the daisy chain, or aspirations-第16章

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〃Charming！〃　cried　Ethel；　〃that's　your　capital　management；　Flora；
nurse　thinks　she　has　done　it　all　herself。〃

〃She　is　your　charge　though；〃　said　Flora；　〃coming　from　your　own
beloved　Cocksmoor。〃

Lucy　Taylor　came　in；　looking　very　nice；　and　very　shy；　curtseying　low；
in　extreme　awe　of　the　pale　lady　in　bed。　　Margaret　was　much　pleased
with　her；　and　there　was　no　more　to　be　done　but　to　settle　that　she
should　come　on　Saturday；　and　to　let　nurse　take　her　into　the　town　to
invest　her　with　the　universal　blackness　of　the　household；　where　the
two　Margarets　were　the　only　white　things。

This　arranged；　and　the　walking　party　set　forth；　Ethel　sat　down　by　her
sister's　bed；　and　began　to　assist　in　unpicking　the　merino；　telling
Margaret　how　much　obliged　she　was　to　her　for　thinking　of　it；　and　how
grieved　at　having　been　so　ungrateful　in　the　morning。　　She　was　very
happy　over　her　contrivances；　cutting　out　under　her　sister's
superintendence。　　She　had　forgotten　the　morning's　annoyance；　till
Margaret　said；　〃I　have　been　thinking　of　what　you　said　about　Miss
Winter；　and　really　I　don't　know　what　is　to　be　done。〃

〃Oh；　Margaret；　I　did　not　mean　to　worry　you；〃　said　Ethel；　sorry　to　see
her　look　uneasy。

〃I　like　you　to　te11　me　everything；　dear　Ethel；　but　I　don't　see
clearly　the　best　course。　　We　must　go　on　with　Miss　Winter。〃

〃Of　course；〃　said　Ethe1；　shocked　at　her　murmurs　having　even　suggested
the　possibility　of　a　change；　and　having；　as　well　as　all　the　others；　a
great　respect　and　affection　for　her　governess。

〃We　could　not　get　on　without　her　even　if　I　were　well；〃　continued
Margaret；　and　dear　mamma　had　such　perfect　trust　in　her；　and　we　all
know　and　love　her　so　wellit　would　make　us　put　up　with　a　great
deal。〃

〃It　is　all　my　own　fault；〃　said　Ethel；　only　anxious　to　make　amends　to
Miss　Winter。　　〃I　wish　you　would　not　say　anything　about　it。〃

〃Yes；　it　does　seem　wrong　even　to　think　of　it；〃　said　Margaret；　〃when
she　has　been　so　very　kind。　　It　is　a　blessing　to　have　any　one　to　whom
Mary　and　Blanche　may　so　entirely　be　trusted。　　But　for　you〃

〃It　is　my　own　fault；〃　repeated　Ethel。

〃I　don't　think　it　is　quite　all　your　own　fault；〃　said　Margaret；　〃and
that　is　the　difficulty。　　I　know　dear　mamma　thought　Miss　Winter　an
excellent　governess　for　the　little　ones；　but　hardly　up　to　you；　and
she　saw　that　you　worried　and　fidgeted　each　other；　so；　you　know；　she
used　to　keep　the　teaching　of　you　a　good　deal　in　her　own　hands。〃

〃I　did　not　know　that　was　the　reason；〃　said　Ethel；　overpowered　by　the
recollection　of　the　happy　morning's　work　she　had　often　done　in　that
very　room；　when　her　mother　had　not　been　equal　to　the　bustle　of　the
whole　school…room。　　That　watchful；　protecting；　guarding；　mother's
love；　a　shadow　of　Providence；　had　been　round　them　so　constantly　on
every　side；　that　they　had　been　hardly　conscious　of　it　till　it　was
lost　to　them。

〃Was　it　not　like　her？〃　said　Margaret；　〃but　now；　my　poor　Ethel；　I
don't　think　it　would　be　right　by　you　or　by　Miss　Winter；　to　take　you
out　of　the　school…room。　　I　think　it　would　grieve　her。〃

〃I　would　not　do　that　for　the　world。〃

〃Especially　after　her　kind　nursing　of　me；　and　even；　with　more　reason；
it　would　not　be　becoming　in　us　to　make　changes。　　Besides；　King
Etheldred；〃　said　Margaret；　smiling；　〃we　all　know　you　are　a　little　bit
of　a　sloven；　and；　as　nurse　says；　some　one　must　be　always　after　you；
and　do　you　know？　even　if　I　were　well；　I　had　rather　it　was　Miss　Winter
than　me。〃

〃Oh；　no；　you　would　not　be　formal　and　preciseyou　would　not　make　me
cross。〃

〃Perhaps　you　might　make　me　so；〃　said　Margaret；　〃or　I　should　let　you
alone；　and　leave　you　a　slattern。　　We　should　both　hate　it　so！　　No；
don't　make　me　your　mistress；　Ethel　dearlet　me　be　your　sister　and
play…fellow　still；　as　well　as　I　can。〃

