the daisy chain, or aspirations-第21章

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it　is　time　to　take　measures。　　Don't　you　see；　Margaret？〃

〃It　is　time；　as　you　say；〃　answered　Margaret　reflectingly；　and　sadly
surveying　the　bright　boy；　rosy　cheeked；　round　faced；　and　blue　eyed；
with　the　childish　gladsomeness　of　countenance；　that　made　it　strange
that　his　lot　in　life　should　be　already　in　the　balance。

〃I　know　what　you　will　all　tell　me；　that　it　is　a　hard　life；　but　I　must
get　my　own　living　some　way　or　other；　and　I　should　like　that　way　the
best；〃　said　he　earnestly。

〃Should　you　like　to　be　always　far　from　home？〃

〃I　should　come　home　sometimes；　and　bring　such　presents　to　Mary；　and
baby；　and　all　of　you；　and　I　don't　know　what　else　to　be；　Margaret。　　I
should　hate　to　be　a　doctorI　can't　abide　sick　people；　and　I　couldn't
write　sermons；　so　I　can't　be　a　clergyman；　and　I　won't　be　a　lawyer；　I
vow；　for　Harvey　Anderson　is　to　be　a　lawyerso　there's　nothing　left
but　soldiers　and　sailors；　and　I　mean　to　be　a　sailor！〃

〃Well；　Harry；　you　may　do　your　duty；　and　try　to　do　right；　if　you　are　a
sailor；　and　that　is　the　point。〃

〃Ay；　I　was　sure　you　would　not　set　your　face　against　it；　now　you　know
Alan　Ernescliffe。〃

〃If　you　were　to　be　like　him〃　Margaret　found　herself　blushing；　and
broke　off。

〃Then　you　will　ask　papa　about　it？〃

〃You　had　better　do　so　yourself。　　Boys　had　better　settle　such　serious
affairs　with　their　fathers；　without　setting　their　sisters　to
interfere。　　What's　the　matter；　Harryyou　are　not　afraid　to　speak　to
papa？〃

〃Only　for　one　thing；〃　said　Harry。　〃Margaret；　I　went　out　to　shoot　pee…
wits　last　Saturday　with　two　fellows；　and　I　can't　speak　to　papa　while
that's　on　my　mind。〃

〃Then　you　had　better　tell　him　at　once。〃

〃I　knew　you　would　say　so；　but　it　would　be　like　a　girl；　and　it　would
be　telling　of　the　two　fellows。〃

〃Not　at　all；　papa　would　not　care　about　them。〃

〃You　see；〃　said　Harry；　twisting　a　little；　〃I　knew　I　ought　not；　but
they　said　I　was　afraid　of　a　gun；　and　that　I　had　no　money。　　Now　I　see
that　was　chaff；　but　I　didn't　then；　and　Norman　wasn't　there。〃

〃I　am　so　glad　you　have　told　me　all　this；　Harry　dear；　for　I　knew　you
had　been　less　at　home　of　late；　and　I　was　almost　afraid　you　were　not
going　on　quite　well。〃

〃That's　what　it　is；〃　said　Harry。　　〃I　can't　stand　things　at　all；　and　I
can't　go　moping　about　as　Norman　does。　　I　can't　live　without　fun；　and
now　Norman　isn't　here；　half　the　time　it　turns　to　something　I　am　sorry
for　afterwards。〃

〃But；　Harry；　if　you　let　yourself　be　drawn　into　mischief　here　for　want
of　Norman；　what　would　you　do　at　sea？〃

〃I　should　be　an　officer！〃

〃I　am　afraid；〃　said　Margaret；　smiling；　〃that　would　not　make　much
difference　inside；　though　it　might　outside。　　You　must　get　the　self…
control；　and　leave　off　being　afraid　to　be　said　to　be　afraid。〃

Harry　fidgeted。　　〃I　should　start　fresh；　and　be　out　of　the　way　of　the
Andersons；〃　he　said。　　〃That　Anderson　junior　is　a　horrid　fellowhe
spites　Norman；　and　he　bullied　me；　till　I　was　big　enough　to　show　him
that　it　would　not　doand　though　I　am　so　much　younger；　he　is　afraid
of　me。　　He　makes　up　to　me；　and　tries　to　get　me　into　all　the　mischief
that　is　going。〃

〃And　you　know　that；　and　let　him　lead　you？　　Oh；　Harry！〃

〃I　don't　let　him　lead　me；〃　said　Harry　indignantly；　〃but　I　won't　have
them　say　I　can't　do　things。〃

Margaret　laughed；　and　Harry　presently　perceived　what　she　meant；　but
instead　of　answering；　he　began　to　boast；　〃There　never　was　a　May　in
disgrace　yet；　and　there　never　shall　be。〃

〃That　is　a　thing　to　be　very　thankful　for；〃　said　Margaret；　〃but　you
know　there　may　be　much　harm　without　public　disgrace。　　I　never　heard
of　one　of　the　Andersons　being　in　disgrace　yet。〃

