the daisy chain, or aspirations-第10章

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motherless　Daisy！〃




CHAPTER　V。



Through　lawless　camp；　through　ocean　wild；
Her　prophet　eye　pursues　her　child；
Scans　mournfully　her　poet's　strain；
Fears　for　her　merchant；　loss　alike　and　gain。〃
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　LYRA　INNOCENTIUM。


Dr。　May　took　the　management　of　himself　into　his　own　hands；　and　paid
so　little　attention　to　Mr。　Ward's　recommendations　that　his　sons　and
daughters　were　in　continual　dread　of　his　choosing　to　do　something
that　might　cause　injurious　agitation。

However；　he　did　not　go　further　than　Margaret's　bedroom　where　he　sat
hour　after　hour　his　eyes　fixed　upon　her；　as　she　continued　in　a　state
bordering　on　insensibility。　　He　took　little　notice　of　anything　else；
and　hardly　spoke。　　There　were　heavy　sighs　now　and　then；　but　Richard
and　Flora；　one　or　other　of　whom　were　always　watching　him；　could
hardly　tell　whether　to　ascribe　them　to　the　oppression　of　sorrow　or　of
suffering。　　Their　great　fear　was　of　his　insisting　on　seeing　his
wife's　face；　and　it　was　a　great　relief　that　he　never　alluded　to　her；
except　once；　to　desire　Richard　to　bring　him　her　ring。　　Richard
silently　obeyed；　and；　without　a　word；　he　placed　it　on　his　little
finger。　　Richard　used　to　read　the　Psalms　to　him　in　the　morning；
before　he　was　up；　and　Flora　would　bring　little　Daisy　and　lay　her　by
his　side。

To　the　last　moment　they　dreaded　his　choosing　to　attend　the　funeral；
and　Flora　had　decided　on　remaining　at　home；　though　trembling　at　the
thought　of　what　there　might　be　to　go　through。　　They　tried　to　let　him
hear　nothing　about　it；　but　he　seemed　to　know　everything；　and　when
Flora　came　into　Margaret's　room　without　her　bonnet；　he　raised　his
head；　and　said；　〃I　thought　you　were　all　going。〃

〃The　others　arebut　may　I　not　stay　with　you　and　her；　papa？〃

〃I　had　rather　be　alone；　my　dears。　　I　will　take　care　of　her。　　I　should
wish　you　all　to　be　there。〃

They　decided　that　his　wishes　ought　to　be　followed；　and　that　the
patients　must　be　entrusted　to　old　nurse。　　Richard　told　Flora；　who
looked　very　pale；　that　she　would　be　glad　of　it　afterwards；　and　she
had　his　arm　to　lean　upon。

The　grave　was　in　the　cloister　attached　to　the　minster；　a　smooth　green
square　of　turf；　marked　here　and　there　with　small　flat　lozenges　of
stone；　bearing　the　date　and　initials　of　those　who　lay　there；　and　many
of　them　recording　former　generations　of　Mays；　to　whom　their　descent
from　the　headmaster　had　given　a　right　of　burial　there。　　Dr。　Hoxton；
Mr。　Wilmot；　and　the　surgeon；　were　the　only　friends　whom　Richard　had
asked　to　be　with　them；　but　the　minster　was　nearly　full；　for　there　was
a　very　strong　attachment　and　respect　for　Dr。　and　Mrs。　May　throughout
the　neighbourhood；　and　every　one's　feelings　were　strongly　excited。

〃In　the　midst　of　life；　we　are　in　death〃　There　was　a　universal　sound
as　of　a　sort　of　sob；　that　Etheldred　never　disconnected　from　those
words。　　Yet　hardly　one　tear　was　shed　by　the　young　things　who　stood　as
close　as　they　could　round　the　grave。　　Harry　and　Mary　did　indeed　lock
their　hands　together　tightly；　and　the　shoulders　of　the　former　shook
as　he　stood；　bowing　down　his　head；　but　the　others　were　still　and
quiet；　in　part　from　awe　and　bewilderment；　but　partly；　too；　from　a
sense　that　it　was　against　her　whole　nature　that　there　should　be
clamorous　mourning　for　her。　　The　calm　still　day　seemed　to　tell　them
the　same；　the　sun　beaming　softly　on　the　gray　arches　and　fresh　grass；
the　sky　clear　and　blue；　and　the　trees　that　showed　over　the　walls
bright　with　autumn　colouring；　all　suitable　to　the　serenity　of　a　life
unclouded　to　its　last　moment。　　Some　of　them　felt　as　if　it　were　better
to　be　there　than　in　their　saddened　desolate　home。

But　home　they　must　go；　and；　before　going　upstairs；　as　Flora　and
Etheldred　stood　a　moment　or　two　with　Norman；　Ethel　said　in　a　tone　of
resolution；　and　of　some　cheerfulness；　〃Well；　we　have　to　begin
afresh。〃