〃You　are；　you　are。　　I　don't　care　half　so　much　when　I　have　got　you。〃

〃And　will　you　try　to　bear　with　her；　and　remember　it　is　right　in　the
main；　though　it　is　troublesome？　〃

〃That　I　will。　　I　won't　plague　you　again。　　I　know　it　is　bad　for　you；
you　look　tired。〃

〃Pray　don't　leave　off　telling　me；〃　said　Margaret〃it　is　just　what　I
wish　on　my　own　account；　and　I　know　it　is　comfortable　to　have　a　good
grumble。〃

〃If　it　does　not　hurt　you；　but　I　am　sure　you　are　not　easy　noware
you？〃

〃Only　my　back；〃　said　Margaret。　　〃I　have　been　sitting　up　longer　than
usual；　and　it　is　tired。　　Will　you　call　nurse　to　lay　me　flat　again？

The　nursery　was　desertedall　were　out；　and　Ethel　came　back　in
trepidation　at　the　notion　of　having　to　do　it　herself；　though　she　knew
it　was　only　to　put　one　arm　to　support　her　sister；　while；　with　the
other；　she　removed　the　pillows；　but　Ethel　was　conscious　of　her　own
awkwardness　and　want　of　observation；　nor　had　Margaret　entire　trust　in
her。　　Still　she　was　too　much　fatigued　to　wait；　so　Ethel　was　obliged
to　do　her　best。　　She　was　careful　and　frightened；　and　therefore　slow
and　unsteady。　　She　trusted　that　all　was　right；　and　Margaret　tried　to
believe　so；　though　still　uneasy。

Ethel　began　to　read　to　her；　and　Dr。　May　came　home。　She　looked　up
smiling；　and　asked　where　he　had　been；　but　it　was　vain　to　try　to　keep
him　from　reading　her　face。　　He　saw　in　an　instant　that　something　was
amiss；　and　drew　from　her　a　confession　that　her　back　was　aching　a
little。　　He　knew　she　might　have　said　a　great　dealshe　was　not　in　a
comfortable　positionshe　must　be　moved。　　She　shook　her　headshe　had
rather　waitthere　was　a　dread　of　being　again　lifted　by　Ethel　that
she　could　not　entirely　hide。　　Ethel　was　distressed；　Dr。　May　was
angry；　and；　no　wonder；　when　he　saw　Margaret　suffer；　felt　his　own
inability　to　help；　missed　her　who　had　been　wont　to　take　all　care　from
his　hands；　and　was　vexed　to　see　a　tall　strong　girl　of　fifteen；　with
the　full　use　of　both　arms；　and　plenty　of　sense；　incapable　of　giving
any　assistance；　and　only　doing　harm　by　trying。

〃It　is　of　no　use；〃　said　he。　　〃Ethel　will　give　no　attention　to
anything　but　her　books！　　I've　a　great　mind　to　put　an　end　to　all　the
Latin　and　Greek！　　She　cares　for　nothing　else。〃

Ethel　could　little　brook　injustice；　and　much　as　she　was　grieving；　she
exclaimed；　〃Papa；　papa；　I　do　carenow　don't　I；　Margaret？　　I　did　my
best！〃

〃Don't　talk　nonsense。　　Your　best；　indeed！　　If　you　had　taken　the　most
moderate　care〃

〃I　believe　Ethel　took　rather　too　much　care；〃　said　Margaret；　much　more
harassed　by　the　scolding　than　by　the　pain。　　〃It　will　be　all　right
presently。　　Never　mind；　dear　papa。〃

But　he　was　not　only　grieved　for　the　present；　but　anxious　for　the
future；　and；　though　he　knew　it　was　bad　for　Margaret　to　manifest　his
displeasure；　he　could　not　restrain　it；　and　continued　to　blame　Ethel
with　enough　of　injustice　to　set　her　on　vindication；　whereupon　he
silenced　her；　by　telling　her　she　was　making　it　worse　by　self…
justification　when　Margaret　ought　to　be　quiet。　　Margaret　tried　to
talk　of　other　things；　but　was　in　too　much　discomfort　to　exert　herself
enough　to　divert　his　attention。

At　last　Flora　returned；　and　saw　in　an　instant　what　was　wanted。
Margaret　was　settled　in　the　right　posture；　but　the　pain　would　not
immediately　depart；　and　Dr。　May　soon　found　out　that　she　had　a
headache；　of　which　he　knew　he　was　at　least　as　guilty　as　Etheldred
could　be。

Nothing　could　be　done　but　keep　her　quiet；　and　Ethe1　went　away　to　be
miserable；　Flora　tried　to　comfort　her　by　saying　it　was　unfortunate；
but　no　doubt　there　was　a　knack；　and　everyone　could　not　manage　those
things；　Margaret　was　easier　now；　and　as　to　papa's　anger；　he　did　not
always　mean　all　he　said。