〃Noshabby　fellows；　that　just　manage　to　keep　fair　with　old　Hoxton；
and　make　a　show；〃　said　Harry。　　〃They　look　at　translations；　and　copy
old　stock　verses。　　Oh；　it　was　such　fun　the　other　day。　　What　do　you
think？　　Norman　must　have　been　dreaming；　for　he　had　taken　to　school；
by　mistake；　Richard's　old　Gradus　that　Ethel　uses；　and　there　were　ever
so　many　rough　copies　of　hers　sticking　in　it。〃

〃Poor　Ethel！　　What　consternation　she　would　be　in！　　I　hope　no　one
found　it　out。〃

〃Why；　Anderson　junior　was　gaping　about　in　despair　for　sense　for　his
verseshe　comes　on　that；　and　slyly　copies　a　whole　set　of　her　old
ones；　done　when　sheNorman；　I　meanwas　in　the　fifth　form。　　His
subject　was　a　river；　and　hers　Babylon；　but；　altering　a　line　or　two；
it　did　just　as　well。　　He　never　guessed　I　saw　him；　and　thought　he　had
done　it　famously。　　He　showed　them　up；　and　would　have　got　some　noted
good　mark；　but　that；　by　great　good　luck；　Ethel　had　made　two　of　her
pentameters　too　short；　which　he　hadn't　the　wit　to　find　out；　thinking
all　Norman　did　must　be　right。　　So　he　has　shown　up　a　girl's　verses
isn't　that　rare？〃　cried　Harry；　dancing　on　his　chair　with　triumph。

〃I　hope　no　one　knows　they　were　hers？〃

〃Bless　you；　no！〃　said　Harry；　who　regarded　Ethel's　attainments　as
something　contraband。　　〃D'ye　think　I　could　tell？　　No；　that's　the　only
pity；　that　he　can't　hear　it；　but；　after　all；　I　don't　care　for
anything　he　does；　now　I　know　he　has　shown　up　a　girl's　verses。〃

〃Are　these　verses　of　poor　Ethel's　safe　at　home？〃

〃Yes；　I　took　care　of　that。　　Mind　you　don't　tell　anyone；　Margaret；　I
never　told　even　Norman。〃

〃But　all　your　school…fellows　aren't　like　these？　　You　have　Hector
Ernescliffe。〃

〃He's　a　nice　fellow　enough；　but　he　is　little；　and　down　in　the　school。
'Twould　be　making　a　fourth　form　of　myself　to　be　after　him。　　The　fact
is；　Margaret；　they　are　a　low；　ungentlemanly　lot　just　now；　about　sixth
and　upper　fifth　form；〃　said　Harry；　lowering　his　voice　into　an　anxious
confidential　tone；　〃and　since　Norman　has　been　less　amongst　them；
they've　got　worse；　and　you　see；　now　home　is　different；　and　he　isn't
like　what　he　was；　I'm　thrown　on　them；　and　I　want　to　get　out　of　it。　　I
didn't　know　that　was　it　before；　but　Richard　showed　me　what　set　me　on
thinking　of　it；　and　I　see　she　knew　all　about　it。〃

〃That　she　did！　　There　is　a　great　deal　in　what　you　say；　Harry；　but　you
know　she　thought　nothing　would　be　of　real　use　but　changing　within。
If　you　don't　get　a　root　of　strength　in　yourself；　your　ship　will　be　no
better　to　you　than　schoolthere　will　be　idle　midshipmen　as　well　as
idle　school…boys。〃

〃Yes；　I　know；〃　said　Harry；　〃but　do　you　think　papa　will　consent？　　She
would　not　have　minded。〃

〃I　can't　tell。　　I　should　think　he　would；　but　if　any　scheme　is　to　come
to　good；　it　must　begin　by　your　telling　him　of　the　going　out
shooting。〃

Harry　sighed。　　〃I'd　have　done　it　long　ago　if　she　was　here；〃　he　said。
〃I　never　did　anything　so　bad　before　without　telling；　and　I　don't　like
it　at　all。　　It　seems　to　come　between　him　and　me　when　I　wish　him　good…
night。〃

〃Then；　Harry；　pray　do　tell　him。　　You'll　have　no　comfort　if　you
don't。〃

〃I　know　I　shan't；　but　then　he'll　be　so　angry！　　And；　do　you　know；
Margaret；　'twas　worse　than　I　told　you；　for　a　covey　of　partridges　got
up；　and　unluckily　I　had　got　the　gun；　and　I　fired　and　killed　one；　and
that　was　regular　poaching；　you　know！　　And　when　we　heard　some　one
coming；　how　we　did　cut！　　Axthe　other　fellow；　I　mean；　got　it；　and
cooked　it　in　his　bedroom；　and　ate　it　for　supper；　and　he　laughs　about
it；　but　I　have　felt　so　horrid　all　the　week！　　Suppose　a　keeper　had　got
a　summons！〃