〃Yes；〃　said　Flora；　〃it　is　a　great　responsibility。　　I　do　trust　we　may
be　enabled　to　do　as　we　ought。〃

〃And　now　Margaret　is　getting　better；　she　will　be　our　stay；〃　said
Ethel。

〃I　must　go　to　her；〃　and　Flora　went　upstairs。

〃I　wish　I　could　be　as　useful　as　Flora；〃　said　Ethel；　but　I　mean　to
try；　and　if　I　can　but　keep　out　of　mischief；　it　will　be　something。

〃There　is　an　object　for　all　one　does；　in　trying　to　be　a　comfort　to
papa。〃

〃That's　no　use；〃　said　Norman；　listlessly。　〃We　never　can。〃

〃Oh；　but；　Norman；　he　won't　be　always　as　he　is　nowI　am　sure　he　cares
for　us　enough　to　be　pleased；　if　we　do　right　and　get　on。〃

〃We　used　to　be　so　happy！〃　said　Norman。

Ethel　hesitated　a　little；　and　presently　answered；　〃I　don't　think　it
can　be　right　to　lament　for　our　own　sakes　so　much；　is　it？〃

〃I　don't　want　to　do　so；〃　said　Norman；　in　the　same　dejected　way。

〃I　suppose　we　ought　not　to　feel　it　either。〃　　Norman　only　shook　his
head。　　〃We　ought　to　think　of　her　gain。　　You　can't？　　Well；　I　am　glad；
for　no　more　can　I。　　I　can't　think　of　her　liking　for　papa　and　baby　and
all　of　us　to　be　left　to　ourselves。　　But　that's　not　right　of　me；　and
of　course　it　all　comes　right　where　she　is；　so　I　always　put　that　out
of　my　head；　and　think　what　is　to　come　next　in　doing；　and　pleasing
papa；　and　learning。〃

〃That's　grown　horrid；〃　said　Norman。　　〃There's　no　pleasure　in　getting
on；　nor　in　anything。〃

〃Don't　you　care　for　papa　and　all　of　us　being　glad；　Norman？〃　　As
Norman　could　not　just　then　say　that　he　did；　he　would　not　answer。

〃I　wish〃　said　Ethel；　disappointed；　but　cheering　up　the　next　minute。
〃I　do　believe　it　is　having　nothing　to　do。　　You　will　be　better　when
you　get　back　to　school　on　Monday。〃

〃That　is　worst　of　all！〃

〃You　don't　like　going　among　the　boys　again？　　But　that　must　be　done
some　time　or　other。　　Or　shall　I　get　Richard　to　speak　to　Dr。　Hoxton　to
let　you　have　another　week's　leave？〃

〃No；　no；　don't　be　foolish。　　It　can't　be　helped。〃

〃I　am　very　sorry；　but　I　think　you　will　be　better　for　it。〃

She　almost　began　to　fancy　herself　unfeeling；　when　she　found　him　so
much　more　depressed　than　she　was　herself；　and　unable　to　feel　it　a
relief　to　know　that　the　time　of　rest　and　want　of　occupation　was　over。
She　thought　it　light…minded；　though　she　could　not　help　it；　to　look
forward　to　the　daily　studies　where　she　might　lose　her　sad　thoughts
and　be　as　if　everything　were　as　usual。　　But　suppose　she　should　be　to
blame；　where　would　now　be　the　gentle　discipline？　　Poor　Ethel's
feelings　were　not　such　as　to　deserve　the　imputation　of　levity；　when
this　thought　came　over　her；　but　her　buoyant　mind；　always　seeking　for
consolation；　recurred　to　Margaret's　improvement；　and　she　fixed　her
hopes　on　her。

Margaret　was　more　alive　to　surrounding　objects；　and；　when　roused；　she
knew　them　all；　answered　clearly　when　addressed；　had　even；　more　than
once；　spoken　of　her　own　accord；　and　shown　solicitude　at　the　sight　of
her　father's　bandaged；　helpless　arm；　but　he　soon　soothed　this　away。
He　was　more　than　ever　watchful　over　her；　and　could　scarcely　be
persuaded　to　leave　her　for　one　moment；　in　his　anxiety　to　be　at　hand
to　answer；　when　first　she　should　speak　of　her　mother；　a　moment
apprehended　by　all　the　rest；　almost　as　much　for　his　sake　as　for　hers。

So　clear　had　her　perceptions　been；　and　so　much　more　awake　did　she
appear；　on　this　evening；　that　he　expected　the　inquiry　to　come　every
moment；　and　lingered　in　her　room；　till　she　asked　the　hour；　and　begged
him　to　go　to　bed。

As　he　bent　over　her；　she　looked　up　in　his　face；　and　said　softly；
〃Dear　papa。〃

There　was　that　in　her　tone　which　showed　she　perceived　the　truth；　and
he　knelt　by　her　side　kissing　her；　but　not　daring　to　relax　his
restraint　of　feeling。