But　consolation　came　at　bedtime；　Margaret　received　her　with　open　arms
when　she　went　to　wish　her　goodnight。　　〃My　poor　Ethel；〃　she　said；
holding　her　close；　〃I　am　sorry　I　have　made　such　a　fuss。〃

〃Oh；　you　did　not；　it　was　too　bad　of　meI　am　grieved；　are　you　quite
comfortable　now？〃

〃Yes；　quite；　only　a　little　headache；　which　I　shall　sleep　off。　　It　has
been　so　nice　and　quiet。　　Papa　took　up　George　Herbert；　and　has　been
reading　me　choice　bits。　　I　don't　think　I　have　enjoyed　anything　so
much　since　I　have　been　ill。〃

〃I　am　glad　of　that；　but　I　have　been　unhappy　all　the　evening。　　I　wish
I　knew　what　to　do。　　I　am　out　of　heart　about　everything！〃

〃Only　try　to　mind　and　heed；　and　you　will　learn。　　It　will　be　a　step　if
you　will　only　put　your　shoes　side　by　side　when　you　take　them　off。〃

Ethel　smiled　and　sighed；　and　Margaret　whispered；　〃Don't　grieve　about
me；　but　put　your　clever　head　to　rule　your　hands；　and　you　will　do　for
home　and　Cocksmoor　too。　　Good…night；　dearest。〃

〃I've　vexed　papa；〃　sighed　Etheland　just　then　he　came　into　the　room。

〃Papa；〃　said　Margaret；　〃here's　poor　Ethel；　not　half　recovered　from
her　troubles。〃

He　was　now　at　ease　about　Margaret；　and　knew　he　had　been　harsh　to
another　of　his　motherless　girls。

〃Ah！　we　must　send　her　to　the　infant…school；　to　learn　'this　is　my
right　hand；　and　this　is　my　left；'〃　said　he；　in　his　half…gay；　half…sad
manner。

〃I　was　very　stupid；〃　said　Ethel。

〃Poor　child！〃　said　her　papa；　〃she　is　worse　off　than　I　am。　　If　I　have
but　one　hand　left；　she　has　two　left　hands。〃

〃I　do　mean　to　try；　papa。〃

〃Yes；　you　must；　Ethel。　　I　believe　I　was　hasty　with　you；　my　poor　girl。
I　was　vexed；　and　we　have　no　one　to　smooth　us　down。　　I　am　sorry；　my
dear；　but　you　must　bear　with　me；　for　I　never　learned　her　ways　with
you　when　I　might。　　We　will　try　to　have　more　patience　with　each
other。〃

What　could　Ethel　do　but　hang　round　his　neck　and　cry；　till　he　said；
but　tenderly；　that　they　had　given　Margaret　quite　disturbance　enough
to…day；　and　sent　her　to　bed；　vowing　to　watch　each　little　action；　lest
she　should　again　give　pain　to　such　a　father　and　sister。




CHAPTER　VIII。



〃Tis　not　enough　that　Greek　or　Roman　page
　At　stated　hours；　his　freakish　thoughts　engage；
　Even　in　his　pastimes　he　requires　a　friend
　To　warn　and　teach　him　safely　to　unbend；
　O'er　all　his　pleasures　gently　to　preside；
　Watch　his　emotions；　and　control　their　tide。〃COWPER。


The　misfortunes　of　that　day　disheartened　and　disconcerted　Etheldred。
To　do　mischief　where　she　most　wished　to　do　good；　to　grieve　where　she
longed　to　comfort；　seemed　to　be　her　fate；　it　was　vain　to　attempt
anything　for　anyone's　good；　while　all　her　warm　feelings　and　high
aspirations　were　thwarted　by　the　awkward　ungainly　hands　and　heedless
eyes　that　Nature　had　given　her。　　Nor　did　the　following　day；　Saturday；
do　much　for　her　comfort；　by　giving　her　the　company　of　her　brothers。
That　it　was　Norman's　sixteenth　birthday　seemed　only　to　make　it　worse。
Their　father　had　apparently　forgotten　it；　and　Norman　stopped　Blanche
when　she　was　going　to　put　him　in　mind　of　it；　stopped　her　by　such　a
look　as　the　child　never　forgot；　though　there　was　no　anger　in　it。　　In
reply　to　Ethel's　inquiry　what　he　was　going　to　do　that　morning；　he
gave　a　yawn　and　stretch；　and　said；　dejectedly；　that　he　had　got　some
Euripides　to　look　over；　and　some　verses　to　finish。

〃I　am　sorry；　this　is　the　first　time　you　ever　have　not　managed　so　as
to　make　a　real　holiday　of　your　Saturday！〃

〃I　could　not　help　it；　and　there's　nothing　to　do；〃　said　Norman
wearily。

〃I　promised　to　go　and　read　to　Margaret　while　Flora　does　her　music；〃
said　Ethel；　〃I　shall　come　after　that　and　do　my　Latin　and　Greek　with
you。〃

Margaret　would　not　keep　her　long；　saying　she　liked　her　to　be　with
Norman；　but　she　found　him　with　his　head　sun