〃I　can　only　say　again；　the　only　peace　will　be　in　telling。〃

〃Yes；　but　he　will　be　so　angry。　　When　that　lot　of　fellows　a　year　or
two　ago　did　something　like　it；　and　shot　some　of　the　Abbotstoke
rabbits；　don't　you　remember　how　much　he　said　about　its　being
disgraceful；　and　ordering　us　never　to　have　anything　to　do　with　their
gunnery？　　And　he　will　think　it　so　very　bad　to　have　gone　out　on　a　lark
just　now！　　Oh；　I　wish　I　hadn't　done　it。〃

〃So　do　I；　indeed；　Harry！　but　I　am　sure；　even　it　he　should　be　angry　at
first；　he　will　he　pleased　with　your　confessing。〃

Harry　looked　very　reluctant　and　disconsolate；　and　his　sister　did　not
wonder　for　Dr。　May's　way　of　hearing　of　a　fault　was　never　to　be
calculated　on。　　〃Come；　Harry；〃　said　she；　〃if　he　is　ever　so　angry；
though　I　don't　think　he　will　be；　do　you　think　that　will　be　half　as
bad　as　this　load　at　your　heart？　　Besides；　if　you　are　not　bold　enough
to　speak　to　him；　do　you　think　you　can　ever　be　brave　enough　for　a
sailor？〃

〃I　will；〃　said　Harry；　and　the　words　were　hardly　spoken；　before　his
father's　hand　was　on　the　door。　　He　was　taken　by　surprise　at　the
moment　of　trial　coming　so　speedily；　and　had　half　a　mind　to　retreat　by
the　other　door；　he　was　stayed　by　the　reflection　that　Margaret　would
think　him　a　coward；　unfit　for　a　sailor；　and　he　made　up　his　mind　to
endure　whatever　might　betide。

〃Harry　here？　　This　is　company　I　did　not　expect。〃

〃Harry　has　something　to　say　to　you；　papa。〃

〃Eh！　my　boy；　what　is　it？〃　said　he　kindly。

〃Papa；　I　have　killed　a　partridge。　　Two　fellows　got　me　to　hire　a　gun；
and　go　out　shooting　with　them　last　Saturday；〃　said　Harry；　speaking
firmly　and　boldly　now　he　had　once　begun。　〃We　meant　only　to　go　after
pee…wits；　but　a　partridge　got　up；　and　I　killed　it。〃

Then　came　a　pause。　　Harry　stopped；　and　Dr。　May　waited；　half　expecting
to　hear　that　the　boy　was　only　brought　to　confession　by　finding
himself　in　a　scrape。　　Margaret　spoke。　　〃And　he　could　not　be　happy
till　he　had　told　you。〃

〃Is　it　so？　　Is　that　the　whole？〃　said　the　doctor；　looking　at　his　son
with　a　keen　glance；　between　affection　and　inquiry；　as　if　only　waiting
to　be　sure　the　confession　was　free；　before　he　gave　his　free
forgiveness。

〃Yes；　papa；〃　said　Harry；　his　voice　and　lip　losing　their　firmness；　as
the　sweetness　of　expression　gained　the　day　on　his　father's　face。
〃Only　that　I　know'twas　very　wrongespecially　nowand　I　am　very
sorryand　I　beg　your　pardon。〃

The　latter　words　came　between　sighs；　fast　becoming　sobs；　in　spite　of
Harry's　attempts　to　control　them；　as　his　father　held　out　his　arm；　and
drew　him　close　to　him。

〃That's　mamma's　own　brave　boy；〃　he　said　in　his　earin　a　voice　which
strong　feeling　had　reduced　to　such　a　whisper；　that　even　Margaret
could　not　hearshe　only　saw　how　Harry；　sobbing　aloud；　clung　tighter
and　tighter　to　him；　till　he　said　〃Take　care　of　my　arm！〃　and　Harry
sprang　back　at　least　a　yard；　with　such　a　look　of　dismay；　that　the
doctor　laughed。　　〃No　harm　done！〃　said　he。　　〃I　was　only　a　little　in
dread　of　such　a　young　lion！　　Comeback；　Harry；〃　and　he　took　his　hand。
〃It　was　a　bad　piece　of　work；　and　it　will　never　do　for　you　to　let
yourself　be　drawn　into　every　bit　of　mischief　that　is　on　foot；　I
believe　I　ought　to　give　you　a　good　lecture　on　it；　but　I　can't　do　it；
after　such　a　straightforward　confession。　　You　must　have　gone　through
enough　in　the　last　week；　not　to　be　likely　to　do　it　again。〃

〃Yes；　papathank　you。〃

〃I　suppose　I　must　not　ask　you　any　questions　about　it；　for　fear　of
betraying　the　fellows；〃　said　Dr。　May；　half　smiling。

〃Thank　you；　papa；〃　said　Harry；　infinitely　relieved　and　grateful；　and
quite　content　for　some　space　to　lean　in　silence　against　the　chair；
with　that　encircling　arm　round　him；　while　some　talk　passed　between
his　father　and　Margaret。

What　a　world　of　thought　passed　through　the　boy's　young　soul　in　that
space！　　First；　there　was　a　thrill　of　intense；　burning　love　to　his
father；　scarcely　less　fondness　to　his　sweet　motherly　sister；　a
clinging　feeling　to　every　chair　and　table　of　that　room；　which　seemed
still