〃Dear　papa；〃　she　said　again；　〃I　hope　I　shall　soon　be　better；　and　be
some　comfort　to　you。〃

〃My　bestmy　ownmy　comfort；〃　he　murmured；　all　he　could　say　without
giving　way。〃

〃Babyis　she　well？〃

〃Yes；　thank　Heaven；　she　has　not　suffered　at　all。〃

〃I　heard　her　this　morning；　I　must　see　her　to…morrow。　　But　don't　stay；
dear；　dear　papa；　it　is　late；　and　I　am　sure　you　are　not　at　all　well。
Your　armis　it　very　much　hurt？〃

〃It　is　nothing　you　need　think　about；　my　dear。　　I　am　much　better　than
I　could　have　imagined　possible。〃

〃And　you　have　been　nursing　me　all　the　time！　　Papa；　you　must　let　me
take　care　of　you　now。　　Do　pray　go　to　bed　at　once；　and　get　up　late。
Nurse　will　take　good　care　of　me。　　Good…night；　dear　papa。〃

When　Dr。　May　had　left　her；　and　tried　to　tell　Richard　how　it　had　been；
the　tears　cut　him　short；　and　had　their　free　course；　but　there　was
much　of　thankfulness；　for　it　might　be　looked　on　as　the　restoration　of
his　daughter；　the　worst　was　over；　and　the　next　day　he　was　able　to
think　of　other　things；　had　more　attention　to　spare　for　the　rest；　and
when　the　surgeon　came；　took　some　professional　interest　in　the
condition　of　his　own　arm；　inquired　after　his　patients；　and　even
talked　of　visiting　them。

In　the　meantime；　Margaret　sent　for　her　eldest　brother；　begging　him　to
tell　her　the　whole；　and　it　was　heard　as　calmly　and　firmly　as　it　was
told。　　Her　bodily　state　lulled　her　mind；　and　besides　it　was　not　new；
she　had　observed　much　while　her　faculties　were　still　too　much
benumbed　for　her　to　understand　all；　or　to　express　her　feelings。　　Her
thoughts　seemed　chiefly　occupied　with　her　father。　　She　made　Richard
explain　to　her　the　injury　he　had　suffered；　and　begged　to　know　whether
his　constant　attendance　on　her　could　do　him　harm。　　She　was　much
rejoiced　when　her　brother　assured　her　that　nothing　could　be　better
for　him；　and　she　began　to　say；　with　a　smile；　that　very　likely　her
being　hurt　had　been　fortunate。　　She　asked　who　had　taken　care　of　him
before　Richard's　arrival；　and　was　pleased　to　hear　that　it　was　Mr。
Ernescliffe。　　A　visit　from　the　little　Gertrude　Margaret　was　happily
accomplished；　and；　on　the　whole；　the　day　was　most　satisfactoryshe
herself　declaring　that　she　could　not　see　that　there　was　anything　the
matter　with　her；　except　that　she　felt　lazy；　and　did　not　seem　able　to
move。

Thus　the　next　Sunday　morning　dawned　with　more　cheerfulness。　Dr。　May
came　downstairs　for　the　first　time；　in　order　to　go　to　church　with　his
whole　flock；　except　the　two　Margarets。　　He　looked　very　wan　and
shattered；　but　they　clustered　gladly　round　him；　when　he　once　more
stood　among　them；　little　Blanche　securing　his　hand；　and　nodding
triumphantly　to　Mr。　Ernescliffe；　as　much　as　to　say；　〃Now　I　have　him；
I　don't　want　you。〃

Norman　alone　was　missing；　but　he　was　in　his　place　at　church　among　the
boys。　　Again；　in　returning；　he　slipped　out　of　the　party；　and　was　at
home　the　first；　and　when　this　recurred　in　the　afternoon　Ethel　began
to　understand　his　motive。　　The　High　Street　led　past　the　spot　where
the　accident　had　taken　place；　though　neither　she　nor　any　of　the
others　knew　exactly　where　it　was；　except　Norman；　on　whose　mind　the
scene　was　branded　indelibly；　she　guessed　that　it　was　to　avoid　it　that
he　went　along　what　was　called　Randall's　Alley；　his　usual　short　cut　to
school。

The　Sunday　brought　back　to　the　children　that　there　was　no　one　to　hear
their　hymns；　but　Richard　was　a　great　comfort；　watching　over　the
little　ones　more　like　a　sister　than　a　brother。　　Ethel　was　ashamed　of
herself　when　she　saw　him　taking　thought　for　them；　tying　Blanche's
bonnet；　putting　Aubrey's　gloves　on；　teaching　them　to　put　away　their
Sunday　toys；　as　if　he　meant　them　to　be　as　ne