairs”； and
he went into the back kitchen again； to tend his little fire； hoping
that he should presently induce her to have some tea。
Lisbeth had been rocking herself in this way for more than five
minutes； giving a low moan with every forward movement of her
body； when she suddenly felt a hand placed gently on hers； and a
sweet treble voice said to her； “Dear sister； the Lord has sent me
to see if I can be a comfort to you。”
Lisbeth paused； in a listening attitude； without removing her
apron from her face。 The voice was strange to her。 Could it be her
sister’s spirit come back to her from the dead after all those years？
She trembled and dared not look。
Dinah； believing that this pause of wonder was in itself a relief
for the sorrowing woman； said no more just yet； but quietly took
off her bonnet； and then； motioning silence to Seth； who； on
hearing her voice； had come in with a beating heart； laid one hand
on the back of Lisbeth’s chair and leaned over her； that she might
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be aware of a friendly presence。
Slowly Lisbeth drew down her apron； and timidly she opened
her dim dark eyes。 She saw nothing at first but a face—a pure；
pale face； with loving grey eyes； and it was quite unknown to her。
Her wonder increased； perhaps it was an angel。 But in the same
instant Dinah had laid her hand on Lisbeth’s again； and the old
woman looked down at it。 It was a much smaller hand than her
own； but it was not white and delicate； for Dinah had never worn a
glove in her life； and her hand bore the traces of labour from her
childhood upwards。 Lisbeth looked earnestly at the hand for a
moment； and then； fixing her eyes again on Dinah’s face； said； with
something of restored courage； but in a tone of surprise； “Why；
ye’re a workin’ woman！”
“Yes； I am Dinah Morris； and I work in the cotton…mill when I
am at home。”
“Ah！” said Lisbeth slowly； still wondering； “ye comed in so
light； like the shadow on the wall； an’ spoke i’ my ear； as I thought
ye might be a sperrit。 Ye’ve got a’most the face o’ one as is a…sittin’
on the grave i’ Adam’s new Bible。”
“I come from the Hall Farm now。 You know Mrs。 Poyser—she’s
my aunt； and she has heard of your great affliction； and is very
sorry； and I’m come to see if I can be any help to you in your
trouble； for I know your sons Adam and Seth； and I know you
have no daughter； and when the clergyman told me how the hand
of God was heavy upon you； my heart went out towards you； and I
felt a command to come and be to you in the place of a daughter in
this grief； if you will let me。”
“Ah！ I know who y’ are now； y’ are a Methody； like Seth； he’s
tould me on you；” said Lisbeth fretfully； her overpowering sense of
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pain returning； now her wonder was gone。 “Ye’ll make it out as
trouble’s a good thing； like he allays does。 But where’s the use o’
talkin’ to me a…that’n？ Ye canna make the smart less wi’ talkin’。
Ye’ll ne’er make me believe as it’s better for me not to ha’ my old
man die in’s bed； if he must die； an’ ha’ the parson to pray by him；
an’ me to sit by him； an’ tell him ne’er to mind th’ ill words I’ve
gi’en him sometimes when I war angered； an’ to gi’ him a bit an’ a
sup； as long as a bit an’ a sup he’d swallow。 But eh！ To die i’ the
cold water； an’ us close to him； an’ ne’er to know； an’ me a…
sleepin’； as if I ne’er belonged to him no more nor if he’d been a
journeyman tramp from nobody knows where！”
Here Lisbeth began to cry and rock herself again； and Dinah
said； “Yes； dear friend； your affliction is great。 It would be
hardness of heart to say that your trouble was not heavy to bear。
God didn’t send me to you to make light of your sorrow； but to
mourn with you； if you will let me。 If you had a table spread for a
feast； and was making merry with your friends； you would think it
was kind to let me come and sit down and rejoice with you；
because you’d think I should like to share those good things； but I
should like better to share in your trouble and your labour； and it
would seem harder to me if you denied me that。 You won’t send
me away？ You’re not angry with me for coming？”
“Nay； nay； angered！ who said I war angered？ It war good on
you to come。 An’ Seth； why donna ye get her some tay？ Ye war in
a hurry to get some for me； as had no need； but ye donna thi
